Renounced (14 page)

But damn it all, he wanted to show the wolf shifters that they were the fools here.

And yes, that he wasn’t scared of them, even though he was outnumbered.

There is the bad thinking again, you fucking fool. Why not just run off and leave Dallas, if that’s the way you’re going to be?

There was a flicker of jealousy he wanted to ignore. The closeness of a pack was something he would never know. It was appealing to that scared, abandoned part of him, even as it terrified that same part.

The idea of knowing there was a support group, people who would be there for and beside him-- yes, Tiago definitely was envious of that.

Dallas stepped closer to Marcus. “Alpha Anax, listen to me. I—”

Marcus arched an eyebrow at him. “I only want to talk to him.” He gestured at Tiago.

Dallas seemed to shrink a little. “I know, and I’m sorry. It’s just—” He took a deep breath then looked at Tiago. “Doesn’t this feel wrong to you, at all? We’re in his territory, you know, like if someone came onto your pack lands…”

Marcus grunted. He linked hands with his lover and the two of them seemed to make some sort of silent exchange.

Tiago’s gaze was inexorably drawn to Dallas. He wanted that bond back, that closeness he’d so carelessly damaged.

The man’s warm gray eyes were focused on him in return. “Marcus, Tiago is my mate.”

The admission shocked Tiago as much as it seemed to everyone else. Even Dallas blinked as if he couldn’t believe he’d said that.

“Your mate.” Marcus’ voice was flat, yet carried an anger that was unmistakable. “Then why are you not with him?”

“Because—” Dallas began.

Tiago dropped down from the limb, landing very close to Marcus and Nathan. He shifted and stood tall as he looked at Marcus. “That is between Dallas and me.” Tiago’s pride was pounding at him. He didn’t want to admit how wrong he’d been to anyone, but he would to his mate.

Marcus surprised him with a hard, quick shove that sent Tiago stumbling back. “Let me tell you something, fucker,” Marcus growled out, clearly losing his grasp on his temper. “I have fucking had it with assholes messing with my pack, hurting the people I care about and am sworn to protect! I will kick your ass from here to Argentina and back if I have to in order to make you treat Dallas right.”

“Marcus,” Nathan said urgently, tugging at Marcus’ shoulder.

Marcus ground his teeth.

Tiago heard him do it, saw the flex of his jaw. It didn’t take an informal knowledge of Marcus to know that the man was close to a breaking point and when he snapped, it would likely be brutal.

Perhaps being on the receiving end of that would be unwise. Tiago still couldn’t just capitulate. He was careful to keep from holding a defensive posture as he asked, “So you’re his parent figure? I must ask for your permission to date Dallas? It’s a little late for that.”

Nathan stepped back.

Tiago braced himself for a fight.

Dallas shouted and ran between him and Marcus. “No! He doesn’t know our ways, Marcus!”

“He’s about to learn one of them,” Marcus snarled, advancing with one quick step and pushing Dallas aside.

Tiago blocked the first swing and ducked the second. Marcus was fast, much faster and stronger than Tiago had thought him to be. Tiago was going to have to fight dirty. He grinned.

“Stop it! Now!”

That command, by Nathan, brought them both up short.

Nathan marched right between them, much as Dallas had, but he braced both hands on Marcus’ chest and addressed him. “That’s enough. This isn’t helping. You have to stop and—”

Whatever else he said was probably shared silently. After a moment, Marcus gave a clipped nod and the cold look he sent Tiago promised another uninterrupted round, should Marcus deem it necessary.

“We’ll discuss this in the morning, if Dallas wants us to wait that long,” Marcus growled out.

Tiago arched an eyebrow at the wolf shifter.

“Tiago.”

Dallas said his name quietly, and it went straight to Tiago’s heart, chasing off the anger and cockiness Marcus had brought out in him.

Was his mate going to give him a second chance now?

He still couldn’t feel Dallas’ thoughts.

But Dallas took his hand. “Come on. We’ll talk.”

And Tiago let himself be led back into the wolf’s den.

Chapter Eleven

“Marcus, you have to—” Nathan stopped and exhaled with undisguised exasperation. “Ugh! Okay, that’s not the right way to say it. You are entitled to feel what you feel. It’s understandable that after all the stresses of the past year—hell, the past decade or more—that you’re overburdened. You can’t show weakness in front of anyone, even in front of me it’s hard for you. You say you’re past your abduction, but the nightmares started again. You’ve bulked up more than I’d ever have thought possible, Marcus. You’ve got muscles stacked on muscles, and
those
muscles are working out lifting the ones on top of them!”

Marcus almost chortled at the exaggeration. He wasn’t that big yet.

“Yes, you are.” Nathan strode from the window over to the bed where Marcus sat propped against the headboard. “You are, and you know it—and you know why.”

Marcus tightened his lips against speaking.

Nathan sat by him and caressed Marcus’ chest. “These muscles are hot—don’t get me wrong—but when we met, you were so thin, and I loved you then, too. Not at first, I won’t lie. I was freaked out and you know that. But it didn’t take long before I thought…look at this incredible, strong man.” Nathan stopped his hand over Marcus’ heart. “Here, where it’s most important, is a core of strength and just
goodness
unlike any I’ve ever seen before. You can bulk up and it won’t change this good, kind, wise heart. It won’t alter the brilliant mind, the soul that blesses my life every moment of every day. It won’t make you any less vulnerable in the places that truly matter.”

“It mattered when I was gutted,” Marcus said bluntly, not to hurt his mate. He did have to bring up the point as it had a bearing on their conversation. “When I almost died, this body would have failed me if it hadn’t been for that pill. So I want to be stronger, Nathan. I need to be stronger and not just physically, but yes, that way also. I can’t let fear keep preying on me. I can’t doubt myself all the time or often. I can’t…” Marcus sighed and his anger and defenses deflated then fled along with his exhaled breath. “I can’t keep carrying it all. I feel like I have to be this perfect, indestructible, almost emotionless being. Even laughing freely around others, it’s like, I wonder if there are pack members seeing that as a weakness now.”

“Fuck them if they do,” Nathan rumbled. “Seriously. Fuck them. Marcus, all you have to be is
you.
It was more than enough to make you Alpha Anax. You’ve led the packs for over a decade and done so with a fairness no other Alpha Anax ever has. You are still also only a man, not a god. Don’t hold yourself up to unattainable status. Don’t expect perfection when you know it doesn’t exist.” Nathan straddled his legs and cupped Marcus’ face in his hands. His intense gaze burned through Marcus. “It’s okay to break down, Marcus. It’s okay to let yourself mourn and be afraid. You don’t have to do it in front of the whole pack, but you can do it here, with me—with your friends and your brother. It isn’t a sign of weakness to mourn the loss of people we care about, not in private or in public. You want to unite our people? Show them how much you are like them. Putting yourself on a pedestal isn’t going to achieve the unity you want for us.”

Marcus squeezed his eyes shut, as he tried to compose his thoughts. “I’m not putting myself on a pedestal, I—” Frustrated, he growled when he couldn’t find the words to express himself. He couldn’t even do it mentally, because he wasn’t sure what he was feeling or why he was feeling it.

“Marcus.”

Nathan said his name so tenderly, it made Marcus’ eyes burn with the threat of tears.

Soft, sweet touches of Nathan’s lips against his began loosening the knot of tension and frustration inside Marcus.

Marcus unclenched hands he’d fisted unconsciously. He smoothed his palms up Nathan’s back, pushing the thin shirt up as he did so.

Nathan settled more fully on his lap, his ass on Marcus’ cock.

Marcus remembered the one time Nathan had bottomed, back when they’d first met. Nathan had bitched the entire week afterwards.

“Not the entire week,” Nathan murmured before kissing him deeply.

Nathan kept his hold on Marcus’ face, gently stroking his thumbs over Marcus’ cheeks.

The kisses were weakening Marcus, his muscles and limbs softening, even as his dick grew erect.

Marcus brought his hands around to tug at the silky hair in Nathan’s armpits. He didn’t pull hard, only let Nathan feel that he was there.

Nathan’s sharp inhale and shiver told of his approval.

That, and the flood of need that washed over Marcus from Nathan.

Nathan’s nipples were taut, begging for attention. Marcus plucked at them as he sucked on Nathan’s tongue.

The rub of Nathan’s bottom was driving Marcus quickly to a release he wanted to draw out. Nathan felt so good on him, so good kissing him and touching Marcus’ face.

Those pert little tits were sweet, too. Marcus kept at them as he returned Nathan’s kiss. He pinched and rolled the tips until Nathan was squirming and had to turn his head as he panted.

“Fuck, Marcus,” Nathan gasped out. “Fuck. Fuck me.”

Marcus froze mid-pinch. “I-I—”

Nathan whimpered and undulated on him. “You don’t have to. I can strip you down and make you scream for me, fuck you until you come apart again and again. That’s what we can do. We—”

But Nathan wanted something more. It wasn’t the first time lately that Nathan had brought it up, either. It was just the most blatant he’d been about it.

Marcus remembered the nipples he held and gave them a twist.

Nathan moaned and arched his back, pushing into the sensation.

Why did Nathan want him to top?

“Because I want all of you. All of you, Marcus, but not if you don’t want it. I get it if you don’t. But if you’re open to it, if…if…”

“As long as it isn’t because you think I need some sort of intervention.”
Marcus sat up and let go of the left nipple. He sealed his lips around it and scraped his teeth over the tip.
“As long as it’s because you want me.”

To his surprise, Nathan cuffed him on the arm. Hard. “You—ugh! You think I’d wait over a decade then decide to give you a sympathy fuck, when we’ve both been very set in our ways? Seriously?” Nathan smacked him again. “I just think once was not enough to form a solid basis on! It hurt. I hurt and ruled out ever doing it again. That was hasty, okay? And it’s taken me a long time to realize that, but if you hated it so bad and—”

Marcus hadn’t hated it. He’d been nervous as hell because he was a bottom, and Nathan fucked him so good he could never compare.

But now he’d had years of learning just how to make a bottom feel amazing, hadn’t he? Nathan had showed him that.

“I’m not averse to trying again,” Marcus said, as he shoved Nathan onto his back.

Nathan’s eyes went wide—huge, even. The heady scent of his arousal filled the room.

Marcus almost always handed over control in the bedroom to his mate. Nathan was as toppy as they came.

Or so he had thought.

“I am,” Nathan clarified. “You just surprised me.”

“And you liked it,” Marcus stated. “Maybe we’ve been too set in our roles.”

“We don’t have roles. We love each other and sexuality—parts of it—are fluid, I think. We evolve as a couple.” Nathan arched one fine eyebrow. “Now, are you going to fuck me or ride me?”

Marcus pushed Nathan’s shirt up again and flicked his nipples. “Guess.”

Nathan cursed and Marcus laughed. It’d been too long since they’d played in bed.

“Don’t you dare.”

Which of course meant Marcus did dare. He tickled Nathan’s ribs.

Nathan squeaked and bucked, kicking his legs.

Marcus grabbed Nathan’s shirt and ripped it from hem to collar.

“Holy fuck, that’s hot,” Nathan rasped. His cock tented the sweats magnificently.

Marcus ran a finger down the length of it then got out of bed. He stripped off his own clothes and took the lube off the nightstand.

“How should we do this?” he mused out loud, raking his gaze down Nathan’s body. “Should I stretch your tight little hole or should you?” The more he thought of it, he was increasingly eager to fuck Nathan. He’d been considering it ever since Nathan had begun hinting that he’d like to try it again.

“Your fingers are bigger.” Nathan held up his own and wiggled them. “I want the whole experience.”

“The whole experience?” Marcus grinned wickedly and tossed the lube onto the bed. He clutched the ankles of Nathan’s sweats. “Then that’s what you will get, honey. Get your cock out.”

With a quick jerk, he had the sweats down. Marcus threw them onto the floor then went back and clasped Nathan’s right ankle. He tugged and helped Nathan to flip onto his belly. Then he urged Nathan closer to the edge of the mattress. “Let’s start here. Or continue—that’s more accurate.”

“Too much talking about not fucking,” Nathan complained.

Marcus spread Nathan’s cheeks. Fiery red hair was sprinkled down his crease and swirled around his asshole. That tiny aperture hadn’t been fucked in a very long time and only ever by Marcus.

“Talk about pressure,” Marcus said. He traced the pattern of the hair.

Nathan snickered. “No pressure yet, baby.”

“Baby, huh?” Marcus knew that wasn’t an endearment they used for each other, so Nathan was joking with him—trying to keep him from worrying about sex.

Marcus wasn’t worried. He was suddenly, thoroughly eager.

He pushed Nathan’s cheeks apart again until that pink hole gaped just a little. Then Marcus licked over it, a rough, long drag of his tongue as he tasted his mate.

“Ohmyfuckinggods,” Nathan babbled as he rocked his butt back.

Marcus squeezed his ass cheeks and went after Nathan’s asshole with a fervor that surprised them both, licking and sucking on that most sensitive skin.