Redeeming Justice (38 page)

Following an afternoon filled with tense emotion, Meghan left Tori and Lacey at the
cabin to return to the main house. She was a big girl and didn’t need any babysitters
to watch over her. Each time she’d tried Alex’s cell phone it went straight to voicemail,
a solid indicator that he had nothing to say. It was time for her to come back to
reality.

Letting herself into Alex’s bedroom all she could do was groan when she saw that the
bed had been made and the room straightened. In all the time she’d spent there, Meghan
had been careful not to leave evidence of their erotic playtime scattered about for
Carmen to deal with. It was bad enough that everyone knew what was going on without
also providing a comic book view complete with sexy lingerie and blindfolds to raise
eyebrows.

After discovering Alex wasn’t by her side in the big bed this morning, she’d gone
looking for him, sure that they’d be back to straighten things up long before Carmen
did her daily rounds. Catching sight of the freshly made bed had Meghan’s eyes frantically
searching the room for her corset when she spied it neatly folded along with her thigh
high stockings and shoes on an ottoman in the dressing room. The boudoir cuffs and
blindfold sat nearby along with Alex’s black silk pajama bottoms.
Oh shit
, it really couldn’t get any worse than that.

In the dressing room, she looked at all the sexy silk and lace in the drawers and
felt her heart clutch. Every bit of it was meant for Alex’s eyes only, a thought that
brought an onslaught of hot tears.

She couldn’t stay in his bed, in his room, without him being there. It didn’t feel
right. Nor did keeping any of the gifts he’d been lavishing on her for weeks. He was
gone, by his own choosing, and knowing that changed everything. Maybe it was a good
thing that she hadn’t divulged how she felt. Admitting she was falling in love with
him only for Alex to leave and not look back would have been more terrible than words
could convey.

Swiftly gathering the few items of clothing she’d brought and her stash of toiletries
from the bathroom, Meghan cleared her presence from his room then stopped and gave
the space one last look. She surmised from pieces of her earlier conversation with
Cameron and Draegyn that Alex going off the rails today of all days had most likely
been the result of him being distracted by their affair. She hated calling what they’d
been doing by that trashy term but if it had been more, he wouldn’t have reacted so
badly.

In the end though, she understood. All of it and that was why she saw no good in trying
to fight it.
Hell
. Surrounded as she’d been her entire life by good, honest, caring men who put their
welfare second to the needs of others, she had a special understanding of the heavy
burden that a man like Alex would carry. Honor, duty, sacrifice; even remorse for
those times when circumstances went horribly wrong – these were things she knew well.
He’d just never be able to accept a lesser version of himself. Now, while their relationship
was new and exciting, it was one thing but later on, he’d come to resent her for taking
him so far from his sense of center.

“I’m so sorry, baby,” she sighed into the empty room. The solid wall of silence answering
the lament pretty much summed up her predicament. Closing the door firmly behind her,
Meghan walked with leaden feet back to the guest room and made mental preparations
for the departure she knew wasn’t that far off.

By the time Alex drove down the long drive to his home the next day, he was fighting
a lump of dread settled in his gut. Time to face the piper, he thought while parking
his truck near the front door and dragging his unwilling body into the house.

The first thing he noticed was the eerie quiet. He’d gotten so used to Meghan’s boisterous
presence and the way people flocked to her that finding his surroundings hung with
the unpleasant silence of a mausoleum gave him pause.
Shit.
This was going to be harder than he imagined.

Dropping his keys on the front table and grabbing a stack of mail Carmen had left
for him, he made his way slowly up the wide staircase with feet weighed down by regret
and something that was starting to feel like heartache.

Pausing outside the door to his room, Alex prayed to a God he wasn’t sure was listening
that Meghan wouldn’t be waiting for him on the other side. He doubted his resolve
to make a clean break if he found himself alone with her. Knowing that was the only
course open to him, for her sake he had to do the honorable thing and act like a man.

A coward’s relief coursed through him when he noted that the bed hadn’t been slept
in and found he was alone in the big room. Alex tried to pretend that pulling away
from her was the best thing for everyone involved only to stumble on his own foolish
thoughts when he spied the sexy lingerie she’d worn that last night they’d been together
folded neatly in the dressing room.

Warning bells started clanging in his head, knowing how Meghan was about keeping their
bedroom activities private. She would never leave those cuffs or the blindfold laying
out for Carmen to see. A tic started twitching near his eye as he hurried into the
bathroom, instantly noting that all evidence of Meghan having been there was gone.
Returning to the dressing room, Alex began yanking open drawers only to find them
overflowing with the endless wardrobe of lingerie and sleepwear he’d given her. A
quick glance in the near empty closet told him she’d taken only what she came with.
His chest tightened and a bitter taste rushed into his mouth at what it meant.

He’d seen her SUV in the driveway so he knew she was still at the Villa. After his
appalling behavior she must have sensed what was coming and taken the initiative to
start putting up a wall between them. Was for the best, he thought although why his
chest hurt he wasn’t sure. Maybe it was because he could still smell her. It was as
if her scent clung to everything.

Glancing at the bed pictures flashed of him and Meghan in every corner of the room.
His mind was filled with visions of her face, the way her voice softened when she
called him baby. How she looked spread out on his bed, writhing and screaming in ecstasy.
Fuck
. His hands were shaking and a sense of loneliness hammered in his gut.

Alex dropped into a chair and closed his eyes. How could he stand being in the room
without her? Spending night after night in the very place where so many intimate memories
drenched the air was expecting too much.

“Thanks for listening to my complaining,” Brody told Meghan with a wry half-grin.
Rolling a shoulder, he studied the floor for a second in that way guys did when they
accidentally wandered into the unfamiliar waters of emotional sharing. “I just figured
that another teacher would understand my dilemma.”

Wincing, she offered a self-conscious eye roll. “Yeah, well…teachers united, right?
With so many people taking shots at the profession these days, it gets harder and
harder to keep sight of what drew us to the field in the first place.”

Brody chuckled. “Students more interested in challenging authority than learning.”

“Amen to that,” she agreed with a snort and a headshake.

“Do you miss it? The kids, I mean. Not all that school district tug-of-war bullshit.”

“God, Brody. I don’t know how to answer that,” she admitted. “There was so much about
being a teacher that I loved and wouldn’t trade the experiences I had or the challenges
faced for anything.” Meghan threw the brooding veteran a hard glance. “But the politics
and the atmosphere of confrontation and aggression from the kids, parents, colleagues,
and especially the MFers that controlled the money…..well, it leeches the joy right
away. You know?” Her reply was a statement more than an actual question.

Brody huffed, his exhale all sneer and nothing else. “Yeah. I hear that. Me?” he spat.
“I had enough of that tired shit in the Marines. No way could I teach full-time like
you did. This suits me better.”

Meghan enjoyed talking to the surprisingly bookish loner with the familiar East Coast
twang. The entire Justice Family was interesting. Everything about their dynamic fascinated
her. But Brody was the odd piece. The entire puzzle didn’t come together quite right
without him, but somehow he was always a smidge askew. Getting to know him wasn’t
easy. He was about as closed off as a person could get. Learning he had a whole other
life far from here as a teacher had surprised her.

“That’s why the community college gig is so perfect. It’s a job share with another
instructor who can’t commit to full-time. Teaching one semester lets me keep my hand
in but still gives me the freedom to, well…” he said with a mocking smile and a half-shrug.

She smiled and nudged him jokingly with her shoulder. “Oh you boys! I see what goes
on around here and know perfectly well what the attraction is!” Chuckling with glee
she poked him good-naturedly in the ribs. “This place reeks of testosterone, admit
it! It’s like summer camp for mercenaries, spies, and geeks.”

They laughed together, big whoops of lighthearted high spirits. When her giggles died
down, Meghan released a mournful sigh.
I’ll miss this
, she thought. All of the people she’d met during her stay in Arizona had touched
her in one way or another. Feeling her time here coming to an end, unhappiness must
have flashed in her expression.

In one of those horrifying moments where timing was everything, Brody frowned at her
glum face and reached out to comfort her with a friendly hug. Did it go on a few seconds
too long? Maybe. All she knew was a sound brought them quickly to attention and in
that moment Meghan knew her fate was sealed. Standing in the doorway was her tortured
lover, in all his stern, forbidding Major glory. The hard expression on his face,
and the bitter look in his eye, as he took in the sight of Brody and her in mid-hug,
sucked all the air from the room.

Happy to see he was back and in one piece, it was reflex and habit that propelled
her instantly in his direction but he stopped her with a terse greeting that felt
more like a slap than a kiss hello.

“Good afternoon, Meghan. I’m delighted to see you found a way to amuse yourself while
I was away.” Ignoring her the next second, he turned what actually looked like a friendly
eye on Brody, his tone lightened when he addressed the other man. “Jensen. Glad I
ran into you. Thought I’d stop by the barn later and look in on the kennel. Time to
evaluate those shepherds so we can start pairing them with potential owners.”

Brody, for his part, looked shell-shocked. Meghan wasn’t ignorant of the territorial
vibe Alex had put out where she was concerned. To see him now, acting as if she was
a tourist passing through, around a man he had specifically snarled away was uncomfortable
and confusing. Looking anxiously between Meghan and Alex, poor Brody had the air of
someone who desperately wanted to be anywhere but here.

“That’s great, Alex,” he answered flatly. The teacher in her envisioned him in a Swiss
t-shirt as he valiantly tried to stay neutral. “I gave Betty some files that she promised
to get over to you about a couple of the pups. We should definitely talk.”

Oh, this was ridiculous
, Meghan fumed inwardly. Men are so stupid. So the big, bad Major wanted to play the
ignore card. He probably figured she’d cry and cling and get all dramatic on his sorry
ass. And Brody.
Good lord.
He was acting like he got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. It was a damn hug
for Pete’s sake.
Whatever
. She knew the score and none of this was a surprise. She was a complication so Alex
was simply going to emotionally withdraw.
Fuck.
He wasn’t even original. She sighed, disappointed and hurt.

Reverting to type, Meghan startled everyone by clapping her hands once, then rubbed
them together like she would to get the attention of classroom full of boisterous
students. “Well, I’m outta here,” she chirped with a mocking smile and two raised
brows into their shocked faces. “You boys have fun.” The sarcasm dripping from her
voice could in no way be misunderstood or taken the wrong way. Score one for the teacher.