Remember Me (21 page)

Megan didn’t get it. She didn’t understand the connection that I felt I had with Ash. She didn’t understand that I needed it to be real.
“She’s here you know. She’s here in this hospital.”

Megan looked down. “Yeah, I know. I kind of figured that so I went to the information desk and asked. I figured that I could use that information to get you to see that you had a reason to fight for you
r life.”

“You don’t need to drill it in my head. That’s what I’m tryin’ to tell ya. She already told me. Believe me or don’t, it’s your choice, but I heard her loud and clear.”

Megan put her hands up. “Whatever helps you, Shayne. Are you ready to go, or do you need to wait?”

I walked over and hugged her, catching her off guard. “Thank you for savin’ my life, Megan. I’m glad I got to spend time with you tonight, even if it ended up the way it did. You helped me, probably more than you’ll ever know.”

When I pulled away she was looking right into my eyes. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

I nodded. “I’m going to
be fine, but I’m not goin’ to be needin’ a ride tonight. I’m goin’ to stay here with Ash.”

“Are you allowed to do that?”

I shrugged. “Probably not, but they won’t say anything. They know who I am, and what she means to me. Besides, she’s in a room by herself and the door stays shut the whole night. They probably won’t even notice I’m there.”

Megan said her goodbyes and left me there in the emergency room. Since I was already in the hospital, with a band around my wrist, I didn’t have to check in with the front desk. Instead I used the internal elevators to take me up to her floor. The nighttime nurse wasn’t at her station, making it easy for me to slip into Ash’s room unspotted.

From the moment I saw her lying there, I knew I was right where I was supposed to be. I approached the bed and leaned down to kiss her warm skin. She was sleeping soundly and I wondered if they had her on some kind of medication to help her to relax. Since waking up, she’d been under so much stress. I kept my voice low, hoping not to wake her. Even with her sleeping, I knew there were things I had to say. She may not remember our love, but I had to be able to express my sincere devotion to our future. “I’m sorry for what happened tonight. Ash, maybe I’m goin’ crazy, but if that was really you tonight, somehow there with me when I needed you the most, thank you. You saved my life and I promise that I’ll find a way to get us through this. I’ll find a way to get the twins back and we’ll be waiting for you when you wake up. Nothin’s goin’ to keep us apart, Ash. I promise. I just need you to come back to me. Please, baby. I need you so much,” I whispered.

Although she
never responded, I couldn’t remember feeling as close to her as I did in that very moment. I couldn’t explain it, and maybe I’d never be able to, but I knew that we were connected, not just physically, but somehow spiritually as well.

Chapter 27

Shayne

I wo
ke up in a chair across from where Ash’s bed had been, except it wasn’t there. A security officer was standing over me with his hands on his hips. After sitting up straight I looked around to see Ash’s father on the opposite side of the room. My body must have been so exhausted that I’d slept through him arriving and the nurse taking her out for tests.

“
Sir, you’re going to need to come with me.”

I looked at Mr. Tilly. “Why? What did I do?”

He never looked my way. “Make sure he doesn’t come back in here again.”

Instead of listening and leaving quietly, I walked
over and got in his face. “I have every right to be here with her.”

“No, you don’t.”

“You can’t keep her away from me.”

“Shayne, you may think you know what you want, but you’ll never be anywhere near good enough for my daughter, especially after last night. You may have fooled the ER doctor, but you aren’t fooling me. There is no way I’d ever let someone as unstable as you around my daughter or my grandchildren. Whatever you’re thinking, it’s not going to work. Go home, Shayne. It’s over. Last night gave me everything I need to make sure you never come near my family again. Don’t make me take this to court. You won’t win and you know it. I’ve got so much against you.
You really don’t want to get more on my bad side.”

Anger was building inside of me. How he knew why I’d been in the hospital was a whole different issue. What bothered me most was that he was planning on using it against me, to prevent me from ever having anything to do with the twins or their mother.

“Fuck you! Your threats mean nothin’ to me. You can’t tell me what to do.”

“The hell I can’t. Boy, don’t make me take this to another level.”

“Don’t you stand there and threaten me. I ain’t afraid of you, or your friends. Your daughter chose me. She wants me here.”

“My daughter hasn’t said what she’s wanted for a long time now. She doesn’t get to make that choice anymore.” He pointed to the security guards. “For the last time, get this piece of shit out of here.”

“You’re goin’ to regret this. When she finds out, she’s goin’ to hate you for keepin’ us apart.”

He didn’t answer as they escorted me out of the room. When we got to the elevator they shoved me towards it. “Do us a favor and don’t come back. The patients on this level don’t like having to hear all this. Be courteous and keep your distance.”

I waited for a couple minutes before taking the stairs back up to the floor Ashley was on. If he thought he was going to scare me, he had another thing coming. I wasn’t going to let him or anyone else keep me from Ash. The faster she recovered, the quicker I could get the twins back. Without Ash, I didn’t have a chance.

My second attempt
at sneaking into her room were a huge failure. One of the security guards spotted me coming out of the stairway. He approached me and I lifted my hands surrendering my efforts. “You can’t blame a guy for tryin’.”

Out of the corner of my eyes I
noticed Mr. Tilly. He was pointed towards me and talking to Ashley’s doctor. I knew in that moment that he was telling them that I was no longer permitted to visit with his daughter.

I had no idea of
the extent he was about to take things, nor was I prepared for how it was going to be a major setback to my new outlook on life.

The police met me on the first floor, accompanied by the missing security guard from upstairs. I knew they were waiting for me, and regretted making a
second attempt at telling Ash’s dad where to go. He wasn’t just threatening me. The man was making it known that he was willing to go to extreme measures to keep me away from his daughter.

The only good thing was that I ended up getting a ride back to my car at the beach, along with a
promise that if I tried to visit Ashley for any reason, they’d take me jail.

By the time I went home there was a off-duty deputy at my door, serving me with papers stating that I had to stay away from Ashley.  He’d had a judge write up a protection order, like I was a threat to his daughter.

Suddenly everything I’d done the night before almost seemed like it had been a good idea after all. As much as I wanted my future with Ashley, the more I thought about it, the more I knew he’d never let it happen.
If I’d died, at least I wouldn’t have to go through the constant pain that I was dealing with.

Since drowning myself in the ocean didn’t work, and my body still felt like it had been beat up, I made myself a few stiff drinks and sat alone in my kitchen drinking them. As embarrassing as it was, I broke down a few times knowing that there was little I could do to rectify my situation. I’d made so many sacrifices with all good intentions and that son-of-a-bitch was keeping me away from supporting his daughter.

It was bullshit.

When I’d run out of rum, I got up from the kitchen table and walked upstairs. Seeing the bright colors of the
twin’s room caught my attention. As much as it hurt, I found myself walking toward my little boy’s room.

I missed his smile so much and the way his eyes reminded me of his mothers.

I looked around his room, touching a picture of the four of us that I’d hung on the wall the day after I’d finished painting. I couldn’t wait for Ash to see how I’d decorated both of them the way she’d talked about. As a matter of fact, I’d decorated almost everything in the house so far according to how she wanted it.

Sadness filled my heart when I thought about it all being for nothing.

I didn’t know if she’d ever recover, and if she did, I didn’t know if she’d remember me. With her father keeping us apart, there was little I could do to change things. It was a brutal reality from the optimism I had when I woke up that morning.

I spent the rest of the night in Eli’s room, looking around at the open, empty drawers and thinking about how many times I’d changed him, fed him, promised to love him forever. Going into Beka’s room was out of the question. That little girl had such a
strong hold on my heart that I knew I couldn’t bear it.

I sat there in misery until the sun started to come up that next morning. Time had gotten away from me as my mind had completely gone into shock.

When I didn’t call or show up for the work Ford took it upon himself to come check on me, after calling my phone until the battery shut it off. He knocked on the door three times before coming in through the back.
“Shayne? You in here?”

I brought my legs up to my chest, but didn’t get up from Eli’s carpeted floor. “I’m up here.”

Ford talked as he started walking up the steps. “Dude, I’ve been callin’ you for hours.” He froze when he walked into the room and saw the drawers hanging out and most of Eli’s belonging gone. The look on his face told me that he already knew why I hadn’t showed up for work.

“Yeah, so they’re gone. Everyone knows the truth.”

He looked away and said something under his breath before turning his undivided attention back to me. “Did you want this?”

“Fuck no! How could you even ask me that?”

“What the hell happened?”

I shook my head, but couldn’t look at him when I spoke. My eyes burned as if I’d gotten a chemical in them. I’d cried more in one night than I’d cried in my whole life. I hadn’t just lost my girlfriend and the hope of having a future with her, I’d lost my kids, after I’d promised to be
the best daddy in the world. “They’re gone, Ford. They’re all gone. It’s all gone, man.”

My rambles must have made him realize that I couldn’t talk about
it without getting choked up. He pulled out his phone and dialed a number. “Hey, it’s me. Look I’ve got a family emergency and won’t be back in today. Can you forward my calls to this phone and cancel my three o’clock?”

Hearing him cancelling his schedule to be with me made me feel worse. I was so pathetic that he was refusing to leave my side. “You don’t have to do that. I’m fine.”

He put his phone away and held out his hand. “Get up, Shayne. Get your ass in the shower while I go make some coffee. You’ve worked too hard to let your life go to hell.”

Not wanting to get on his bad side, I walked into my bathroom and did as he said. When the hot water pounded down over my head so did the events of the night before. I replayed everything they’d said to me. I watched my children being put into that vehicle, but refused to do anything about it. “I should have fought for them.” I pounded my fist on the shower wall, cracking a piece of tile. I’d been working so hard to fix up the place just to destroy it from stupidity. It had become apparent that I was just as mad at myself as I was with the rest of the world.

After taking out my anger on my fist, I got dressed and went downstairs to look for some ice. Ford was sitting at the table looking down at his phone. He was aware that I was in the room, but said nothing as I made a cup of coffee and attended to my hand. I sat down across from him, determined to find out what his intentions were, because I wasn’t in the mood to be dicked around. “So, what’s up?”

“You tell me.”

I looked down at my coffee. “I just don’t care about nothin’ anymore. Everything I ever wanted is gone. It’s all fuckin’ gone,” I repeated.

“You and I both know it ain’t gone. Shayne, wake the hell up and look at what you’re doin’ to yourself. Ash is alive, cuz. She’s fuckin’ breathin’. Do you know how amazin’ that is? She survived an aneurism in her damn head. Sure, she’s goin’ to need time to recover, but she will. There’s no way a woman like that could
permanently forget what you’ve done for her. There’s no way in hell.”

“Well, I can
’t visit her anymore, since her dad put out a protective order against me. Besides, I hate seein’ the way she looks at me like I’m a stranger. They’re releasing her to her parents, which means it will be even harder for me to reconnect with her.”

“What about you
and the twins? Don’t you want to fight for them?”

“Don’t ask me dumb questions. You know I do, but I also can’t keep them away from Ash. If she’s going to be at her parents, then they need to be with her. She’ll be scared, but make it through it because she has them. W
hen she’s ready they’ll tell her that she’s their mother. Maybe one day she’ll regain her memories. It’s just ain’t goin’ to be any time soon. Hell, all she knows right now is how much you mean to her.”