Redeeming Heart (13 page)

She knew some Christians struggled with
issues, but Landon’s past actions could only be described as
horrific. How could another human being be so cruel knowing Jesus
could return at any time and they could be lost forever? Her brain
was hurting as she stood. “Let’s go.”

***

Landon never cared what others thought about
him—until that moment. Never before had disappointment in a woman’s
eyes cut him to the core, rendering him defeated. If he needed
anyone to believe in him…
God, please let it be Octavia.

“There’s no excuse for what I’ve done. My
conscience had been seared, but the Blood of Jesus is my defense,
and my redemption has been restored. If I could take back every
deed I did, I would,” he said softly. He never knew condemnation
could be this painful.

Ministers, including Rossi, had anointed his
head with oil and prayed mightily. However, the release from his
bondage didn’t seem to come until God released His Word through a
heavenly langue in other tongues that flowed from Landon’s mouth.
The experience had left him spiritually exhausted and conscience
free, until now—again.

When their server returned with the bill,
Landon swiped it. “I got this,” he said again, referring to the
tab, but wishing it also applied to his life.

He trailed Octavia outside and watched as she
got into her car, shooting him daggers that didn’t need his
assistance. Briefly, Landon wondered if she was going to give him a
ride back. He jumped in before she gave it much thought.

The ride was surreal until Octavia pulled to
the curb in front of Mac’s Place. She didn’t even look at him when
she said goodbye with finality in her voice.

Landon chanced another look at her, but she
refused to meet his eyes. He unstrapped his belt and stepped out.
His heart twisted at the thought that he might never see her again.
“Goodbye, Octavia. Thank you for leading me back to Christ.”

Octavia had barely closed her front door when the
gush of tears started covering her face. Placing her keys and the
food container on the counter, she dragged her body into her living
room and flopped in a chair. So many emotions flooded her mind.
Little by little, she had begun to like Landon, not as a charity
case, but as a man she admired, rising above his circumstances. She
barked, “What a joke.” His confidence had been nothing more than
pride. And to think she preferred his company over James. That was
another joke on her.

She shivered as the thought of becoming one
of Landon’s victims, despite his denial, made her cover her face
and sob in earnest. Was she playing into his hands without knowing
it? Her cell vibrated in her purse, but she ignored it. There was
no way she could hold an intelligent conversation the way her head
was pounding.

Octavia exhaled when it transferred to voice
mail, but it rang again. Getting up, she rifled through her purse
and eyed the ID—Rossi.

Yes, she needed his prayers. Taking a deep
breath, she sucked in her tears and answered as her voice
cracked.

“Sis, are you all right?” Rossi paused, as if
giving her time to respond, but Octavia was numb. She tried to nod
yes, but her head shook no. No words were forthcoming, so Rossi
continued. “Landon called me,” he said tenderly. “After I prayed
for him, he thought you might need prayer as well.”

“Did he tell you…” she hiccupped.

“Yes, everything.” Rossi’s voice was
soothing.

“I was beginning to really connect with him.
What am I supposed to do with that information?”

“What do you want to do?”

She said the first thing that came to her
mind. “Kill him. Seriously.”

“I thought you would, but think this through,
Sister Octavia. Landon repented, and God forgave him. Now he needs
to forgive himself and resume his rightful place in God’s
kingdom.”

Octavia heard Rossi, knew of Landon’s
salvation report, but it still didn’t mend the ache in her heart.
“I was foolish to be attracted to him,” she said, making the moment
about her. She couldn’t help herself from acting this way.

“God has redeemed him,” Rossi repeated.

“I wish I didn’t know what God had redeemed
him from.” She shook her head in disgust. “A womanizer. I’m trying
to wrap my head around that person. I can’t understand people that
intentionally abuse others, whether physically or emotionally.”

“Yes, the sins Landon committed were horrific
from our viewpoint, but the Lord loves him, and Landon knows he has
to make restitution and I’m not talking about monetary to his
victims. He has to rebuild trust. I plan to be there for him. He’s
going to need a friend.”

Yeah, that’s easy for you. You’re not a
woman.
Rossi must have been privy to her thoughts, because he
pressed on.

“I’m sure as a woman, it’s heart-wrenching,
but unless Landon has made any offending remarks or gestures toward
you, consider the wounded soldier who has been abused by our common
enemy—Satan—on the battlefield and left for dead…”

Only after Rossi began to pray, did the chaos
in Octavia’s heart begin to settle. “Amen,” she whispered softly.
“Thank you.” Feeling better, her appetite returned. Getting up,
Octavia walked back into the kitchen and uncovered her salad.

“You’re welcome,
friend.
Remember,
this is just as much of our trial as his. He needs us to pray him
through this. I believe God has withdrawn his hand of affliction
upon Landon’s life in spite of the terrible things he did as He had
Cain, putting a mark on the first murderer’s forehead that served
as a warning sign not to harm him.”

Octavia remembered reading that passage in
Genesis 4 and she marveled at God’s mercy in verse 15.

“So now it is on us to do our part as
required in Second Corinthians two, verses six and seven. Landon’s
punishment is sufficient. So now, whether he offended us or not, we
must forgive him and comfort him unless he becomes overcome with so
much sorrow that he’ll never truly believe he is redeemed.”

Guilt was beginning to prick at her heart.
“When I dropped him off, he thanked me for bringing him back to
Christ.”

“Believe his intention,” Rossi advised, and
moments later, he ended the call.

As she rested her elbow on her counter, she
picked at the remains of her salad, considering everything Rossi
had said. Basically, as a practicing Christian, the ball was in her
court. Groaning, Octavia got to her feet and tossed what was left
of her meal into the trash bin. She was drained. Yes, she could
forgive Landon of his past because he didn’t hurt her directly, but
what about the mother of his children, his cousin and God knows who
else who was in the path of his destructive nature?

“Enough.” Octavia rubbed her temples. She had
to regroup so she could email the Colemans’ offer to the listing
agent. Once that task was done, she took a long shower, then
prepared for bed with a heavy heart. On her knees, Octavia prayed
God would allow the Colemans’ offer to be accepted by the sellers,
then she prayed for Landon’s restoration and her heart. Once she
began to call out the different crises in the world, her issues
seemed frivolous. She whispered, “Amen,” and climbed under the
covers.

Although Octavia willed her body to sleep,
her mind wandered. She had made it no secret to God and others that
she wanted a Christian man for a mate. She had waited patiently,
believing and trusting God that the perfect man for her would walk
into her life.

Maybe, she should have been more proactive
and put the “church sister formula” into action: sisters would
bring their dates to church, willing beaus would repent, be
baptized and God would fill them with the Holy Ghost. Soon after
that, wedding vows would be exchanged. While many had a happily
ever after, some split as if they were recovering from a
morning-after hangover. “Nope,” she dismissed that formula. That
was too much work. She rolled over and shut down her mind.

Unfortunately, the next morning, Octavia woke
with an active mind with visions of Landon in the jungle hunting
for female prey. She hadn’t realized she had cried in her sleep
until she glanced in the mirror and puffy eyes peered back at
her.

It took some time, a lot of determination,
makeup and prayer for Octavia to get dressed for work. The weather
was sunny and mild—perfect, except it did nothing for her mood as
she was the last person to arrive at the office for their Monday
meeting. If her makeup didn’t hide her heartache, then she probably
resembled a crack addict searching for more drugs.

“Whoa.” Terri’s eyes bucked as she jumped
from her chair. “What happened to you?” Not waiting for an answer,
she shoved Octavia out the small conference room before other
agents could catch a glimpse of her.

Terri squinted, then twisted her lips. “I’ve
never seen you this disheveled, even lounging at home.” She folded.
“Give me the Cliffs Notes of what happened after I saw you on
Saturday.”

Octavia shrugged. She loved mother-hen Terri,
but she couldn’t share this, not when it was about Christians
misbehaving. “I’ll figure it out,” she paused. “I signed a contract
yesterday.” She displayed a winning smile and hoped it reached her
eyes.

“That’s not going to work with me. Once this
meeting is over, we’re going out for an early lunch and talk.”

In the conference room, Octavia garnered
stares. The bright spot in the meeting was she was the only one
with a signed contract. Once the briefing was over, Terri made good
on her threat and steered Octavia out the office toward the car.
Terri drove the short distance to Einstein Bros. Bagels. Terri
ordered for them, then claimed a spot.

Leaning on the table, Terri folded her arms.
“Okay, spill it. What are you trying to figure out?”

Octavia picked at her napkin. She should have
called her younger sister for advice. At least Olivia had good
experiences with dating.

“Tavie, you’re scaring me.” She reached and
rested her hand on Octavia’s arm. “You don’t have to go into
details, but tell me something, and I’ll pray for you.”

Octavia blinked. Her friend didn’t say that
often, so Terri must be really concerned. Suddenly, she wanted to
cry again. “Landon recommitted his life to Christ this
weekend.”

Terri gave her a strange look. “Ah. Isn’t
that a good thing?” She tilted her head; confusion was stamped on
her face. “What does that have to do with you?”

“I learned something about his past that I’m
trying to come to grips with.”

“Honestly,” Terri threw her hands up in the
air as a server placed their orders in front of them. “I don’t
understand your fascination with the guy. Granted, he’s hot, but he
has nothing to offer you…unlike Jam—”

“Don’t go there,” Octavia stopped her. “Let’s
bless our food.” She said grace for both of them, then picked up
her ham-and-cheese bagel. The appetite she didn’t have earlier was
now waiting to be fed. “I’m done with Landon Thomas.”

Terri’s eyes widened with excitement. “Does
that mean you’re going to let James step up to the plate?”

Octavia couldn’t believe she was about to
cave in, but at the moment, she felt defeated. “Maybe.”

“Hallelujah,” Terri teased until Octavia
scowled.

They ate in silence until Octavia took the
last sip of her grape juice. Her cell phone buzzed, alerting her to
a new email. She scanned the subject line:
Coleman offer
rejected.

“What is it?” Terri frowned.

“The Coleman offer was rejected. I’m not
surprised, but I was hoping God would intercede on their behalf.”
She dropped her phone back into her purse.

“I’m surprised you gave them false hope. It
was against all odds in the first place.” Terri cleared her throat.
“I’d better get back to the office.” She stood and gathered her
trash. “Clear your head, then give James a call.”

It wouldn’t be today. Octavia was still going
through Landon withdrawals.

“Are you going to be all right?” Rossi asked Landon
as he peeped his head into the makeshift office.

“Yeah,” he said it, but he wasn’t so sure.
The bus had dropped Landon off at the office a few hours ago, yet
he had accomplished very little on the Visitors Bureau project that
Rossi had been able to secure for him. He rubbed his hair. After
work, he would take a trip to Crowning Glory in Tolliver Town for
another shave and haircut at a minimum fee and tip.

“My life is so messed up.” Landon shook his
head in disgust. “I’m starting to see the magnitude of my
mistakes.”

Stepping farther into the room, Rossi patted
him on the shoulder. “Let’s take one day at a time. Despite
everything in your past, God has your back; I have your back…”

There was one more name he craved.
“Octavia?”

Rossi stuffed his hands in his pants pockets.
“Women take mistreatment of any woman personal, so it was a hard
pill for her to swallow.”

“I know.” The thought of not having Octavia
as his cheerleader was more devastating than losing anything else
in his life. Landon felt an unexplainable spiritual connection with
her that he had never felt with any woman. The intensity frightened
and soothed him at the same time. His whole emotional entanglement
with Octavia started day one as if God had injected him with an
Octavia IV drug when Landon hadn’t been aware.

He shifted in his chair. Now Landon
understood reaping what he sowed. “Well, I guess I’d better tweak
this campaign, so I can send it to the client.”

“Yep. Remember, this is about
you
. God
tracked you down for a purpose. Everything will work out. It may
not be overnight, but it will in the end.” Rossi backed out,
closing the door.

Landon hoped so. “Get yourself together,
man,” he chided himself. Chasing women got him into trouble. He
didn’t see how chasing another one would get him out of it. He
returned his attention to the graphics for the city’s winter
promotion. If the Visitor’s Bureau liked his ideas on this small
project, they could open the door for steady employment in the
coming months, which in turn would mean him settling in St. Louis,
or should he still proceed with plans to move to Texas?