Remember the Stars (4 page)

A mama’s boy
, Remy thought with a snicker. But on the other hand, he really, really wanted to see his own mother one more time. Their last meeting had been unpleasant, to say the least. The last thing she told him was to grow up.

“So what did you want?”

    “I wanted to get married and start a family right away. I wanted to stay home and raise my children and take care of my husband. Was that so bad? I mean, I know it’s not every woman’s choice these days, but it’s what I really wanted.”

A sharp pain hit him in the stomach as her admission stunned him into silence. So here it was, he thought silently. The right woman who would have put his life back together. The life he didn’t even know he wanted until tonight.

  Finally, he found his voice. “No, Leah, I don’t think that’s bad at all. As a matter of fact, I think it’s very, very good. As for your boyfriend, I think he’s a real jerk for not marrying you when he had the chance.”

“Remy?” she asked.

“Hmm?”

“Do you know how you...you wound up here?”

That much was burned into his memory. But could he admit the truth to Leah? Maybe if he told her, it would release some of the constant pain he felt. Still, admitting the truth was opening himself up to be judged—and he didn’t want to be judged anymore. The Fates had already been his judge, jury, and punisher.

Begin at the beginning
.

He actually heard the words in his head.

Inhaling deeply, he proceeded with caution.

“I need to start at the beginning, an explanation of things—not an excuse though.”

“Okay,” she said.

“I tried so hard not to be like my brothers. Not to be the zombie robots
who were born to follow in the footsteps of my grandfather and father. They grew up knowing their future was already pre-decided. They would go to mortuary school, graduate, get married to their high school sweethearts, and step into the family business. Job, marriage, buy a home, have babies…”

He paused and shook his head. It sounded so ludicrous coming out of his mouth. Yet, he had to continue.

“I slid through school. I showed no interest in the family business. I was constantly late to work. I angered my brothers and my parents. I was entitled, spoiled, selfish, and lazy. I argued and provoked.  I lied, cheated, used people for my own gain—I didn’t deserve all the things that had been given to me.”

He stopped again. He was making a god damned confession to a woman he barely knew, but now felt was his last chance at redemption.

“Go on, Remy,” she encouraged.

He closed his eyes. That voice. There was so much more to Leah.

“I had back surgery after a falling down drunken incident. The pain went away, but the Vicodin didn’t. Before I knew it, I was up to thirty a day just to function. I couldn’t—wouldn’t— admit I had a problem.”

He opened his eyes. He had to see Leah’s reaction. To his surprise, there was no judgment or disgust in her brown eyes; more a gentle contemplativeness. It gave him the courage to continue.

“I was driving one evening—it was a Saturday, I think. All I kept thinking was I needed another pill. I had to get another pill.  This car pulled up alongside me with a guy and a girl in it. I guess the guy was trying to show off for his girlfriend, and he kept trying to pull his piece of crap car in front of my Porsche. I guess he was egging me on, wanting to race.

Finally, I got so pissed off, I just hit the accelerator. The car jerked and took off, and I don’t know how exactly, but I lost control of it. The thing spun, then slid into a wall or something at such force I remember the car split in two and I saw bright white light followed by an impact, and it felt as though my head exploded. Then I woke up here.”

Twin streams of uncontrolled tears flowed from his eyes, a flood of finally-released sadness, anger, and fear.

He was so absorbed in his own sorrow, he didn’t realize Leah had left the bed until he felt her lips on his cheek, his forehead, and finally—his lips. He seized the opportunity to pull her onto his lap. His lips found her neck, and he savored her smell, her touch. Kissing a path along her jawline until his lips met with hers, he used his tongue to part her lips, anxious to taste her.

Getting to his feet, he carried her across the room and deposited her on the bed, his lips still locked on hers. His senses spun as his hands fumbled for the hemline of his T-shirt
that she wore and slid up over her hips, his fingers gliding along her silky smooth skin.

He needed more. But just as he began to slide the T-shirt
over her torso, a sound rang out that brought him squarely back to his senses.

Fate intervened.

                ***

  A tinny ring filled the air startling them..

“Is…is that the telephone?” Leah asked even though she already knew the answer. The ring came from the telephone on the bedside table.

Remy rolled over and reached for the receiver, but she grabbed ahold
of his arm.

    A sense of doom filled her. She was learning fast.  “Don’t answer it, Remy. It could be some kind of trick.”

He removed her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. A look of defeat crossed his handsome features. “I have to, Leah. If I don’t, it could make things worse for both of us.”

He lifted the receiver from the base and held it to his ear. His lips twitched, but he said nothing. After what seemed an eternity he placed the phone back on the receiver and got out of bed.

“Who was it, Remy? What did they want?”

When he didn’t answer, she asked again, “Who was it, Remy?”

He opened the dresser drawer and pulled out two pairs of socks. “We have to go now, Leah,” he said kneeling down beside the bed and placing the socks on her feet. “Two pairs since you have no shoes. The shirt will have to do.”

She captured his face in her hands and forced him to look at her. “Who was on the other end of that telephone?”

“I don’t know,” he said with a shrug of his shoulders. “All I do know, is I have to get you out of here.”

Fear ignited panic and Leah crawled back into bed. “I’m not going anywhere!”

    He slipped his feet into sneakers. “You have no choice, Leah.
We
have no choice.” His tone was ominous.

“Of course we have a choice. You said…you said it yourself that we’re safe in the flat.”

“That’s what I thought—until now.” He held out his hand to her. “Come on, Leah, we have to go.”

“I don’t want to go,” she stressed.

“I know you don’t.  I believe that. But we have no choice. Now come,” he insisted and held out his hand.

When she wouldn’t take his hand, he reached for hers and jerked her to her feet. Wordlessly, he pulled her along, out of the flat, down the stairs, and outside the front door. He didn’t bother to lock it.

“Lock the door, Remy. Keep the flat safe.”

I don’t care what happens to me any longer, Leah.” Anger permeated his tone.  “You were sent as a tease. A dirty little joke by the Fates who are now taking you back!” he hissed.

“Remy, what are you talking about?” she demanded.

He didn’t answer, but merely pulled her along up the sidewalk while she struggled against it.

Finally, when they arrived at the hospital, he stopped.

“Here?” she asked with disbelief.

He turned to her and smoothed her hair back from her face. “It’s going to be okay now.”

“How?” she asked as a tear slipped down her face. How can it ever be better?”

A small smile crossed his handsome features. “It will, trust me.”

Nothing made sense. As she tried to comprehend what he was saying, she realized he was leading her up to the large glass double entrance doors to the hospital. What if he was taking her there for someone to torture her? Maybe autopsy her alive? As her mind raced, she made one futile attempt to escape, but he held her firmly.

They passed through the doors and the empty reception area. The same weird lighting in the flat glowed dimly from above, illuminating the waiting room chairs and out-dated linoleum.

“We can’t take the elevator; it’s probably a death trap.”

She barely heard him as he led her to
a stairwell. As he pulled her up the steps, her legs turned into Jell-O. He looped an arm around her back and pulled her against him. “Just a little further, Leah. This will all be over soon.”

She clutched at his waist and suppressed a sob. This nightmare was never going to be over.

At the top of the stairwell, they crossed a long hallway, and he came to a stop before a huge glass window. “We’re here,” he announced.

Still clutching him tightly, Leah forced herself to look through the glass. She tilted her head with disbelief. It looked like a scene from a movie. She let go of Remy’s waist and placed her hands on the cool glass.

It was an intensive care room. A bed with towering machines blinking around an unrecognizable patient swaddled in bandages. Then she saw them: her parents and Logan! What a glorious site. With her fists tightly clenched
, she pounded on the glass trying to get their attention.

“Mom! Mom!” she shrieked, but to no avail.

“They can’t hear you, Love,” Remy said placing a kiss on top of her head.

Leah swallowed hard. “Is—is that me?”

“It is you, Leah. It’s real time in there.”

She stared at the figure in the bed. “Oh, God…look at me.” She watched as Logan lifted her limp hand into his. Something on his finger caught her eye. “What is that on my finger?”

Remy peered through the glass. “I would guess that is the engagement ring you always wanted.

The ring became clear in her vision. Her fingers were so swollen and misshapen that the ring sat on top of her first knuckle. As she watched the surreal scene of her life, it suddenly all became clear.

“I was so angry at Logan that I ran out of his apartment and into the street without thinking. I remember silver metal and lights bearing down on me before everything went black. It was my entire fault.”

“So that was it. A car accident,” Remy whispered.

She turned to Remy and took his hands. “What now?”

“Go home, Leah.”

Joy filled her soul. “I can go back now?”

He smiled, but there was no happiness in his expression. “Yes, it’s time to go.”

But her joy was short-lived
as she looked back at her motionless body and the machines
keeping her alive. “What kind of life will I have?” she asked.

“There are no answers in life, Leah, you know that. At least none that I can answer.”

“What if I’m like that forever?”

“It’s the chance you have to take.”

She watched Logan’s face. He was devastated, it was clear. Yet she couldn’t shake the thought that the engagement ring was his guilt, and she didn’t want to marry him as a result of guilt.

Then her thoughts turned to Remy. If she went back to her life, she would be leaving him alone forever.  “Remy, I’m not leaving you here.”

He squeezed her hands gently. “I’ll be fine, you need to go now.” He said the words, but she didn’t believe him.

She gritted
her teeth.
How dare Fate put her in this impossible situation
?

“Remy, I can’t leave you without knowing if the two of us were meant to be together. That if you hadn’t had your accident we would have eventually met. At a gallery opening, our eyes might have met. Or at a café over coffee? Or a freaking hockey game. Who knows?”

“If that is true, Leah, then I destroyed us. I destroyed our happiness, I deprived us of the children we should have had. Be angry with me!”

“Angry with you?” She threw her arms around his neck and pulled him close. “I…I love you. I can’t leave you. I belong with you.” She knew it was true.

“And because I love you, I’m sending you back. There, you have a chance. Here, you have nothing but fear and uncertainty, and that simply cannot be.”

Suddenly, she wondered if she could have it both ways. She let go of him and looked back at her parents. “If I return, I can still come and see you when I’m up and around again. I can sit with you.”

A frown lengthened his face. “Oh no, Leah. I don’t want you to see me in real life. I’m not—the man I was.”

“Of course not; you’re so much better now.”

He chuckled. “No, no, Love. I mean, I don’t look like myself anymore. I’m just a brittle shell of a human being. I’m just a broken body; my soul isn’t there.”

“But—” she tried to interrupt.

He placed a gentle finger on her lips to silence her and stared into her eyes. “Besides, you won’t remember any of this night.”

“I’ll remember,” she vowed. “Every time I see the stars, I’ll remember us.”

He held her face between his palms and simply stared. “Let me memorize your face.” He kissed her just then and she swelled with his soul. Of course, she would remember. Her eyes closed. “Now what?” she asked against his lips.

“Say goodbye.”

When she opened her eyes, he was gone. All that remained was a chilling wind. “Remy!” she screamed, her voice echoing off the hollowness of the walls. An overwhelming sense of urgency came over her, telling her it was time to go. It was now, or never. If she crossed into the room, she lived; if she stayed back, she died.

But where
would she go? This place…this place wasn’t death
.

She looked back at her parents. How they would miss her if she died, how she would miss them!

And Logan.

Logan would go on with his life. Eventually.

She crossed her arms across her breasts and smiled.

The choice was made.

             ***

She ran down the main street toward the funeral home as fast
as her legs could carry her. With each stride she felt the pain and fear peel away only to be replaced by strength and resolve. No one and nothing would stop her from getting back to Remy now.

But as she caught first sight of the funeral home, she heard an anguished, tormented scream into the darkness.

It was Remy!

She crossed the final street and leapt onto the sidewalk. Grabbing the door handle, she found that it
wouldn’t budge. If she needed to, she’d kick the door in to get to him. But with another yank, the door
finally opened, in the process nearly knocking her back into the street. Was this the Fate’s final attempt to keep them apart? If so, she wouldn’t let anything stop her.

Locking the door behind her, she hurried up the stairs to the flat and threw open the door.

Remy stood
in the middle of the bedroom with a baseball bat in his hands. There was a wildness in his eyes that frightened her.

“It’s me, it’s me!” she stressed to him as she cautiously walked to him and took the bat from his hands and tossed it aside.

“Why are you here?” he demanded. “I sent you home. Why are you here?”

Leah was puzzled. Wasn’t he happy to see her?

“Remy, I’m not leaving you. We’re meant to be together. Don’t you realize that?”

His expression softened.  “Sweet, sweet Leah. Don’t you know what you’ve done? You’re stuck here now with me forever.”

She reached up and removed the elastic from his long red hair.

“Of course I know that, silly boy. This is where I’m supposed to be.” She removed the socks from her feet and peeled off her T-shirt, standing
naked before him. “Now stop thinking and love me. Come to me, I’m waiting.” Her voice was thick with desire.