Reflection (2 page)

Chapter 3

I check myself in the mirror one last time before leaving my apartment and getting into the taxi to take me to Shaw’s. I’ve decided to wear a sensible black dress, when I say sensible it covers everything but it is skin tight and shows off my curves, I put some curl into my long hair and some red shoes on, I know when I meet my friends they will have a lot more skin on show than me, that’s just how I am, I don’t flirt and I don’t think I can do sexy. My phone bleeps in my bag it’s probably Adam but I have a look in case it’s one of the girls.

“Hey Liv, I need to see you”

I reply “
Sorry I’m out with the girls”
and throw my phone back in my bag as the taxi pulls up at Shaw’s, I grab a ten pound note from my purse and hold it over shouting to him “Thank you keep the change”

I walk to the bar doors and watch as the bouncers check me out, I nod my head to them and walk into the bar, a quick look around and I see the girls at the bar, actually I can hear them at the bar, as I approach them Charlie spots me and shouts

“Boo, wow look at you”

I smile at her as the others turn round, I reach Charlie first, we hug and then I’m passed around to everyone else, ending with Hannah

“Wow boss look at you, that dress, wow you look very fuckable”

“Hm thank you I think”

“What are you having to drink Olivia?”

“A glass of wine please” I turn back to Hannah “How many have you had?”

“Well been here since seven and I think this is my fourth”

“Christ Hannah, you need to slow down a bit or you won’t make it until nine o’clock”

“Nah, first time I’ve been allowed out with the girls for months I intend to enjoy it”

I shake my head at her and move to Charlie

“You ok Olivia? What happened yesterday after I left that smouldering hot man heading your way?”

“Yeah I’m fine Charlie, oh nothing he wanted to talk and I ignored him” We laugh, she knows it would have been hard to ignore him

We stay at the bar for a couple of hours, I’ve had three glasses of wine so I’m a little bit happy, I keep thinking that I see Adam but when I look again he’s gone. Hannah announces we should hit Spangles the night club for a bit of dancing, everybody agrees and it’s only round the corner.

As we walk down the street, I look at each of my seven friends and note how they all seem drunk, Hannah is out front walking/dancing and singing while the others laugh at her, as we near the nightclub everyone quietens down, they won’t let you in if you are already drunk. As we approach the bouncers they smile and tell us there is a surprise for the girls tonight and to make sure we are watching the main stage at eleven. We walk through the doors and down the stairs, the music is pumping and vibrating in my chest, the place is packed, it’s always like this when a new club opens, give it a month and it will quieten down, I push my way to the bar and order us shots, I pass them back to the others once everybody has one we make a toast and down them, leaving the glasses on a nearby table we make our way to the dance floor, I seem to get lost in the music, swinging my hips with my arms in the air as I turn to look for my friends I can’t find them as a handsome man slides in behind me and starts dancing I let the music take me and dance with him, when his hands come round my waist and start to lower, I pull away and move quickly off the dancefloor and head towards the toilets. I slow to a walk as I reach the corridor I’m just about to open the door when I hear

“LIV”

I turn and there right beside me is Adam “Adam” I reply as I turn away and push the door open and walk in, thankfully there is a queue, I check over my shoulder just to make sure he didn’t follow me in, oh my God he looked gorgeous, he is wearing all black, I love a man in all black I think as a shiver runs over my body when I even think of him out there. How the hell am I supposed to get over him when he does this to my body just by saying my name? I eventually pee and then check my face and hair in the mirror, a quick comb through my hair with my fingers and I walk to the door and talk a deep breath before opening it, I pull it back and walk through and there he is, leant against the opposite wall, his ankles are crossed and his arms are folded and his eyes are staring at me, fuck from the smile on his face he watched me check him out, I quickly turn and walk down the corridor, I must have made it three paces when he grabs me around the waist and pulls me back into him

“Adam let me go” I say but I only half mean it as I feel his body wrap around me, fuck it feels like home when I’m in his arms

“Liv, please I need you”

“No Adam you only want me because you can’t have me”

I wait for his answer that never comes but his lips move to the back of my neck, he must feel the shiver that runs across my body

“No Adam” I say pathetically

He moves us until his back is against the wall, his hand start to slowly move over my body, I need to stop this before it’s too late and I won’t be able too

“So do you want to tell me who the girl was?”

He stops kissing my neck and loosens his grip

“Liv, come on please. I’ve told you I can’t remember”

I turn to face him, “Until you can be honest with me Adam, this” I say waving my finger between us “is over”, I quickly turn and run down the corridor and back to the dance floor, I find Charlie and grab her hand and pull her to the bar, she takes one look at my face and orders four shots, we knock back the first one, then I tell her what happened, we knock back the next one and then she pulls me back to the dance floor.

Several men come over to dance with us and when I eventually open my eyes again I see Charlie waving across the dancefloor motioning that she’s leaving with a tall blonde man, I gently release the man that’s trying to dance with me and make my way out to get a taxi home, I’m drunk and just need to get home. I try and walk as normally as possible out to the taxi rank, I open the door and give the driver my address as I go to shut the door, Adam jumps in and tells the taxi to drive. I watch as the driver looks at me in his mirror so I nod my head. We sit in silence as we drive through the city. The taxi stops and I go to pay but Adam beats me to it, I jump out and almost run to the door of my apartment, the trouble is I can’t get my key in the lock as he reaches over and steadies my hand and opens the door. I almost fall through but those big hands catch me, I hear the door slam, as I am turned to face him

“Fuck Liv you are so beautiful”

He brings his lips to mine, hmm I love his smell and taste, he picks me up and carries me to the bedroom. He stands me at the bottom of the bed and unzips my dress, his hands reach to my shoulders and he pushes the dress off, it pools at my feet, I’m just stood in front of the sexist man I know in just my underwear and shoes, I watch as he removes his t shirt and jeans

“Fucking hell Adam” I say taking a long look at his body, it’s been two weeks but it feels like a lifetime ago, how could I not want him.

“See how much I’ve missed you Liv” he says nodding towards his rock hard cock “Liv, this is all yours” he says waving his hands towards his body

It’s at that moment I remember that girl “Fuck” I shout as I run past him and to the bathroom, and bring the entire contents of my stomach up. I feel his hands hold my hair and rub my back. When I have finished I rest my head on the toilet seat as he hands me a cloth, I quickly wash my face and stand I walk to the basin and clean my teeth, then just stand there I can’t even focus properly on my face. I feel one of his arms behind my knees and the other on my back as he lifts me and carries me to the bed, somehow he manages to pull back the sheets and then gently lower me to the bed, I just can’t get the images I’ve made up of them out of my head, what he might have done to her and her to him, I feel him get into the other side of the bed and pull me back to him, I’m too tired to think so I just pretend to be asleep. He gently strokes my belly

“Fuck Liv, I didn’t do anything, how could I when all I think about is you?” he whispers

I don’t answer him; I just stay still and eventually fall asleep.

Chapter 4

I come to the next morning and remember the previous night, shit it was lucky I was sick or I would without a doubt had sex with him, although I remember what he said he still hasn’t explained the photos. I can’t sense him still in the bed next to me so I slowly turn and I’m somewhat relieved that he’s not there… thankfully he must have left early I think as I hear the bathroom door open, I gently close my eyes but keep them open enough just so I can see him. He walks out of the bathroom completely naked and if I wasn’t asleep I probably would have wolf whistled, Jesus that man has a beautiful body, he glances over at me in the bed then turns to the mirror and starts doing his hair, showing one of my favourite parts of him… that tight little ass. Then his phone must have vibrated on the dressing table as he hastily grabs it and quickly walks back into the bathroom and pulls the door to a close behind him. I quietly push the sheets back and climb out of bed and sneak over to stand by the door so I can hear his half of the conversation

“Hello?” “No, I’m not at home” “Fuck, you can’t keep doing this Lara” “No please, I will be there in half an hour”

That cheating scumbag! Then I decide to do something, stupid or not I don’t think I really care at this point. I walk back to the bed and pull my long hair into a high ponytail then remove my bra and knickers just as the bathroom door opens; I turn on my heels and try my hardest to pretend to be shocked that he’s still here

“Fuck Adam, what are you doing here?”

I watch as he takes in my body and I make no attempt to cover myself up “Jesus Liv, look at you”

I slowly look down my body and start to walk towards the bathroom “Come join me in the shower” I know he can’t because he has to be somewhere in half an hour, not sure what I will do if he does join me…

“Liv, I would love to but I need to be somewhere” he almost pleads

“Ok, no worries” I walk past him into the bathroom, shut and lock the door, I slide slowly down the door until I’m sat on the floor, that’s when he bangs his fist on the door at least three times, I jump but there’s no chance I’m letting him in. I stand and reach into the shower and switch on the hot tap then stand there for a minute, whilst waiting for it to heat up, looking at the door 

“Liv, baby please open the door”

I don’t answer him…

He bangs again “Liv please”

I still don’t answer

“Liv, I love you, you know that, please tell me you know that…”

Ok that pisses me off... How can he love me when he has copious amounts of secrets he’s never going to share and maybe another woman? I turn and get into the shower, I let the water run over me and relax slightly when the banging stops. Whoever called him must have a strong hold on him to make him run out on me so quickly, I remember him saying Lara… I wash my hair and stay still, letting the water wash the lather away all the while thinking about Adam. Funny now I start thinking I remember all the times his phone has rang, he’s gone running and I’ve brushed it off like it’s nothing… fuck. How could I be so stupid? I’m surprised it took me this long to realise I always thought it was something to do with work, stupid, stupid, stupid, I say to myself all the while banging my fist against my forehead and I start to cry, again.

Once I’m out of the shower I decide enough is enough, that’s it we are finished and I absolutely have to move on. I find a number for a locksmith to change the locks on my apartment; I gave Adam a key when I thought he was the one. Then I sit, crossed legged on the sofa with a cup of tea looking at Facebook, I have five messages all from a guy I went to college with and haven’t seen since. He wants to know if I’m available for a date, I click on his profile and have a quick look through his pictures, wow he’s changed, I don’t think I would have recognised him if he walked past me in the street, he’s not a patch on Adam, cute but not sexy. I decide to message him back, thinking about it I don’t think I ever spoke to him at school but I can’t say I remember why.

After several messages we decide to meet up tomorrow night, I text Charlie to give her an update

Hey guess what? Finally finished with Adam, meeting Tom tomorrow for drinks

Her text comes back

Good job, Tom who?

Tom from college, how was last night?

Fuck off not Tom Langley? Oh and last night was amazing just going to start round three

What was wrong with Tom?
I ignore the round three part

You don’t remember him from college do you? A bit nerdy/weird

Well I will find out tomorrow night, enjoy round three with?

Simon and I will do 

Charlie falls in and out of love very easily so I wasn’t surprised he was still there with her, I’ll give it a week max.

I spend the rest of the day catching up on paperwork and watching a film, I decide to ring for a takeaway as I can’t be bothered to cook anything. I eat that then go to bed, I switch my phone back on from silent and I see that Adam has rang a few times and there was a couple of texts, I delete them without reading them.

When I wake the next morning I reach for my phone and noticed my
Mum called last night, I get ready for work and then ring my mum back

“Hey Mum, everything ok?”

“Hello Princess, sort of”

I start to worry “Oh no what’s happened?”

“It’s Uncle Bernard, he’s had some bad news”

“Oh no is the cancer back?”

“Yes only this time there is no hope, they say he has a month maximum”

“Oh my God… how is Auntie Julie taking that?”

“Not well, Bernard says he was living on borrowed time anyway but Julie is devastated, she thought they had years together”

“Oh no, do you need me to come home? Can I do anything?”

“No Princess there is nothing you can do”

“Ok keep me updated and send them my love won’t you?” I hate feeling helpless

“Will do, I will call you again Friday”

“Ok take care Mum, love you”

“You too” she says, I can hear the sorrow clearly in her voice, I end the call and finish off my coffee, that’s made my day miserable before it’s even started.