Chapter Four
Daniel had suffered another heart attack. Rebecca glanced at the small calendar on the fridge that showed it was already the last of June. She ran a damp dishcloth over Beth's granite kitchen countertop. She stood on her tiptoes to reach the other side. Out of breath, she landed back on her feet.
Beth was staying at the hospital until Daniel was out of intensive care. He was in fragile condition, but his doctors were hopeful. The cleaning lady was on vacation, so Rebecca would give Beth a boost with the chores. Somehow, she'd help in the cabinet shop
and
make sure the house was taken care of.
Laundry wouldn't be difficult with Beth's Maytag. And thanks to the grocery delivery service, Rebecca didn't need to shop.
As she watered the bright red geranium plants in the kitchen, she stopped to gaze out of the large bay window. Since yesterday's conversation with William, she'd noticed moisture under her lids more than usual. The lush carpet of green grass reminded her of a church sermon she'd heard long ago.
The message was that God was in charge of our lives. All that we have in this world belongs to Him, and He has the power to take it away anytime. A million dollars couldn't fix Daniel's heart. But God could.
The sound of the key in the door interrupted her thoughts. Rebecca dropped her dishrag as the front door opened. Beth rushed into the kitchen and tossed her purse on the table.
Rebecca asked, “How is he?”
Beth gave a slight nod. “Fragile. I came back for a shower and change clothes.”
Rebecca didn't miss the dark, hollow circles under Beth's deep blue eyes. Or that her voice shook. Rebecca motioned to the pitcher by the window. “How 'bout some tea?”
Beth smiled a little. “Thanks, Rebecca. That's the best offer I've had all morning.”
Rebecca grabbed a glass from the nearest cabinet and held it under the automatic ice maker. Small cubes clinked as they hit the sides. She repeated the motion with another glass and poured the tea. Beverages in hand, Rebecca joined Beth at the table.
Beth took a sip and smiled satisfaction. “Delicious.”
“Thanks.”
“When do you think he'll come home?”
Beth shrugged. “I'm not sure. The doctors believe he'll be okay, but to be honest, Rebecca, I don't know what to think. It scares me to see Daniel so helpless. His face is void of color, and he doesn't talk much. I keep praying for God to work a miracle.”
Rebecca looked away, trying for comforting words. To her chagrin, she was at a loss. “Oh, Beth. I'm so sorry. Somehow I just know he'll be okay.”
Rebecca's heart ached. She went for a tissue to give Beth time to compose herself. All the while, she considered the right words to say to her. Rebecca handed Beth a blue Kleenex.
“I've never been in your situation, but I pray for Daniel every night. Surely, your church is praying, too. Prayers will heal him.”
Beth blew her nose and nodded. “Several support groups have Daniel on their lists. And believe me, no one's praying more than me.”
Rebecca gave a reassuring nod. “Then you're doing all you can. If we just knew what the future held.”
“But only God knows.”
Beth caught her breath, wiping a tear with her tissue. “Your belief is genuine, Rebecca. I could tell that when I met you. I know what you risked coming here. It took a bold woman to do what you did. There must have been opposition from your community. Yet you followed your heart. What's your secret of staying so strong? And how do you maintain such faith?”
The questions took Rebecca by surprise. She was astonished that Beth saw her as a strong person when Rebecca battled such fears. She'd thought a lot about the partnership rumor. She wanted to ask Beth if it was true. But this was hardly the right time. Besides, if Daniel was going to invite William to partner in his business, she'd find out soon enough. In the meantime, there was no need to borrow trouble. That's what Old Sam always said.
Rebecca's mind returned to her current conversation with Beth. Rebecca did have faith. She'd never really considered where it came from. She just knew it was there. After giving careful thought, she leaned forward.
“I don't know. What I am sure of is that God looks after me. I don't have control over everything. But He does. And I trust He'll guide me to make the right decisions. Even though it might not seem best at the time.” She paused a moment and added, “Sometimes it can be scary when we don't understand what's happening.”
Beth took another drink and returned the glass to the table. “I'm from a Mennonite family, Rebecca. Although we use electricity and have different interpretations for certain scriptures, we still believe in the resurrection and the forgiveness of sins, just like the Amish. The fundamentals of our church are the same as yours, really.”
Rebecca went to refill their glasses before rejoining Beth. “There are so many religions, Beth. I've always wondered which one God would prefer.”
“Me too. And to be honest, I never understood how one denomination could believe it was better than another. In the whole realm of things, we know so little. I don't get too wrapped up in specifics. Scripture interpretation is just that. God knows how He wants us to practice our faith.” She lifted her hands in a helpless gesture. “We're only human. We do our best and hope to please Him.”
Rebecca considered what Beth had said. Rebecca had never really given much thought to other faiths. She'd always assumed that the Amish interpretation of the Bible was right. Did that make her like those who believed their faith was “the one”? Maybe she needed to open her eyes.
“Daniel and I never really gave much thought to being tested. It wasn't something we even discussed. But looking back, believing and having faith was easy because everything was fine. We were healthy. Daniel's business did well. We didn't want for anything.” She squeezed her eyes closed for a moment and opened them. “Until Daniel's first heart attack. My goodness, Rebecca, it was so unexpected. Daniel hadn't even complained about not feeling well. When a crisis arises, you really find out how strong you are.” She paused and shook her head in dismay. “I'm going to tell you something. And I want this to stay between the two of us.”
Rebecca leaned forward. “I'm a good promise keeper.”
Beth lowered her voice to a mere whisper. “I'm sure God must be disappointed in me. I'm ashamed to say this, but I'm scared. I love Daniel so much. He's my sun, moon, and stars. People tell me I'm strong and that I'll be fine. But I don't believe I can survive without him.”
Beth's voice shook as she flung her hands in the air in frustration. “If I could trade places with him, I would do it in a heartbeat. What's happening . . . It just isn't fair.”
“Beth, I'm sure God isn't disappointed in you. Anyone in your position would feel the same way.”
Their gazes locked. Beth was regarding Rebecca with a hopeful look on her face. Rebecca suddenly realized Beth was waiting for reassurance. She swallowed. She wanted to offer hope and encouragement. But there was no guarantee Daniel would get well. Rebecca wished she could promise Beth that he would. She couldn't.
Rebecca could see that Beth, too, was fragile. She wasn't in a hospital bed, but her mind was in a state of doubt and denial. How could Rebecca reassure her and at the same time, help her to face reality? What would Old Sam say?
She searched for the right words. Finally, they came. Rebecca cleared her throat. “Beth, let's take one step at a time. I think the best we can do for Daniel right now is to support him, let him know we're there for him. And definitely, the prayer chain should be encouraged. We should ask for prayers from everyone we know.”
Rebecca turned her chair to better face Beth. The legs squeaked as they ran over the floor. “In the meantime, William and I are here to help. We're trying to keep Daniel's business going.” She grinned. “I know it's not the same as fixing his heart, but at least it's something we can do.”
Beth's smile was warm and thankful. As she set her glass of iced tea on the table, the ice cubes clinked.
Beth touched Rebecca's wrist. Her hand was cold. A few goose bumps trickled up Rebecca's arm. At that moment, she had an idea. She stood and pointed a finger. “I'll be back.”
She went to her room and returned, handing Beth the scripture book she read from every night.
“Mamma made it for me. In fact, she told me to share it with you.”
In silence, Beth opened the pages and began turning them. She looked up. “Scriptures?”
Rebecca gave a proud nod. “They help me to deal with my worries. They'll comfort you, too.”
Beth's voice softened. “Do you mind if I borrow this?”
“Keep it as long as you like.”
With a small sigh, Beth flipped the cover shut. To Rebecca's surprise, William's step-mamma set the book on the table and threw her arms around Rebecca. Then Beth released her and held her at arm's length.
“Rebecca, you're such a sweet girl. Daniel and I appreciate everything you and William have done for us. You're so young to take on such responsibility. But I feel uneasy. You've worked much too hard. When Daniel's well, I promise to repay you. I'm not sure how we can make this up to you, but we'll figure something out.”
Rebecca let out a breath of relief as she darted Beth an appreciative look. “All we want right now is for Daniel to recover. And when he's well, we'll celebrate.”
Beth pressed her hands together in prayer and looked up at the ceiling. “I thank God for sending you and William. How could we have done without you? Not only do you work, but you provide moral support. I needed a lift, Rebecca. You gave me that strength to go on.”
The compliment boosted Rebecca's spirits. She nodded in appreciation. “Thank you, Beth.”
“You know, when things are good, people don't realize what they have. I guess you could compare life to a car. When it's up and running, you don't give it much thought. But when the battery goes dead . . .”
Rebecca considered the statement.
Beth laughed a little and raised a hand in apology. “Forgive me. For a moment, I forgot that you wouldn't know about vehicles.”
“It's okay.”
“I guess what I'm getting at is that now I realize the small problems I fretted over should never have made even a small dent in my life. Car repairs. Electric bills. Things that can be easily fixed. We had it all, Rebecca. Daniel's heart condition has given me a loud wake-up call. I never dreamed how my life could change.”
As she walked to the window and looked out, her heels made a light clicking noise against the oversized mauve tiles. Several moments later, Rebecca joined her. Beth turned and motioned to the four corners of the room. “Look at all of this. It's wonderful.” She paused. “But I can live without it. I've never considered myself materialistic, but now that I'm faced with keeping Daniel alive, I realize I've placed too much importance on the house.”
Tears welled in Beth's eyes. “I'd give up everything with a snap of the fingers to have Daniel well. In fact, the only thing I care about is his recovery, Rebecca. He's all that matters. Because without the man I love”âshe lowered her voice so that Rebecca barely heard herâ“none of this matters. He's my life. And I'm so scared of losing him.”
Before Rebecca could respond, Beth broke down and cried. As she threw her head back, tears rolled down both cheeks like a waterfall. She pressed her fingers to her face.
Rebecca took her hand and led her back to her chair. “Here. Sit down.”
Beth did so. Rebecca pulled up a chair next to her. She wanted to let Beth know her husband would be fine. That he would recover and that they would spend many more years together. As Beth cried for Daniel, Rebecca struggled to think of something to say.
She patted her on the back. “You'll be okay. Please don't cry.” But Beth's tears continued. Certainly, Rebecca was short on experience in this field. How could she console William's step-mamma? As she listened to Beth mumble something between sobs, Rebecca knew she had to say something. But what? She decided to use her reasoning skills. She'd learned a lot from Old Sam. And her schoolteachers had always told her she possessed good common sense. Where was it when she needed it?
Finally, an idea hit her. She leaned forward to grasp Beth's shoulders. “Beth.” Rebecca's voice was gentle but firm. Beth met her gaze.
“When I used to have problems, Mamma always told me there's nothing that can comfort a person like the outdoors.”
She released her hold on Beth and stood in front of her, lending a friendly hand. “Let's go outside.”
Beth didn't respond.
Rebecca nudged her arm. “Come on. We're going to breathe in some fresh air and between the two of us, we can surely figure out how to cope with Daniel's health.”
Without arguing, Beth let Rebecca lead her to the front door. They left the house and proceeded across the vast yard of velvety grass to the quiet blacktop country road.
The warm, balmy breeze rustled the leaves on the tall oaks. Above, large clouds that looked like fluffy mashed potatoes floated lazily in the light June sky like life rafts on an ocean.
Rebecca raised a confident chin. “I've never been in your situation, so I can't speak from experience. But if I were in your shoes, here's what I think I would do.”
Letting out a breath, Beth dabbed a tissue over both eyes and straightened her shoulders. She cleared her throat. When she glanced at Rebecca, the lost expression in her eyes had been replaced with a mixture of hope and curiosity.