Renewing Hope (In Your World #2) (3 page)

“The Bishop’s wife is ill?” I asked, thinking of how combative the Bishop always seemed.

Perhaps that was his issue. He had to be upset at losing his son and possibly his wife.

“She has been for some time, but with Benjamin leaving, she grew worse. There is much responsibility in being a Bishop’s wife, and she has all but become a recluse,” he said while his frown deepened.

He was quiet for a while and I didn’t push.

The Yoders were a confusing lot.

“I should have helped him.”

I looked up to see Nathan’s eyes closed tight, his head bowed.

“You weren’t in a place to help him, I think. Not then,” I whispered and squeezed his hand to soothe him.

“I could have brought him back,” he continued. “That night he took me to my first Gathering, I should have insisted he come home. But that night, so much happened.”

“It’s not too late, right?” I asked.

Nathan shrugged and squeezed my hand again.

“I am not sure of his desire to come home.”

“He wouldn’t have come to help you this morning if he didn’t,” I reasoned.

“Perhaps. He has come to visit me every night since we have returned,” he murmured.

“Really?” I asked, surprised he was just telling me this now. He seemed to understand and offered a sheepish smile.

“He does not wish to ruin your chance of joining,” he explained. “Today he helped because I asked.”

“Perhaps there is hope for him, then,” I said and squeezed his hand in mine. “Some people just need a reason to come back.”

A small smile crept onto Nathan’s face and he leaned in close, daring propriety with a tender kiss to my temple.

“There is always hope.”

We were quiet the rest of the evening, and I smiled when I watched him walk over the hill, hoping his friend would be there waiting for him.

I lay in bed long after Emma and Abigail fell asleep, thinking about Nathan’s friend.

The Bishop’s son.

Was he looking for a way back?

Would that change things for us?

Would that help in the healing that seemed necessary in this small community?

I had to hope so.

The next morning, Jonah reminded me of my own hurdles when he brought up my intention to join the Amish.

“With Sermon coming tomorrow, and with your expectations to join our Way, I think I should go speak with old Ezekiel after we finish this near field. With Ezekiel on our side, we can get the baptismal classes started soon. It is late in the season to begin them,” he said and tried to hide his smile with a bite of his biscuit.

“You think Ezekiel will agree that Kate will be able to join?” Nathan asked, hopeful.

“I think old Ezekiel will be open to the idea. He more than anyone has the ability to bend the Bishop’s ear,” Jonah replied and left it at that.

The food lay untouched on my plate, my nerves tightly wound so that my stomach churned and clenched. While I understood what I would have to accomplish, I also knew that the Bishop would need to be convinced. With Jonah’s promise to speak with the Elder I had met at Hannah’s wedding, the possibility of an Amish life for me was suddenly more of a reality than a dream.

The remainder of the morning was spent helping Fannie with clearing cabinets indoors. It was a welcome distraction and a relief to stay out of the sun that offered perhaps our last day of summer. Soon, it would be fall, and judging by my sisters’ grins, I was not the only one with ideas of what the fall would bring. With fall came plans for winter. With the winter came the hope of being Nathan’s wife and a life of peace.

Lunch was a hurried affair as Jonah announced he was off to speak with Ezekiel.

He looked my way and nodded.

"I think we will have good news when I return," he assured us and squeezed his wife's hand as he left.

Fannie turned to us then and nodded.

"Well, with the garden cleared and the laundry done here, it seems we should look to taking care of some things that have fallen to the wayside. Katherine, you may go with Nathan if you like, and help see to his garden. I do not think it has been watered in several days, and we need to harvest what we can for preserving. I am sure he needs help with the stalls as well since he was here so early," she said and I gaped at her at the idea that she was letting me go over to Nathan's house, without a chaperone.

She smirked and gathered up the dishes beside her.

"I will send Emma shortly, as soon as we have finished cleaning here," she added.

Nathan stood and held the door for me as we departed, his gait a little faster than I had ever seen as we made our way up the hill. I had trouble keeping up with his long strides and was breathless by the time we crested the hill. He glanced back to the Berger house once before reaching for my hand and breaking out into a slow run, my surprised laughter echoing off the barn as we neared it.

Slowing as we approached the barn, he wrapped his arm around me to pull me close. Stepping inside, it was much cooler, and smelled of horses and clean hay as we walked deeper toward the stalls. He chuckled as he guided me toward an empty stall, his hands sliding up to cup my heated cheeks.

"The benefit to not sleeping at night?" he murmured against my temple. "I was up well before dawn to finish my chores."

His lips found mine, devouring mine as we moved further into the stall.

"I have missed you against me, so much," he groaned and pulled me down into the fresh hay.

"Me too," I sighed and felt his lips glide along my jaw while his body adjusted beside me, his hand sliding along my hip.

His mouth searched me out, his nose nuzzling into my hair before he let out a slow breath and kissed the thrumming heartbeat in my throat. He looked down at me with heavy eyes, his mouth open as he struggled to breathe in his excitement.

His hands moved along my body, fingertips gliding up my ribs until they reached my breasts, ghosting over them with exaggerated care. I moaned and arched my back, desperate for his warmth to envelope me.

"I missed feeling you against me," I murmured.

I felt him shift, his leg moving in between mine, my skirt and apron hindering him as he tried to move closer. He looked down at my clothes and chuckled low.

"I miss your English clothes," he joked and let one hand slip down past my thigh to grasp at the skirt, raising it up to my knee. Feeling his fingertips brush the bare skin of my thigh, I moaned and drew my leg up around his, tugging him closer to me. His lips found mine again, and explored me with more urgency.

"Not enough time," he moaned into my mouth, his fingers gripping my thigh to hold me closer.

I knocked his hat off reaching for his hair, his soft laughter echoing in the stall.

Rolling him to his back, I straddled him as he continued to kiss me along my neckline, his hands searching for the hooks that kept my dress closed. He unhooked two, snaking his hand under the fabric to search out my bare skin beneath. His hot fingertips made my eyelids flutter while they traveled and brushed the swell of my breasts, a pleasured hum escaping my throat at his feather light touch.

I felt Nathan’s arm wrap around me and pull me back into the hay, his body pressed to mine with more determination as his mouth tasted my skin, a pleasured moan coming out of his mouth when his middle ground along the right spot against me. His hand slid down toward my knee, guiding it up with a gentle nudge to spread out as far as the skirt would allow.

His body pressing closer to mine.

And then we heard a noise somewhere outside the stall.

Followed by a man’s voice I didn’t recognize.

"Hello?"

Nathan pulled away in a flash at the sound of the man's voice somewhere in the barn, near the far entrance. I scrambled to cover myself as he pulled my skirt down and straightened himself hurriedly. We were both flushed and breathing heavily, something that would be noticed by whomever was calling.

"Nathan? Are you in there?" the man called again.

He looked down at me, asking silently if I was all right, watching as I smoothed my mussed hair. I nodded and watched as he rose, stepping out of the stall quickly to head off the unknown person before he discovered us. I heard the strain in his voice as he spoke.

"Benjamin, pleasant day. You startled me," Nathan was saying as he moved away.

Benjamin Yoder was here? Again? Why did he have to choose this particular time to come around?

"I am sorry,” I heard Benjamin say. “Did you forget I said I would come by this morning? Did I interrupt you in your tasks?"

I heard Nathan cough and the sound of the barn door creaking as it opened.

"Just clearing stalls," Nathan replied, farther away.

"I can help."

"No. Just about finished. How about a drink inside? I am rather thirsty," Nathan continued.

"You do look flushed. You should not over exert yourself. I would have helped."

I didn't hear Nathan's answer, as they continued out of the barn. I let out a frustrated breath and brushed myself off, sure that I had hay stuck in my hair. I waited a few minutes to let my skin cool, and then headed toward the garden, just in time to see Emma coming down the hill. She drew near, her smile widening as she caught sight of me.

"The garden is looking better," she said in a casual voice, although the smirk on her face gave her away.

I tried to smile as I grabbed the water pail, intent on watering the garden at the very least. She followed along behind me, smiling as she watched me. I had the water gushing out of the pump before she leaned in and plucked a few stray strands of hay from under my cover. The smirk and devious glimmer in Emma’s eye told me I would never hear the end of this.

"Spent some time in the barn taking care of the stalls?" she asked coyly.

"Yes," I replied and dragged the water pail away, feeling her fingers in my hair once more.

"You should really put a blanket down next time," she giggled, jumping away from me before I could splash her with water.

She giggled again and I couldn't help but laugh.

I would rather be caught by Emma than by Jonah.

On my third trip to the water pump, I noticed Nathan was sitting on the porch with Benjamin, watching us. While waiting for the pail to fill, I chanced a glance at Nathan’s old friend while they talked. Benjamin had not changed: thin and in faded English clothes, his hair shorter than Nathan’s, but still a wild mess as it splayed out over his ears and forehead. His countenance was different from the two times I had seen him before. He smiled a little easier as he spoke, and glanced back toward Emma and me time and again with a thoughtful look on his face while he listened to Nathan’s replies.

I looked up toward the porch as I laughed with Emma, who was still finding hay, and noticed Benjamin's bashful smile as he realized he had been caught watching us. He turned away from us and toward Nathan, who was watching me with contented eyes. Benjamin said something, making Nathan blush before tugging at his hair and laughing, keeping his eyes on me as I picked up the bucket and turned back to the garden. When we finally reached the porch, the two of them were deep in conversation, Nathan staring at me as I approached. Benjamin turned and smiled, taking off his ball cap and nodding to me.

"Pleasant day, Katherine. Emma."

I nodded and smiled.

"It's good to see you again, Benjamin," I said in greeting.

Benjamin cleared his throat and shook his head.

“It is good to see you well, and back with Nathan,” he said and smirked when Nathan shifted in his seat. “I am glad you are safe amongst family once more.”

I busied myself with looking down at my hands, muddy from the garden.

“He and I have you to thank. By helping Nathan, he was able to find me. We are most grateful,” I said and looked up to find Benjamin looking down at his own hands, wringing his old ball cap.

“It was the least I could do. I am sorry for your hurt.”

“That’s in the past. We have forgiven and moved on.” I smiled when he glanced up at me again, his eyes full of curiosity.

“Benjamin took care of things while we were away,” Nathan added and squeezed his friend’s shoulder in silent thanks. “He has been coming to check on me since we arrived home, to help keep things from falling behind more than they have.”

“Thank you for your kindness, Benjamin. I wondered how the garden seemed less dire than I feared,” I quipped, noticing Benjamin’s embarrassment at Nathan’s praise.

"Well, I wanted to come help Nathan with his chores, but he seems to have them in hand. He made quick work of the stalls, I see," he chuckled, his eyes cutting back at me, full of mischief.

Emma took that moment to chime in.

"Yes, well Nathan was always rather good about getting his work done early so he could enjoy the benefits," she quipped with a laugh, Benjamin joining in.

“I should get going,” Benjamin said after he settled down and made to stand.

“I’m sure Nathan would love the company while we head back to prepare supper,” I suggested, seeing Nathan’s hopeful eyes regard his friend.

Benjamin gripped his hat a little harder, offering a pained smile.

“Probably not the best thing right now,” he murmured.

“Fannie and Jonah have asked to invite you to supper when we saw you next,” I continued, glancing at Nathan. “Surely you wouldn’t deny Fannie a night of filling your belly.”

“I really shouldn’t,” Benjamin said. “If the Bishop learned…”

“It is our way of thanking you for helping us. And for helping to clear the field. Please say you will,” I said, earning a resigned sigh and then a brief nod.

“Thank you. A good supper would be nice,” he said and avoided my eyes, his mood suddenly very melancholy.

“We will see you soon then, Benjamin,” I said, feeling a little guilty for strong-arming him to come to supper.

"We should head back and help Fannie with supper," Emma suggested and turned to go.

“I will be along for supper shortly. I have some things to talk with Benjamin about,” Nathan replied quietly.

“All right,” I said and waved as Emma pulled me toward the hill.

Halfway up the hill I slowed and looked over at Emma, who was strangely quiet.