Redemption (Forgiven Series) (17 page)

He looked down with his eyes wide in surprise. “Wow, your dad has good taste,” he said. “Growing up, I could’ve have only hoped for a dad like that.”

I snorted. If he only knew what a dick my dad was. More interested in his bottle blonde, trophy wife that his own daughter.

“I guess that isn’t a good thing then?” he suggested.

I sighed. “Ah, no. That is, unless you’d have preferred a dad who wasn’t part of your life but tried to buy your love.”

He pulled our clasped hands up to his lips and kissed the back of mine. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize—”

“It’s okay, most people don’t. Everyone thinks that my dad is a completely awesome guy who would do anything for me. When I was eight, I hoped that’s what he would be but unfortunately, by the time I was twelve I’d realized that he was more interested in making money and his social status than spending time with me.”

When I saw the sadness in his eyes, I rushed to explain. “My mom was all I needed. She was there for me through everything. She’s part of the reason I didn’t go to Florida, that and the fact that I didn’t want one dollar of my father’s to pay for my education.”

He sat there in silence for a few minutes absorbing everything. It felt good to just be held by him. Even Ryan didn’t know much about my father. He’d never bothered to ask, and I doubt he would’ve cared even if he had. But here I was, feeling safe and comfortable in Josh’s arms, even after all of the reservations I’d had about coming.

“This is gonna sound wrong, but sometimes it’s nice to not be the only one to grow up with a shitty dad,” he admitted.

The confession took me by surprise and I turned to face him, waiting for an explanation.

“My dad wasn’t any better. He got addicted to prescription pain pills after he hurt his back at work and after that, he walked in and out of our lives whenever he felt like it. Thankfully, I haven’t seen him since I was seventeen.”

“Four years?” I asked in shock. Even if I didn’t want him to, my dad still showed up more often than that.

“Yeah, but let’s not talk about our shitty dads anymore,” he murmured as he leaned in and slipping his hand behind my neck.

Before I could say anything, his lips met mine in a smoldering kiss. The spark between us ignited and as I parted my lips, he slipped his tongue into my mouth, twirling and tasting mine. Grabbing fistfuls of his t-shirt, I pulled him closer to me.

He lowered us to the couch and his hand slipped up my ribs, skimming the underside of my breast. The kiss was quickly getting out of control and although we had already slept together, if we were going to attempt an actual relationship, I wanted it to be based on more than sex. Turning my head, I broke the connection of our lips.

He continued to kiss a path down my jaw. “Josh… wait,” I panted.

“Hmm,” he moaned as his lips slid to the hollow of my neck.

Bringing my hands up, I rested my palms either side of his head, lifting until he was looking me in the eyes. “Josh, please listen,” I pleaded.

“Jersey? What’s wrong?”

There was a pause while I tried to find the words because I wasn’t exactly sure how to explain it to him. He’d already promised that he wanted this between us for more than a night. Averting my eyes, I mumbled, “I’m not ready for…
that
.”

“Look at me.”

Moving my eyes back to his, I felt the blush engulf my face.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”

“It’s… it’s just… I want this,” I said, waving my finger between us, “to be so much more than just sex.”

“Jersey, honestly, I would be happy to just lie here holding you. And if you wanted to do a little kissing as well,” he hinted, lifting his brows suggestively. “Well, let’s just say I wouldn’t mind that either.”

“Really?”

“Absolutely.”

His answer shocked me, even though it shouldn’t have because it was everything he’d been telling me since this afternoon. I guess I still wasn’t sure if I could believe him. It was going to be hard for me to trust someone again, but I was going to give it my best shot. Although, to protect myself, I decided to give Josh small pieces of me at a time—it was the only way I would be able to do this without running the other way from fear.

Sliding my hands into his hair, I pulled his face down for a kiss of my own. Without any hesitation, I opened my mouth, allowing his tongue to tangle with mine. This time when he slid his hand up my ribs, I let myself enjoy the feel of his hands on me, instead of worrying about where it might lead.

Time seemed to stand still while Josh had me wrapped in his arms. Eventually, we found ourselves lying side by side of each other, our lips still connected, spreading the heat between our two bodies.

The sound of someone clearing their throat somewhere behind us made me jump and I pulled out of Josh’s embrace, turning to find Caleb and Angie standing in the middle of the living room. Caleb was watching Josh with a smirk on his face. Oh my God! I knew my face had to be the color of a fire engine. I was so embarrassed.

Josh sat up next to me wrapping his arm around my shoulder. “Dude, what the fuck?” he scowled.

If it was possible, Caleb’s smirk grew bigger as he said, cryptically, “Karma, my friend. Karma.”

Josh shook his head, and looked down at me. “Well played, dickhead.”

I watched Josh and the smile he was trying to hide. He was as annoyed as I was about being caught but there was something else too, something I was missing. I could see it in the looks passing between him and Caleb. I’d get Josh to explain later. I looked at my watch. Crap! It was almost midnight and I had practice early tomorrow.

“It’s all right, I need to get home anyway.”

Josh’s hand tightened on mine. “You don’t have to go. I’m sure Angie and Caleb have something else to do,” he hinted.

“You don’t have to go, we were just headed to bed,” Angie winked. She grabbed Caleb’s hand and started to pull him down the hall, before turning and calling over her shoulder, “Call me tomorrow, Lauren.” Then they were gone.

Josh leaned in to capture my lips again. The feel of his firm lips against mine was almost my undoing and it took every ounce of strength I had to pull away from him. The feelings that sparked between us when he touched me made it so I never wanted to leave the warmth of his arms, but I knew that I had to get some sleep before practice. Placing my hands on both sides of his face, I moved my mouth away from his. “I’m sorry, but I really do have to go.”

“Stay for just a little longer.”

He gave me a look that I knew I would always have trouble refusing if things worked out between the two of us. I’d probably agree to almost anything he asked if he did it with that sexy pout of his lips. Maybe just a few more minutes…

I shook my head to clear it. With the changes to the team I really needed to be at my best, and that meant going home to sleep.

“I have practice tomorrow morning and I need to work on building a rapport with the new catcher,” I said regretfully.

“When can I see you again?”

Just hearing him ask that, warmth spread through me. I wanted to see him again, and I had to know if this was more than just a physical attraction. Tonight had been a good start, but I needed more of that before I could trust completely again.

“How about tomorrow night?” I offered.

His lips pulled up at the corners into a beautiful smile. “That sounds perfect. I’ll text you tomorrow with a plan.”

I stood up and put my hands on my hips. “Who says I’m letting you decide what we’re doing?” I asked.

He stood up and pulled me into his arms and, leaning down, he took my lips in a sweet, soft kiss that left me breathless. After pulling away he touched his forehead to mine. “Because you know you’ll love whatever I decide,” he whispered.

The feel of his breath on my face sent a tremor through my body. “You’re right,” I breathed. I reached up to press a quick kiss on his lips. “But for now, I really need to get home.”

“Fine,” he pouted. “Just remember, tomorrow night you’re all mine.”

“Good thing I don’t have practice on Sunday then,” I flirted.

As I turned towards the door I noticed Josh following me. When I looked over at him and gave him a questioning look he said, “I’m walking you to your car.”

“I’ll be fine. I walked up to your door by myself.”

He snorted and I shot him a glare, making it clear that he was only pissing me off. He moved his hand up to cup my cheek. “That was earlier in the night.” When I still hadn’t budged, he continued. “Look, a year ago I would have thought nothing of letting you walk out to your car by yourself. After what happened, please don’t be mad at me for coming with you.”

When he put it that way, I couldn’t argue with his logic. Feeling the annoyance drain out of me, I reached down and took his hand in mine. “Lead the way,” I said with a smile.

When we reached my car he opened my door for me and I slid into the driver seat. He leaned down into the car to give me one last kiss and, just like the first kiss of the night, it sent tingles all the way to my toes.

“Until tomorrow, Jersey” he promised, standing up and closing my door.

I couldn’t keep the smile off my face as I watched Josh walk back into the apartment. Crap, I hadn’t talked to Morgan since this morning when I left for class. Wow, so much had happened since then. I couldn’t keep the smile off my face as I watched Josh walk back into the apartment. Hearing a noise coming from inside the car I peered inside the center console and saw my phone. Damn it. I’d been so nervous that I hadn’t even realized I’d left it behind. Scrolling through the messages on the screen I noticed a reminder for this afternoon.

Meet Morgan re: English Lit

Crap, I hadn’t talk to Morgan since this morning.

Deciding to skip the messages and call her, I palmed my phone on my hand. She answered on the first ring. “Where in the hell have you been?” she hollered without even saying hello.

“Okay, Morgan, calm down—”

“Calm down?
Calm down
? I’ve been trying to get hold of you all day. I had no idea where you were. We were supposed to study together for English Lit, and then you don’t come back to the apartment after class and
I’m
the one who’s supposed to calm down?” she ranted, barely stopping to take a breath.

Damn, no wonder she was so pissed. “I’m so sorry, Morgan. So much has happened today that I completely forgot. Look, I’m on my way home so can I explain when I get there?” I asked contritely. She had every right to be pissed and I would probably need to do a little groveling before the night was over.

“Whatever,” she snapped and hung up on me.

Exhaustion had begun to set in, and without the adrenaline from Josh’s kisses running through my body my limbs felt heavy. The thought of having to navigate one of Morgan’s infamous tantrums filled me with dread, but there was no avoiding it. This day was never-ending.

A few minutes later I pulled into the parking lot outside our apartment. Making sure I had everything I needed I got out of the car and walked quickly to the apartment, knowing that the sooner I got this conversation over with, the better.

Walking into the apartment, I expected to see Morgan sitting on the couch waiting for an explanation. Instead all the lights in the apartment were off. There was a small crack of light coming from under the door to her room. When I closed the front door, the light quickly went out. Was she really going to play this game?

Opening the door, I flicked on the overhead light. Morgan was lying in her bed with her back to the door. “I know you’re not asleep, so you can stop pretending,” I said.

When my comment was met with silence, I decided to tell her what had happened today, knowing full well that she was listening to every word I said.

“Morgan, I’m really sorry about not texting you earlier. I was at Josh’s apartment and I forgot all about our plans to study tonight.” I noticed her twitch slightly, but she still refused to turn around.

“I got a text from Angie this morning asking me to lunch. What I didn’t expect was for Josh to show up in the middle to try and convince me that he wanted more than one night with me.”

Like a bolt of lightning, Morgan flipped over and watched me with a look of absolute shock across her face. “Come again?”

“Josh wants us to date.”

“You… you mean as in giving up a different girl every night?” she stuttered.

“That’s what he said,” I sighed.

Flopping back onto her bed I threw my arm over my eyes. This whole situation was a still a little surreal to me. Could Josh really give up all of the other girls and be faithful to me? Everything had seemed great when we were together earlier, but now that I was no longer worried about a pissed off Morgan my nerves began take over.

The bed shook as Morgan moved over on next to me. “You don’t sound so sure about it. Tell me what happened.”

Pulling my arm down, I turned my head so that I could look at her. I told her everything that had happened from the time Josh showed up during lunch, up until I left his place.

“So far, I don’t see what the problem is?”

“It’s just that, I’m not sure he’ll stay with me,” I replied sadly.

The room was quiet for a few moments before Morgan spoke.

“Let me ask you a question.”

“Okay, shoot.”

“Do you think Josh lied to you?”

“No, I don’t think Josh lied. Angie believes in him and I trust her completely. But I’m just not sure he’s got it in him to only be with me.” I rubbed my temples with my fingers. The whole conversation was giving me a headache.

Morgan reached over and took a hold of my hand. “Can I be honest with you?”

My eyebrows pulled in. “When
aren’t
you honest with me?”

She rolled her eyes. “I’m always honest with you. It’s just this time I’m not sure you want to hear it.”

Morgan knew all there was to know about me. If she wasn’t sure about telling me something, then I probably wasn’t going to like it.

“Tell me anyway,” I insisted.

She squeezed my hand a little tighter. “I think that you’re afraid of getting your heart broken again.”