Remy (12 page)

Chapter 18

Harlow heard Remy leave the bathroom and then the suite.  She knew he had better things to do than babysit her, and she knew she’d screamed at him to go, but it still stung that he had.  He’d been brutally honest, and she knew she should be grateful for that, but she wasn’t.  He’d admitted that he wanted to use her to hurt Mason, and she’d let that happen.  Remembering how David had made Remy confess that he’d kidnapped another woman, Aries Drago, because he’d thought she was Harlow…  She fought the urge to be sick.  She yearned to hear him say that what had happened between them hadn’t been a ruse.  She wanted, so badly, to hear that he hadn’t followed her to the masquerade ball and slept with her just to get back at Mason, but she couldn’t face the alternative.  So far he’d admitted to everything, and she was terrified of him admitting that the ball had been a ruse, that he’d used her.  She couldn’t handle that right now. 

Staring down at the rapidly cooling water, she tried to tamp down her need for resolution.  There were more pressing issues at hand. It was not only selfish, but stupid to be sitting in a tub pouting when the Estate had just been attacked.

Standing, Harlow snagged a towel and dried herself.  The soap hadn’t washed all the oil off and there were red smears left on the towel when she was done.  It’d take a few baths before she was free of the damn oil, but that’d have to wait.

She dressed hurriedly in the clothes Remy had brought her.  They were his, and she looked ridiculous.  Even tied tightly around her waist, the crotch of the sweatpants hung to her knees and were so long in the legs that she couldn’t roll them enough to be able to walk.  She snagged her red-oiled bra from where Remy’d left it on the counter, putting it on before pulling on the T-shirt he’d left her.  It hung past her knees, which was good considering she couldn’t wear the pants.

Glancing up, she caught sight of herself in the mirror and halted.  She looked…different.  Sure, even after her shower there was red smeared on her collarbone and arms, and her hair was hanging plastered to her shirt where it was wet at the bottom, but that wasn’t it.  Even her swollen and bruised lip wasn’t what looked different.  It was her eye. Well, the one she could open anyway.  Her pupil was so dilated that there was barely any green to be seen.  She’d heard Stoney say she was in shock, and she wondered if that’s why she looked so strange.  For a second, her thoughts flashed to Remy and his admission. 
You look like a fucking fool.  A fool that’s been played.
  Her brows speared down at the self-recrimination, but she couldn’t chastise herself, because she deserved it.  She should have been more careful, should have been smarter.  She knew better.

Giving herself one last look of disgust, she left the suite.  The estate house was in a frenzy, with people running this way and that.  No one seemed to notice her attire, which was good.  She hurried down the hallway to Mason and Amanda’s quarters.  Unlike most couples, they chose to reside in a suite rather than one of the cabins in the back.

Harlow knocked and waited, but there was no answer.  She knocked again more loudly, shouting, “HELLO?”  When there was still no answer, she let herself in.  The suite was empty, so she made quick work of snagging some of Amanda’s clothes and quickly dressing.

When she left Mason and Amanda’s suite she was dressed in borrowed underclothes, form-fitting jeans, a violet sweater, and a pair of hiking books with thick socks.  Braiding her hair as she rushed down stairs to the lobby, her booted feet crunched on broken glass, and she silently thanked God that she and Amanda wore the same size shoe.

She was headed for the infirmary to see if Jenny and Stoney needed any help when she heard a loud voice bark, “HEY!”

She knew that voice. Remy. She tried to ignore it, but that was impossible when she was suddenly lifted off the ground from behind.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

He didn’t spin her to him, simply held her back to his chest, and she tensed when his jaw nuzzled her hair.  Her first inclination was to say, ‘None of your damn business.’  But as her Commander, it
was
his damn business.  “To see if I can be of assistance in the infirmary, Sir.”

“Damn it, Harlow!”

Apparently, her formality wasn’t lost on him.  “You’re not walking away from me.  We
are
having that talk.”

“Let me go.” She didn’t fight him though, not even when he swung her legs up so she was cradled in his arms.

“Look at me, damn it!”

She shook her head. 

“You are
not
going to believe that fucking punk.  What happened between us wasn’t about revenge.  It wasn’t about Mason.”

“You…” her voice wavered.  “You wanted to hurt me to hurt Mason.”  The accusation lost some of its vehemence when tears flooded her eyes.

“No!  I did not!”

“YOU ADMITTED IT!” she screamed, then covered her mouth with a hand, turning her head further away from him.  She tried to squirm out of his arms, but Remy wasn’t having it. 

“You’re going to let me explain!” he snarled, his hold on her tightening.

“Let me go!” She jerked her body hard, but he only held her more firmly.

“No. You’re not walking out on me like this.  I’m not losing you over some bullshit.”

“Losing me?” She glared up at him with a sniff, eyes still brimming with emotion.  “You never had me!”

***

Remy growled, his body suddenly tense.

He could scent her pain at what she perceived as his betrayal, but it was nothing compared to the rage that coursed through him.  He’d followed Recker’s stupid plan, and it not only forced his affliction, it caused his mate to be kidnapped and injured. 

“Harlow.” His tone was soft.  “We had to let David take you to keep him from killing you, but if I had known that he’d hurt you physically, or emotionally I would have thought of something else.”

He watched as she drew in a long breath, then dropped her hand, letting it hang limply.  She clearly didn’t want his explanation, and he struggled to come up with the right words to get her to believe him, to
forgive
him.  “I made mistakes, Harlow.  I’ve made lots of mistakes, especially where you and Mason are concerned, but you need to know right now that I would
never
have intentionally tried to harm you, Harlow.  Yes, I admit that before I ever met you, before Mason found you, that I had this stupid fucking plan, but the second I laid eyes on you, on the real you…” He swallowed hard.  “Harlow, I…”

When she spoke, her voice was dull. “I don’t want to hear it.  I don’t want to hear any more.  You keep trying to convince me that you weren’t out to hurt me, even after you admit that you were.  Your words don’t even make sense, and I’m second guessing everything now.  I-I can’t even figure out if you had me on your team to abuse me, or to get close to me so you could hurt Mason through me.”  She looked up at him.  “Which was it?”

He shook his head.

Her eyes narrowed on him.  “Did you secretly get a kick out of all those times David busted me up?”  When he opened his mouth, she didn’t let him speak.  “It doesn’t matter.”  She pushed at his chest. “Put me down.”  When he didn’t, she looked up at him with dead eyes. “Put me down, or I swear I’ll scream.”

A muscle in his jaw twitched, but he slowly lowered her feet to the ground, steadying her before pulling his hands back.  He’d expected her to condemn him, to cut him down, but when she turned and began walking silently away he felt a wave of dread. This was it. If he didn’t do something, right now, he would lose her forever.

Frantic not to lose her, his booted feet crunched on the broken glass covering the lobby as he followed her.  Two big strides had him to her, and he ripped the halo from his throat as he went, not even flinching when it branded his skin as he removed it.  Harlow didn’t turn; she had no idea what had happened when he caught her around the waist, holding her in place as he locked his halo around her throat.  He heard her gasp an instant before the halo whined with a high-pitched sound, winking once with a blinding, ethereal light as he collared his mate, his Angel.

Unconsciousness claimed Harlow, as it did all Angels upon being bound with their mate’s halo.  Remy caught her, lifting her effortlessly.  Seeing his halo on his Angel, he couldn’t stop the pride that flooded him.  She was his!  Finally, he’d found his one.

He hurried up the stairs to his suite, undeterred by the slight weight of his Angel.  He ignored Bishop’s watchful eyes and disapproving frown where he stood near the doors to the infirmary.

Chapter 19

Harlow woke slowly to distant murmurs, and she pushed herself towards the sound.  Consciousness slowly filtered back, and it took a second to register that it wasn’t a conversation she heard, but one voice.  Remy?

He was speaking softly, and he sounded different, worried and happy all at once.  What was he saying?

“I swear it to you, Harlow, if you give me a chance to be your Walker, I’ll prove that I deserve the honor of having you.”

Her body jostled.

“Come on, love, wake up!  We don’t have much time.”

Why didn’t they have much time?

“Bishop saw me bind you, so I know Mason’ll be coming soon, and I have so much to tell you.” 

Another jostle.

“Harlow?  Can you hear me?”

She wanted to go toward the sound of his voice, but something was holding her back. 
What is it?
  She knew she was supposed to remember something, but her body felt warm and safe in his arms.  He was brushing his lips against her temple now, telling her how glad he was that he’d finally found her, and that didn’t make sense.  She hadn’t been lost. Still, she didn’t want to move right now, didn’t want to wake up from this.

“Love, I’m going to have to fight your brother and every other Walker that knows of mine and Mason’s history.  All that on top of the war outside.  Please don’t make me fight you as well.  Come on, love.  Wake up!

You’re mine, Harlow.  And I’m yours.  I’m so fully fucking yours that I’d rip out my own heart just to prove it.  Just to gift it you.”

What in the hell was he talking about? 
Love?  Gift you my heart?
  Maybe she was dead?  She struggled to remember what had happened, and suddenly David taking her came rushing back.  Then she remembered Remy’s admission that he’d always wanted to use her to hurt Mason.  Finally, she remembered stalking away from him, only to have him grab her from behind and knock her out somehow.  She pushed for the surface of the grogginess weighing her down and made a weak sound.

“Harlow?”

He pressed his lips to hers, but she turned her head away from him as best she could with a croaked, “D-don’t.” She wanted to sit up, but couldn’t find the strength. When her eyes blinked slowly open, she frowned up at him from where her head was settled in his lap, her body relaxed on his bed. “What…what did you do to me?”

His voice was low, his eyes intent.  “I made you mine.”

“The hell you did.” She tried to roll off his lap.  “I’m pretty sure you need my permission for something like that.”  When he held her trapped on his lap, she lifted a hand, fingering the halo around her throat.
What the hell?

Remy caught her hand.  “Listen, love.”  He eyed the door nervously.  “I’m sorry it has to be like this, but you’ve gotta listen and you’ve gotta listen now.  Tyce and his team are on their way in to help us deal with the attack, and I’m positive Mason is scouring the estate for you. I’ve got to get my teams situated and find Monroe for assignment.  I want to come fully clean with you here, and I need you to listen.”  He didn’t wait for a response.  “Amanda and I dated once.  It was a while ago, when she first started working here at the estate.  In fact, I’m the one that got her the job here.  She ended up working for Mason, and things just happened.  They fell in love, and that was it.  I hated it.  I felt like Mason stole her from me, but that’s not really how it works with Walkers.  Someone is either your mate, or they’re not, but I couldn’t see that then.  All I saw was that Mason took something I thought I had a claim to.  To be honest, Mason taking her wasn’t even ever the issue.  It was the fact that she left me, that she gave me up as if I were insignificant.  I wanted to hate her for it, but I couldn’t.  I guess, deep down, I knew it wasn’t her fault.  Walker affliction is overwhelming.  She had no hope of withstanding Mason and his claim on her.

Still, I couldn’t let it rest, and that’s one hundred percent on me.  I couldn’t hurt Amanda, or even fault her for what happened, so I went after Mason.  More specifically, I went after the thing Mason loved the most besides Amanda.”

“Me?” she whispered.

He nodded.  “You.  Only I didn’t know you yet.  Mason was searching all over the damn world for you, and I had to do something.  I couldn’t just stay here and watch Amanda and Mason be happy, so I spied on the teams he sent out searching for you.  We thought we found you once in South America, but I learned the hard way that Aries Drago wasn’t you.”

“What did you do?”

“I kidnapped her.  Took her from Conn.  She got away from me, and was badly injured in a car accident trying to get back to Conn and that was the end of it for me.  I realized then that my obsession with getting back at Mason wasn’t just hurting me.  It nearly killed Aries. I gave up the search and came here to command the sentries when King moved to guarding the Dominants full time.”  His shoulders heaved as he looked away.  “I begged Aries’ forgiveness and she gave it, but none of them ever forgot.” He looked at her evenly. “And I don’t expect them to.  I deserve their disdain for what I’ve done, and I’ll carry it, but I want you to know that I had no intentions of ever hurting
you
.  That night we were together, I honestly had no idea who you were.  As for me getting any joy out of watching David bust you up…”  He shook his head.  “I nearly killed him, Harlow.  If Recker and Josef hadn’t pulled me off, he’d have died for laying hands on you.  Sweetheart, I didn’t know then what I know now.”  He brushed a hand over her cheek.  “I didn’t understand what Mason felt for Amanda.  I didn’t understand that love was worth fighting for until now.  Looking at you, feeling what I feel for you…I’m ready for war.”

Tears filled her eyes.  “What…what are you saying, Remy?”

He shook his head dejectedly. “I wish I had more time to do this right, to do it the way you deserve, but there’s just not time, baby.”

“Do what right?”

He slid out from under her, but she still felt sapped of energy and was only able to turn her head to watch as he stood in front of her before dropping to a knee and grabbing her hand.  He leveled her with a look of such significance that alarm flooded her.  Then he spoke.

  “I, Remy McCabe, take you, Harlow EnemyHunter, to be my friend, my lover, the mother of my children, my wife, my mate…my Angel.”

Shock tore through her.  “Wh…
what?
”

“I will be your strength in times of weakness, your want in times of need, your joy in times of sorrow.  I will sacrifice my health, my triumph, my hopes, and my desires to put your needs ahead of my own.  I promise to cherish and respect you, to care for you, and protect your life, and the lives of our children, with my very own.  I vow to comfort and encourage you, to guard and keep you, and to love you until my time in this world ends.”

She tried to pull her hand away.  “Stop!  Remy, stop!”

“You belong to me now, Harlow. 
Forever
!  And know this.  Whether you accept me or not, whether you want me or not, I vow to follow you to the ends of the Earth.  I vow to follow you until the last of my days, where I’ll be waiting, ready, ever hopeful of being claimed by you.  In this I will not falter.”  He dipped his head, his brows spearing down. “In the pursuit of you, I vow to be the most relentless creature on the face of the Earth.  I have never been known for being kind, loving or gentle.”  He studied her face. “You’ll be my first.  My last.”

His eyes dipped, and Harlow looked to see what held his attention. He lifted a large knife, one of the kind assigned to Sentries.  “I have no way to prove to you…”  He raised his eyes to hers. “There is no means for me to seal my vow without claiming your body, and I’ll not do that until you ask it of me.  So, I offer you my blood instead.”  He lifted his knife and tore it through the palm of his opposite hand even as Harlow opened her mouth to protest.  Lifting his bleeding hand, he fisted it and squeezed until blood dripped out, dripping onto the floor in a thin stream.  “Accept my blood vow to you, my Angel.  Ever yours.”

Harlow watched him with rounded eyes.  “You can’t mean that.  You can’t mean any of that.  You don’t
like
me.  Remember?”

Remy’s head jerked toward the door.  “You’re right, Harlow.  I don’t like you.  I love you.” Lightning fast, he hauled Harlow into his arms and turned his back on the door as it was kicked inward.  Harlow flinched and when she looked up, Remy was staring over his shoulder, snarling at whoever had just broken in.