Redemption (Forgiven Series) (32 page)

The car had barely come to a stop when I got out and headed for the apartment. The handle bit into my skin as I threw the door open and slammed it shut behind me.

“Angie,” I yelled down the hallway. When she didn’t answer after a second I yelled again. “Angie!”

She came flying down the hallway in a panic. “What, what’s wrong?” she asked.

“Did you know?” I fumed.

“Know what?”

She looked around the room like she was searching for something. I took another step towards her. “Did you
know
?” I roared.

Caleb came down the hallway. “What the hell are you yelling for?” He asked taking in the scene before him, trying to figure out what was going on.

By now my face was so close to Angie’s that I could feel her breath. Without breaking our gaze, I said, “Back off, Caleb. I’ll ask you the same question in a minute.” My voice dropped to a level that was more than a little intimidating as I said, “Angelina, did… you… know?”

I stumbled backward when Caleb came over and shoved me away from Angie. “No, Josh, you back the fuck off of my fiancée.”

“Josh, what are you talking about?” Angie pleaded.

“I’m talking about the fucking drugs,” I snapped, taking another step in her direction, only to be stopped by Caleb again.

“What drugs? I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she said. The fear was evident in her voice, but that didn’t stop me from turning and throwing one of the lamps across the room in a rage. Suddenly, I was thrown up against the wall by Caleb. He had my back against it, along with one of my hands, and one of his arms pressed across my chest.

“I’ll let you go when you cool the fuck down,” Caleb ordered. “You’re not going to keep scaring the crap out of Angie because you can’t calmly explain what in the hell you are talking about.”

Everything about his body language let me know he was serious, and somewhere in the back of my head I knew they truly didn’t have any idea what I was talking about. I was just so pissed off that I’d missed all of the signs. I wanted answers.

Breathing deeply, in through my nose and out through my mouth, helped to suppress some of the rage coursing through me. It felt like I’d been punched in the gut. Here was the girl I loved, more than life itself, following the same path my father had taken—the same path that had ruined parts of my childhood. It took a few more minutes, but I was finally relaxed enough to talk and explain what happened.

“I’m good,” I said quietly.

“You better be, or next time I won’t stop at restraining you,” Caleb warned.

“I swear, I’m good,” I told him. When he let me go, I straightened my clothes and looked up at Angie. The fear in her eyes just about killed me. I’d only let my anger take over like that twice—once when Ryan had hurt Lauren, and the night I threw my dad out for good.

Taking a step in Angie’s direction, I heard Caleb’s warning. “Josh.”

“I’m good,” I promised.

Walking over to Angie, I wrapped her in my arms and kissed her on the temple. “I’m so sorry, Angie. You’re like a sister to me. Please forgive me.”

Initially she seemed a little wary of me, but after a few moments she hugged me back. The gesture helped clear the last of my anger and my shoulders dropped.

“Josh, what happened?” she asked, searching my face for clues.

“Let’s sit down and I’ll explain everything,” I offered.

Turning to Caleb, I held out my hand for him to take. “Are we good?”

He looked down at my hand then back up at me. “Yeah, man,” he said taking it and pulling me into a one armed man-hug. “As long as you don’t flip out again.”

When he let go we moved over to the couch. Angie sat next to me and Caleb took the recliner. Once I sat down, Angie took one of my hands in hers. “Tell me what happened,” she encouraged.

“It was bad,” I said, running my free hand over my face and back into my hair. “The minute I got to Lauren’s apartment she accused me of cheating on her.” Angie’s face showed her shock at that. Both she and Caleb knew how much Lauren meant to me, and that I would never do anything like that to her.

“How could she even think that?” Angie asked, clearly appalled.

I shrugged. “Apparently she saw me having lunch with Kendra and when she saw Kendra kiss me on the cheek in excitement, assumed that I was cheating on her. We fought over it, but I cleared everything up when I told her we were planning a party for her.” Taking a deep breath, I continued. “She stopped crying, but she seemed off. I thought she’d been drinking… until I saw the bottle of pills.”

“What pills?” Caleb asked cautiously.

“The
Percocet
she was supposed to stop taking weeks ago,” I said, disgusted. “Apparently, and these are her words, she’s been using them to relax from the stress of her recovery.”

“Shit,” Caleb breathed.

“Oh my God! What did you do?” Angie questioned.

“What do you think I did?” I asked sarcastically. “I freaked the hell out and left.”

“You
left
?” Angie’s eyes snapped to mine, alarmed.

I stood up and started pacing the room. “I couldn’t stay. I don’t have it in me to do that shit again.”

“Yeah, but this different,” Caleb argued. “Lauren’s not your father.”

Stopping in mid-stride, I turned and looked at Caleb like he’d lost his mind. “How can you even say that? All of it leads to the same place,” I growled.

Caleb leaned forward, resting his arms on his legs and looking down at the ground. “You can’t do that.”

“Can’t do what?” I asked.

He shook his head and raised it to look up at me. “You can’t leave her without giving her a chance to get help.”

I stopped still and snorted. “She won’t get help. They never do.”

By now Angie had pulled both of her legs up to her chest and was resting her chin on her knees, watching the entire conversation play out between Caleb and I.

“There you go again, putting Lauren into the same category as your dad.” He pressed his forefinger and thumb to his temple. “Did you even talk to her about getting help?”

“No,” I answered shortly, beginning to pace again.

Caleb sat silently for a few minutes, watching me pace around the room. “Do you love her?” he asked suddenly.

That brought me up short. Did I love her? Of course I did—that’s why I was so pissed about all of this. “Yes,” I whispered, dropping my eyes to the floor.

“If you love her, you need to help her,” he told me. “As hard as it might be for you, you need to face this and help her.”

“I don’t know if I can,” I admitted, slightly ashamed of myself.

A pair of slender arms wound their way around my waist as Angie rested her cheek against my back. “And just like we’ve been there for Lauren, we’ll be here to help you through this too.”

Standing in the middle of our living room, I tried to figure out if I was strong enough to handle this. After everything I’d been through I couldn’t be sure I was… but this was Lauren.

They were right—I did love her. But how had I shown my love? By walking out when she needed me most.

Fuck. What had I done?

Somehow I needed to make this right. Lauren deserved someone who wouldn’t run from the scary things, but I couldn’t do it alone. Turning in Angie’s arms, I looked over her head at Caleb. “You’re right. I need to get her help, not run away. But I can’t do this alone.”

Caleb stood up and clasped me on the shoulder. “You don’t have to.”

I looked at him. “Thank you, for everything,” I said solemnly.

“Anytime,” Caleb smiled and sat back down in the chair. “Now go and talk to her.”

“Umm, it was pretty bad when I left,” I flinched just at the memory of the look on her face. “I’m not even sure she’ll let me through the front door.”

“I’ll go with you,” Angie offered. “Maybe I can get you through the door. You tried to help me once, it’s the least I can do.”

I laughed without humor. “And think about where we all ended up with my brilliant idea… in the hospital.”

She winced slightly at the mention of all that had happened the previous year, but within moments she regained enough composure to say, “Yes, but look at all of us now—happy and in love.”

I nodded, a smile spreading across my face. She was right. Even though my plan to have her talk to Caleb had backfired when Bryan had shown up, they still got to the right place. I wondered if Lauren and I could get past this. Could we, too, end up in the right place?

“All right, but let me try calling her first,” I replied. Angie nodded and let go of me so that I could get my phone out of my pocket. I dialed Lauren’s number and waited to see if she would pick up. It didn’t immediately go to voicemail but rang a few times. I looked back at Angie and shook my head. “She must be ignoring my calls.”

“Let me try,” Angie said, walking back to their room to grab her phone. When she came out of the bedroom a few moments later, she had a confused look on her face. She didn’t answer my call either.”

Okay that was strange. Lauren
always
answered her phone, even when she didn’t feel like talking. This started to get me worried, especially with the way I’d left earlier, so I sent Morgan a text.

Me: Have you heard from Lauren?

Morgan: No why?

Me: We had a fight

While I waited for Morgan to text me back I tried to figure out what to do next. I looked over at Angie. “If she won’t answer my calls, I guess I should just go over there.”

Angie picked up the keys to her car. “Come on, I’ll drive. Maybe she’ll talk to me once we get there.”

I wasn’t sure it was such a good idea, but I was out of options at this point. We got in the car and headed back to campus. About halfway there my phone started to ring. Hoping it was Lauren, I picked up without even looking at the caller ID.

“Jersey?” I answered.

“Josh, it’s Morgan. I tried calling her, but she’s not picking up my calls.”

The hairs on the back of my neck stood up, and an electricity-like current ran across the surface of my skin. “That’s not like her.”

“No, it’s not,” Morgan agreed, the uncertainty clear in her voice.

“I know. Angie and I are on our way there right now,” I told her.

“Okay, call me and let me know she’s okay,” Morgan begged.

“I will,” I promised and hung up the phone.

I turned to Angie. “She’s not answering Morgan’s calls either.”

“All right, we’ll be there soon,” she said nervously, pushing down harder on the gas pedal.

When we got to the apartment building, I jumped out of the car and ran up the stairs. I could hear Angie’s footsteps running behind me. Reaching the door, I tried the knob but it was locked. Pounding on the door, I shouted, “Lauren, open the goddamn door!”

When nothing happened, I used my body weight to break in the door. What I saw almost sent me to my knees.

“Oh my God. No!” I shouted.

Lauren was lying in the middle of the living room, face down. Running over to her, I checked to make sure she was breathing. The thrum of her heartbeat under my fingertips let me know she was still alive. I looked up to see Angie crying.

“Angie!” I yelled. “Call 911!”

That snapped her out of it and she reached into her pocket to pull out her phone. I gently picked Lauren up and brought her over to the couch. Lightly tapping her face, I tried to wake her up. “Come on, Jersey, open your eyes,” I coaxed, more scared than I’d ever been in my entire life.

“Jersey, I need to see your eyes.”

Angie came over at that point. “They’re on their way,” she said, taking a hold of one of Lauren’s hands. “Lauren, please look at us,” Angie cried.

Slowly Lauren’s eyes opened and she looked at me, before letting them slide closed again. “Josh,” she sighed. That briefest of glances was enough for me to see all of the pain and hurt she was suffering.

“Lauren, Lauren?” I kept repeating her name over and over again until the medics showed up and took her in the ambulance.

We’d been in the waiting room of the ER for a few hours before Lauren’s mom arrived. Angie and Caleb sat talking to her while I kept to myself in the corner, trying to figure out what happened.

How did things get so fucked up in such a short amount of time? Yesterday, we were planning a party for Lauren… next we were sitting in the ER because she’d overdosed on her pain meds. This was something I definitely didn’t how to fix.

I put my head in my hands and sighed. There was nothing I could do to make this right. As much as I loved Lauren, I had to let her go. The pressure in my chest stopped the air from getting to my lungs and a lump formed in my throat at the thought of leaving her. But I knew that I didn’t have the strength to help her through something like this. There were too many bad memories. She deserved someone who could.

Lost in my thoughts, I didn’t notice the commotion at the door and it wasn’t until he was directly in front of me, yelling, did I look up to see what was going on.

“This is all your fault,” Mr. Pierce raged, his face turning a scary shade of red.

Lauren’s mom came running over, but before she could get there I stood up and moved toward him, menacingly.