Renewing Hope (In Your World #2) (25 page)

Regardless of what we found at daybreak.

We'd be all right.

Sean was out of my life forever now.

I opened my eyes at the sound of someone approaching. Bishop Yoder knelt down and pulled a bucket close to us, wringing out a rag in his hands. He glanced up at me and then off to his son, who was being carried to the house by four men.

"You saved his life, when your Nathan was safe," he said, his tone measured.

I swallowed and held Nathan a little closer to me.

"I couldn't let Benjamin die."

He dipped the cloth back in the water, pausing to wring it out again. His brow was furrowed, as if troubled by his thoughts.

"You would risk your life, when your love was safe from harm? For my son?" he asked, looking up at me with large dark eyes.

There was so much pain in his eyes.

Conflict. Turmoil.

And anger?

"He is family, Bishop Yoder," I answered softly.

"Benjamin is family to you," he stated, not asking.

I nodded.

"He is like a brother to Nathan. And he has been kind to me. He
is
family," I replied.

He was quiet for a long moment, wringing the cloth in his hands once more.

"Your feet need to be cleaned," he whispered, looking up again, askance. "May I?"

I blinked and nodded, hesitantly, caught off guard by his soft voice.

He bent over and pulled back the blanket, exposing my feet. In the dark they looked dirtied from the mud. I was afraid what they would look like when I saw them in the light. They didn't hurt yet. I had no idea how badly I had burned them. The water was cold when it touched my skin, causing me to shiver. He looked up, feeling me shudder.

"It's okay. Just cold," I mumbled, uncomfortable sitting there in the dark with the man who had caused me so much turmoil.

He worked slowly, rinsing and wiping away the dirt with great care. My eyes never left his face, concentrating on his task with solemn duty. He finished one foot, gently laying it down and covering it before moving to the other. He spoke as he worked on the second foot.

"It was considered a great honor to wash the feet of esteemed people. Jesus wiped away the sins of a beggar woman who anointed his feet with her tears," he said, never looking up.

I knew the story. I had recited it to Ezekiel, citing my place in the world.

But I had been the one unworthy, wishing to be accepted.

This wasn't how Bishop Yoder saw it.

"I am not esteemed, Bishop Yoder," I murmured.

"You are more esteemed than I," he whispered. "You would sacrifice yourself for another. You see what is right while I have been blinded by my prejudice. I am but a beggar wiping the dirt from one who has the power to forgive me of my most abominable sins.”

He rinsed out the dirtied cloth and let out a soft breath when he resumed his task.

“Did you know that we wash the feet of our fellowship every year? To ask forgiveness of any sin we may have done?" he asked.

I shook my head when he glanced up for my answer.

"Well, it should have been covered in your baptismal classes. I suppose we missed some things, given your circumstances," he said quietly.

He wrung out the cloth and placed it on my foot, looking up at me, the anger gone.

"I can only pray for God to forgive me, as I hope you will do one day. I have acted out of fear and pride. I doubted you. It is clear to me tonight that you are what Nathan believes you to be. I beg your forgiveness, child, so that I might find a path back as you have done for my son,” he said, his voice rough with emotion.

He looked away when he saw my uncomfortable frown, wringing out the cloth one last time before standing with the bucket. I cleared my throat and tried to speak what was on my mind, but my head hurt from the smoke and the adrenaline.

"Perhaps you and I both have forgiveness in our hearts tonight? You saved your son tonight, which shows me that you do care for him. That you and he can make amends. Family is important, and Benjamin needs his family. Whatever pain made you lash out at me, I hope it has passed," I whispered.

He nodded and his voice was softer when he spoke again.

"You are more than I thought you to be, and for that I am sorry to have judged you," he said.

"I forgive you, Bishop Yoder."

He let out a long breath and glanced back at me, the raging emotions diminished in his glassy eyes. He watched me for a long moment before nodding toward the house.

"We should get you inside. Nathan needs his rest, as do you. You have a choice to make before the Baptism," he said, and waved over a few men.

I couldn’t open up my mouth for the surprise of his words. Before I could take a breath and clear my throat to thank the Bishop, he was walking away to follow after his son. My heart was much lighter, despite the pain of the last hour or so. The Bishop’s words, instead of instilling fear of rejection, offered me the hope that Nathan had held onto for so long.

Now it was simply a matter of recuperating enough to make it to Sermon.

I nudged Nathan gently, rousing him from his sleep. The men helped us up; once standing I could feel the tenderness on the soles of my feet. I limped toward the house, hearing the firemen discussing the clean up.

"You’re sure no one was left in there?" one was asking Jonah.

I slowed and turned to them.

"There was one person in there," I said, feeling Fannie slip beside me, holding me up.

"One more?" Jonah asked, his eyes wide.

I nodded, looking off at the smoldering pile before us.

"He was already dead," I replied evenly, my mind numbing the reality of the memory. "Trampled."

"Trampled?" the fireman asked.

I watched Jonah's face as I explained what happened. It was important that they knew. We needed to move on.

Sean was gone.

Jeff had escaped.

But we were alive.

"I’ll let the sheriff know about this Jeff Biggins. We’ll have to send word to him about the body as well," the fireman replied and walked away to his crew.

I nodded and slumped into Fannie’s shoulder, exhausted suddenly.

"Come, Katherine," Fannie whispered, pulling me toward the house. "You need to rest."

"I want to make sure Nathan is all right," I said as we made our way up the stairs.

She nodded and pulled a chair close to Nathan's bed, remaining with me while Jonah saw to Nathan's cuts and my burns. Nathan fell asleep almost immediately, his hand in mine while I watched him in his small bed.

"I will see to Benjamin. You need your sleep, Katherine," Jonah said.

"In a bit.”

They left me there, understanding my need to simply sit beside Nathan in the quiet. Outside I could still hear the firemen as they threw water on the barn, and downstairs I could hear women in the kitchen. I could only assume they were trying to figure out a meal as the morning drew close.

I dozed for a time in the chair, but at first light, I slipped from Nathan's room and made my way back downstairs, a blanket wrapped around me to ward off the cold. My feet were sore but I ignored the pain as I made my way out into the early morning, over the scorched grass until I stood near the ruined barn, a few tendrils of smoke still filtering up from the depths of blackened wood. The horizon looked strange without the barn there; I could see into the field that had been trampled and flooded in the night. I turned my attention to the charred structure once more, my thoughts on only one thing.

Sean lay there somewhere, deep in the debris. Hugging myself from the chill, I let out a long breath, feeling a sense of finality in his passing now that the daylight could confirm the events of the night. My past had taken care of itself, in the most horrible of ways.

“Goodbye, Sean,” I whispered in the breeze and clutched at the blanket a little more tightly.

I stood there for some time, watching as men in uniform sifted through the rubble, putting small items into bags and sending it off to a police van nearby. A familiar nicker behind me drew my attention from the devastation, and up into wide black eyes. Magnus limped toward me, his head low. He was caked in ash and dirt, the dried blood around his hooves almost disappearing in his black coat.

"Come, Magnus," I whispered and held my hand out to him.

He stepped up to me, his head nuzzled into my stomach as I stroked his neck carefully. Along his neck and shoulders, fresh cuts from forcing himself through the wall had barely scabbed over in the dirt and grime.

"You have earned yourself all the oats I can sneak you, sweet boy," I whispered and stroked him a little harder, my tears falling over his forelock as he nickered against me.

Jonah stepped out onto the porch, watching me as I held the big black horse against me. He wandered over when I waved him to me. Jonah was silent as he looked over the horse's wounds, specifically the blood along his hooves.

"He will be all right. We will need to clean his wounds. But he is a sturdy horse. Maybe a few scars, but he will be back to work in no time," Jonah replied.

"He saved us last night," I murmured, stroking the horse's cheek slowly.

"He is fiercely devoted to you and to Nathan. I am always amazed at the defensive nature of our beasts," he replied, eyeing me thoughtfully.

"You think he trampled Sean for a reason?" I asked, the idea a little frightening.

"I think your ties to Nathan are more understood by this beast than by many. Magnus would not let anything happen to you."

I nodded and held my hero a little closer.

He would most certainly be getting more oats from here on out.

CHAPTER 15

The day was a rush of activity, men from the community coming to help clear away the wreckage of the barn, while the women brought food and helped with clearing away the dirt and ash that had filtered into the house. I barely made it to midday before Fannie and Mrs. Yoder were ushering me up to the bedrooms to get some rest. It didn’t even register in my head that they had put me in Nathan’s parents’ room.

So much had happened; my mind had processed very little. Nathan had slept most of the day. Every time I had checked on him, he had been fast asleep. All I wanted was to see him awake so I could be sure he was all right. Fatigue finally won out. It was no surprise that my dreams were murky and tense while I slept. It was dark when I awoke with a start, Nathan's name on my lips.

"I am here."

I turned to his voice beside me, his body leaning from his chair to brush his fingertips over my arm. He smiled and stood, leaning over to kiss me softly against my forehead.

"You should try and sleep, but I know Fannie wishes to return home," he whispered.

I groaned and managed to sit at the edge of the bed, still groggy when I felt Nathan slipping my shoes on loosely. My energy was difficult to dredge up. The bed had been much too comfortable.

"Do your feet hurt?" he asked, looking up.

I shook my head and tried to stand. They were only a little tender when I first stepped on them.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, touching the angry cut on his bottom lip. He shrugged and tried not to smile too wide, lest the cut open up once more.

"I'm sorry about the barn," I murmured, sitting back on the bed heavily.

Nathan sat beside me, one arm wrapping around my waist to comfort me.

"Why would you apologize for that? It was not your fault," he said.

"Sean is my fault, though. You would still have a barn if you hadn't pursued me," I replied, looking down at my hands.

"Well, that is over now. We need never think about him again," he said, his voice rough. "I am just thankful that I did not lose you last night. A barn can be remade. You cannot."

His words rang of the familiarity of what I had said to him to calm him that night. I smiled at the thought of how we tried to console one another. I was quiet for a moment while he held me, contemplating the angry series of lines and bruises on his wrists.

"I didn't ask you how it all happened," I whispered. He sighed and held me tighter.

"We heard the horses carrying on. When we stepped into the barn, Benjamin was struck with a shovel. I had time to dodge, but only a second. I was struck hard, lost my balance, and then they tackled me," he explained.

He let out a grunt and shook his head.

"There are some days I wish I was from your world, Kate," he whispered.

"What do you mean?"

He looked down at me and I could see the dangerous glimmer in his eye.

"When he grabbed you, all I wanted to do was kill him," he breathed.

I looked down and shook my head.

"You wouldn't have been able to live with yourself," I murmured.

"It was too smoky to see how he fell. One minute, you were being grabbed, the next I heard Magnus and then his screams," Nathan said and paused. "Magnus killed him, didn't he?"

I nodded. I had no idea how Nathan would treat Magnus after knowing that.

"I will need to see to buying his favorite treats for the winter," he whispered.

"Well, I plan on spoiling him. He'll be a fat horse come spring," I replied, feeling Nathan hold me tighter.

"I love you," he breathed, kissing the top of my head before slowly drawing away. “I would have died had something happened to you.”

“Me too,” I whispered and pressed my lips to his, mindful of his damaged lip.

“The past is in the past,” he murmured and sighed. “Let us get you home so that we may begin the future, tomorrow.”

He helped me off the bed, walking beside me with care as we made our way downstairs where Fannie waited.

"I will see you tomorrow. It is a big day for us," he said as we neared the door.

"I am looking forward to it. I can't wait," I replied, earning a curious grin across his face.

“You are not worried?” he asked.

Thinking on the Bishop’s words, I shook my head.

"Then you need to sleep well tonight. Everything changes tomorrow."

We said our goodnights, and for the first time since I had come to this world, I walked away from him, Nathan watching after me as I left him for the night. I glanced back to find him watching us as we crested the hill, and I took in the landscape.