R.E.M.: The Hidden World (5 page)

7.
Alone

The forest su
rrounding Renee glistened with the sparkle of a newborn child. Its branches and mossy floor refreshed by the morning dew, still resting in slumber.  Everything was perfect, absolute perfection for a sheer moment.  Then arose a question. 

How did I get here? 
Renee’s mind felt foggy.  The lack of clarity increased as a wave of pain jolted through her head.  Her fingertips reached toward the source and met an unpleasant discovery.   There, on the tip of her temple, rested a giant whelp. 
What happened?
Calm down Renee, examine your surroundings. 
At least her father did done something right; he always enforced that she be on guard and aware of her environment.  Renee leaned up, her bottom still resting against soft ground. She scanned the moist forest.  It was fairly standard as far as woods are concerned.  Giant trees looked over her, their branches interlocking in an epic battle for the sun’s nourishing embrace.  They stretched on for what seemed like an eternity. 

Oh no, Sam! 
The thought interrupted all others. 
He was right beside me and then…..then what?! 
She struggled to regain lost thoughts.  Her eyes scanned the entire area. 
We started jogging through the woods and everything was fine
…..
but then…then what? 
There was no sign of her lost friend anywhere.  Trees surrounded her on all sides.  Their autumn colors and scattered fallen leaves seemed to imply death was in the air. 
Oh God…what if the stories were right….what if something took him?
 

R
ealizing the seriousness of her situation, Renee's entire body began to shake and she gave way to tears that longed to pour. 
What have I done? I should’ve never left home…
“God, if you’re really up there, please help me….I just want my mom!” 

Snap!

“Who’s there?”  Renee was immediately defensive, ceasing the tears from their release.  She quickly stood to her feet and armed herself with a nearby branch.  A few feet away, a rustling sound arose from the bushes.  Renee braced, grasping the branch like a sword and facing the unknown source of the noise.  Her imagination began to run wild.  Perhaps the woman whose voice created their argument took Sam. 
What if I'm next?
 
It's also possible that Sam is still somewhere close by....maybe even unconscious.
  Of course if the noise wasn't Sam then Renee was likely about to face some form of wild beast.  Somehow despite her worries, Renee suddenly felt invincible.  Perhaps the cause of this sensation was directly related to Sam.  After all, if something happened to him, Renee’s would be the only one who could save him.  Her own well being was instantaneously irrelevant.  With that line of thought in place, Renee believed she was prepared for anything. 

A
small cardinal then leaped out of the bushes.  "Whew!  It was just a bird."  The cardinal's feathers were a vibrant red that contrasted brilliantly with the brown and green forest palate.  He landed ever-so-delicately on a nearby branch and turned so he was facing her directly.  His demure was unlike any ordinary bird.  He did not ruffle his feathers, or rapidly scan the forest chirping.  Instead, for several moments, the little winged creature simply stood on his branch and stared Renee’s direction. 

I must be losing my mind….is he actually looking right at me? Wait, there’s no way…
As the thought passed through her mind, the cardinal released a loud whistle.  The small creature then made one of the strangest of movements.  Still staring at her, he lifted one wing in an almost wave-like motion. 
Did he just wave at me?

Next, the bird set flight and flew to another branch about ten feet away.  He landed and once again turned toward Renee lifting his wing in a wave-like manner.  This time, however, he remained there staring at her for several seconds as though waiting for a reaction. 
I guess he wants me to follow him…
Renee realized how preposterous the idea of following a bird was.  However, she also knew she shouldn’t possibly stay there and continue crying.  Besides, she needed to find Sam. 
Well, what do I have left to lose anyway?

S
he lifted a foot from its muddy stance and proceeded to approach her new feathered friend.  When she was within a few feet of him, the bird moved to another branch, just slightly further into….
or was it out of....
the woods.  This process continued on for some time with the bird consistently flying to neighboring branches, and then waiting for Renee to follow.

During this process, Renee’s mind began to wander and she randomly felt the desire to start talking to her animal friend.  “You know, my mom and I recently started coming out into the woods to bike.  Of course I suppose you don’t know what a bike is, huh?”  The cardinal’s only
response was to fly to another nearby branch.  Renee continued on, undeterred.  “It’s a metal contraption with wheels…..I suppose you don’t know what wheels are either, huh?  Well, anyway, the last time she and I went biking, we weren’t in this section of the woods.  We were on the northern trail….too bad there isn’t a trail here…then you wouldn’t even need to lead me…..leading…..oh dear….”  Renee’s eyes started to water up again as she considered the fact she had been the one leading Sam. 

This time the cardinal rested on his chosen branch for quite some time, as though intrigued by her tale.  It was not until Renee was a foot away that he finally flew to another tree.  Renee felt the breeze off his wings this time.  Somehow, despite the autumn chill, it was comforting in a way.  Her tears lessened and she continued with her monologue.  “I’m sorry….it’s just, you see, it was my idea to run away.  I was even the one who decided on the direction.  Sam, he was just being a good friend.  He was worried about me and that’s the only reason he followed me in the first place.  Everything was fine though.  I really don’t even understand what happened.  I’ve…I’ve lost my memory it seems.  Perhaps I’ve lost my mind too.  This morning I just woke up with this giant bump on my head.  I don’t even remember falling asleep or the last moment I saw Sam.  Yesterday he was just there and now….well, now he’s not.  I have to find him little guy….”  Renee looked up
at the cardinal who was tilting his head down towards her in an almost sad posture, the branch he landed on still waivered under his unexpected weight.  With her rant at a seeming end, the cardinal set flight again toward another tree.

They
continued on for what seemed like hours with the wind intermittently tickling Renee’s face.  She constantly adjusted her flying hair from blocking her view.  The sunlight peeped through the tree branches, as though just enough to reassure her of its presence.  Renee’s hearing was now heightened as a large pile of leaves crunched under her shoes.  The sound drew her attention to a new concern at hand.  It was just now she realized the pain in her feet.  They silently screamed at her with an aching sensation that shot up her legs.  “Little guy, I think I need a break….”  As she spoke the words, Renee’s eyes caught sight of a nearby stone and her body willingly plopped onto its welcoming surface. 

As though in an instant panic, the bird flew around her and began rapidly flapping his wings within inches from her face……“Ugh! What’s your problem?!”  She waved her arms in the air, trying to shoo the bird away.  Then she realized the cause of his outburst. 

The surface Renee just sat upon started moving.  Between her feet, a wrinkled, rough turtle head birthed itself.  The turtle’s eyes stared up at her with a furious hatred.  “Oh dear!  I’m so sorry.”  Renee rushed off the surface, standing back onto her feet in an instant. 
Wait, why am I apologizing to an animal? It’s not like he can actually hear…
As though he read her mind, the turtle’s eyes softened and his lips seemed to move ever so slightly upward in the shape of a smile. 
No way!...Then again…I have been talking to a bird and following his every direction…..

T
he cardinal seemed to be growing impatience, flapping one of his wings in an overly insistent wave.  “Okay, okay, I’m coming.”  Renee continued onward following her winged guide and reinitiating her rant.  “You know as bad as this all is….as long as I…well we…can find Sam, I won’t regret my choice to run away.  You see my father….well, he’s a total jerk.  Ah, it’s nice to say that out loud.”  Renee took a breath at the word; it was somehow enthralling to say.  “Jerk, jerk, jerk.  Ha!  You see, all my father really cares about is his rules.  Don’t do this, Renee.  How dare you speak like that, Renee.  You got a B in class, Renee?  It’s like anything less than perfection isn’t good enough for him.  Oh, and you don’t even want me to imitate one of his rants about sinning.  I mean my goodness, you would think God would be ok with me having a little fun, wouldn’t He?  Surely…but not my dad, nope.  I never get to watch the movies my friends watch ‘cause they’re all ‘evil’ and the same goes for their music too.  Oh, and any kind of fairytale with a witch is completely off limits.  I mean, seriously?  I’m thirteen, not three.  Sometimes I really feel like I’m living in a cage with him.  It just makes me want to scream. 

Then there’s my mom though.  She is amazing…a little on the crazy side granted, but she has good reason to be.  She’s had a tough life, but that’s another story.  Despite it, though, she’s always sweet to me, always listens to what I have to say.  Oh that’s the other thing about my father, he never listens.  Ever.  It’s like just because I’m a child, my opinion is worthless to him.  He demands ridiculous levels of respect, but gives none in return.  My mother’s only major flaw is following along with his decisions.  I still haven’t figured out why….I guess it’s because she loves him.”  Renee dropped her head at this and stared at the for
est floor below her.  Examining the dirt, she could not wrap her mind around how love was enough.

“Perhaps it’s ‘cause he pays the bills….as he so regularly points out.  Some day you’ll understand, Renee.  When you have bills of your own….but I think he’s wrong.  I mean I’ll admit he’s a hard worker; he does leave super early every day to go work, but so what?  Does that completely justify the way he treats me?  Like I’m not even a human being….just ‘cause I’m young.  What do you think, little guy?”  Renee looked back up at her winged friend who was expressing the same look of sadness as before.  Renee could not help but feel like she was missing something here. 

They proceeded onward in silence for quite awhile longer.  Renee’s mind kept running in circles on the subject.  No matter how she looked at it though, she could not see how her father justified his treatment of her.  At the same time, she had to acknowledge things could be worse.  Her father never beat her.  He was not a drunk like Mr. Hillsby.  Still, he did treat her like a mindless zombie and had been cramming the Bible down her throat for years.  Renee’s thoughts seemed to be trapped in an unending cycle. 

Finally, a more practical need arose, breaking the circle of thought.  Renee’s stomach grumbled loudly, begging for nutrition.  “So….um… little guy, I’m getting really hungry and tired.  I really hope we’re close to where you’re taking me.”  In addition to the pain in her stomach, Renee’s feet were truly starting to have a mind of their own and the screaming message they were conveying at this point was not a pleasant one. 

It seemed the small bird understood her.  As though in response, he stopped on a nearby branch and remained there.  Taking advantage of the opportunity to pause, Renee began scanning her surroundings in more detail.  She identified a massive rock formation up ahead.  In the center, rested a massive boulder.  The thing was at least two stories tall.  Beyond it, nothing stood out.  The trees continued on all around them and there was absolutely no sign of human life. 

Oh great!
  “Really little guy?”  She was fond of calling him that, it seemed an appropriate title.  However, this time instead of endearment, it was dripping with frustration.  “You brought me to a giant rock, that’s it?!”  She threw her arms in the air toward the boulder.  The bird did not flinch from his resting place.  “This is just great, just peachy!”  Her annoyance was starting to develop further. 

The bird began chirping excessively and flew over to something on the forest floor by the boulder.  Renee’s hope was slightly on the rise.  She was also suddenly more satisfied, feeling grateful to simply have a distraction from thoughts about her father.  “What is it, little guy?”  Her tone was clearly more light-hearted now.

In response, the cardinal grabbed at the item’s edge with tiny feet, barely revealing a corner section of cloth.  Renee rushed toward him, curiosity overtaking her.  Moving out of her way, the cardinal dropped the thing and returned to his previously chosen tree branch. 

Picking up where he had left off, Renee grabbed what was now identifiable as the corner of a blanket.  She pulled the rest of it up from under the layer of leaves and dirt which had initially disguised it so well.  “A blanket?  Do you actually expect me to stay…”  Before she could finish the verbalized thought, Rene
e noticed something else. 

There, lying amongst th
e dirt was a small, round object.  It was a coin.  To anyone else, this was nothing more than a pathetic trinket.  “Sam!”  Renee immediately recognized it.  She could not contain her excitement as she plucked it from the ground.  “He was here, he’s alive! We must find him!”  Letting the blanket fall to its resting place, she grasped the coin and began scanning the almost night-fallen woods.  The cardinal remained motionless.  “Which way do I go?”