Recaptured Dreams (21 page)

“I’m sorry about last night,” she said.

“It’s fine.” He rose and dumped his dishes in the sink. “This is hard on you. I get that.”

She wanted to say she knew it was hard on him, too. It had to be. But he didn’t need to bear the weight of her bits and pieces. He didn’t need to know all the individual intimate details of her past. Did he?

No.

He’d already gone through enough trouble, already felt enough. Once she remembered the important things, the ones she was certain revolved around him, she would share them. She wanted so badly to know how their previous relationship had formed and how she had felt about him. Then maybe she would better understand the feelings swimming around in her chest.

Until then, it would be best to keep everything to herself. And since Xavier was keeping to himself, too, Sophia shouldn’t—and wouldn’t—feel guilty.

“Here we are.” Xavier opened the door to his studio, a massive space in the heart of New York City. He was proud of that place, but as he looked at Sophia, he couldn’t help but feel burdened.

Sophia’s eyes skimmed around the colorful space, glancing at the racks of clothing on the right, the ceiling-high windows to the left, the beams that crossed overhead, and the shiny concrete floor. Pain was etched in her face as she took in the surroundings. Why? Maybe he shouldn’t have brought her here. He so badly wanted her to remember everything. But it was hurting her and, at the same time, killing him.

Bryant burst through the back door and rushed over to Xavier. “Thank God you’re here.”

Xavier didn’t touch Sophia, but he motioned her to walk further inside the room. “You shouldn’t have set up a showing without me,” he said to his brother.

“Yeah, well, you and your
vacation
have held us up quite a bit. Have you made any progress for the spring show in April?”

Xavier frowned and grabbed Bryant by the shoulder, dragging him away from Sophia’s earshot. “Don’t start,” he hissed. “I know it’s March, but I have plenty of time to come up with a few signature pieces before then. It’s no big deal. See if you can keep Sophia occupied. And don’t say anything stupid either.”

Bryant grinned in his all-too-annoying fashion. “Me?”

“Yeah. Behave. I mean it.”

Bryant gave Xavier a cocky smile. “The fire still isn’t burning, is it?”

“Shut up.” He glanced over his shoulder at Sophia. She almost looked lost. “Just keep her entertained. But don’t mention anything you know about our past. Got it?” Bryant nodded, and Xavier glanced down at his watch. “The client will be here in, what, fifteen minutes?”

“They’re already here.”

Xavier groaned. “The girls?”

“Dressed and ready in the back.”

“The clients?”

“Waiting patiently in your office.”

“Go get the girls, and I’ll get the clients and Sophia situated. Then it’s up to you to keep her company while I finish this deal.”

“Right on, bro.”

Bryant hustled to the back, and Xavier went over to Sophia. “We’re going to do a quick showing here in a few minutes. You can sit over there.” He pointed to a red leather couch in the back corner by a wall of bookcases filled with portfolios of clothing. “Bryant will be out to check on you soon. Okay?”

She nodded.

“Are you all right?” he asked when she wouldn’t look at him.

“Yes,” she replied quietly. Too quietly.

She stepped away without saying another word. Her shoulders were slumped, her eyes cast far, far away. In a matter of moments, she’d shut him out—just as he’d feared.

“Is Xavier always like this?” Sophia asked as Bryant plopped down on the couch next to her.

“Like what?”

She looked over at Xavier. Models whished around through the room like a parade. His eyes were focused and determined as he spoke confidently to the lean, grandfatherly fellow standing at his side. He looked so in his element there, so comfortable. Shoulders lax but confident and even a smile once in a while. This was what made him happy.

And yet she didn’t miss the trace of disappointment on his face every time he glanced in her direction.

“Distant,” she whispered.

Bryant’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

Sophia clasped her hands in her lap. “Oh, nothing. This, um…trip…has been a struggle.”

“Ah. Do you mind if I ask why?”

Sophia thought about that for a moment. She didn’t know how much Bryant knew—how much Xavier had told him. And as the question rolled around in her head, she really couldn’t come up with a good answer for him.

“It’s just…” She bit her bottom lip. Bryant, as nice as he seemed, was probably not the best person to talk to. After all, he was Xavier’s brother. She wished Anne Marie was sitting next to her. “Never mind. I’m being sensitive is all. Learning about a past you never expected is rather…trying.”

He nodded, his gaze flicking to Xavier and then back to her. “You have no idea.”

She eyed him carefully. “What do you know about that summer?” she asked.

Bryant made a noise somewhere between a grunt and a cough as he scooted away from her. “I, uh, know that you two were inseparable.”

“What else?”

The left side of his lip curled down. “I’m not supposed to talk about it.”

She gaped at him. “You’re not supposed to talk about it? Why?”

He shrugged. “Don’t know. Xavier didn’t want me to tell you anything, and I just do what the boss-man says.”

Her eyes became slits as she looked back at Xavier. He was fanning out some model’s skirt as a client looked on. Xavier was hiding something from her…and there was only one way to figure out what.

The tires of the car rolled along the stretch of highway as Xavier and Sophia made their way back to the house. Xavier focused on the smooth intakes of Sophia’s breath to keep him grounded.

After what felt like hours, Sophia broke through the silence. “Why did you tell your brother not to talk to me about us?”

Xavier choked on his tongue. “He told you that?”
Idiot
. He was going to strangle Bryant the next time he saw him.

“Yes, after I asked him about it.”

Xavier gripped the steering wheel harder. “I don’t know. Bryant is weird and full of himself. Maybe he was mad you weren’t asking about him.”

Sophia’s voice was icy. “Why are you lying to me? What did I do wrong?”

He switched lanes, and the car lurched toward the exit. Only a minute or so longer and he would be out of the confining vehicle. Away from Sophia’s intoxicating scent. Away from questions that had no good answers.

He didn’t answer immediately, keeping his focus on the winding roads leading to the house, trying to get there quickly. “You didn’t do anything wrong,” he finally said.

“Then why do I feel like you’re deliberately making this difficult?”

The car peeled into the driveway. “I’m not doing anything, just trying to help you get your memories back.”

He slammed the door as he got out of the car. Taking a long breath of salty air, he walked around toward the passenger side to help Sophia, but she was already out, glaring at him.

“Now you sound like my mother,” she spat. “She wouldn’t tell me about my past either. I thought you were going to be different. But now you’ve locked up on me.” She slammed her door and marched toward him. “Why?”

Fire lit her features as the wind whipped her hair wildly around her face. She was clearly angry, yet he didn’t have a response for her—not a good one.

“I’m not keeping anything from you.” He stepped close to her. Close enough to feel her hot breath on his face, but he didn’t dare touch her. “It’s only fair to you if you learn what we did and when we did it. I refuse to tell you about my old feelings or what I thought.” His nostrils flared as her scent once again consumed him. “That’s not what you need. You need to recapture your own memories about how
you
felt. I can only give you the pieces to work with. My feelings don’t matter. And they have no bearing on your memory. Please don’t expect something I can’t give you.”

She started to speak, but Xavier couldn’t listen anymore. If he did, if he heard one cry or sob or upset comment come out of her mouth, he’d snap, unable to make her face her memories alone.

He pivoted on his heel and jogged into the house.

Sophia gave Xavier three hours, and then she couldn’t stand it any longer. Her bare feet made no sound on the marble floors as she went room to room to find him. Every place was empty. She checked the driveway; the car was still there. Stopping by the kitchen, she snatched some provisions from the cabinet and headed to the back door. When she stepped out on the back porch, her breath whooshed out.

The sun hung low in the sky, casting a purplish haze over the white fence lining all sides of the property. Evergreen trees dotted the landscape, creating patches of dark shadows. The trees wobbled and whistled with the chilled evening wind. A sinking feeling settled in her chest. Rubbing her free hand over the back of her neck, she closed her eyes and was propelled to the exact same spot, ten years before:

The high, midday summer sun beat down on her skin, causing little beads of sweat to erupt along the back of her neck. Xavier stood in the distance, just past the tree line, on the opposite side of the perimeter fence. He flashed a wicked grin and waved her over. Her long ponytail bobbed as she swung back around, looking into the house and nodding at her father. He gave an approving smile and ducked out of sight.