Relentless (Relentless Soul Book 1) (15 page)

Jeremy

The next afternoon I'm sitting at a table in a small bar in Dallas, decked out in baseball cap and shades to ensure some privacy. While I sip on my whiskey, in my head I replay the events of the previous night. My head is so messed up. I know I didn't do anything with Jo, but the curiosity was there. The way she felt in my arms and the way my body reacted to her actually scared me. These feelings are what are causing my immense and overwhelming guilt. I really want to see Ava, but it wouldn't be fair to her until I sort my head out.

Picking up my phone and searching for Jo's name, my finger pauses for a few seconds and then I connect the call. She answers on the third ring.

"Hey, it's me. I need to see you."

I sense her presence as she walks through the front door and scans the room for me. She raises a hand and smiles awkwardly as she spots me and slowly makes her way over.

"Nice disguise."

She sits opposite me and I clear my throat. "Okay, so I want to start by saying I'm sorry about the way I reacted last night. You opened up to me and I was a dick. I'm sorry."

Shaking her head, she smiles. "You were totally right. You have a girlfriend and I had no right to mess with that. I should have told you when I had my chance all those years ago."

I let out a sigh and reach out to hold her hand. "Jo, you've always been like a sister to me…one of my closest friends. That works for us."

"Yeah, I know. I don't know what came over me last night. Having you in my arms messed with my head and I read more into it than I should have. If I have come between you and Ava at all, I am happy to explain to her that it was all me and that you were completely innocent. If we're all going to be living in the same town I don't want there to be animosity between us."

I look up at her, my eyebrows raised "You got in?"

She grins "I got a call this morning to let me know I was accepted. I move to L.A in July."

"Hey, well done Jo. This calls for a celebration."

***

Two days later we head to Albuquerque and play two small shows. Our days are filled with radio interviews, and magazine shoots, not leaving a whole lot of time for Ava. We spent a couple of hours together last night, but it was awkward and the conversation felt forced. I feel like I am losing her and I don't know how to stop this downward spiral of our relationship. I don't know if I should tell her about what happened with Jo, or if I should just let it go and forget about it. The problem is, I can't forget about it. When we left the bar a couple days ago we made plans to meet up when she comes to L.A and when she was leaving she gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek and the way my heart started racing told me the night at the club wasn't a fluke. How can I completely give my heart to Ava when it reacts that way to another woman? It is driving me bat shit crazy and I don't know what the fuck to do.

It's the middle of May and we're now on our way to Denver. It's a seven hour drive and I asked Ava to spend the trip on our bus so I can spend some quality time with her. We're sitting around the flat screen with the guys watching a comedy that has Hunter almost wetting his pants in laughter. Ava is smiling and seems a bit healthier and happier today. My phone buzzes on the coffee table and when I see Jo's name flash; I quickly stand up and walk to the back bedroom before accepting the call.

Ava

That's odd. Jeremy never takes his calls in the back room. If it's Travis he normally puts it on to loudspeaker for the whole band to hear. He even takes calls from his mum in front of us all and puts it on speaker so all the boys can say hi to her. Maybe something is wrong; I should go and make sure everything is ok. Walking to the back bedroom I hear Jeremy's muffled voice through the door, knocking softly, I let myself in. When Jeremy sees me his body stiffens and he turns his back to me, so I make sure I whisper as to not interrupt "Is everything ok Jer?"

Jeremy turns and nods at me as he says to the mystery caller "I have to go I'll call you back later."

Walking into the room I sit down beside him on the bed and place my hand on his leg. "Jeremy are you sure everything is ok you seem a bit quiet?"

"Dundee, everything is fine. That was just mum filling me in on some charity stuff I didn't want to disturb anyone during the movie."

Plastering on a fake smile I stand up and slowly start to walk out the door "As long as everything is ok you had me a bit worried."

Later on that night I'm sitting on Jeremy's bunk waiting for him to get out of the shower. After going back to my bus I was feeling a bit confined so I thought we could go for a walk. However getting on to Jeremy's bus I discovered that he was in the shower so I made myself comfortable on his bunk. I have the strangest feeling that he wasn't being totally honest with me about the phone call earlier on. Something has changed between us in the last week and I'm not sure what. Suddenly things seem really awkward between us and even forced at times. I know I told him I wasn't ready for anything serious, but despite my words I have recently found myself more invested in this relationship. Jeremy's phone buzzes and I look down to see a text from Jo appear on the screen,

Stone, you never called me back.

Jo? Is that who he was on the phone to before? Why would he hide that he was talking to her? Just then Jeremy walks out of the shower, swallowing a lump in my throat I stare at him. He is standing there in his towel; his hair is wet and hanging down over his forehead and eyes. Looking at his chest I watch a water droplet slide over his peck and stop at his nipple. Further down his towel is hiding a bulge. I don't hide my obvious admiration and desire for him. Pulling my eyes up I look in to his sapphire blue eyes and wonder what is happing to us. He seems so different lately, he is caring sweet and funny but why is he hiding things from me? He has always been so open with me and that's what drew me to him. Jeremy's phone buzzes again and he walks over and quickly snatches it up. Looking back at me he smiles a tight smile

"When did you come back?"

"I just got here. I just wanted a kiss before I went to bed." I decided to leave out the part about the walk; I can't seem to shake this feeling…

***

The next three shows in Denver go smoothly. At the final Denver show Brody sings 'Escape' again and just breaks my heart. I'm so proud of everything that he has accomplished. The girl who ends up with Brody will be very lucky. When we first met I thought for a second that girl could have been me, but I guess not. The crowd was the same as every other show; extremely energetic and wild. They did a meet and greet and a signing after each show that was actually packed full of people. There were so many girls screaming and being very touchy feely with Jeremy and the other guys. It was slightly amusing how these girls were acting over my boyfriend and friends. They really are just normal people with amazing talents. I have spoken to Jennifer about the upcoming end of tour. She wants me to be at the final home show, after all they are from LA and it only seems right to finish it in their home town.

After Denver we pack up and head to Salt Lake City, and we are now sitting in the living area on the band bus having a few drinks after their second show. All of the travelling and late nights are starting to affect us all, so we decided on staying on the bus. It's going to be very strange returning to L.A and continuing my relationship with Jeremy, I wonder if anything will change. Laughing at a story that Luke was telling about some chick he could see in the crowd I take another sip of my beer. Hunter looks around the group

"Shot!"

"No more" I've already had three shots of Vodka and some of the others have had double that.

"Ava you're a pansy, Stone will look after you."

Laughing at Hunter I inform him that it will be Jeremy needing to be looked after. After tipping back the final shot Jeremy's phone buzzes on the coffee table. I'm getting so over these secret text messages he doesn't think I have noticed. Tori must have seen Jo's name appear on the screen and interrupts my train of thought.

"Is that skank Jo still trying to get into your pants, Stone?"

"Jo is not a skank Tori."

"Mmhmm, it sure looked like it the other night."

What the hell is she talking about?

"She was all over you that night at the club. She knows you have a girlfriend and still tried to get with you."

"Tori she didn't try to get with me."

"She told you she's in love with you, Jeremy." A gasp escapes my mouth as Tori continues, "So, what's the plan? You start having a long distance love affair. This is so not fair to Ava."

"No we are just friends."

Sitting there I don't know what to think, I haven't said anything and I think they have forgotten I'm even here.

"STOP! What happened at the club?" Finally they seem to have noticed that I am here. I'm starting to get really annoyed he has been lying and hiding things from me.

"Nothing happened, Ava."

"Al igual que la mierda."

"What?"

"I said 'Like Fuck'. Tori what happened?"

"When you were sick and we all went out. The dirty skank was all over Jeremy when they were dancing, running her hands all over him. She loves him Ava she even told him right there on the dance floor."

Looking at Jeremy I stand up "That's why she keeps calling and texting?"

Jeremy

Shit! I didn't think she noticed the calls and text messages. I hid those things from her because there was no need for her to know about what Jo told me. It doesn't affect my relationship with Ava. I still want to be with her, don't I?

"Look, Ava, I didn't tell you because it isn't important. Yes, Jo did tell me she is in love with me. But nothing happened between us and nothing will. I told her I only see her as a friend and she's okay with that."

Ava's eyebrows draw together in confusion "Then why were you trying to hide her messages and phone calls from me? You lied to me when you spoke to her on the phone. You told me you were talking to your mother."

Fuck! "Ava, baby, I don't know why I did that. I just thought that if you found out about her confession and you knew I was talking to her, you wouldn't be happy."

"So you lied to me to protect me?"

"Yeah."

"Bullshit, Jeremy. I think you lied because you feel guilty and the only reason you would feel guilty is if her feelings are returned." She looks sad as she says these words softly and I feel like a fucking prick. I don't know if I can deny what she's saying.

I'm so confused and my head is fucking aching from the constant confusion. I really do like Ava and I want to see where this will go between us. I mean, for me to not even really think about being with another girl since I met Ava, that's pretty big. But Jo and I go back such a long way and I can't just toss away her friendship because her feelings for me are a little stronger than I thought.

Glancing around, I see that everyone is sitting there watching us like we're here for their entertainment. "Baby can we go to your bus to talk this through, in private."

Ava looks around at our group of friends. "That's a good idea, but I'm going to my bus by myself. I need some time to process everything."

Watching her leave the bus, I run my hands through my hair and spin around to glare at Tori. "Why the fuck did you tell her? She didn't need to know all that."

Tori glares right back at me "You said Ava was your girlfriend. Your girlfriend has the right to know when one of your friends is in love with you and tries to fuck you on the dance floor." She crosses her arms and lifts her chin.

Fuck! I know deep down she's right. I should have been honest and open with Ava. She has always been honest with me. She deserves the same in return.

Rubbing my hands over my face, I mutter "What the fuck have I done?"

Storming down the bus, I enter the back bedroom and slam the door behind me.

Brody

Rising from my chair I head toward the door. "I'm just going to check that Ava's okay."

Hunter puts his hand on my shoulder halting my steps. "Brody, do you think that's a good idea?"

"I'm her friend; she needs a friend right now." Shrugging off Hunter's shoulder, he looks like he wants to say more but steps out of my way.

When I get to Ava's bus I don't even bother knocking. I pull the door open and climb up the stairs to find her sitting at the booth table staring down at her phone.

"Ava?" Saying her name softly, she looks up and gives me a small smile as she rolls her eyes.

"He didn't even have the guts to chase after me? I'm surprised he sent you though and not one of the girls."

Shaking my head I slide into the booth seat beside her. "It's not like that. He feels really bad that he lied to you."

"Good! Why the hell would he do that, Brody? It's not like we're even that serious. Why would he feel he needs to hide something like that from me?"

Running my hand through my hair I shrug "I don't know what the fuck he was thinking Ava. Monogamous relationships are new to him. I don't think he knew what to do."

"I know he said nothing happened with her, but why would he lie to me if he didn't have anything to hide?"

"I honestly don't know what to say Ava. We all have secrets, sometimes we need to keep those secrets to ourselves to protect the people we care about."

She turns to look at me with her sad beautiful eyes. "What secrets do you have?"

Staring into her eyes, I think about what I almost told her when she was in hospital. I think it was a blessing in disguise that I was interrupted both times. Obviously she really cares about Jeremy if she is this cut about him hiding things from her.

As I gaze into her eyes I feel my body turning toward hers in the chair.

"I only have one secret and if the time is ever right I will share it with the right person."

She is now gazing at my mouth. I swallow and reach down to brush a wild tendril of hair from her face. She tilts her head gently to rub her cheek on the palm of my hand and my stomach starts doing somersaults. Shit! I'm supposed to be comforting her, not seducing her. I just can't help myself though. The sad look in her eyes only makes me want to reach out to her even more. The electricity between us is pulling me in. I'm so fucking in love with this girl and with all my heart I want to be honest with her. There's nothing I want more in this world than to finally be open with her and tell her how I feel about her, make her mine. As I start to lean down toward her, the door suddenly flies open.

"Oh, fuck! Sorry." Tori quickly disappears and the door closes again, but the spell is broken. I stand up and back away from the table.

"I'd better go. Call me if you need anything, okay."

She nods her head and agrees "Okay, thanks Brody……For everything. I'm so glad I have you in my life. You're a great friend."

***

There is still tension in the air when I climb back onto our bus. Tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. I glance around and see everyone still sitting in their seats. Jeremy is now sitting in an armchair with the bottle of vodka in his hand. He's obviously had a few more shots while I was gone as the bottle is nearly empty. Tori is on the couch curled up beside Hunter. She must have come straight back here when she thought she had interrupted something between me and Ava. Fuck, who am I kidding? If Tori hadn't walked in when she did I would probably be all over Ava right now. I've never wanted anything more in my life than to kiss the fuck out of that girl, but I can't do that to Jeremy. Like I said, a blessing in disguise. But, fuck, if he doesn't wise up and treat her better he's going to lose her and he'll only have himself to blame.