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We get the news we need and head out to take down Javier and his crew. This is a long time coming and I can’t wait to get the asshole who put out a hit on Evan, Alisha and Scott. He’s ruined too many lives and now justice will be served.

Staying low, we hear everything we need and gather around Javier’s drug house. Two of our officers went undercover a few days ago and Javier initiated them. His guard’s down and we have enough evidence to put him away for life.

There’s commotion everywhere and my team is ready to fight. We’re ready to fucking take down these assholes and put an end to it all. Looking over my shoulder I see Devin and notice his hesitation. He notices me staring and nods his head, signaling everything’s good and we should go in now.

Pointing to my gun and to the house we head in, ambushing Javier and his crew, quickly getting men on the ground. Shots are fired and men are screaming. I see one of my officers go down and quickly recover aiming and shooting. When you’re a police officer you have to be quick on your feet. Sometimes you don’t have time to think. You just have to react in that moment and not look back. I’m quick on my feet and don’t stand around to think. Yelling for some of the men I have to get down and stay down I look around and I don’t see Javier anywhere.

In a matter of minutes, death fills the room and things are now quiet. When we exit the house, Devin’s got Javier and we’re filling the squad cars with his crew. Officers are coming out of the house on gurneys and some are being treated for minor wounds. It was a good ambush and we did everything by the book. Some of my team is gone unfortunately and several of Javier’s crew is gone. Looking at Devin and then Clarke I notice something, but quickly shake it off.

Taking Javier in my squad car with Devin it’s quiet and something’s screaming inside me.

“I told you long ago, man, don’t trust nobody,” I hear Javier say from the backseat. “You trust too easily and now you’re going to pay the price. I’m untouchable, baby,” he manically laughs and suddenly everything hits me. I am putting myself in danger so Clarke can be safe to be with Tonya and Lila. My team will be safe, but I’m sitting in the car with two devils.

Caroline, I love you.

“Have you heard from Mason?” I ask Heather and sit by their pool, sipping on a glass of wine and looking at my phone again. “It’s been hours,” I whisper.

“I know, babe. I know. Everything will be okay.”

No one’s answering their phone and I have a feeling in my gut something’s wrong. Going through my contacts, I call Tonya again and her phone goes straight to voicemail.
What the hell?

“Tonya, what’s going on? I haven’t heard from you all day. Call me back please. I love you.”

Disconnecting the call I finish my glass of wine and decide to call Clarke when there’s a knock at the door.

“Are you expecting anyone?” I ask Heather.

She shakes her head and puts down the glass of wine she’s drinking. “No and Mason has a key. Stay here, okay?”

“Okay,” I tell her, watching as she goes back inside, and nervously waiting for her to return. I’m not sure what’s going on and am about to go inside when I hear Heather screaming for me to get out. Dropping my glass, I run and don’t look back. I remember everything Evan trained me with and run as fast as I can. Luckily, I know Mason’s backyard and the woods behind his house like the back of my hand. Just a mile away from his house there’s a secret place. It’s hidden and no one knows about that room except Mason’s family and myself.

Mason and Evan built the safe place three years ago and I’ve never had to use it. We’d practice, but never once has it ever been real.

Keep running, Caroline. Don’t look back. Keep running.

Picking up my speed, I zigzag across the woods hoping to confuse whoever is chasing me. Pushing myself faster and harder I see where I need to go and slow down to see what’s going on. Turning around I see nothing, but I hear movement. It sounds like two people are running towards me. Quietly I walk into the dugout, get into the safe place, and arm the door to lock from the inside.

Walking back, I find myself alone and scared. Holding in my emotions I calm myself down and do everything I can to remain calm. I remember what Evan used to say . . .

Caroline, if ever you’re in a situation where you can’t get out because you’re not safe you have to always be ahead of trouble. Stay safe, stay smart and don’t ever try to be a hero. You have to stay calm because one cry or one scream and you’re dead. Do you hear me?

Sinking down to the floor, I look around and find a blanket close by. Wrapping the light blanket over my body I close my eyes and steady my breathing. Turning on my mophie charger I look at the percentage and am thankful I’ll have enough battery life to last me until tomorrow if I’m smart.

I can’t reach Tonya or Mason and I’m so scared to know what’s going on with Heather. Hearing her scream in my head, I know something horrible happened.

Placing my forehead on my knee I quietly say a prayer and pray I’ll be okay. I pray Mason and everyone I love will be okay.

Mason, I love you.

Slowly opening my eyes, I’m still safe and tucked away. Looking at my phone, I see it’s almost four in the morning. Getting up I find the courage I need to get back out there and figure out what to do next.

Checking my phone, I realize I have no reception and mutter a few curse words under my breath. No wonder it’s been quiet since I got in here.

Unlocking the door, I slowly go outside into the darkness and look at my surroundings. When I get out of the dugout my phone vibrates in my hand and I look to see it’s Tonya calling.

“Where the hell have you been?” I harshly whisper into the phone.

“Where are you?”

“What?”

“I’ve been going crazy looking for you. We all have been. Where the hell are you?” she cries.

“I’m safe. So much has happened . . .”

“Get to Strong Hospital,” Tonya cries again. “Hurry.”

Without thinking, I run back towards Mason’s house. Instead of going through the kitchen to the front door, I run around the side to my car and immediately stop when I see Officer Lawrence getting out of his squad car. I don’t know him very well. He’s new to the department and is quiet for the most part.

“Caroline,” he slowly says. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” I tell him. “What’s going on?”

“Come on. Get in the car and I’ll drive you to the hospital. We’ve been looking for you for hours. We thought . . .” he pauses and rubs his face. “There’s a lot going on.”

“Yeah I heard,” I answer him and close the passenger door. “What’s going on? Can you tell me?”

“You don’t want to hear it from me.”

“Is Heather? Is she . . .” I see him shake his head as he gets on the road and heads towards the highway. “Oh,” I let out a whimper and cover my face with my hands. Why is this happening to the people I love? “Does Mason know? Did you guys call their parents?”

“I know you have a lot of questions. I really don’t think you want to hear it from me,” he quietly says. “We’re almost there.”

“No, I do want to hear this from you. You waited for me so please tell me.”

Lawrence sighs and grips the steering wheel a little tighter. “When Mason was in the car with Devin and Javier he was ambushed and captured. Clarke put some things together and figured it out, so he got Mike to talk and the DA made a deal with him. They found Mason, and rushed him to the hospital. There was a shoot-out and Javier’s dead.”

“What about Devin?” I ask through gritted teeth.

“He’s at the hospital in surgery too. They were coming after you, but when they couldn’t find you and Mason wouldn’t give you up . . . they beat him. He’s in bad shape and has been in surgery for a while. I don’t know the whole extent of his injuries, though.”

“Oh no.” I shake my head. “No. Please,” I whimper, “no!”

Driving to the hospital something inside me breaks and I know it’s a sign. The break I’m feeling isn’t because I’m scared. My heart’s telling me Mason’s gone and I’ll never get to hold him again. He’ll never get to know what I’m feeling or hear the words I’ve wanted to say.

Looking out the window, I count the stars in the sky and say a prayer. I pray that Mason can hear me and hear my heart. I pray he knows I love him and knows how much he means to me. Without him, there would be no Caroline. I’d be lost without him and every day, every night, every second I’m breathing I’m thankful to have someone like him bless my life.

People say life happens in funny ways. There are struggles we have to deal with and struggles we sometimes don’t overcome. We have to find ways to overcome each obstacle and find the strength inside.

The thing about Mason Ryan is he puts everyone he loves in front of himself. He put himself in danger getting in the car with Devin and Javier. I told him to keep me in the loop and I’m not mad he kept this from me. Every plan, every ambush, everything cops do is carefully planned out and secret. If civilians or anyone finds out what cops are doing or their plans it could put many more lives in danger. That’s why I can’t be mad at him. I can’t be mad that he puts my needs first and cares for me so much. I’ll never hold a grudge against Mason. He’s a hero, a man who needs to be remembered for everything he’s done.

And he’s my love, my life and the man I’ll hold in my heart forever.

“Mason,” I whisper, “can you hear me when I talk to you? Do you know how much I love you and think about you?” Staring outside I tuck my legs under my butt and get comfortable. I love this spot, especially at night, because it’s quiet and I get to be by myself so I can think and reflect. “Mason let me know if you can hear me okay?”

Wiping a tear from my cheek I close my eyes and hear his voice. I see his smile and remember the love we shared.

The only regret I have is neither of us said
I love you
to one another, but sometimes words aren’t needed. Sometimes we can hear love, feel love and embrace love. That’s Mason and I. We can feel the love surrounding us and don’t need words. Then the woman part of me comes out and rears its ugly head.