Redeeming Heart (11 page)

“Nope.” Brother McCoy shrugged. “I would
guess maybe to church, judging by the tie he was wearing, but he
avoids worship service here, so I doubt that.” He paused, looking
perplexed.

“He might surprise you. Thanks.” She walked
out the door thinking Landon was becoming more mysterious by the
moment.

Landon sat in the pew at the church Rossi attended,
thinking about Octavia. She had been on his mind since the night
before. His heart ached, knowing once he told her everything, he
would lose her, not that he had her. Landon wished he could change
his past.

A middle-aged, dark-skinned short man with a
booming voice got his attention from the pulpit. He identified
himself as Pastor Yancey before he welcomed guests. “Before I read
my text this morning, I want you to consider this: Have you ever
wondered how David, with his sinful, lustful and out-of-control
self, could be a person after God’s own heart? It just doesn’t make
sense to us,” he said, patting his chest. “God saw something in
David hidden from our view—his heart.” He paused and flipped
through the pages of the Bible. “So my sermon today is ‘It’s Time
for Soul Searching.’ Jesus doesn’t have to put up with our
foolishness. It’s His grace that we’re not consumed.

“Mark 8:36–38 says, ‘
For what does it
profit a man to gain the whole world, and forfeit his soul? For
what shall a man give in exchange for his soul? For whoever is
ashamed of Me and My words in this adulterous and sinful
generation, the Son of Man will also be ashamed of him when He
comes in the glory of His Father with the holy angels.”

Landon bowed his head. He needed that same
mercy God had given David

The previous night, Rossi had forced him to
do some soul searching of his own. Landon rewound the scene in his
mind. He didn’t have to stay after Rossi finished preaching, but he
couldn’t move. As the line grew longer for prayer, Landon kept
playing and thinking and eventually praying. By the time Rossi made
his way to him, Landon was ready to unload his burdens.

“What’s your story, bro?” Rossi said it in a
low-key manner as a friend and not in an intimidating voice of a
minister who had just preached. “Those church songs were engraved
in your heart. I’d venture to say that you’re a prodigal son.”

“Try a prodigal son, cousin, grandson and
father.” Landon held his breath as Rossi eyed him.

“I wasn’t expecting the last part.” Rossi
frowned. “Your secrets are safe with me. How many children? Talk to
me,” he pressed.

Landon looked away. He couldn’t face the man
of God. No matter how Landon phrased it, he would not come off as
endearing. “Four. I slept with women, including one in my home
church, knowing that I didn’t love them. They knew it too. If they
got pregnant, perhaps on purpose, once the DNA testing verified it,
I paid child support rather than play their when-to-visit-or-not
games.”

“The blame doesn’t all fall on your
shoulders. The devil seems to plant one or two Jezebels in the
church,” Rossi said as if he was trying to downplay what he had
done, but Landon knew himself. He was fully to blame.

Landon had to confess this, even if Rossi
wasn’t operating in his minister capacity. “There’s more…God has
whispered James 1:15 to me more times than I can count with a tag
line for me to repent.” He exhaled. “I was on a path of spiritual
destruction that I couldn’t get off; it seems like since I was a
kid. My cousin, Garrett, was also causality. Although out
grandfather loved us both, I was always the one being reprimanded.
I competed with Garrett for the sport, whether he participated or
not. When he got engaged…I’m ashamed to say I flirted with his
fiancée until she slept with me.”

He glanced at Rossi for a reaction, but his
face was unreadable, so he continued. “When Brittani became
pregnant, she had to come clean about our affair. Garrett hadn’t
violated her like I did, but she wasn’t a virgin either. To save
face, she pleaded with Garrett to spare her the double humiliation.
He refused…and I didn’t love her, so of course marriage wasn’t an
option for me either. Brittani’s recourse after delivering twin
boys was to threaten to keep them away from the family. That was a
major blow to the Miller clan where the girls outnumber the boys
nine to one. The stress had been too much that Grandpa Moses
suffered a heart attack.” Landon choked. He had been a horrible
person and the more he talked about his deeds, the more he hated
himself.

Rossi gently slapped him on the back, then
rubbed his neck. “It’s all right, man. Who am I to judge God’s
servant? We were all born in sin. That’s why we have to repent and
be baptized in water and God’s spirit. That is the only way.”

“I know.” Landon nodded. “There’s more,” he
said as Rossi removed his hand. “I was so forgone that I didn’t
realize I had picked up demons along the way. Garrett’s new
girlfriend discerned them when I recklessly brought a false prophet
to the hospital to pray for my critically ill grandfather.” Landon
sat there, listening to the rhythmic sound of crickets. With the
crowd dispersed, everything seemed surreal.

“Anything else?” Rossi asked.

Landon grunted. “Haven’t I done enough
damage?”

“The cross is stained with our dirty deeds.
God has nothing but compassion—” He held up his finger—”unless you
try and play Him. That’s what repentance is for, so I’m going to
pray for you, because your actions caused a crack in your spiritual
armor. The devil widened the gap and invited a slew of demons with
a mission to destroy you.”

“Yep.” Landon looked down at his linked
hands. “I thought about ending it all when I lost my job, condo and
car…”

“That was the angel fighting for your soul.
It’s time to turn your life around. Repent—”

“I feel like I’m too far gone. I wonder if my
sorry is genuine enough. I’ve been compared to Esau and maybe I’m
more like him than I realize. He couldn’t repent either.”

They both paused and watched as a couple of
men transported the remaining stacks of chairs to the vans, then
Rossi turned back to him. “Hebrews 12:17 said ‘Esau found no place
for repentance, though he sought for it with tears.’ Boo-hooing
doesn’t impress God if a person isn’t sincere. Jesus can restore
you, if you want to be restored, but in order for that to happen,
you need to give your life back to Christ—not only read, but
meditate on the Word, come to church and listen to God.”

“Oh, trust me, God hasn’t stopped talking to
me, although I’ve tried my best not to listen. I guess I’d better
start.”

“Good.” Rossi stood. “Let’s get out of
here.”

“I appreciate you listening and not judging
me. The Bible says to ‘judge yourself,’ and I’ve done that. I don’t
like what I see.”

“You have a free ride to church, if you’re
committed,” Rossi offered.

“I’ve got to. God has my attention.” As they
walked to his car, Landon stopped in his tracks, and Rossi gave him
an odd look.

“What?”

“Octavia…” Landon rubbed his jaw. “I have the
nerve to be attracted to a godly woman and I don’t know what to do
about it.”

“There are Jezebels in the church, and there
are Octavias who really love God. She may seem naive, but she has
the favor of God on her life and wisdom.” Rossi paused to thank the
workers along the way, then turned back to Landon. “If you’re the
one who God has for her, then I pity you more than her. Remember a
rose is delicate, but it still has thorns. Octavia won’t allow you
to hurt her. And to be honest, neither will I.”

Landon respected Rossi for saying that.
“Besides not having anything to offer her, once I tell her, she’ll
hate me.”

“Nah.” Rossi reached in his pocket for his
car keys. “Octavia’s going to kill you.”

“Run for your life because the devil is on
your heels!” Pastor Washington’s shrieking jolted Landon back to
the present and sent shivers down his body. “This is your altar
call. Don’t look behind you because it will only slow you down.
Look ahead to Jesus who has His arms stretched out. As a matter of
fact, it’s been that way for a long time. Get up from your seats.
Make that change today.”

It was time. Landon eradicated whatever
amount of pride he had left in his heart to stand. With no turning
back, he marched to the front of the church and confessed he wanted
to rededicate his life to Christ. Two ministers laid hands on his
head and shoulders and prayed. Closing his eyes, Landon saw a
vision of Christ nailed to a wooden cross. Rebellious tears sprung
from nowhere and flowed down Landon’s face.

In spite of the activity going on around him,
Landon felt alone and stripped naked before God. Then voices seemed
to surround him. Landon realized the entire congregation was
rallying behind him. Shouts of “Deliver him from the devil’s
bondage,” “Make his way straight, Jesus,” “Give him a clean heart…”
The cries of help on his behalf became deafening.

Finally, the Lord’s voice pierced through.
Your slate is clean. Now serve Me.

Everything was a blur after God spoke. The
hugs, handshakes and words of encouragement were overwhelming as
Landon tried to compose himself. The burdens of his deeds were
gone. He felt spiritually cleansed.

“To celebrate new beginnings, let’s eat,”
Rossi offered and treated him to dinner.

Hours later back at Mac’s Place, Landon was
relieved that he had the bedroom to himself. He even welcomed the
sight of Grady’s open Bible. Landon stood over his roommate’s bed
and peeked at the scripture Grady had underlined: Jeremiah 31:3:
The Lord hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved
thee with an everlasting love: therefore with loving kindness have
I drawn thee.

Landon nodded with a smile. “Yes, You have,
Lord.”

Stretching out on his own bed, Landon
fingered his new prepaid cell phone, pondering his next move. Rossi
had made sure he had it to make and receive business-related calls.
Slipping it out his pants pocket, he stared at the device. After a
sigh, he punched in one number he couldn’t forget. With every ring,
he choked. Finally, before the third one was complete, the familiar
voice answered.

“Hi, Grandpa.” Tears returned and flooded
Landon’s face as if he was a lost child instead of a
thirty-three-year-old man. He never recalled crying this much as a
toddler. He was a man, yet surrendering to God had sucked the life
out of him.

Your old life,
God whispered.
I’m
giving you new life.

“Landon?” Moses Miller asked for
confirmation.

“Yes, sir. It’s me.”

Silence, so Landon waited to see if he would
receive or reject him. There were very few people in his family he
hadn’t crossed, but his maternal grandfather had been long
suffering with his antics. When he issued the ultimatum, Landon
realized he had lost his last ally.

“I’ve repented.” It was a prodigal-son moment
that his entire family had been waiting for. They had warned him
continuously that he needed to repent, but he mocked them,
preferring his lifestyle of destruction and self-gratification. He
bowed his head. His elbows were anchored on his knees.

“Landon, Landon, Landon,” his grandfather
said in a cautious tone. “God knows I want to believe you, but your
mockery of seven times seventy leaves me suspect. Why don’t you
tell me what’s going on with you?”

“I deserve that,” Landon admitted, then began
to chronicle his life since being forced out of the condo his
family knew nothing about to roaming city to city: New York,
Chicago and now St. Louis as he was making his way to Texas.

“Are you ready to come home?”

The cliché “home is where the heart is” was
true, but he had to find his heart before he could be at home.
“Nah, Grandpa. I’m at a place in my life where I’m starting over. I
can’t live in Boston anymore.”

Moses was silent, which made Landon wonder
what he was thinking. “That’s your decision alone to make, but you
can’t make a new frontier every place you go. Women desire love and
respect. Haven’t I proved that with your grandmother—fifty plus
years of marriage—then your parents? You’ll never be able to love a
woman until you love God first and then your own soul.”

This time, Landon let his grandfather’s wise
counsel sink in—something he had never done before.

“I know that now. I met someone, and God
knows I don’t want to mess it up.”

“Does this young lady know about your
past?”

“Not yet—”

“Let’s pray,” his grandfather cut him off,
and without any preliminaries began to call on Jesus until Landon
ran out of minutes.

Octavia would never grow tired of seeing souls
repent. It was the highlight of any church service.

As she watched in awe, souls flocked to the
altar for prayer or baptism. Landon’s shaved face flashed in
Octavia’s mind. What was his story?
If he was here, would he be
in that line?
she wondered. Once she was finished with her
house showing that afternoon, Octavia would pay Landon another
visit.

After the benediction, Octavia had only
enough time for a sandwich from a drive-thru restaurant. With her
immediate hunger quenched, she directed her attention on the
Colemans. They were first-time home buyers with demands that were
unrealistic.

She and her colleagues preferred listing a
property. Other agents besides her would show the home, which would
increase the chances of it being sold faster and with less work on
the listing agent’s part. As a buyer’s agent, Octavia was solo.
There would be a lot of legwork to get the Colemans into a house
they would call home.

The couple didn’t have a lot of money to
spend; the commission would be lower and after the agent’s rental
fee to the broker for office space, training and materials, the
agent was lucky to have lunch money, which was the reason Terri was
always hounding her about changing “the company she kept” to
upper-end clients.