Reckless Together: A Contemporary New Adult College Romance (The Reckless Series) (23 page)

"That is so totally adorable." El's voice caught. "But you know this is completely dangerous. Our moms are going to hate each other."

"Fine. They hate each other. Not our problem. They'll have to deal with it." Logan took a deep breath, relieved. "Can I pick you up early? I miss you."
 

Chapter Sixteen

Ellie

I woke up next to Logan on Friday morning with my heart thumping with anxiety. Today was the first day of the weekend, followed by the week I'd been dreading for too long.
 

Next to me, Logan was sound asleep on his back. I sat up and stared at him like I couldn't get enough of him. And I couldn't. Not ever. I was absolutely riveted as I watched him sleep.
 

His hair flopped over his forehead in that bed-head way that made me happy and possessive. I was the one waking up next to him.
Me
.
Ellie Martin
. He was mine. I was going to fight to keep him, even if that meant going up against my mom, the cougar queen.

His jaw was firm and covered with dark stubble that made me want to run my smooth cheek up against the masculine grain of it until I got a whisker burn. He was so adorably hot. His face was relaxed and peaceful, like the Logan I first met. Lately it had been taut and stressed. My heart ached for him. I wanted this whole thing to be over. Now. Happily resolved. I kept trying to picture it, as if I could wish it into being.

He slept naked. Deliciously, tantalizingly naked, with his arms over his head and his chest exposed above the covers, his nipples poking out. They looked so totally suckable. But what was beneath the covers was even harder to resist. Logan asleep with a hard-on.

My fingers tingled as I thought of touching him. Stroking him. Watching his relaxed, even breathing grow excited and deep. His lips were moist and slightly open, practically begging to be kissed.

I slid off the T-shirt I'd been sleeping in and climbed on top of him, straddling him with my legs. Rubbing against his hard dick through my panties as I rested my head against his chest and traced the line of his biceps.

He woke with a start and a gasp and a blank expression. The kind of emptiness like he was looking faraway into a dream, or a nightmare. Before I could react, he grabbed me and shoved me off him. "Get away from me!"

I curled into a ball next to him, stunned. Hurt. Saddened. "It's me, Logan. Just me."

At the sound of my voice, he blinked like he was really waking now. He was breathing rapidly as he squinted at me. "El?"

"Yeah, it's me." My voice was tiny and tentative.

He grabbed me and pulled me to him, the whole ball of me, uncurling me until he was smashing my breasts against his chest. "Shit. Sorry about that."

I winced. My breasts were tender and sore. I had a momentary pulse of anxiety. My period was either imminent or I was pregnant. Why was nature so cruel, sending mixed signals, giving the same symptoms for totally opposite conditions?

I laid my hand on Logan's chest, trying to calm both of us. His heart hammered rapidly, like it had just had an adrenaline hit. He hung on to me as if he was afraid I was going to run away.
 

"It's okay," I said, hoping it really was.

"No, it's not." He took a deep breath, but it didn't mask the anger and frustration in his voice.

"I shouldn't have startled you." I cuddled into him, feeling emotional, sentimental, and on the verge of tears. This was all going wrong. "I was trying to wake you with a hug."

"You can still wake me with a hug. Or something better." He stroked my breast.

I tried not to wince. As he reached between my legs, I felt a cramp and a sudden rush of warmth. "No!" I pulled away from him and ran to the bathroom, leaving him calling after me.

I sat on the toilet, shaking, and looked between my legs. A red streak of blood curled into the water of the toilet. I put my head in my hands. My emotions were jumbled and contradictory—relief and disappointment. Not that I wanted to be pregnant, just that this was the most inconvenient time for my period to hit. Just when I had to go head to head with my mom.

Logan knocked on the door. "El? El, you okay?"

No, I wasn't okay. I was the furthest thing from okay—totally crappy. Fat and sore and emotional. And worst of all, insecure. About everything.
 

"El?"

"I'm fine." I wanted to cry.

There was an uncomfortable pause. "Do you need anything?"

"No. I'm fine. I'll be out in a minute."

I heard him hesitate outside the door. Finally his footsteps receded and I drew a deep breath. I got up and got a tampon from my bag. My chin itched. When I looked in the mirror, there was a giant red zit on the end of it. One of those hideous things that no amount of makeup could cover, not even with the tricks Mom had taught me.

Crap, crap, crap, crap! I leaned on the counter and hung my head, trying to breathe deeply and focus, just focus on the goal.
 

I didn't want Logan walking in and catching me in what I was about to do. Some beauty treatments are best left unseen. I locked the door, which rattled like it was telling on me. I heard Mom's voice in my head:
Do not squeeze
.
You'll scar.

But I was so tempted. I grabbed a washcloth. Ran the water until it steamed like Mom had taught me. Soaked the cloth, wrung it out, and covered the pimple, holding it there until the cloth cooled. Then I rubbed at the zit until it burst and I scrubbed it out.

I stared into the mirror.
Better.
But I couldn't let Logan see me yet. I jumped into the shower.

Half an hour later, I was showered and dressed, with my hair drying and my makeup on. When I opened the bathroom door, Logan was sitting on the bed, waiting for me, looking so sweetly apologetic I wanted to hold him.

"I'm sorry, El." His Adam's apple bobbed. "I wasn't awake. I was startled. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

"I know. You didn't. We're fine."
 

"We're not fine. You locked me out." He held my gaze.
 

What could I say? I had, but I wasn't about to explain. "I needed some time by myself."

"El, don't shut me out. I need you." He sprang to his feet. In two steps he was next to me, pulling me into him. He kissed the top of my head. "I mean it—I need you. I want you. That stupid sleepy me is just a douchebag. What does he know?" He lowered his voice into a sexy whisper. "Let's make up." He ran his hands down my arms. "This is our last chance for sex before the parents arrive."

I pulled back from him and shook my head. "I can't."

He held my arms. "El—"

I gave up and hung my head as I whispered, "My period started."

"Oh. Wow, the awake me is a douchebag, too."
 

I felt him staring at me and looked up at him. "You didn't know. Bad timing."
 

Then he grinned, looking relieved. Like this was all just female crap we could deal with.

"We'll get through it." His eyes were still begging me to forgive him.

"Yeah." I nodded. Staring at him—gorgeous, gorgeous Logan—all my insecurities surfaced. Logan was ten times the guy Austin was. Hotter, sexier, smarter, richer, funnier. How could Mom resist him?

"Promise me, Logan—absolutely swear to me that you will not let Mom trick you. Do not, absolutely do not, under any circumstance, let her get you alone."

He took a deep breath then opened his mouth like he was about to say something and thought better of it. He shut it again and paused. "There's nothing Melissa could do to take me from you. I'm yours, El.
Always
yours.
Faithfully
."

I bit my lip and blinked back tears. Stupid hormones.

He squeezed my arms. "Do you want me to be there with you when she arrives?"
 

I shook my head, thinking I didn't deserve him. "Your parents are flying in at noon. Didn't you agree to meet your mom and Caleb so your dad can go directly to the College of Business meeting?"

He nodded. "I can skip meeting them. Dad can drop them off at the hotel."

I shook my head. "You'll have your hands full. And the last thing I need is to get even farther on your mom's bad side."

"You mean there's more room on her bad side?"

"Stop teasing." I smiled slightly, took a deep breath, and looked away. "I'd rather meet Mom alone." I paused. I had to meet her privately and set her straight. She was not to touch Logan. Not even a handshake. "In case things get ugly." I laughed. I couldn't help it.

Logan frowned, looking puzzled by my lunatic behavior.

"What am I saying?" I looked back at him. "This is my mom. Things will definitely get ugly. Totally hideous. Maybe worse."
 

Logan cupped my face in his warm, reassuring hands and smiled at me. "Nice to see you still have a sense of humor about it." He stared into my eyes. "I think you still owe me one."

I stared into his eyes and teased him. "Do I? I've lost count. Odd time to bring it up. Are you calling it in? Will I ever be out of your debt?"
 

"Maybe. I saved your life, El. You're the one who insisted on owing me. Now I kind of like it." He caressed my cheek with his thumb.

I wanted to melt into him. Hide out. Run.

"Trust me on this," he said. "You're tough. You've proven that again and again. This is easy compared to what you've been through with her. You can deal with Melissa."

"Thanks for the pep talk, coach."

"I'm not finished. Shut up and listen." He kept staring at me like it was important I understood what he was about to say. "You have to get to the point where you let go of the anger and admit you love her because she's your mom. And that isn't going to change. That you can't cut her off. If you go there, you deal with whatever crap having her in your life means. And as irritating and frustrating as that is, it's part of the bargain and you don't let it rule you.

"Or you get to a place where you totally don't give a shit what she does one way or the other. Like, really not care at all. She could live. She could die. She could spend her life in prison. Or move away and you never see her again. She's just a person you used to know. She has no place in your life and no control at all."
 

He snorted, like he was mocking himself.
 

"The bliss of total apathy is not an easy place to reach. Fuck, I should know. You can't fake it. And that's the bitch of it."

I ached for him. I opened my mouth to say something that would inevitably sound hollow. He cut me off with a gentle kiss, just a brush of his lips against mine that sent waves of heat through me.

Then he sighed. "I'm not saying which way you should go. Only that each path means you let go of the anger you feel toward her. As long as you hang on to it, she controls you."

I nodded.

He gave me a crooked grin and pulled me into him, cradling me like he never wanted to let go. "You're not alone this time, El. She's not all you have. You have Jason, Lyssa, Mia, another baby half-sib on the way, and me. I'm on your side whatever you decide to do. We're on your side. Use this weekend to get to the place inside yourself where you have to go to be free. Listen to what Melissa has to say—"

"She won't say anything," I said. "She never does. She just—"

He kissed me to keep me from speaking, tickling the roof of my mouth with his tongue until I tingled with need. "I love you, El. All this crap—the nightmares, the trial, our parents—they won't change that. You and me can weather anything as long as we're together."

I looked into his eyes and wanted to believe him. Wanted so much it hurt. I'd believed in another guy once. Logically, I knew Logan wasn't him. That, like I said already, Logan Walker was ten times the guy Austin was. But as the saying goes, once bitten, twice shy. My mom was my nemesis and she was completely diabolical and utterly seductive. Irene Adler to Logan's Sherlock Holmes. And that was what scared me most. Who would outwit whom?

I made Logan take me to the grocery store on the way to campus so I could stock up on necessities—candied ginger and cinnamon to fight off bloating and cramps. By the time Logan dropped me off at class, I couldn't concentrate. He pulled in front of the business building. I hugged him and hung on to him until the cars stacked up behind us, honking.