Reclaiming Angelica (5 page)

“But—”

“But nothing. You’re playing human, trying to protect
yourself. He’s doing the same for probably the same reason, and both of you are
miserable because you can’t really lower your guard and just be real with each
other like you want to be. What kind of love is that, when you have to hide who
you are from each other?”

Angelica ran an agitated hand through her hair. “Sophie, I
hear what you’re saying, but—”

“Angelica,” Sophie interrupted again. “Be honest with
yourself. Do you love Raul? Really love him?”

“You know I do.”

“Yeah, hon, I do. Now answer me this. Do you believe Raul
loves you?”

Earlier her answer would have been a definite yes. Now she
hesitated, nibbling on her lower lip. “He acts like I’m his mate.”

“That’s not what I asked. Lord, woman, I’ve never known you
to act so…so…
human
. Does the wolf
love you or not?” she asked, exasperation in every word.

Angelica thought about it, hard, and realized she was
letting her fear and insecurities cause her to project. She knew Raul. Knew his
thoughts, his words, his very feelings. He loved her. It showed in everything
he did. “Yes,” she answered finally. “Yes, he does.”

Sophie let the silence linger, probably sensing that
Angelica was still working through everything in her head. Finally, Angelica
said, “You’re right, you know.”

“Of course I am.” There was a pause. “What am I right about
this time?”

Angelica heard the smile in Sophie’s voice, and it made her
smile in return.

“Raul is scared. I never realized that before, probably
because I was too focused on me. I was pushing him, all but telling the man I
knew what his silly secret was, and instead of just confessing, he had a
full-blown panic attack.”

“Did you ever consider that maybe there’s a deep, dark
reason Raul hasn’t told you he’s a shifter? The man’s an alpha. They just don’t
do panic attacks. Whatever’s going on with him, it’s got to be serious. How
much do you know about his past?”

“Not much,” Angelica admitted slowly. “He doesn’t really
talk about it. To be honest, neither of us talks about our families or our
past. We’ve been focused on the here and now.” She knew why she hadn’t told
Raul about her family, but for the first time she wondered at his reasons.
Shifters were all about families, both the blood kind and pack. She knew his
pack, but not once had he mentioned his parents or any siblings. Now that she was
thinking about it, it was beyond strange.

“Honey, one of you has to break pattern. I suggest you call
your wolf, cook him a prime steak—rare, of course—apologize for not being open
with him, and then tell him what’s in your heart. Speaking of food, when’s the
last time you fed?”

Angelica had to think. “I don’t know. The Thirst hasn’t
really been on my mind.”

Sophie sighed. “Angelica, need I remind you you’re a
vampire?”

“Only half,” Angel protested.

“Yeah, well, while the human half can get away with food
consumption, you know your vamp nature needs blood. No wonder you aren’t
thinking straight. Look, put on something sexy. It’s Friday. The Warehouse will
be packed. Prime hunting ground. Have yourself a snack, and you’ll find you
feel much better.”

Feed while Raul was in
town and could possibly catch her in the act?
“Oh no, I don’t think—”

“Half an hour. Don’t keep me waiting,” Sophie ordered before
disconnecting the line.

Damn!
Sophie was
just ruthless enough to carry her out of the house kicking and screaming. Being
a full vampire, Sophie was much stronger than she. Angelica forced herself up
and into the shower. Minutes later she stood before the mirror with a towel
wrapped around her, examining her bare shoulders and neck.

She’d feel a lot more confident in Raul’s undying commitment
to her if she were wearing his mark. Shifters marked their mates. It was
instinct, but Raul hadn’t marked her. Had he done so, he’d have known as soon
as he got a taste of her blood exactly what she was. Damphyr—half vampire, half
human.

Angelica wasn’t ashamed of her heritage—she loved her gypsy
mother and vampire father dearly—but there was no denying a lot of shifters
felt the only good vampire was a dead one which was okay, since vamps tended to
feel the same about them. She had no idea how Raul would feel once he
discovered he’d sort of mated one. Or maybe he knew, and that’s why he’d denied
her his mark. Or maybe she really wasn’t his mate like she believed. He loved
her. She knew he did, but maybe it was the man that wanted her, and his wolf
only tolerated her.

She hissed, frustrated with herself. Sophie was right. She
was acting human, or chickenshit, Angelica thought, borrowing one of Raul’s
favorite terms.

Okay, Angelica, stick
to the facts. Raul loves you and treats you like his mate. His pack gives you
the loyalty and respect only an alpha’s mate should command. You love him and
know, deep down inside where it counts, that he’s your mate. You want to bond
with him. Need to bond with him to the point where it’s a physical ache
.
Stop letting fear guide your actions, she mentally lectured.

So what if a lot of the old ones in the paranormal
community, like her father, were against cross-species mating. Never mind he’d
done so himself by mating her mother. Hell, her father didn’t even want her
mating with another vampiric line although he’d probably prefer it to her
mating a human or an animal, as he thought of shifters. What he really wanted
was for her to mate a vampire from their family line, his chosen successor
since Angel, being half human, wasn’t strong enough to inherit his position on
the senate.

With her mother’s help, she’d been able to put him off, but
he was becoming more insistent as time passed, and it looked as though she’d
remain unmated. She could hardly tell him about Raul. Nor could she tell Raul
about her father and his machinations, as long as they both were pretending to
be human. The only way her father would back off was if she found her mate,
which she had, and mated him in the vampire way, making the mating binding,
which she hadn’t.

Finding one’s mate was supposed to be part instinct and part
fate, wasn’t it? Fate had done its job and brought the two of them together.
Now she needed to have more faith in Raul and in herself and finish the mating
process.

Outside a horn blew. Angelica glanced at the bedside clock
and then cursed under her breath. She’d wasted too much time brooding. Picking
up her phone, she texted Sophie that she’d be right down and then hurriedly
dressed.

Raul drove the twenty minutes or so it took to reach the old
logging trail turned hunting grounds on the outskirts of town. There he pulled
to the side of the road and into the brush. With the dark night and lack of
streetlights, no one would see his vehicle unless they drove up on it.

Moving quickly, he kicked off his loafers and yanked free of
his clothing. He’d barely gotten the door closed before his wolf burst free.
The change was so violent Raul cried out in pain. His wolf was up and running
before Raul’s senses fully returned.

He let his beast have its head, knowing it had been chained
too long. After tonight’s emotional storm, it felt good to shed his human
consciousness and allow his animal counterpart be in the driver’s seat. Hunting
season hadn’t started so he didn’t have to worry about having his hide shot
full of bullets. Besides, his wolf was a predator, more than capable of
protecting itself from human and animal aggression.

He ran aimlessly for miles, enjoying the stretch and pull of
muscles stiff from lack of use. He inhaled air free of the stench of human
congestion and pollution. The night was quiet with only the sounds of his paws
striking the earth, and the occasional cry of a night hunter to be heard. No
horns, no loud music, no civilization. Just nature in all its glory.

Raul zoned out and let the peace sink soul-deep. When he
finally roused himself to awareness again, he discovered he was in familiar
territory. Seemed his beast’s run hadn’t been as aimless as he’d believed.

He broke through the trees and entered the clearing
surrounding a home he knew as well as his own. He should. It was where he’d
grown up after his father’s death. As he approached the door, it opened, and
his Uncle Joey stepped out onto the porch.

Raul whined in happy greeting and sat on his haunches, his
front paws dancing merrily while his tail wagged like a metronome.

“Well, don’t just sit there. Come in,” Uncle Joey invited.
He held the door open in invitation.

Raul trotted past his uncle into the living room. Home. It
had been too long since his last visit.

Uncle Joey closed the door behind him. “Go on into your
room. You should find a pair of your old sweats that might still fit. Change
and come out and talk. I’ll have a beer waiting for you.”

Raul padded down the hall to his room. Lots had changed in
the pack over the years. Both Uncle Dillion and Uncle Max now had wives and
families of their own. Only Uncle Joey still lived in the old pack house,
though the others hadn’t settled too far away. Of his uncles, Uncle Joey was
the one Raul was closest to and the one to which he instinctively turned
whenever he needed guidance in life. It really wasn’t surprising that he found
himself here tonight.

When he came out the room, Uncle Joey was seated in his
favorite old recliner in front of the big-screen television, remote control in
his hand. He gestured with it to the coffee table. “There’s your beer. Sit down
and tell me what’s troubling you.”

Raul didn’t question how his uncle knew something was
bothering him. He simply popped the top and took a long swig before saying, “I
met a woman.”

“Ah, woman troubles.” Uncle Joey muted the television. “Tell
me about her.”

He mentally flipped through all the things he could tell his
uncle about Angelica. Finally he decided on the most important issue. “She’s my
mate. She’s human and doesn’t know what I am, but I think she’s suspicious.”

When his uncle said nothing, Raul found himself continuing.
“I met her through our business. She’s a bails bondsman and contacted us on a case.
I took the call. Since then she’s referred a good bit of business our way. I
was instantly attracted, just from hearing her voice, but tried to fight it.
Then I met her in person and it got worse, but still I tried to deny what my
senses were telling me. But my wolf…” Raul took another long drink of his beer,
remembering. “It latched on to her scent and wouldn’t let go. I couldn’t stay
away from her.”

“Do you love this woman?” Uncle Joey asked in his serious
manner.

“Yes.”

‘Then tell her.”

Raul shakily set the bottle on the coffee table. Surely he’d
misunderstood. “Tell her what?”

“Tell her what you are. Let her see the whole of who you
are.”

“But…but…she’s human,” he repeated, thinking his uncle must
not have heard him clearly the first time.

“I know.”

Raul could only stare at him. “But Poppa said—”

“Raul, I loved your father. He was more than my alpha. He
was my brother, and I still miss him today, but your father was wrong. Do you
know why your mother left?”

Because of me, he thought but couldn’t say. All these years
later, and he still couldn’t admit to anyone other than himself that his
mother’s leaving, his father’s death, all of it was his fault. Instead he gave
his standard answer. “She found out what Poppa, what we both were, and she
couldn’t handle…” Raul’s words trailed off as he noted his uncle repeatedly
shaking his head from side to side.

“Your mother left your father because he didn’t trust her
with who he was,” Uncle Joey said flatly.

“No! She left because Poppa wasn’t human.”

Joey pinched the bridge of his nose and muttered a few soft
curses. His action made Raul feel four again, trying to understand as his
father explained Momma wasn’t ever coming back. “What are you saying, Uncle
Joey?”

“I’m saying that after your dad died, I tracked your mother
down and had a long talk with her.”

Raul felt like he’d been poleaxed. His jaw gaped, but he
couldn’t close it. Words tumbled around in his mind, disjointed, but he
couldn’t pull enough of them together to speak with any type of coherency.

Uncle Joey took pity on him and kept talking. “You were
almost six at the time. She wasn’t hard to trace. She hadn’t gone far, just the
next town over to where her best friend lived. I told her Paul was dead and
asked what she wanted to do about you.”

The dull ache in his heart lingering from his mother’s
abandonment grew teeth and rent at his flesh. “Momma knew Poppa was dead, and
she still didn’t want me?”

Raul vaulted to his feet to pace the room, no longer able to
be still. His gaze bounced around the walls, taking in the various photos
showing his stages of development. None of them showed a proud, glowing mother.

It shouldn’t matter that he now had confirmation his momma
didn’t want him. Over the years he’d managed to convince himself that maybe his
mother really hadn’t intended to leave him behind. That she’d given him to his
father because she knew Poppa wouldn’t have let him go.

Joey sighed. “It’s not that cut-and-dried.”

Raul paced to the window and stood looking at the dark
glass. “It’s okay. I knew that just like with Poppa, Momma couldn’t stand the
thought of what I am. If she’d really loved me, loved us, she wouldn’t have
left.” After all, she’d said so herself.
“Mommas
always love their sons, Raul, and their sons’ daddies. No matter what.”
She’d left because she no longer loved them.

The admission hit his heart like a blow as he thought of
Angel. If she really loved him, would she have left him? Depression settled on
him like a cloud. His one hope had been that in spite of Angel’s
incomprehensible actions, she really loved him. Now he no longer knew what to
believe.