Reckless Together: A Contemporary New Adult College Romance (The Reckless Series) (4 page)

Right now, though, his hatred of writing wasn't the problem. No matter how much he tried to concentrate on his essay, his thoughts drifted back to El naked in his bed. To making love with her for the first time last night and the heady feeling of her being his. He grew hard at the memory and ached with palpable, pounding need to touch her again.
 

El told him early on that if she ever gave herself to him, she'd never be able to stop making love with him. He hoped that was true. If it were up to him, she'd never leave his bed. Initially, her innocence had appealed to him. Now he wanted to make a real, experienced woman out of her.

He had a fantasy of shower sex. El naked and glistening with water droplets. Hot and wet in the steam. Ready for him.

He had to stop thinking these thoughts.

El wasn't like any girl he'd ever dated or casually screwed. She was gorgeous and totally unaware of her power over guys. Sweet and seductive without trying. Vulnerable and strong at the same time. A study in opposites. He loved her. He wanted to protect her. And damn it, he would. Especially from her first-class bitch of a mother. Bitch in constant heat. Melissa Sawyer was a piece of work. But she didn't know whom she was up against.
 

His cell phone rang. He answered without looking at the number, hoping it was El.

"Logan! The phone barely rang. Were you waiting for my call?"

Logan's heart stopped for the instant it took him to recognize the voice. "Melissa."
 

She sounded so much like El it was unnerving, right down to her tinkling laugh. Only hers was edged with manipulation and confidence, while El's was always genuine and pure.

"I just got off the phone with Ellie," Melissa said. "Congratulations on finally screwing my daughter. You have succeeded where other fine, horny young men have failed. My hat's off to you."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" El wouldn't have told her mother.

"Exactly! You're so cute denying it. Go ahead and brag. I'm not your typical mother. I'm actually proud. Glad to know my daughter's no longer a prude."

"El didn't tell you anything."

"She didn't have to. I heard it in the glow in her voice and the fierce way she protected you and told me to stay away from you. She's crazy for you, Logan. You should be thrilled."

Logan swallowed hard, fighting a tic in his jaw.

"A word of friendly warning from her mama bear—don't hurt my kid, Logan Walker. Treat her nicely. She's glommed onto you. I expect you to stick with her, at least for a while. I hope you're not the kind who puts a notch on his bedpost and moves on."

"What do you want?" he said.

"Diversionary tactics—nice. I knew there's a reason we get along so well. I'm actually calling to tell you I took your advice and now I'm coming to Mom's Weekend. Isn't that wonderful?"

Logan scowled, wary. "What advice?"

She laughed. "You must be in a study fog. Your sage advice about waiting and giving Ellie time to cool off and come to her senses so she could see that she needs her mother."

"She invited you?" he asked, stunned. He couldn't believe El would. How had Melissa twisted her arm?

"No, of course not! I invited myself. But she didn't refuse me." She laughed again like she'd scored a great triumph. "So we'll be seeing each other soon. I'm looking forward to meeting your family. Your mom
is
coming?"

Logan cursed beneath his breath, recognizing a grandmaster manipulating him. The gentle flirt in her voice put him on guard. She could be charming, even when she was being diabolical. She toyed with emotions and lives as if it came naturally to her.
 

She'd claimed all along that she wanted a relationship with El and nothing more. He didn't believe her. He recognized another damaged person when he saw one. She wanted something more. If he had to guess, her motives were purely selfish. She wanted to feel good. She wanted to be adored. She wanted to be young again and live through her daughter. Melissa's problem was that she wasn't content to live through El. She wanted to
be
El.

"I have no idea," he said. He hoped not.

"What are you waiting for? Call and invite her!"

"Why?"

"Why not? Now that her boy is sleeping with my baby, we should all meet each other, don't you think?"

"Not a good idea. You won't like my mom."

"You mean she won't like me!" Melissa laughed again, almost manically bright. "No answer? You're not going to rush to reassure me that's not the case? That she'll absolutely love me?

"Don't worry. Save yourself the trouble. Very few women like me. It doesn't bother me. I've learned to live with it. But I'd like to meet the woman who raised the man my daughter is crazy for."

Logan wondered where Melissa was getting her information. El would never have talked to Melissa about him. If she was trying to flatter him, she had failed in the attempt.

Melissa changed the direction of the conversation abruptly. "Has the court set a date for your testimony? It has to be coming up."

"My lawyer called Friday. I'm set to testify against
Her
the week after Mom's Weekend."

Her
was Dr. Rhonda Rogers, his former chemistry professor and rapist. Despite attempts to get Dr. Rogers to plead guilty to multiple counts of rape and save her victims the embarrassment and agony, she had insisted on going to trial. She was crazy. Certifiable. Logan had to stop her. His dad was furious at him for insisting on going to court to testify. The old man could go to hell. Logan needed this. This and his work with Kelsie at CAPSA, the Campus Alliance to Prevent Sexual Assault, kept him sane.

"Oh, baby. That's
rough
." Melissa's tone changed to genuine sympathy. He liked her better when he caught a glimpse of the real Melissa, not the troubled woman. The Melissa who reminded him of El.

Every time she came out, he vowed to protect El so that she never became her mother—permanently damaged.

"I don't know what to tell you. It's going to be excruciating. Embarrassing. Infuriating. She'll be there right in front of you, staring you down, trying to intimidate you and daring you to defy her…"
 

She sighed, sounding almost faraway and lost in old, tormenting thoughts. "The courtroom will be small, so much smaller and more intimate than they look on TV. That's part of the reason—" She cut herself off.

He heard her take a deep breath.

"It's why I chickened out in the end and didn't come forward as one of his victims." She paused again, like she needed to screw up her courage to talk about it. "I went to the courthouse and sat in on a different rape trial just after it happened. When the victim testified against the bastard who raped her, he stared her down, full of rage, looking like she was trash, not him.
 

"He was an animal. A filthy, disgusting piece of what could barely be called humanity. His lawyers weren't much better, bringing up her love life, how many sex partners she'd had…"
 

All these years later her voice wavered with fear and there was a shade of frightened girl in it just beneath the surface. "I couldn't face it. But I paid the price in other ways. Such a great price."

Her voice became hard again. The girl disappeared. "Never mind. It was a long time ago. You'll survive it. Like I did. You either survive or die. What other choice do you have? If you die, even on the inside, they've won. Don't give her that power.
Never
give her
anything
but justice."
 

He hoped he survived it a hell of a lot better than Melissa had. But he was no different from her, really, and that scared the shit out of him.
 

"There are two main ways victims cope after a rape," Melissa said. "Remind the jury of that if the lawyers drag up your sex life. You either retreat into yourself and are afraid of sex. Or you become super sexually active to prove that sex doesn't defeat or own you. Each reaction is completely normal.

"I liked sex. I wouldn't let it beat me. So I became the local slut. If anyone had known I'd been raped, they would have believed I deserved it. Don't you ever believe you deserved it. Do you hear me, Logan?"

"Yeah."
 

After his rape, Logan had gone crazy. Hypersexual, his counselor called it. He'd slept with so many girls he'd lost count. He didn't remember half of them. Being a guy had its advantages—he gained a reputation as a great lover. No one but him and his counselor knew his real motivation.

"How is your work with the Campus Alliance for the Prevention of Sexual Assault going? What do you call it, CAPSA?"

"They've been supportive, even though their mission is geared ninety-nine percent toward women. Working with them has been healing. After that reporter outed me as one of the victims, I didn't have much choice. I could hide or fight back and protect others."

"Logan, the good superhero," Melissa said without being condescending or belittling in any way. "At least you have a group to talk to. And you're still one of the security escorts for women walking alone?"

"I help out as often as I can."

"Does Ellie know what you do?"

"Only if she's read the campus news during the time we were apart. I haven't specifically told her."

"You should. Tell her about the nasty emails, too. She'll understand. My kid is sympathetic and has a good head. She'll help you deal with them. Have you received any lately?"

Logan snorted. "Only like every day. I'm not sharing that vile shit with El. It's the last thing she needs."

"Logan—"

"I know what I'm doing."

"Yeah, I'm sure you do. We all think we do, anyway. Just think about it, Logan. Take it from me—it's way too easy to make a mistake right now. Let Ellie in."
 

In keeping with her mercurial mood changes, Melissa laughed again. But it was definitely forced and bitter this time. "Maybe you'll get lucky at trial. They sure as hell can't accuse you of wearing tight skirts and low-cut blouses that enticed the attack."
 

She paused. "You're a
hot
young man, Logan. Let's hope there's a double standard still in existence and they won't use your sex appeal against you, like I'm sure they would have against me."

She wielded their common experience expertly, using it to get close to him. He saw through her, but felt a bond with her all the same. She was one of the few people he could talk frankly to without embarrassment. Unlike his father, she never judged.

"There is a double standard. A much worse one—women can't rape men, remember? I'm not a rape victim at all, just a horny guy who likes older women."
 

Every time he thought of
Her
, which was the only way he could think about Dr. Rogers—she was his she-who-shall-not-be-named—his palms went cold and clammy, bile rose in his throat, and he felt like vomiting. Now was no different. He felt broken and didn't bother hiding it from Melissa.

"Oh, Logan, sweet boy. Don't talk like that.
Ever
." Her voice cracked with sympathy but her tone was fierce. "It was too bad you weren't underage when it happened. That bitch was smart, preying on college guys. They've put many female teachers away for statutory. But there
were
drugs involved. That takes away consent. The court will
have
to find her guilty. You'll have to make them."
 

Her voice grew hard and determined. "With any luck, they'll lock her up for life and throw away the key. If you ever need to talk, I'm here. Anytime."
 

Against his better judgment, Logan had sympathized with Melissa from the beginning. No matter what her other faults were, it was good to talk with her because she understood.

"Are you ever going to tell El about your past?" He wondered why she hadn't.

"Maybe. Someday."

"She'd be more sympathetic toward you."

Melissa laughed again. "I don't wear sympathy well. I've had way too much of it already. I certainly don't want any from my baby girl."

Logan understood her position all too well. He was damned tired of sympathy.

"There are some things a parent protects a child from. This is one of them." Melissa sounded almost vulnerable again. "You
promised
you wouldn't tell her."