Replace Me (30 page)

“She sounds like an asshole,” I whispered.

“Well, maybe I wasn’t clear enough about my intentions.”

“Maybe you should tell her now.” I didn’t know why I was referring to myself like he was talking to someone else, but he was going along with it too.

“That’s what I’m standin’ here tryin’ to do.” He leaned in, kissing me softly on the lips. My knees got weak and my arms wrapped around him, like they belonged there. “You hurt me, Lacey.”

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to stand in the way of your career.”

“You wouldn’t talk to me. You completely shut me out, like I meant nothin’ to you.”

“It hurt too much. I’ve been miserable without you.”

“You have a terrible way of showin’ it.”

“So what happens now?”

“You see, you didn’t count on me comin’ back so soon did you? You thought I’d move on and pretend this never happened?” He motioned between us.

I shrugged. “Something like that.”

Joey grabbed my arms and his face showed pain. “I don’t give up that easily, woman. I told you before, I always get what I want. If you’d stayed long enough, you would have realized that I wasn’t goin’ to let you walk out of my life. I’d fight for this, because it’s all I want. I’m a grown man, who knows what he wants in life, but I don’t want any of it, if I can’t share it with you. I’m sorry it took me so long to get back. I had to tie up loose ends and make sure I had a job to come back to.”

“You’re not going back to Italy?” I couldn’t believe this was really happening.

“Lacey, I came home to be with you. I chose you over everything else. It’s time to change and leave my old life behind me. I want more. I want you.”

I was crying so hard and couldn’t bring myself to speak. It was too surreal to me, that he was here, holding me and confessing his love for me.

“I love you,” he whispered against my lips.

Our kiss started slow and then became so much more. Months worth of  pain were being sucked away from my heart and it was filling with something new, something full and hopeful.

I clung to him and felt him doing the same. It was freezing, but I was burning up. We broke our embrace and looked at each other again. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Say you love me back. Tell me that comin’ home wasn’t a mistake. Say somethin’.”

“I love you back.”

There was a house full of people waiting for us, but we stayed outside holding each other. It was like one of those sappy movie endings that never happen in real life, except it was really happening. Joey was back. He’d come back for me and risked it all for a second chance.

I wasn’t going to hurt him this time. I knew better.

This time I’d never let him go.

We started walking toward the party. “I thought you liked Italy.”

He shrugged. “I can’t get a decent cup of coffee and croissants are over rated. Who wants to eat pasta with a spoon, when they could be comin’ home to you every night? I missed you, woman.”

That’s when I knew he was all mine.

Chapter 31

Shayne

Ashley was released the next morning, but since she was on bed rest, her parents insisted that she stay with them. I hated the idea, but knew she needed to be cared for when I was at work. We sent messages and I visited her every night, but it was never the time to talk about things.

The longer I waited, the more I doubted myself. She was having twins and I couldn’t put myself out there and then change my mind months later. It wouldn’t have been fair to her or the children.

By the weekend, I’d set myself crazy. I broke my plans to hang out with Megan and decided to invite Ash to come and spend the weekend at the apartment with me. I promised to pamper her and make sure she stayed in a laying position.

Her parents were reluctant, but Ash insisted she could ride in a car and make it there without stressing herself.

We got there with no problem and I helped her into her bed, when she complained about not being mobile.

I brought the fifty inch flat screen into her room the night before and had a huge spread ready for when she got settled. For hours we sat in her bed, watching movies and stuffing our faces. It felt right, being there with her like that.

By the end of the night, we were snuggled up together, but not in a romantic way. We’d talked about names of the twins and even liked some of the same ones. She had her head against my chest and my arm was around her shoulder. I kept wondering how we’d got to this point in our relationship and not noticed it happening. We were definitely closer and now that I was paying attention, the signs were all there.

When the twins started moving around, she had to adjust to get comfortable. I put my head against her stomach, over the fabric of her clothing. She watched me waiting for them to kick me. I took my hand, lifted my head and laid it back down against her naked stomach. Ashley seemed shocked.

I could feel them moving around in there, and without thinking about what was happening, I kissed her belly.

When I looked up, she had a frozen look about her. “What?”

“What is this Shayne?”

“You tell me.” We just sat there looking at each other, hoping that the other person would speak first.

She laughed at me. “You’re bein’ weird. Did you think I fell in love with you for takin’ care of me? Is that what this is?”

I looked down and then back up to her. “Isn’t that what’s happenin’?”

Her eyes were huge looking back at me. She shook her head and started backing away from me. “Don’t play games with me, Shayne. I’m not one of those girls.”

“No. You’re not.” I ran my hand over her face and she closed her eyes. I could tell from the way she was reacting that I wasn’t imagining it. Whatever was happening between us was mutual. I got closer to those puffy lips, never taking my eyes away from hers. Our lips met and I closed my eyes, hoping I wasn’t going to get slapped. She tasted like popcorn and salt and as our tongues met for the first time, I felt something changing. It wasn’t the fact that kissing her was getting me turned on, or the reality of what was happening. I was surprised at how right it felt to kiss her.

After all this time spent living together something had happened between us that neither of us expected.

I pulled away and we shared a moment of silence as we looked to each other for answers. “Shayne. Don’t do this.”

I kissed her again, before I replied. “Do what?”

“Don’t get my hopes up just to end up hurtin’ me. I’ve already been through too much to have my heart broken again.”

I leaned my head against hers and thought hard about being faithful to someone. This wasn’t just a person that I’d known for years. This was someone who knew all of my secrets. I trusted her completely and she not only tolerated me, but had developed feelings for me when I was at my worst. “Ash, I know you’re not goin’ to believe me, but I think I’m in love with you.”

When she said nothing I pulled away so I could see her reaction. Her eyes were full of tears and I wiped them before they could run down her cheeks. “Please don’t say things like that to me.”

I wondered if she was begging me to stop because her feelings weren’t the same. I had to know. For weeks I’d been tearing myself apart over it. “Do you love me?” She stopped pleading and looked away. I grabbed her chin and forced her to look at me. “Yes or no, Ash. Am I imaginin’ that there’s somethin’ happenin’ between us?”

She shook her head and whispered, “no.”

“What happens now?”

Ash shrugged again and I intertwined our fingers. “Shayne, I can’t be with you. I know too much about you. You’re not the kind of guy to settle down and have some romance with someone expectin’ twins. I’m fat and you feel sorry for me.”

“What’s your excuse then? Why are you allowed to feel that way about me, but I can’t feel the same damn way?”

“Because you’re you.”

I was feeling offended. Maybe I deserved it, but I knew this wasn’t like anything else I felt before. “The thing is, a friend of mine told me that she knew love from lust because when she pictured herself without that person she didn’t want to go on. You see, I’ve questioned these feelin’s for a while now, so I sat back and thought about your theory. When you went into that hospital, I dropped everything to get to you. I didn’t want anything to happen to you or the twins. Imagining losing any of you was Hell. It was the worst feelin’ I’ve ever experienced. I know you worked things out with my brother and I’m not obligated to take responsibility for them, but what if I want to? What if I want to be their father?”

“You’re talkin’ crazy, Shayne. You can’t just sign up for a lifetime of raising someone else’s children. It doesn’t work that way.”

I grabbed both of her hands and looked directly into her beautiful blue eyes. “Ash, I can’t promise what will happen with us, but I want to be the father to these children. I want them to be mine. They’ve got my blood runnin’ through their veins. I’ll never abandon them, I promise you that.”

She started getting herself into an emotional fit. Tears ran down her eyes, while snot ran out of her nose. I got up and grabbed her the tissues, then came back and pulled her into my arms. “You don’t know what you’re sayin’.”

I held her close to me and kissed her head. “You’re the first woman that I never wanted to sleep with. Bein’ with you was never about gettin’ you into bed. That’s when I knew it was real. I wanted to be with you, without ever kissin’ you. It’s not about sex or playin’ head games. I want somethin’ with you that I’ve never shared with anyone else. I’ve seen you at your worst and still thought you were gorgeous. I get that we promised it would never happen between us, but it did anyway. I want a chance, Ash. Just give me a chance. Please?”

Ashley cried herself to sleep, never responding to my pleas. I knew she was scared, so was I. We were sailing through a storm and bound to sink, but wanted to take the chance anyway. I didn’t know if I’d changed, or even if I could, but I wanted to. I wanted to do whatever it took to keep her and those babies from walking out of my life.

I may not have seen it happening, because it was slow and unexpected, but I wouldn’t change it. I was in love with Ashley, even if she was carrying my brother’s children and still carried around feelings for my cousin. The family was going to hate me even more, but I didn’t care. For the first time, in a very long time, I felt happy. I had something to look forward to. She’d become my best friend and so much more.

I finally understood what I’d taken from Lacey with my lies. I finally realized what it felt like to fear losing the one you loved.

We may not have ended up together, but she taught me how to love and I’d never forget that. Losing Lacey finally made sense, as I woke up still holding Ashley in my arms.

She greeted me with a smile and one word that changed everything. “Okay.”

Our story was just starting out. We had a lot of explaining to do, but for now, we weren’t leaving this bed, or each other’s arms.

Lacey

I felt like I was dreaming.

It was hard, sitting in his apartment and waiting for everyone to leave, so we could be alone. I think they sensed what was going on between us. As happy as I was to have him back, I didn’t want his mother getting mad at me for hogging him to myself.

Joey saw the last of the company out and held his arm out to help me off of the couch. “As much as I like seein’ you in this, I think we need to get you out of this dress.”

He pulled me into his bedroom, kissing me the whole way. I hoped up into his arms and let him carry me to the bed. He leaned down, letting me fall on the mattress. Joey reached around, unzipping the dress. I got on my knees and held up my arms so he could pull it off of me. His shirt was the next thing to disappear. I tugged it over his head. We were so eager to be together that we began taking off our own clothes. I needed to be naked and feeling his skin touching mine.

“Slow down, Lace. We’ve got all night. His body was on top of mine and I was devouring him in kisses. I was smelling him, licking him and sucking on his skin, as if he were a craving that I had to have.

I dug my nails into his back and didn’t let up. My mouth wanted to savor every inch of him.

He flipped us over and I sat up, grinding my naked pussy against him. Joey reached down and ran his finger in between my folds, pulling it back up to his mouth and sucking on it. “As sweet as I remembered.”

I moaned and threw my head back, trying to control the chills he was giving me already. He held my thighs and let me dry hump him as if we were fucking. I reached up and pinched my nipples, before bringing one finger up and gathering some saliva off of my tongue. Then I rubbed it over my hardened nipple, getting it shiny and wet. Joey licked my lips as he watched me. He took one of my hands and placed it between my legs. I knew what he wanted and I happily obliged by rubbing my clit. My body rocked as he grabbed my nipple and sucked it into his mouth. I clung to his head with my free hand, holding his hair as my body bucked. I was so wet, so turned on already that I’d made myself cum.

He grabbed my hand and put it to my lips. I eagerly sucked up my own juices, watching him watching me. My pussy was throbbing for more and I began to touch myself there again, but he grabbed my hand and batted it away.

He held onto my waist and lifted me up, where my pussy was directly in his face. I sat on my knees and watched him dive in, lapping up my lips and sucking them hard. He teased my clit with his tongue. I threw my head back and squeezed my nipple again. He continued sucking in my clit then releasing. It was driving me wild with desire. When his thumb came into play, too, I knew what he wanted.

“Show me how much you missed me, Lace. Show me what I do to you.”

He rubbed it hard, applying a circular pattern to my swollen bud. It was already sensitive from moments ago when I’d had my first orgasm. This time would be stronger. I could already feel it happening. He moved his thumb swiftly, applying the necessary pressure for me to explode in passion.

I let go, feeling the gush of euphoria pouring out of me. Joey ran his chin stubble over it, soaking it up. He groaned and licked my soaked lips, before lightly smacking it. My body shuttered again and I flipped over, falling onto the bed next to him.