“You promised me,” Liam says, and I’m lost again. It’s like a movie is playing out and I’m here to just watch.
“I did, and I did protect her, I still am. Get off your high horse and come back to the now.” They turn to look at me. I turn to see where Sax is, who has not said a word at all. He’s watching me.
“Do you want to leave?” he asks, as I turn back to Liam. He wouldn’t put me in danger. I don’t see Robbie as a danger. So I shake my head. He nods his head and turns back to look at the boys.
“What do you know of Robbie’s family?” Jake asks me. I try to think, I’ve known him for over five years and never met any of them so I shake my head. “How do you think they found you, that night on the lake?” Jake asks me again.
Robbie moans from where he is, his eyes going large, so I watch him with interest.
“They followed us?” I say to Jake, but my eyes are on Robbie, his eyes are wide, he is worried, my mind is going back to that night, a night I don’t want to go back to.
“They didn’t,” Liam says. He pulls me from it, he does those things to me. He stands with a bit of distance between us. I can still feel all of him there for me.
“What do you mean?” I don’t fully understand what’s going on. Why won’t they just say it?
“Robbie told them about you. You didn’t want him, you wanted Black,” Jake says, I feel sick like I might throw up any second now.
“It’s not true, is it Robbie? You wouldn’t do that to my family and me?”
A strangle cry comes from him, I watch his mouth when he tries to open it. His teeth are missing, his mouth’s full of blood. “That’s not the only reason, he’s also my brother. He didn’t like it that Pres favored Black, counting him as his son and not Robbie.” The anger has climbed, it’s like a snake, wrapping itself up me, starting from the bottom, crawling its way to the top.
“That’s how Ru found us that night, Robbie told him where we were.” The snake is now in my hands, and those hands have reached for Liam’s gun. He doesn’t see it coming, he’s actually too slow to stop me. I grab the gun, pull the trigger, it's loud, deafening my ears. Robbie screams and Liam pulls me backward.
“Drop the gun, Rose,” he whispers into my ear from my back. I open my eyes, Robbie’s head is hung over, my hands shake, the gun still tightly wrapped in my hands. I feel my finger still on the trigger, my hand frozen in fear. “Rose, come back to me.” His voice is sweet, I doubt that it’s him at first, it can’t be. He isn’t sweet, he’s anything but. But when I feel his lips and beard on my cheek, the gun drops from my hand. Sax picks it up straight away. Liam wraps me tightly, my whole body shaking. “You didn’t kill him, Rose, you didn’t.” I manage to open my eyes, Jake’s staring at us, with me wrapped in Liam’s arms.
“I didn’t kill him?” I ask Jake, who stands near Robbie, and he shakes his head.
“It skimmed his head, there’s a bit of blood and he passed out. He will live, for a bit,” he says lifting his head showing me the blood then dropping his head back down.
Sax walks to the front, his form towers over me. His eyes squint as they look down at me, then he looks behind me to Liam, nods his head and bends down to lift me.
“No!” I say shaking my head, pulling myself from the arms of him.
“I think you need to rest,” Sax says, talking to me, looking at Liam.
“You expect me to rest?” A laugh bubbles from my chest, Sax looks at me unexpectedly. “Really?” My hands are shaking and flying around my face. “I just shot a person, you bloody idiots.” Liam takes Sax place in front of me.
“You did.”
“I did,” I say nodding my head. My hands stop moving, my body going to shock, the picture on replay in my mind.
“Welcome to the dark side,” Jake says, I completely forgot he was there, his voice penetrates my mind, and I lose it. My fist goes flying, in any direction to whoever is closest to me, I feel the hardness of Liam’s chest when I punch, he doesn’t move, but it hurts my hands. He stands there while I do it, letting me take it out on him.
“I don’t want to be on your motherfucking dark side, you fucks!” I scream, my fists have stopped, my hands clenched to my sides. Turning to leave, I know he’s following behind me, so I turn fast once we are near my car.
“Get away from me Liam Black, before I say some very hurtful things to you.”
He goes to take a step forward, I raise my hand to signal him to stop and he does.
“You’re angry?”
“Ding dong, you’re fucking clever tonight aren’t you?”
“At me? At us?”
“Damn tootin’ I am, both you and Jake. Fuck you both and your fucked up lives. Stop bringing me down with you!” Opening my door, I hear his voice when I enter.
“I didn’t want it for you, Rose.”
“You didn’t give me much of a choice in the matter of loving you, did you? Your stupid eyes, stupid smile, stupid silent, stupid, stupid heart…” His head drops and I know I need to shut up, so I don’t look at him when I drive away, but it’s incredibly hard not to.
Jake walks out, I haven’t been able to move. I have been staring at the space where her car was parked, trying to think. Trying to work out what is the best thing to do. He doesn’t say much, just stands next to me. Staring off as well.
“He may say he’s my brother, but he isn’t my brother.” I turn to his words, they’re soft, unlike him. “You are that.” I nod my head, he is that for me. Has been since we were teenagers.
“Are you going to kill him?” He said he would, but the reaction from Rose might have him back peddling.
“I don’t know, she
will
hate me.”
“She will,” I agree.
“Maybe slice him up a bit more, then send him packing?” He nods his head. He takes a few steps then stands in front of me, his face mixed with emotions, but the main one I can see is determination.
“I’m leaving, Black, I’m leaving tomorrow.” I knew it was coming. It’s what he wants, he doesn’t want to stay somewhere and watch what may or may not happen between Rose and me. I don’t even know what will happen.
“I need some favors first.”
His eyebrows raise in surprise. “Tell me.”
“I need a steel coffin.”
His mouth hangs open, then shuts. “You’re joking, right?”
“No, and I need it by tonight.”
“Where the fuck am I meant to find a coffin? Let alone a steel one?”
“Your boys are good with steel, ring them and tell them I need it,
now.
”
“They hate you.”
He shakes his head in disbelief.
“They don’t hate you.”
He nods his head and goes back to staring out into nothing but gravel road and long grass.
“You better go after her.” His arms are crossed, his lips are tight.
“She needs time.”
“She doesn’t. Go…
now,
” he says as he stops clenching his fists, then he turns and walks back to the house.
The drive is quiet, I try to think of the best possible thing to say to her, I am not good with words, so I come up blank every time. I see her car parked in the driveway, and as I look closer, I see she is still in it, sitting there, doing nothing. She jumps when I open the door, her face red from anger or hurt, I am not sure which one.
“Should we talk?” I give her the option, she sits there playing with her fingers.
A moment of silence passes before her eyes seek mine and she speaks. “I think it may be best.”
“What do you need from me?”
“If you would have asked me that question a few months ago, the answer would have been simple.”
“It’s not as simple anymore?” she shakes her head. “It’s not.”
“It’s who I am.”
She rolls her eyes, her mouth goes tight. “It’s who you know, who you think you are, it’s not who you are.”
“You think love changes things, Rose? Do you? Love is just a cover up, it’s not who you are.”
“Don’t bullshit me, I can’t handle more shit today.” She steps from the car, her back against the door, her eyes dance from the floor up to me. I step closer, my hand moves up, the same time her hand comes up in defense, stopping me by touching my chest. The only hands I ever want to touch me there again. I lean in close, my mouth near her ear, her breathing becomes heavier.
“You’ve hurt me, not put us first, even after you remembered. I need time, Liam, I need to work out what’s best for us, for our family. And right now, it can’t have you in it while I work it out.” A sob breaks free. “I can’t believe I just said those words to you, to you of all people. The person who I love that holds me so tightly that I find it hard to breathe.”
“It’s okay to think of yourself, Rose, most people do. Think for yourself, I’ll be here. I will always be here, just maybe not in the manner in which you need me to be.”
I kiss her cheek, she closes her eyes. I kiss her again, moving closer and closer to her lips with each kiss. My lips touch the edges of hers. She opens, giving me access to her and the kiss is beautiful, unlike our previous kisses. This one speaks of missed time, hello, as well as goodbye. I can feel her passion toward it, her hands are everywhere now, up and down my back, on my face, through my hair. I am exactly the same, trying with each beat to get her to me, to keep her locked to me.
Then she pulls away, stepping away from me, gaining distance from us.
“You should go.” She wipes at her lips, taking me off of her, any trace of me now gone.
I reach up to touch her one last time, her face, her hand, anywhere. But she pulls away even more. My hand drops so I turn leaving her standing there, leaving a piece of me behind with her.
A few hours later, in a place I haven’t been back to, I stand there as my phone starts to ring. I want to ignore it, I don’t want to hear anything anyone has to say. I look to the screen, it’s Jake.
“You owe me so fucking big,” are his first words.
“Jake,” I warn him.
“Okay, okay. The boys did it. You’re extremely lucky that they had everything. It’s built.”
“It’s done?”
“Yes.”
“What do you plan to do once you have done this?”
“I don’t know.”
“You do know, you will do whatever is possible to keep her and to make her happy. She deserves it.”
“Are you my Fairy Godmother now?” His laugh vibrates through my phone.