Rekindled (12 page)

She flinches and whirls around, slamming her mug down so that coffee spills over the top. “You don’t think Rylee’s death hurt me? I may not have been her blood, but that doesn’t change the fact that she was like a sister to me.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. But you have to understand—”

“No, what I understand is that you put me in an impossible situation without ever giving me the chance to explain how I was feeling. You’re not the only one whose heart was broken that day, Tate. It fucking
killed
me to have you walk away from me without ever letting me explain to you what was going on.”

“What was there to explain? You chose Zach over me.” I can feel my skin becoming feverish in frustration and my jaw becoming tight with memories of that day. “What it came down to is that I just wasn’t good enough.”

She closes her eyes and hangs her head. “Tate, you were more than enough. My choosing Zach wasn’t because I didn’t love you enough.” She looks up at me with a haunted look in her eyes, and a chill runs down my spine. Her lips flatten into a straight line and she shakes her head. “It’s because of how much I loved you that I
had
to choose him.”

I look at her for a few seconds trying to understand, but nothing about what she just said makes any sense. “What are you talking about?”

“You had just gotten into an amazing college and had a chance to pursue your dreams, while I was a seventeen-year-old teenager who had just gotten knocked up. What was I supposed to do? Ask you to give up college so you could get a job and help me raise a baby?”

My head snaps up and I try to mask the pain that’s searing through me, but from the way she grimaces I know I’m not hiding anything. “Y-you were pregnant back then?”

She nods. “Yes, I had found out just a few days beforehand,” she says, quietly. “I wanted to tell you, but things were just so raw with Rylee’s death…”

“Jesus, Callie. Why didn’t you say anything? Things could have been so different. This would have changed everything—“

“And what? Ask you to give up college for me?

“I ended up dropping out anyway! Besides, don’t you think that it should have been
my
choice on that? You assumed that you knew what was best for me… for
us,
without even letting me have a say in it!” I rake my hands over my face feeling seven years of pent up anger about to burst free. “I fucking loved you, and I would have done anything for you. I would have found a way to help you take care of Jonah.”

“Do you honestly think you wouldn’t have resented me if I had asked you to give up everything? That you would have been fine becoming a full time parent at eighteen? How was I supposed to ask that of you? Not to mention what about Zach? What was I supposed to say to him? I may not have loved him the way I loved you, but I still cared deeply for him.
”

Her words stab me and I feel like I’m being gutted all over again. We stare at each other in silence, and I’m not sure how many seconds pass, but I can hear the
tick-tick
of the clock on the wall, the noise growing louder with each second. We’ve both spent so many years being hurt by each other, and I don’t want to hurt her anymore. I want us to be able to move past this. I need her forgiveness. I need her friendship. I need her.

“Callie, I loved you, and I would have loved your son, too, because he’s a part of who you are. And if you had told me what was going on and asked me to wait for you until things could calm down, I would have. All I wanted back then was to be with you.”

“You don’t think I didn’t try to tell you? I called you multiple times after that day wanting to explain everything to you, and you just ignored me! Never once did you respond to any of my calls or my emails. You never bothered to give me a chance to tell you what was going on, Tate!”

“I know, and I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry? You’re
sorry
.” She closes her eyes and shakes her head. “It doesn’t matter anyway. It wouldn’t have changed anything.” A bitter laugh escapes her lips. “Even if you had let me explain, we wouldn’t have been able to afford to have the baby.”

“What are you talking about? You were on your parent’s insurance, the doctor’s visits and the hospital bills would have been mostly covered and I could have gotten a job, hell, two jobs to pay for the rest.”

“No, Tate.” She pauses and her eyes begin to tear. “That was the other thing I hadn’t told you yet. The day I told my parents I was pregnant, was the day they told me I was no longer their daughter.”

7 years ago

Five times. I’ve peed on five different sticks, at five different times, with five different brands. But the results were all the same. Positive. Pregnant. Throwing the sticks in a plastic bag, I clutch them as I make my way out of the downstairs guest bathroom.

Walking into the living room, I can hear the boisterous voice of Roy, my father’s campaign manager, booming through our house. He flew into town last week when my father announced he had decided to re-run for a seat in the Texas senate. I thought maybe they’d wait until we went back to Texas before starting up the whirlwind of photo ops and interviews that will invade every inch of our space, but apparently Roy didn’t want to wait another couple of weeks.

Upon entering our living room, I can see Roy talking animatedly with my father about tactics for his campaign. There are posters propped around the room, pins and stickers scattered on the coffee table and a variety of ‘Vote Winters’ items for my dad to give away at his campaign events. My mother is sitting in the lounge chair in the corner, sipping on a dirty martini with her ankles crossed, and a hand running over her pearl necklace. I know I need to tell them, but I won’t start to show for a little bit, so maybe I can just hide it a little bit longer.

“Callie, honey!” My dad says as he catches me trying to tip toe out of the room. Apparently my ninja skills need some work. “Roy here was just saying how fabulous it would be if we could get you and Caleb to join us for a month while we visit various cities in Texas and really try to get to know the people. You know, show them just how down to earth I am.”

I had to bite my lip to avoid laughing. My dad is the furthest thing from down to earth. The Kardashian sisters are more down to earth than my father, Richard Winters.

“I don’t know, dad,” I say hesitantly. “This is my last summer here at the lake before college and I don’t really want to leave early.”

“See Richard, I knew we shouldn’t have come up to the lake right before starting the campaign. If we had stayed in Texas this summer like I had suggested, we wouldn’t even be having this argument. Callie, this is important for your father’s campaign. We need to show them we’re a united, happy family. How would it look to the public if you’re not with us while we’re out as a family?”

“I don’t know, I’m sure Roy here could find a clever way to spin it. Just say I’m staying in Idaho helping orphans or some crap.”

“Callia Renee Winters!” My mother says enunciating every syllable. “Your father has worked very hard to provide you with a comfortable lifestyle. The least you can do is show a little gratitude and support his endeavors. I mean, seriously—“

“Victoria,” my dad cuts in placing a hand on her shoulder and giving her a soft smile. “I’m sure Callie is grateful, she’s probably just a little stressed about going off to college, isn’t that right, sweetheart?”

“Uh, sure.”

My mother lets out a puff of discontent before taking a sip of her drink. “Fine. Well, just remember we have a dinner this Friday at the club, and a photographer is coming tomorrow to take photos of us, so please make sure you wear something…presentable.” Her eyes narrow on me with the last word.

Glancing down, I roll my eyes knowing how much my mother hates my clothing choices. I’ve never been particularly fashionable, preferring jeans and a t-shirt over whatever the latest trend set by magazines is. It’s not that I purposely try to upset my parents, I just don’t believe in putting emphasis on appearances. Growing up in the Winters household taught me early on that a pretty face doesn’t mean a pretty heart.

“Roy bought a nice conservative dress for you to wear, so tomorrow we’ll drive into Boise and stop by Nordstrom’s and pick it up and have it fitted.”

Roy steps towards me with his phone outstretched in his hand so that I can see a photo of the dress he bought. I grimace when I see it. Baby blue with an empire waist and ruffles on the sleeves, all I need is a bonnet and a cane and I could be Little Bo-Freaking-Peep.

My mother continues on, completely oblivious to the simmering agitation that’s swelling inside me. “I’ve made a hair appointment over at Jacque’s Salon, and we’ll have to do something about your eyebrows…” she leans forward and scans my face. “They’re getting to be a bit unruly, don’t you think?”

I snort and roll my eyes. “Are you done making me feel like complete shit about my appearance? Maybe you’d like to tell me that my cheeks are looking a little too chubby and that I should cut my caloric intake because I’m starting to look a little bloated.”

“Callie.” My dad tugs at the ends of his mustache. “She’s just trying to help. This campaign is really important to us as a family. You should want to look your best.”

“Well I don’t. I don’t think it should matter what I look like. Voters are going to pick you because of your stances on political topics, not because my eyebrows have been perfectly plucked.”

My mother sighs and looks at my dad. “See, Richard, I told you she’d be difficult about this.”

Whirling around, I can feel my cheeks bursting with heat. “Oh, you think I’m being difficult? Just wait until the hormones start to really kick in. I’ll be just a damn peach to be around then!”

A confused look crosses my mother’s face until she notices my hands hovering over my still flat belly. It’s like watching characters in a flip-book as my mother’s expression changes from confusion, to discomfort, to horror as she realizes what I’m saying.

“Callie…”

My dad cocks his head still not understanding, but Roy is quick and I can see the concern shine through his beady little eyes.

“Are you…” he begins staring at my stomach.

“Yes, I’m pregnant,” I say, proud that my voice remains steady although my hands do not. “I found out today.”

“No…” My mother cradles her head in her hands. “No, that can’t be right. Are you sure you took the test right? I mean, those things can be finicky.”

“Yes, mother. I know how to pee on a fucking stick.”

Her lips pucker and her cheeks suck in and she looks as though I’ve just slapped her in the face. I suppose in some ways, I have. I didn’t mean for it to be blurted out like that, but there’s nothing I can do to go back and change it. It’s out there now.

“Okay,” she says, clutching her necklace again and putting on her plastic smile, the one she reserves for the cameras. “This isn’t the end of the world. There are options.”

I blink, trying to understand what she’s talking about, but my heart sinks into my stomach when I realize what she means by ‘options’.

“I know a clinic that can probably see her this week,” Roy says.

“It needs to be done discreetly.” My mom looks at Roy, who has already started looking up the clinic’s phone number on his phone. “We can’t have the public know about this, or it would ruin Richard’s campaign. He’s counting on the conservative vote to win this.”