Remember Me - Regency Brides 03 (10 page)

Nothing else mattered.

~

All through North's sermon, Helen couldn't help feeling responsible for putting him through the whole tedious ordeal. She felt such admiration for him because, even though he didn't know what he was doing, he was wil ing to give it his best efforts. In fact, Helen realized now that she hadn't real y known North at al back in England. She had only been taken with his good looks and charming ways.

She had never seen. the giving, carrying person who was nervous about public speaking and so determined to do what he thought was right-to be the man everybody thought he was even though he didn't feel like Hamish Campbel .

He was truly a good, decent man. A wonderful Christian man.

She didn't deserve him, but she couldn't tel him that. She couldn't tel him any of the truths she, and only she, knew to be true, because it would not only hurt him but everyone she respected in Golden Bay.

Helen felt terrible she had let things go this far. When she first thought of lying to him, she never stopped to consider the consequences. All of her reasoning was based on herself.

Now all she thought of was North. Every night she prayed not that God would forgive her but that. He'd help her find a way of helping North get his memory back without hurting him too much in the process.

Unfortunately it sounded like an insurmountable task.

"Al right, ladies. you are being too quiet, and Josie keeps smiling politely at me as if she's been instructed to do so," North said suddenly, breaking the long silence as they rode toward Golden Bay plantation. "Why don't you just give me your honest opinions? Trust me, it could be no worse than what I have already thought of myself."

"Wel ..." She hesitated, desperately trying to think of something positive to say.

"You have a very nice voice for speaking. It's deep and very pleasant to listen to."

North threw her a look that told her he knew she was evading the question.

"Wonderful! I read swiftly, and I have a pleasant voice. Anything else?"

"You could use some practice," Josie told him bluntly, making Helen groan with embarrassment. "Wel , it is the truth, and that is what he asked for isn't it?" she tried to reason after Helen glared at her.

"Josie, don't you remember our lesson on tact?" Helen stressed, then threw North an apologetic smile. "A lady does not voice every thought that pops into her mind!"

"Please don't scold, Helen," North interjected. "She is quite right. I do need practice."

Helen thought a minute about how the Reverend Wakelin prepared for his sermons. "If you start writing it tomorrow, perhaps by the time the week rol s by, It will become familiar to you. Perhaps it wil help take away your nervousness and gIve you more confidence."

"Yes! And then you can practice your sermon on us!" Josie added excitedly. "We shal be your congregation, preparing you for the real one on Sunday."

North looked over at Helen, and she found herself moved by the appreciation that was radiating from his beautiful blue eyes. Her heart ached with al the love and affection that seemed to grow each time she was in his presence. There was a hope inside her that stil refused to die.

A hope he might could love her and desire to marry her.

"Would you mind doing as Josie has suggested?" he asked, stil holding her gaze as if he, too, could not look away. I wouldn't want to bring a conflict between you and your employers."

"Oh, don't worry about that," Josie answered before Helen could speak.

"Mama has been hinting around to Helen that you would make her a good husband." Josie ignored Helen's horrified gasp. "I know she wil agree to let us visit you."

With a face she knew was flaming red, Helen watched North's expression to gauge his reaction. She was relieved when he appeared to be happy with that news.

Helen's gaze slowly lowered to Josie, and she saw the young girl looking at her with a sheepish expression. "I'm in quite a lot of trouble, aren't I?" she whispered in an apologetic voice.

"You can be assured of it," Helen whispered back as they entered the main yard of the plantation.

Helen scanned the lawn and noticed for the second time just how many young women were in attendance. Most of them she'd never seen before this day.

And when the sound of the carriage drew everyone's attention, every single female smiled and began to walk straight for the barouche.

There was only one word running through Helen's mind, and it wasn't a nice one.

Competition!

"Hel o, Reverend Campbel !" said the one with the huge blue bonnet decorated with lighter blue flowers.

' Yoo-hoo! Over here, Reverend," said the brunette in the bright yel ow dress.

"I truly enjoyed your sermon this morning," said the one with the light blond hair as she fluttered her eyelids.

What a liar!
Helen thought mean-spiritedly, her mood darkening with each little shril giggle. He had barely handed Josie and Helen down from the barouche before the ladies surrounded him, al giving North one simpering compliment after the other.

North looked a little dazed, as he appeared to be trying to make sense of their words, since they were talking al at once. Helen and Josie were both wearing frowns as they watched him being led from them over to where the table of food was set.

"It's like watching a bunch of crabs al trying to grab hold of a baited string at one time," Josie commented. Since Helen had no idea what she was talking about, she would have to take the younger girl's word for it.

"He's certainly not fighting off their attentions," she observed but then felt petty for voicing it aloud.

"I think he's just overwhelmed!"

"Hmm." Helen sounded skeptical as she continued to watch North. They were actual y preparing him a plate of food, each one adding to it. They were creating a smal mountain not even three men could possibly eat.

"Girls! You've lost
him!"
Imogene cried for their ears only as she came running hurriedly up to them. "Helen, you must do something!"

She had to be joking! "Mrs. Baumgartner, what can I possibly do? He doesn't seem to mind the attention," Helen told her, and again she heard the jealousy in her tone.

Imogene waved her hand as if to refute her words. "Of course he does." She sucked in a loud breath. "Did you see that?" she asked excitedly as she pointed in North's direction. "He's looking around … See! He looks like he needs rescuing! So
go!"

All Helen saw was North looking at the pile of food on his plate with something akin to horror and then peering around for a place to sit. That was quickly resolved for him when the blue-bonnet girl led him to an empty table. "I'm going 1'0 get something to eat," Helen said instead of responding to Imogene's urgings.

Determinedly she began to walk toward the table of food.

"But, Helen!" Imogene pleaded after her. Stil , Helen doggedly kept walking. It took a lot of wil power not to look at North when she-passed his table, which was now occupied by al the ladies.

"Helen!" She thought she heard him cal , but it could have only been her wishful thinking.

These women were ridiculous in their behavior, Helen observed as she heard them giggle and chatter. In England, never would a girl go up to a man she hadn't been introduced to and speak to him.

It was too bad North wouldn't remember that!
Or maybe he did,
she amended her thoughts, as she plopped the food on her plate without real y paying attention to what she was getting. She found a table on the other side of the lawn from where North sat with his admirers.

When she realized she had scooped a large amount of col ard greens onto her plate, a vegetable that was her least favorite food, she sighed and pushed her plate away. She real y wasn't hungry anyway.

She was jealous, and it was sil y to feel that way, real y. Everyone believed North to be their clergyman and wanted to know him better. And since there was quite a shortage of young, marriageable men in the area, they probably al had higher hopes they could know him
much
better.

"'It isn't ladylike to pout!'" Josie quoted, as she sat beside her while placing her plate of food on the table. Helen could tel Josie had managed to fil her plate without her mother looking on, for
it
was fil ed with slices of cake and pie. " 'It puts one's face in an unattractive position and causes tiny lines to form between one's eyes. . . . " She paused from her speech, in which she used an exaggerated English accent, and thought a moment. "Or was the 'lines between the eyes' thing for when one is jealous
and
angry?"

Helen sighed. "I suppose I have become a bit fond of North." She nibbled on a piece of bread and then noticed the boiled crawfish on her plate.
How did that
nasty little creature
get there?
She could never understand how civilized people could get so much enjoyment out of cracking open the outer shel s and biting the meat out of the tail with their teeth.

She knew ladies of London's society who would faint dead away at the sight of such a spectacle.

"I may be only thirteen, but I am not blind, Helen. I could tel you were in love with him the moment you realized who he was on that first day. Even Mother agrees."

She spoke like a woman of twenty! "You are too young to know what love is,"

Helen countered as she careful y picked up the crawfish by one of its pinchers and tossed it onto Josie's plate. "Oh, thank you!" Josie automatical y responded.

And just as Helen knew she would, she cracked and peeled the shel fish in no time at al . Helen shuddered.

"I do know about love." Josie picked up the conversation after she had wiped her hands on her cloth napkin. "My father left behind a title and his father's riches because he loved my mother. One day I'l find love like that."

She sighed dreamily as she said this, and Helen didn't remind her of her earlier statement about not even liking boys. Helen also didn't mention the fact that Josie's father wasn't exactly poor after he was disinherited, either. She wondered if he'd have married Imogene if there had been no inheritance from his mother and if they'd had to start from nothing. She looked across the lawn and saw Robert walk by his wife at that moment. Before continuing to where his friends were standing, he put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it. A sweet gesture.

Perhaps he would have married her no matter what.

"I hope you wil find true love, Josie," Helen said instead as she final y allowed her gaze to settle on North. Shea was startled to see him staring straight at her.

She glanced around him and noticed there were other people besides the young women around him now. North smiled at her, then looked back to the man on his right who appeared to be speaking to him.

Helen sighed dreamily, already forgetting her earlier jealousy. That smile from North had undone al the hurt she'd felt over being pushed out of the way by the other girls. It was then she became aware that the blond girl with the fluttery eyes was stil sitting next to him. North was looking at her, and she seemed to be tel ing him something. Suddenly Helen was struck by a horrible thought. What if North fel in love WIth someone else? Not only would it make Helen terribly sad, but it could also spel disaster If North got his memory back! If he fel in love with any of these young ladies and even married one of them he could wake up one day and realize his whole life was a lie. He and his future wife would be devastated. It would be more disastrous than if he married Helen. Steps had to be taken to ensure this did not happen! She was going to have to embarrass herself, there was just no other way about It!

"I'l be right back!" she told Josie as she jumped up from her chair, then al but ran over to where North was sitting ... stil talking to
Blondie!

What do I say? What do I do?
she asked herself over and over as she drew nearer to him. It had to be some reasonable excuse to pul him away from his table and from
her!

"Uh...Reverend...uh...Campbel !" she stuttered as she tried to catch her breath and remember what to cal him. "I. . . uh..."

She drew a complete blank. She glanced about the table and noticed every eye was on her, curious as to what she was about to say.

"Uh . .." Nothing. She wondered if this was how North felt this morning when he was trying to deliver his sermon. Her eyes strayed to the blond, and there was a certain smirk about her rosy lips that suggested she knew what Helen was up to.

"What's wrong, Miss Nichols?" North asked, his tone more questioning than concerned.

"Uh..." She stal ed again. She glanced at the blond again and noticed she was back fluttering her eyes at North, trying to get his attention. It was the eye-fluttering thing that inspired her. She began to bat only one of her eyes. "My eye!"

Batting one eye was not an easy thing to do. "I believe there is something in it."

North looked at her with a somewhat bemused expression. "It looked fine just a moment ago."

"It comes and goes," she answered quickly, realizing how ridiculous she sounded. But since she had begun the ruse, she might as wel finish it. "Would you mind stepping over there in the sunlight and looking at it for me?" She pointed to a spot far from the shaded area they were seated in.

"Pardon me, but might I be of some help?" the man beside North questioned, final y bringing al the attention off Helen and onto him. "I am Dr. Giles. I have a practice in New Orleans but I come through Golden Bay every month to check on everyone here. Why don't I take a look at it?"