Reckless (44 page)

I spun on my heel and Sienna grabbed my elbow. Her dark eyes bored into me. “You’re both overreacting,” she snapped. “It’s the reality of being in the public eye.
At least I’m trying to help Kellan’s career as well as my own. If I were truly as selfish as you believe me to be, than Kellan would be in
my
bed right now, not yours. But I
haven’t made a play for him because I respect your relationship.”

I scowled at her, hating that she thought she could win him so easily. She couldn’t. Kellan’s heart was fixed on me.

Releasing my arm, she relaxed and her tone softened. I found myself relaxing as well. “This media circus that he hates so much is going to happen regardless of my interference.” She
smiled, and a trace of warmth finally appeared on her face. “In case you haven’t noticed, Kellan is very attractive. And on top of his looks, he’s also very talented. That
combination has the uncanny ability of reducing the most sophisticated woman into a trembling teenager. I think even a happily married woman would consider shucking it all for one night with
him.”

A soft laugh escaped me. Yeah, I had to agree with that one. Kellan was just . . . desirable.

Sienna put her hand on my arm, almost in comfort. “Get used to it now, while he’s safely in my hands, because he’s going to be linked with every female that he comes in contact
with from here on out. It’s just how the business works.”

My heart sank, but I knew she was right. “But it’s different with your fans. More intense. They’ve turned you into a power couple . . . Kell-Sex.”

Sienna rolled her eyes. “God, that nickname. It’s awful, isn’t it?”

I smiled, feeling relieved for the first time. Since I felt we were being honest, I told her, “I’m afraid to touch him when we’re around other people. I’m afraid
we’ll be discovered, and the fans will turn on me.” Sighing, I asked her, “What do you think they would do if they knew about me?”

She shrugged, not too worried. “Bitch, moan, and crucify you online. I seriously doubt they would come after you with pitchforks or anything.” Her expression turned thoughtful and a
knot formed in my stomach. With a wave of her hand, she told me, “I doubt it would affect your relationship as negatively as you think.” Rubbing my arm, she gave me a best-friend smile.
“The fans would get over it. They love Kellan too much to dwell for long.”

She winked at me and then twisted to walk over to a vanity that had been set up for her. Picking up a tube of lipstick from the table, she leaned over and stared at her reflection.
“I’ll ease up on the cuddling, if it really bothers you that much.” She looked at me in the mirror, her gaze questioning.

“We would appreciate it . . . thank you.” She was consenting to our wishes, but it didn’t feel like a victory. I hesitated, then decided to ask her what I really wanted to ask
her. “Will you please say something to your fans? Tell them that Kellan is in a relationship? Don’t mention my name or anything,” I quickly added, “just help us try and stop
the rumor mill?”

Sienna took an inordinately long time applying a layer of deep red around her plump lips. When she was finished, she rubbed her lips together. “Sure thing, love.”

Thinking our meeting was over, I turned to leave as she gave herself one last look over. Her voice stopped me, though. “I’ve seen you writing backstage. How is your book
coming?”

Not realizing she’d seen that, I told her, “I’m just about done with it.”

Twisting to me, she sat on her vanity and stretched her arms out behind her. The mirror gave me a full shot of her outfit; the counter was pulling down the already low back of her jumpsuit, so I
could see the top of her ass. “I know people in the industry. Perhaps they could look at it when you’re finished?”

I sort of felt like accepting any help from Sienna would come with huge strings attached—cable-sized strings—and all of them would be tied to Kellan. So I only smiled and said,
“Thank you. I’ll keep that in mind.”

Sienna dismissed me with a friendly wave, and I left her room not quite sure if that conversation had gone well or not.

Shoving her to the back of my mind, I set off to find my favorite rock star. When I did find him, what he was doing surprised me a little. The crew hadn’t finished setting the instruments
up on the stage yet. In the prep area behind the stage, there were various lonely instruments in and out of their cases—a guitar here, a microphone there. A full drum set was resting
peacefully in the organized chaos. Kellan was behind them, attempting to play a D-Bags song while Evan laughed at him mercilessly.

I’d never seen Kellan behind the drums before. The sight was both odd and natural—a beautiful blue jay gliding across a lake instead of soaring through the clouds. It was clearly
something that was not his specialty, and he was biting his lip as he concentrated on the complicated rhythms. Watching him focus so intently on something was intoxicating, and I wasn’t the
only one who felt that way. A small circle of people were gathered around us, listening to him play—rather, try to play.

Evan spotted me and came over to wrap his arm around me. He was still laughing, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he watched Kellan fumble over a beat and nearly drop one of his sticks.
“It’s nice to know I’m better at something than Kellan,” he told me.

I laughed as I watched Kellan curse and shake his head. He was losing the rhythm fast; I could barely recognize the song I knew he was trying to play. “His talent lies elsewhere,” I
murmured. Evan chuckled at me, squeezing me tight, and I realized my statement could be taken as dirty talk. “You know, singing and such.”

He laughed a little harder. “Yeah, I figured that’s what you meant.”

When his attention shifted to Kellan again, I asked him, “What’s with the Jujubes box?” I hadn’t been going to pry, but darn if I hadn’t been curious for
months.

Evan looked down, a touch of embarrassment darkening his cheeks. “Oh, that. Ah, Jenny and me, the first time we . . . you know, we’d been snacking on those and the box . . . got
squished . . . in the process.” He peeked up at me. “I didn’t know she kept the box.” He smiled, a wide, lovesick, satisfied smile. “Sentimental girl.”

My heart warmed for my friends. “Most of us are.”

“Fuck! I give up!” Kellan called out.

The crowd around us started laughing as the awkward drumming ended. I twisted my head back to Kellan. He’d tossed the drumsticks out onto the floor and was resting his head on the snare
drum in defeat. Evan clapped my back. “I think I broke him. You may need to console him before the show.”

I was laughing as I walked up to my dejected husband. When he felt me beside him, he glanced up. “I suck,” he muttered, his lips curving into a full-blown puppy dog pout.

Resisting the urge to suck on that lip, I extended my palm and helped him stand up. “You can’t be a pro at everything, Kellan,” I told him, fingering his wedding ring before
letting go of his right hand.

Kellan’s eyes turned heated as he stared at me. Voice as husky as his eyes, he responded with, “You’re right. I’ll just stick to what I’m really, really good
at.” His vision traveled down my body, the fire in his eyes tingling my skin like a Fourth of July sparkler.

I wanted to remind him to behave, but he instantly switched moods. Expression now curious, he asked, “What did Sienna say?”

Walking with him around the people busy working, I recounted my confusing conversation. “She said we were overreacting.” I watched him as I continued. His gaze was speculative and
disbelieving; he didn’t agree. “She also said she’d ease up on the cuddling.”

Kellan smirked. “She’s said that before. But then a camera gets pointed in her direction and she . . . forgets.” He rolled his eyes. “Gotta give the fans what they want.
She’s a performer to the core.”

“It’s how she was raised. It’s how she survived the transition from child star to superstar.” I blinked at my words. Did I really just defend her?

Kellan seemed surprised as well as he held open the door to his empty dressing room. “I get that. I think the only thing I really
do
get about her is that her childhood sucked
just as much as mine did.”

The door closed behind us, and I looped my arms around his neck. My face serious, I told him, “No, her childhood was nothing like yours, Kellan. Not even close.”

Ancient sadness filled his eyes as he nodded, and I squeezed him tight in an attempt to prove to him that my love was stronger than their hate.

Later, when the D-Bags were on stage, Anna came up to me as I watched Kellan singing his heart out from my behind-the-scenes vantage point. I usually used this time every evening to work on my
newly conceived book. Writing two books at the same time probably wasn’t the best way to finish
one,
but whenever I watched Kellan play, my creative juices started flowing and I had
no choice but to pour it out onto my laptop screen. He was my own personal muse.

I paused mid-sentence and glanced up at my sister. She looked a little uncomfortable as she rubbed a spot on the lower left side of her belly. Her green eyes shimmered a little in the stage
lights. I didn’t know if that was because she was feeling emotional or just really tired. Supporting a life had to be exhausting, not to mention dealing with Griffin. Remembering Anna’s
monumental admittance during the meet-and-greet today, I wondered if she was okay.

Closing my laptop and setting it on the floor, I stood and pointed at my straight-backed chair. “Do you want to sit down?” It wasn’t the most comfortable thing in the world,
but at least she could rest her feet.

Her eyes glued on the stage, Anna muttered, “Thanks,” and worked her way onto the hard metal. As she tilted her head to keep the boys in her sight, or maybe just one boy in her
sight, I noticed the dark circles under her eyes. She covered them well with concealer, but I could see just a smidge of purplish-black. She would never admit it, but she was worn. She really
should go home and rest up while she had the chance.

Putting a hand on her shoulder, I asked, “You okay, sis?”

She immediately lifted her chin, her liquid eyes drying. “Of course, why wouldn’t I be?”

There were so many things I could point out, but instead I focused on the one aspect that seemed the easiest for her to talk about—the physical discomfort of being pregnant. “You
keep rubbing your side.”

She grimaced and looked at the spot that she was now firmly holding. “Maximus keeps kicking me in the exact same spot.” She sighed when she returned her eyes to mine. “I think
he’s bruised a rib or two.”

The remark left my mouth before I could stop it. “Well, he wouldn’t be part Griffin if he wasn’t a pain in your side.”

Anna smirked at me. “He’s not as bad as you think he is.”

Remembering the few surprising conversations I’d had with Griffin lately, I nodded. “I know.”

Anna opened her eyes wide, like I’d just admitted to something so preposterous she could hardly believe it. I flicked my fingers across her shoulder, and she giggled. Seeing more humor in
her demeanor, I asked the question I really wanted an answer to. “Are you okay with what happened earlier . . . with Griffin?”

The humor immediately vanished. “What do you mean?”

I contained a frustrated sigh. Those two were both so damn pigheaded, worse than Kellan and I ever were. “You told him you loved him, and he froze up like you just dipped him in
carbonite.”

Anna scowled and returned her eyes to the stage. “No, that doesn’t bother me, Kiera. We don’t have the hearts and flowers relationship that you and Kellan have.” She shot
me a quick glance out of the corner of her eye. “Which is fine. I don’t need that romantic crap.” She shrugged. “I was just joking around anyway. I didn’t mean
it.”

She clamped her mouth shut and swallowed three times in a row. A new layer of moisture amplified the depth of her eyes, and I knew my sister was lying. She did mean it. She did love him. It did
bother her. She did want more from him. But she wouldn’t let herself admit it or feel it. When all else fails, deny, deny, deny.

Not knowing what else to do for her, I leaned over and kissed her cheek. “I love you, Anna.” Griffin may not be able to say it, but she should hear it from someone. Anna looked up at
me, just as a tear dropped to her cheek. She immediately brushed it away and retuned her eyes to the D-Bags’ stage. “He told me that he loved you,” I added.

I thought my words would make her feel better, but all she looked was tired as she watched Griffin onstage. That could just be the pregnancy, though.“I’m gonna go back to the bus and
lie down. Let Griffin know? If he asks . . .”

Heart heavy, I told her that I would.

Griffin didn’t ask about her when the set was over, but I told him where she was anyway. He nodded at me, so I knew he heard me. But instead of heading out to the bus to be with his
baby-mama, he sat in quiet contemplation until it was time for the D-Bags and Sienna to close the show with their number-one smash hit. For the first time ever, I found myself watching Griffin
onstage more than Kellan and Sienna. Even smack dab in the middle of the limelight, Griffin seemed uncharacteristically pensive. I really didn’t know what to make of it.

When the show was over and the crowd was roaring its approval, the guys rejoined me backstage. Sienna was a step behind them. I thought Griffin would surely want to go see Anna now. We were
playing at this venue again tomorrow night, so we had some free time to kill and a peaceful night of sleep at a plush hotel to look forward to. I, for one, was eager to go crash, mainly because
Kellan had lived up to his promise and secured us our very own room. But instead of collecting Anna, Griffin turned to Matt. “Let’s go drink.”

Matt nodded, then asked the rest of us, “You guys want to go out?”

Kellan was already answering “No” when I set down my laptop and told Matt, “Sure.” Kellan’s eyes were disbelieving when he looked back at me. Kellan and I
hadn’t joined the group much for drinks once the Kell-Sex explosion had happened. We’d both been keeping a low profile, much to the band’s dismay—well, to Griffin’s
dismay. I wanted us to go this time, though. I didn’t like the look on Griffin’s face. Griffin rubbed his hands together eagerly, and I liked his look even less.