His eyes squint, his hand comes up to cover mine. He smells of rain and Liam Black. A mixture made to weaken the strongest of people. “You want me to leave?”
It’s hard to say the next words. “Yes… I want you to leave.”
“And never come back?” he asks.
I shake my head. “No, I want you to put us first. Our safety comes first. And when you can do that, prove that you can stay.”
“I can’t change entirely, Rose, you know that. It’s who I am.”
“I know, I don’t want you to change, I would never ask you to do that. I love you the way you are. It’s what you do and how you do it. I won’t have it near me, not anymore. Too much bad has come from it.”
His head drops as he stands in the same spot, he doesn’t speak as he turns to leave. The rain coming down heavy on us both, dripping, just like my dripping, melting heart.
A plan is what I need. I plan to win her trust back—not her heart, I already have that. And I have shattered that, the trust within it. She tells me I have to give her my all, I thought I was, I did. Maybe, possibly I didn’t. Because I don’t quite understand what
my all
is. I don’t know how to decipher the difference.
“You’ve been moping all day.” Sax goes to tap me on my shoulder, but I pull away. Some habits are hard to break. He squints at my reaction and shakes his head walking in front of me.
“This is what you do all day?” I wave my hands around, we’re in a security room. Over ten different screens have some live feed from the places he has security on. He shakes his head at me.
“This is not what you’ll be doing.”
“What will I be doing?”
He unholsters his gun and sits in front of me. “You will be on bodyguard duty. It’s perfect for you, no talking.”
“Guns?”
He nods his head smiling. “Yes, you will carry a gun.” He brings out his iPad and starts searching for something, then turns it to me. “This…” he points to the screen, “…is who you’ll be working with.” The woman on the screen is beautiful. “She is a pop star and a very famous one,” he says pulling it back.
“When?”
“She flies in tonight, you’ll meet her at the airport.”
I had planned to see Rose tonight, to try to talk to her again. I’m craving her like I’ve never craved anybody before.
I watch as she walks down from the plane, she has a triage of people surrounding her. She’s easy to spot and dressed like she was in that photo, like a model. Not an ordinary person, I don’t know a lot about women, but I’m guessing wearing high heels and tight dress on a plane would
not
be comfortable. She walks to me closely followed by her team. She doesn’t look up, her eyes are glued to her phone. She stops and holds up a finger when she reaches me.
“You are?” she asks while still typing. I don’t answer and that makes her pause and stops typing as she looks up at me. She smiles and the lady closest to her answers for me.
“It’s your bodyguard.” Her eyes roam up and down my body, she can’t see my eyes, because they’re covered by my sunglasses.
“Stay close, love,” her voice is low when she speaks to me. I follow her to the car, wondering when I can shoot someone next.
I’m to guard her for the next few hours, then return tomorrow. She has a team on her at all times. We’ve checked into the hotel, I didn’t enter and stayed positioned at the front entrance. There are men with cameras situated everywhere outside—she must be popular.
“Love?” her voice is next to my ear. The door isn’t all the way open, only her head is visible when she asks me to come in. When the door is open all the way, she’s standing there in nothing. Literally nothing on her body, she smiles sweetly at me.
“Tell me your name?” I look at her, she sees me looking and it only makes her smile brighter.
“Black.”
She purrs, like what the actual fuck. “I like that, I like that a lot.”
“You needed?”
She touches between her legs, her pussy is bare. Her legs are slightly parted. “I need a release. The last one didn’t do so well. I have high hopes for you.”
Nope… not fucking happening. My cock isn’t even happy at the sight of her, it hasn’t moved once.
I turn and walk out, not even shutting the door as I leave. Another man is standing there, another bodyguard. “She needs you.” He smiles while nodding his head. He can fuck her because I sure as shit am not.
“Not again Sax, not a-fucking-gain. Do you hear me?” He doesn’t pay me any attention as he types furiously on his keyboard. It takes him a moment to turn to face me, then he smiles.
“She try to seduce you?” My eyes bulge that fucker knew. “She does it to all my men, most fuck her.”
“Do I look like most men to you?” The smile hasn’t left his lips.
“I have other jobs I do. I think perhaps would be more up your alley. Except, it’s confidential, only my best men do these jobs.”
“Guns?”
He covers his face, smiling. “Yes Black, it’s only for those with guns.”
“People?”
“Yes, usually you and one other.”
“A woman?”
“No.”
“Sign me up.”
There’s a delivery at my door, it’s a large black box. A card is attached to it, so I pick it up and feel the weight of it. I’m actually afraid to open it.
Don’t open near the kids.
I read the first line of the letter and wonder if it’s smart to actually open it. I mean, who starts off with a heading like that.
A gun for a piece.
A piece of your heart.
A bullet for your trust.
A barrel for your love.
As you’re reading, you see that I suck at this. I am trying. This is my most prized possession, I received this after my first shoot. It was the moment I knew I was GREAT at something. This was what I was great at.
Until you.
I carry this piece everywhere, if it’s not with me, it’s near me. I’ve had this since I was sixteen years old, Rose. Sixteen… I’ve never had something that long in my life or loved something that long. Until a dark night, a strange girl sat in the dark. She took my breath away, did you know that? Did you know you did that? No one has done that to me before. NO-ONE.
I’ve never understood you, you were odd, but kind. You were strange but un-mistakenly beautiful.
I am giving you this as a sign, you now hold my most prized possession. What you do with it, is your choice.
I know most people don’t understand me or understand us. I am just starting to. I’m understanding that I don’t want to live in this life without you next to me. I have done it and I didn’t like it.
Meet me tonight, at that place. You know that place. The place where it all started.
Liam – Black
I drop the letter, why would he ask me back there. He knows how I feel about
that place
. I can’t go back there, I’m shaking at just the thought of it. I read the letter again and again. It calms me, he calms me. I laugh at it, then smile at it. I want to see him laugh, I want to see him smile. I think I’m the only person who’s had that privilege—to see him smile. He doesn’t do it often, hardly ever. And he should, well he should for me. It makes my heart beat fast, my belly fly with butterflies and my toes curl.
I open the case, it’s not a case I want to open. I hate guns, as a matter of fact I despise them. They bring nothing but hurt, pain, and danger. The case is shiny, the inside is fitted perfectly. I don’t know much, but I can see this case was made for this gun.
Broken
It’s inscribed into the handle of the gun.
Is that how he sees himself?
As a broken man?
I haven’t removed myself from the car. I want to just sit in it and not shift. I can’t even bring myself to look out the side window. I drove here, but I can’t move, I can’t get out.
I don’t know how long I sit there for. I think part of me is in shock, it doesn’t want to move, it doesn’t want the danger that could possibly follow what is to come once I step outside.
A knock comes at my window, my hands slam onto the steering wheel. I scream until I hear his voice.
“Rose.”
“Why would you ask me to come here?” my voice is high, I realize I just screamed that at him. I try breathing slowly, to try to calm my heart down.
“I think you needed to, to come back here with me.”