Relinquished (16 page)

His tone was laced with sarcasm. “You should thank me for leaving you in here. I don't think the cops would think too kindly of you after you killed one of their own over there.” He jerked his head toward Jaxon’s lifeless body.

“Jaxon’s a cop?” I blinked a million times, hoping to clear the grease from my eyes.

An evil laugh bellowed through the room. “Yeah, dumbass. How do you think he kept an eye on you undetected?  He owns a security business, too. Well,
owned
, that is. That’s why April trusted him to change the codes.”

“You really are a manipulative fucker, just like your father.”  I was trying to wipe the oil from my eyes when I felt the blow. Shocked as pain radiated throughout my face, I looked up, blinking hard, just before Sam’s fist came at me again.

“I’ve wanted to punch your fucking face since I first laid eyes on you. Now I can’t wait to hear your screams as you burn. I don’t know what you did to piss off the big man, but damn am I glad he finally gave the order to get rid of you.  I was tired of babysitting you. It’s time to get my justice.”

Thoughts were spinning in my head, and I couldn’t grasp what he was talking about. “What big man? Your dad?”

He barked a deep throaty laugh before pinning me with a stare. “You really are clueless.  I told him there was no way you’d be stupid enough to answer the help wanted ad I’d pinned to your door, and yet you did. If I didn’t hate you so much, I’d almost feel sorry for you. Oh well, time to get this shit over with.”

Oh no. I had no intention of going down without a fight. I didn’t care that I was in excruciating pain and unable to see well. When I sensed him coming at me again, I ducked out of the way. Grabbing onto his arm, I felt a thin rubber glove covering his hand. He must’ve put them on when he was in the kitchen.

I was all slippery and had to struggle to hold on, but I managed to pull the glove down enough to scratch the top of his hand and bite him. If my body was going to be found in here, his fucking DNA was going to be under my nails, and my teeth marks would be on his skin.

He yanked his arm away, then backhanded my cheek hard, sending me flying to the floor. A searing pain exploded in my head when it bounced off the concrete, and I cried out.

“You fucking bitch,” he snarled at me. “See, I knew you didn’t just sit back and take what you claimed Dad did to you. I knew you set him up. Now you’re going to die, whore.”  

I yelped when I heard him squirt what I assumed was more oil all around me as I laid on my side, struggling to see him.

“Burn in hell, Juliana,” were his last words before he threw something in the kitchen, stepped over Jaxon, and headed out the back door.  The sound of the heavy lock latching was the final step, sealing my fate.

My head was throbbing, and I felt woozy as I watched flames erupt in the kitchen.
No. It can’t happen like this.
I didn’t fucking survive all those times with his piece-of-shit father just to go down like this!

I felt a fresh fight rising in me as I tried to grasp the nearest piece of furniture, but I slipped in the oil. Again and again I tried, grasping, crawling, reaching out desperately only to fail and go mere inches forward. Smoke was beginning to reach me, and I started to gasp from the fumes. My brain was battling between surrender, my will to live, and the fact that Sam had done this. He’d actually done this. He was going to burn me alive after he’d murdered a cop. Travis’s son, of all people, would be the one to claim final victory over me. That’s fucking irony for you.

I watched as the fire stretched toward Jaxon’s lifeless body.  From my vantage point, I could see a large area between us where the floor was clear of oil, buying me a little more time. But then, as I lay there, I smelled it—the body, and I nearly puked.

Just like his father, Sam enjoyed torturing his prey. It didn’t matter that Jaxon was dead. Sam wanted me to see and smell his body as it burned. He wanted me to know I was next. And I wished I could say I still had fight left in me, but I didn’t.

They say your life
flashes in front of you right before your death. I didn’t need to wait for death to knock on my door for that to happen. My tormented memories played out in my mind every fucking day. I had no peace in my past and no hope for my future. It was time for me to accept what was to come.

I was almost jealous of the fire’s life, its vigor. It torched whatever was in its path with a confidence I’d never had. Yet, if I didn’t turn away, Jaxon’s body engulfed in flames was going to be the last horrid thing I’d ever witness before my own impending death.

Fuck no!

I was not about to let the sight of fire consuming another person be the last image I ever saw.

With renewed strength, I ripped off the hoodie and dragged my slippery body across the floor. The pain in my head was agony as I positioned my back against the cool polished concrete, then I dragged my feet up against the door, ready to start kicking. There was no way I was going to break it
down, but I had to do something.

I kicked as hard as I could, hoping to catch somebody, anybody’s attention. For a brief moment, I could’ve sworn I heard someone on the other side repeatedly slamming something against it, but that had to be my imagination. Unless they had a key, this door was not going to open.

I turned my head toward one of the shattered windows I’d tried to escape from earlier. Even that was better than seeing what was creeping toward me. My blurry eyes traced the lines, and I couldn’t help but think, just like this window and the mirror in that shit motel, my life had become completely fragmented. I was only pieces now.

And soon I’d be ashes.

Closing my eyes, I tried to relax, accept it. Strangely, my biggest regret was that I would never have a chance to experience the all-out love Holden had talked about. I’d only had a taste, and I wanted more.

In my attempt to be selfless, I’d pushed him away before we’d gotten to that point. Had my life been all for nothing? Surviving the abuse all for nothing? That, I realized, was the saddest part of my short existence.   

When I heard the window rattling, I blinked a few times, fighting the sting in my eyes from both the oil and the smoke. For a brief moment, my vision returned, and I was able to focus on a frantic face, morphed in the webbed cracks in the window.

It almost looked like Dante, but it couldn’t be. How would he know I was here, dying? And why would he care? I had to be imagining things.

In my mind, Dante looked so helpless as he pressed one hand to the glass, the other holding a phone to his ear. His hand was bloody, and his eyes were glued to mine. I could see a lot in those eyes—panic, horror, desperation, and yet determination to keep me focused on him, to draw from his strength and courage.

I was surprised when a slight smile began to tug on my lips. It had nothing to do with happiness. I wanted him to know that he had helped soothe me in my last minutes. Even though he couldn’t be real, he was giving me that human connection I needed, letting me know I was not alone. And that I wouldn’t die all by myself.

I’d always heard we had angels around us and that we were never really on our own. I often thought mine were on an extended vacation. But now, as I watched Dante’s face, I began to wonder.

Maybe those few humans that had reached out to me had been my angels, and they’d known the only way I could’ve seen them was through their acts, because my faith and trust had been destroyed. I did believe there was a heaven and a hell. Since I had already lived in hell, maybe this was my chance to finally have a piece of heaven.

Either way, I offered a silent thanks to the God I’d heard so many of the volunteers talk about at church during those free lunches. I didn’t ask him to save me—that would be insane. Save me for what? More pain and disappointment?  No, I thanked him for those angels he’d put on Earth to remind me that kindness still lived.

For that angel staring at me through the window, proving I wasn’t alone. I hadn’t been there when Casey had taken her final breath, but I had to believe I’d have done the same for her. And maybe I would be seeing her again soon.

I coughed more as the air became thick, the heat from the flames quickly approaching. I heard more pounding on the window, but I had to close my eyes against the heat and smoke. Even the temperature of the concrete was beginning to change. I struggled to fill my lungs with clean air as I blinked my eyes open and looked at him one more time. Then I mouthed ‘thank you’ before the dark smoke blocked my view, and I instinctively pulled the collar of my shirt up, covering my nose and mouth.  It was a last ditch effort to keep from inhaling the ashes, but I still coughed uncontrollably.

Tears began to flow from my eyes, proving that I had been wrong. I’d thought I was too numb to feel emotion, and yet a sad and final sob ripped from my chest as I continued to cough, gasping for filtered air through my shirt.

I was starting to lose consciousness when I heard sirens blaring in the distance. Help was on its way. But as was the story of my life, it would be too late. I’d finally stopped allowing others to force me to make decisions for them in order to find peace.

Who knew that true freedom would come only once I’d relinquished my own will over to my fate?

I failed her.

Even though she had no idea it was my job to protect her, it didn’t change the fact that I’d fucked up. No matter how many times I’d been warned to keep my distance, I hadn’t listened. Standing on the sidelines, watching Jules live that shitty life went against everything I stood for. I’d held back as long as I could manage, but I never expected this to be the consequence for being involved with her. 

My abdomen burned, and my throat was dry as I stood next to the officer. The paramedics were working on Jules, and although she was breathing and her heart was beating, she hadn’t responded yet.  I felt so helpless as I stared at her weakened body on the sidewalk, just out of my reach.

My eyes trailed along her skin that seemed to be coated in some sort of greasy substance, giving the dark, ashy soot a place to stick. The blood soaked t-shirt she’d used to shield her nose and mouth had been cut open, as well as her jeans the minute they’d pulled her out of the building, leaving her exposed in her underwear.

I knew the paramedics were just doing their job, but bystanders were starting to gather around, and if one of those fuckers took pictures, I’d nail their ass.

My eyes glazed over from lack of sleep, and my knuckles were throbbing from beating on the motel door and bar window. I had to stop myself from balling them into fists as I squirmed and fidgeted, watching powerlessly.

I’d already contacted everyone I needed to. Technically, there was nothing left for me to do here.

As I rubbed my hands on my face for the hundredth time, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

“Hey,” I answered, monotone.

While firefighters had been busy knocking down the door, I’d instinctively called Holden.  All it had taken was Jules’ name to send him into a panicked rush. As much as I wanted to keep him away, there was no doubt our now tense relationship would’ve been further damaged had I not called. Plus, in all honesty, this shit had reached an insane level. It was officially too much for me to handle alone. 
I
needed my brother by my side.

His voice was strained as he shouted, “I’m getting off the freeway now, where am I heading?” I figured he’d drive like a bat out of hell.

Looking down, I saw paramedics still trying to get her to respond, but her eyes remained shut. “Shit,” I breathed out, agitated.

“Dammit, where are you guys?” Holden barked.

“Go to the hospital, and I’ll text you when we’re on the way.”

Ending the call, I moved closer to the officer that had just finished taking my statement. “Can you please have them cover her up? They’re not examining her body anymore.”

He glared at me suspiciously as we heard over his radio that a gun and another body had been found in the building. 

What the fuck happened here tonight, Jules?

“And why
exactly
were you here so late at night?” he questioned, still suspicious.

Fuck, here we go again.
“Like I said before, I couldn’t sleep and was driving around to clear my head.  I noticed the smashed glass, saw flames, and stopped.” I pointed to my car still parked in the middle of the street. “When I got to the window, I saw her on the ground inside and called nine-one-one.” I didn’t even want to think about what would’ve happened if I’d given up like I’d planned on doing after another few blocks. The bar was the last place I thought I might find her.

The cop narrowed his eyes even further. “And you just so happen to know her? That sure is a coincidence, wouldn’t you say?”

His condescending tone was pissing me off. The stress was starting to get to me, and my asshole switch was about to be flipped.

I glanced down as they put an oxygen mask over her nose and mouth and got ready to put her on the stretcher. Looking up at the crowd, I saw cell phones flash as onlookers took pictures and recorded everything.
Son of a bitch!

I shoved a hand in her direction. “I’ll answer any of your questions, but can you please fucking cover her up?”

Thank God one of the paramedics heard me and placed a sheet over her as soon as she was on the rolling gurney, but the officer was not as accepting of my brash remark.

“Why don’t you come with me to the station and answer a few more questions.”

I really did respect these guys and wouldn’t want the pressure of their job any day, but there was no way I was going to leave her now that this shit had gone down. “Uh-uh, I’m going with her.”

He reached for something on his belt when Detective Carr saved my ass. “Relax, Grant.  I’ll take care of him.”

“It’s about fucking time you got here. I texted you as soon as I saw her,” I murmured under my breath. “What the hell happened? She’s out of it, and they can’t get her to explain anything.”

His eyes zoned in on mine, letting me know he wasn’t fucking around. “Exactly what we feared would happen and the reason why you were supposed to be watching her.”

Riddled with guilt, my chest tightened, and my eyes diverted to Jules being wheeled away. She’d finally come to and was fighting the restraints they’d strapped on her.

“I have to stay with her,” I told him. “I don’t trust anyone.”

He nodded, then yelled to the officer by the ambulance, “Let him on. He’s her…fiancé.”

I jerked my head back, but he stopped me before I could say anything. “Stick with that for now so they’ll let you stay with her.”

“Okay.” I pointed to my car. “Can you get that moved so I don’t get towed?”

“Yeah.” He nodded, and I tossed him the keys. “I’ll meet you at the hospital in a while.”

Suddenly, everything happened in slow motion as I turned toward the ambulance.  A dark colored truck slowly approached, Jules screamed as loud as her raspy voice would allow under her oxygen mask, and the ear piercing sound of gun shots rang out.

All hell broke loose as people screamed and scattered to take cover.

The roaring sound of the truck taking off forced several cops to jump in their cruisers and take pursuit. 

My heart thumped wildly while I ran toward Jules, who’d been left out in the open, one of the paramedics hunched over her chest.  At first I thought he was being heroic, trying to protect her until I heard him groaning and saw the blood oozing onto the back of his shirt. 

Jules continued to scream something incoherent, valiantly fighting for air under the dead weight of the guy on top of her. I hadn’t realized Carr had run up behind me until he yelled to the closest fireman, “Help me move him!  They’ve got to get her out of here right
now
.”

Jules was completely freaking out, trying to catch her breath as she hyperventilated. They carried the poor guy away, leaving the blood stained sheet on top of her.

I leaned down and grabbed her hand, whispering, “Jules, I’m here with you.”

She continued to panic and babble nonsense. I wasn’t sure she was even aware of what I’d said.

Carr called over to one of the officers that stayed behind. “Follow them to the hospital and don’t let anyone near her unless he says it’s okay.” He gestured to me as I jumped in the ambulance after Jules and the firefighter EMT entered, then the doors slammed behind us and we took off, siren blaring. 

The metal on the stretcher rattled while Jules sobbed and trembled. Shaken up myself, I couldn’t imagine what she was feeling. I wanted to somehow comfort her, but decided to stay out of the way while the stone-faced medic pulled the soiled sheet off, attached a cardiac monitor, checked her vitals, and placed a clean blanket on top of her.

I imagined he knew the guy that had been shot, and putting on his game face was probably his way of trying to remain professional. Admittedly, I was impressed that he was so focused under the circumstances.

He called up to the driver, who looked a little more shaken up. “Did the hospital give an okay on those meds?”

“Yeah, they just did.”

Moving quickly, he cleaned her arm and got an IV in her.

“What’re you giving her?” I asked as he plunged a syringe into a small vile.

His eyes stayed fixed on what he was doing. “Ativan for the anxiety and morphine for the pain.”  

Jules kept her eyes closed tight. Her coughing and whimpering drowned out the radio chatter coming from the front cab. After making sure the injection post was secure on the tubing, the EMT added the medicines to the IV fluid. Within five minutes, she’d calmed down and seemed to have fallen asleep. Each time she stirred, she grimaced as she moaned.  A few tears ran out of the corners of her closed eyes, leaving dirty streaks down her face. Probably nightmares from the way her eyes moved rapidly under her lids.

Pulling my phone out again, I sent a text to Holden, telling him we were almost there. We raced through the streets, pulling up to the ambulance entrance in record time. Hospital staff were ready the moment we stopped. A nurse opened the door and pulled Jules out while the EMT and I quickly followed. Jules was whisked away as the paramedic rambled off her vitals and the meds he’d administered.

Voices sounded, giving directions as we maneuvered around a corner and down the hall to the first open room in the ER. Lost in the vortex of the commotion that only escalated my fears, I wasn’t aware of the hand on my back leading me out of the room until it was too late, and I had lost my chance to be by her side.

“We’ll do everything we can for her, sir. I’ll personally find you when we have an update,” a soft voice said right before she closed the door in my face.

I turned to find the officer that had escorted us standing by the entrance.

“Please keep an eye on her.” Pointing to the door, I reminded him, “She’s very important.”

“I figured or Carr wouldn’t be on the case.” He scanned the area, dismissing me before he stepped inside her room.

I didn’t trust anyone at this point, but I had to walk away. My phone buzzed in my pocket. Sure it was Holden, I left it there and found a seat in a waiting room down the hallway, since that was all I could do now. The room was packed, and the stench of blood, vomit, antiseptic, and fear filled the air around me. Every hospital I’d ever been in smelled the same.    

I took comfort in knowing Holden would be here soon, raging and giving me something else to focus on. I didn't have long to prepare when he came barreling through the automated doors with a look of complete terror.

“Where is she?” he demanded.

I stood and shoved my hands in my pockets, giving him an exhausted expression. “They’re still working on her. I haven’t heard anything yet.”