Redemption Song (38 page)

“I thought you might appreciate a hot shower,” he laughed. “I never thought I’d hear myself say this, but you, Alaina, smell like cigarette smoke and beer.”

Her cheeks flushed just like he remembered and her head once again went to her hands. “Yuck! You’re right, I know. Shower it is. Just point the way.”

Ethan walked Alaina into his building and led her toward the apartment. Once inside, they tried to keep quiet to avoid waking his mom and Ted. He led her to the doorway at the end of the hall. His bedroom.

“I’ve got a bathroom that adjoins my bedroom,” he said. As they entered he flipped his light switch on. He wondered if Alaina noticed any of the posters on his walls of various Christian artists that he’d befriended recently, or the Bible that sat on the nightstand next to his bed. He didn’t think so. It seemed after his comment on her current stench, Alaina focused on nothing but the beeline path to the shower. Ethan followed her into the bathroom, making sure she found everything she needed.

As he turned to exit, she spoke. “Thanks again, Ethan. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you tonight.”

Ethan allowed his eyes to find hers and that’s where they stayed, transfixed and unmoving. How was it possible that she was really there in his room? Spending time with him again? Her presence was an answered prayer. His first love had returned to him, and as he finally broke his gaze and exited the bathroom, latching the door behind him, he wondered one thing.

How long could it possibly last?

~~**~~

Alaina

Alaina ran the thick chocolate-brown towel through her drenched hair as she sat on the floor of Ethan’s bathroom, leaning against the base of the shower. Her suitcase lay open at her side and she pilfered through it to see what all Granny Mae had packed for her. That morning, she’d only had time to grab what was on top and hadn’t actually paid attention to anything else that was packed. Now, she saw that Mae had prepared her for at least a four to five day trip. There were several different outfits, some casual, some dressy, and two different pairs of shoes. Not to mention, her Bible, her journal, and something else in the bottom corner that Alaina couldn’t quite make out. She reached a hand deep into the bag and clasped her fingers around the object in question.

Once she pulled it out, she knew at first glance exactly what it was. A little box wrapped delicately in paper with a small bow on top. Taped to the front, a piece of paper with messy crayoned writing.

It was the last thing Ben had ever given Alaina. The little present that she’d never quite found the strength to open. Why would Granny Mae have packed it? She knew that Alaina would never open anything that personal in front of Cam. Ethan on the other hand . . . well, that was probably a different story and Granny Mae knew it.

But Mae couldn’t have known that Alaina would wind up seeing Ethan during her trip to New York City, could she? Surely not . . .

But Alaina had wound up seeing Ethan, and for the first time since Ben’s death, she felt as though she had the strength to check out the contents of the little box.

Alaina finished towel drying her hair, threw on a pair of faded jeans and a red Skittles t-shirt she’d bought at the mall during the Steve and Barry’s closeout a couple of years ago, and stretched her arms up high, stifling a yawn. It was then that she realized how long it’s been since she last slept. She was fairly certain that, at that moment, she could lie down on the bath mat and get some pretty great sleep, but she was there with Ethan. She couldn’t sleep now. It would be a stretch to stay awake for him, but somehow, she’d find a way to do it.

Alaina checked her reflection in the mirror one last time—laughing to herself as she recalled how little she’d been doing that recently—grabbed Ben’s gift, and opened the door to Ethan’s bedroom.

She wanted to look around and check out what the room of the nation’s most popular pop singer looked like, but when she found Ethan sprawled out on top of his covers with his muscular arms folded neatly behind his head, which was propped on a pillow, the light from a small lamp on his nightstand shadowing his features, she couldn’t quite bring herself to look at anything else but him.

How was it that a year of absence had only served to intensify her attraction toward him?

“What do you have there?” he asked, pointing to the little box in her hand. Alaina made her way over to Ethan’s bed and took a seat at the foot of it. He sat up and moved next to her. “Looks like a present.”

“It is,” she said. “Ben gave it to me the day before he passed away.” Alaina could already tell she was more comfortable talking about this with Ethan than she’d been with anyone else. With Ethan, she didn’t have to push through an explanation of what had happened and how she was feeling. He could tell all of that about her without having to hear a word. With Ethan, she could just relax and talk about Ben with a happy fondness and recollection. “I never really got around to opening it, but I just found it in my suitcase. I think Granny Mae put it there.”

Alaina looked up to Ethan, meeting his eyes once more with a smile. “Mind if I open it now?”

Ethan nodded. “I’d like that.”

Alaina took a deep breath. “Okay, here goes.” She placed gentle fingers on the bottom of the little box, pushing the tape loose from the paper. For some reason, ripping right into it just didn’t seem appropriate. Once the paper came loose, an old cardboard jewelry box fell into her hand. She guessed it had once belonged to Granny Mae, whom she also assumed was the one who’d done the wrapping. Judging from Ben’s help that past Christmas, present wrapping definitely wasn’t his specialty. Alaina paused for a moment before opening the box, wondering what Ben could have possibly left behind that he thought would mean so much to her. What could mean that much and fit into such a tiny box?

The top of the box slid off with ease. Inside laid a folded piece of paper. It was wrinkled where Ben had obviously opened and closed it numerous times. Alaina’s fingers trembled as she slowly unfolded the paper. Her eyes scanned over the words quickly and she heard Ethan catch his breath next to her, but he remained silent. There were handwritten words on the paper, but not in Ben’s handwriting. There wasn’t a signature anywhere, but there was a title at the top of the page.

"Redemption Song".

The words were lyrics. Ben had left her a song. At the bottom corner, in her brother’s sloppy little boy handwriting, there was a web address. Something with the words "YouTube" and "famous baptism".

Alaina’s head shot up and her eyes connected with Ethan’s. He held a knowing smile and his eyes glistened as if he was excited in some way, but at the same time he seemed to be holding back tears of his own.

“I need to use your computer,” Alaina said with hushed urgency.

Ethan nodded toward the laptop sitting on the computer desk beside his bed. Alaina, feeling as confused as she ever had, rose from the bed and sat in front of the laptop without a word. The computer booted up easily and within seconds she’d found the website.

Alaina found her focus transfixed to the screen in front of her. The video was taken in front of a lake. There was a tall man, his arms wrapped around a boy. They both held huge grins. Another woman stood off to the side, proud tears streaming from her eyes. The actions in the video were silent, but a song played as the events unfolded. It was a boy singing. He sang the words that were etched on the paper that Ben had left behind for her. Alaina would know that voice anywhere. She would never forget the face of the boy in the video.

It was Ethan.

His voice rang out through the laptop speakers, as clear and as confident as Alaina had ever heard from him. The words were those of an apology. A confession. A plead for forgiveness. As the title read, it was a song of redemption.

And as Ted folded Ethan’s hands over his chest and spoke words that were not audible over the sound of the song, and then dunked Ethan into that lake water only to pull him back out a new creation, Alaina saw the expression on Ethan’s face.

He was saved.

Ted slapped Ethan a high five and his mother ran right into the water to hug him. The scene was beautiful. And with that, the picture faded to black and the last chord of the song sounded to silence, leaving the breathing of Alaina and Ethan as the only perceptible sounds in the room.

Alaina sat, frozen in place by unreserved shock. Ethan believed! After all of the time she’d spent with him, all of the hours of talking, sometimes even arguing . . . he finally believed. Just when Alaina thought that God had turned His back on her life—that He had given up on a chance of ever using her for anything other than taking care of her own life and her own problems—Ben had gone and shown her what a difference she could truly make in another person’s life. Her little brother hadn’t just given her the best present she’d ever received. He’d given her life back.

Alaina wasn’t certain of the exact amount of time that elapsed before she finally turned back around in that computer chair, but when she did, she finally saw Ethan’s room for what it was. Christian posters hung on the wall. A Bible laid open on his nightstand. His guitar was lazily placed over the arm of the recliner in the corner of the room on the opposite side of the bed. Ethan was no longer America’s hottest teen pop sensation.

Ethan was a Christian singer. He was using his talent for God’s glory and not his own. And Alaina had never been more proud of anyone in her entire life.

“I knew you were different,” she said thoughtfully, finally meeting his eyes. “You never said it out loud, but I could tell you were different.”

Ethan remained seated on the end of the bed across from her. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I didn’t want to have to convince you. I just wanted you to be able to see it for yourself.” His eyes fell to his hands on the bed, a look of vulnerability flashed across his features before his eyes rose back up to meet hers. “You have to know that it was because of you. You saved me, Alaina.”

Alaina felt the tears welling in her eyes. No longer tears of pain or tears of suffering. These were tears of joy. But she fought them off anyway. She was tired of crying. She was ready to live. “You know, the people I really care about call me Ali.”

Ethan’s lips stretched into the grin that Alaina had longed to see for the past year, and in one swift motion, he rolled to her side of the bed, grabbed her hands, and pulled her up out of her seat to standing position. His hand rested on her right ear as he pushed the hair away from her eyes. He was cautious and respectful and when Alaina didn’t object, his lips found hers, as if they’d never been forced to separate.

The kiss was brief, but as Alaina’s head buried into his neck, Ethan’s arms wrapped around her in a hug that she never wanted to be released from, her heart pounding so loudly she suspected he could hear it.

His voice came out as a trembling whisper. “I missed you, Ali.”

“I missed you, too.”

It felt as if eternity had passed before Alaina finally found the strength to pull away from him. “I can’t believe we’re finally getting to see each other again and now I have to leave,” she said, not even trying to hide the whine in her tone.

Ethan took a sharp breath. “When does your plane leave?”

“I don’t really know. I haven’t rescheduled my flight yet.”

“So don’t go.”

Alaina peered into his eyes trying to find meaning behind his words. “What are you saying?”

He gave an innocent shrug. “I’m saying, don’t go. Stay here . . . stay with me.”

Alaina felt her heart quicken. What was he asking of her?

“Like, move to New York? Leave everything behind?”

“Well, technically, you’d only be in New York for a little while.” Ethan shrugged with hopeful innocence. “Toby Mac just signed me to his Winterslam Tour. Rehearsals start in a week. Then in a couple of months we hit the road. Think about it, Alaina. You could hang out with all of your favorite artists, tour the country, and see places you’ve never seen. And . . . we could be together.”

“You . . . you want me to go on tour with you?”

Ethan gave a slight shrug. “Why not? It could be great.”

Alaina opened her mouth to reply, but paused as she considered what he was offering her—which was basically the world. How could she turn down the opportunity to meet famous people and tour the world? And how could she turn down the opportunity to do it all at Ethan’s side? The one boy on the entire planet that had managed to steal her heart away was offering her everything. How could she possibly turn that down?

But she knew she had to.

“Okay, I know that expression.” Ethan gave her a knowing look and backed away to give her some room to think. “How about I lay off the life changing talk for now and we start with just today? We’ll go find you a flight that leaves out tonight. Please, Ali? You don’t have to make your decision right now, but can I just have a little time with you? Just spend the day with me and you can think things through, okay?”

Alaina wasn’t certain what her future held, but she knew that one day wouldn’t be enough to tip the balance of the scales forever. So, she smiled—ignoring all feelings of exhaustion—nodded her head, and went to retrieve her suitcase from the bathroom. When she returned, Ethan stood by the doorway waiting for her with a look of anticipation.

“Okay,” she said. “One day.”

~~**~~

Ethan

One day.

It seemed so unfair that one day was all he could have. He’d already waited one year. It seemed that he should at least be allowed the same amount time to make up for all that he’d lost. But if one day was all he could have, then one day was what he would take. And he would make it the best one day of his life if it was the last thing he ever did.

They started out at the airport. Thirty minutes later, Alaina had a flight booked for eleven that night. They both knew it would put her getting back to Alabama in the early morning hours, but Ted had agreed to fly home with Alaina, rent a car at the airport, and drive her the rest of the way to Fairhope. Ethan would love to have tagged along and gotten the chance to visit with his grandmother again, but he had his own plane to catch the next day. He was scheduled to interview at the K-Love studios in Rocklin, California, on the morning show to discuss his first Christian album release and the opportunity he’d been given to tour with Toby Mac.