Reasonable Doubt 3 (3 page)

“An apology implies that I did something
wrong
.” I gritted my teeth. “Just because they don’t agree with what I did, doesn’t mean that I wasn’t right.”

“Do you believe in reasonable doubt, Mr. Hamilton?”

“You said you only had three questions left. Has elementary mathematics changed recently?”

“Do you believe in reasonable doubt,
Mr. Hamilton
?” Her face reddened. “Yes or no?”

“
Yes
.” I clenched my jaw. “Yes, I believe that’s a common requirement for every single lawyer in this country.”

“So, given the current case that we’re discussing…Do you think that someone like you, someone who treated his employees so terribly, could ever change in the future, now that you know how badly you’ve hurt others’ livelihood?”

“Reasonable doubt is not about
feelings
, Miss Everhart, and I suggest you consult the closest legal dictionary you can find because I’m pretty sure we’ve had this discussion once before…”

“I don’t recall that, Mr. Hamilton, but—”

“In your own ill-fated yet correct words, didn’t you once tell me—post your first interview here at GBH, that certain lies have to be told and certain truths have to be withheld? And that the ultimate conviction is up to those who can discern which is which?” I looked her up and down. “Is that not the exact definition that you provided for reasonable doubt?”

She stared at me a long time—giving me that same look of hurt she had when I kicked her out of my place.

“No further questions, Your Honor.” She mumbled.

Mr. Greenwood clapped loudly from the back of the room. Mr. Bach and the other interns followed suit.

“Very good job, Miss Everhart!” Mr. Bach shouted. “That was a very direct yet compelling line of questioning.”

“Thank you sir.” She avoided looking at me.

“You are officially the first intern to get our Andrew all riled up.” He smiled, seemingly impressed. “We definitely need to keep you around. Hell, we may call you in when we need to be reminded that he’s capable of showing emotion.”

More laughter.

“Great job today, everyone!” He leaned back in the judge’s chair. “We’ll go over your presentations later this week and email you the scores next Thursday.” He banged his gavel. “Court adjourned.”

The interns filed out of the room and Aubrey looked over her shoulder one last time, shooting me an angry look.

I shot one right back, grateful that I had a date tonight so I could fuck her and her stupid questions out of my mind.

Seven o’clock can’t get here soon enough…

I waited a few minutes before heading to the elevator and attempted to remember my schedule for the rest of the day. I had two consultations with small business owners this afternoon, and I needed to make a Starbucks run before Aubrey could bring me my next cup of coffee.

I unlocked the door to my office and hit the lights, prepared to call for Jessica, but Ava was standing in front of my bookshelf.

“Is the homeless shelter not open today?” I asked.

“I came here to finally give you what you asked for.”

“It’s a little too early to jump off a bridge.”

“I’m being serious.”

“As am I.” I walked past her and sent a quick text on my phone. “If you jump before noon, the news crew won’t be able to run the story during primetime.”

She stepped in front of my desk and set down a manila folder. “I won’t drag your name through the courts anymore, I won’t file anymore stays or injunctions, and I won’t make any false claims about your character either…I’m done lying now.”

“I’m sure.” I picked up the papers. “In other words, there’s a new guy you’re anxious to fuck over. Does he know the real you?”

“Seriously? You’re getting your precious divorce. Why do you even care?”

“I don’t.” I put on my reading glasses and looked over the documents. “No alimony requests, abuse claims, or demands for property? Am I missing a page?”

“I’m telling you. I’m done lying.”

I didn’t believe her for one second, but I picked up my phone and called the notary, telling her it was an emergency.

“You know…” Ava leaned against my desk. “I remember the cake you bought me for our wedding anniversary. It was white and light blue, and it had all these pretty little NYC decorations on it. It had flavored layers, too. One for every year that we were together. Do you remember that?”

“I remember you fucking my best friend.”

“We can’t have one nice moment before we end things for good?”

“You and I ended a long time ago, Ava.” I tried to keep my voice flat, monotonous. “When something is over, the final words—good or bad, don’t make much of a fucking difference.”

She sighed and I noticed how terrible she looked today. Her eyes were bloodshot, her hair was frizzy and tied into a loose ponytail, and even though the blue dress she was wearing fit perfectly, she hadn’t made an attempt to iron it.

“What’s this so called emergency you have, Mr. Hamilton?” The notary walked into the room, smiling. “Are you requesting that we purchase another thousand dollar coffee maker?” She stopped talking once she saw Ava.

“Miss Kannan, this is Ava Sanchez, my soon to be ex-wife. I need you to witness the signing of the divorce papers and make three copies—sealing one of them for mailing purposes.”

She nodded and pulled a stamper out of her pocket.

“Did you notice that I willingly gave up our condo on the West End to you?” Ava asked.

“The condo that
I
bought?” I signed my name. “How generous.”

“We made a lot of memories in that house.”

“Signing papers doesn’t require conversation,” I said.

She snatched the pen away from me and placed her signature above mine—taking extra time to add a double swirl to the last letter.

“I’ll be right back with your copies.” Miss Kannan avoided looking at either of us as she shuffled out of the room.

“So, that’s it, I guess,” Ava said. “I’m officially out of your life.”

“No.” I shook my head. “Unfortunately, you’re still in my sight.”

“Would it kill you to wish me the best? To at least tell me good luck?”

“Seeing as though you’re going back to prison, I guess that would be appropriate.” I shrugged. “Good luck. The authorities are outside waiting for you, so take all the time you need. There’s even a vending machine down the hall if you want to taste freedom one last time…Although, since you’ll be locked up with plenty of women, I’m sure eating pussy after the lights go out will taste just as good.”

“You fucking snitched on me?” Her face went white as I held up my phone, showing her the text I sent the second I saw her in my office. “How could you do that to me?”

“How could I
not
?”

“Did I really hurt you that badly, Liam? Did I—”

“Don’t you ever fucking call me that.”

“Did I hurt you that badly?” She repeated, shaking her head.

I didn’t answer.

“This is…This is about
Emma
isn’t it?” She hissed. “Is that what this is? You’re still holding that shit over my head?”

“Get the fuck out.
Now
.”

“It’s been six years, Liam. Six. Fucking. Years. You need to let that go.” She opened the door and a sly smile spread across her face. “Things like that happen all the time...As unfortunate as it was, it helped make you the man you are today, didn’t it?”

It took everything in me to stay seated, to not lunge after her.

Seething, I waited for her to leave and walked over to my window—watching as she stepped into the parking lot, as she raised her hands in the air as the officers shouted at her.

Then, just like six years ago, she smiled through the handcuffing process, and laughed when they tossed her into the back of the car.

The black fleet slowly drove away, and a familiar pang hit my chest.

Grabbing my keys, I rushed to the parking lot and slipped into my car—subconsciously telling myself to go home, consciously driving toward the nearest beach.

I put my phone on silent as I hit the highway, and as the seconds dissolved into hours, the city disappeared in the rearview mirror. The buildings appeared farther and farther apart, and eventually the only thing outside my window were trees and sand.

When I finally reached a secluded bay, I parked my car in front of a rock. I opened my glove compartment and took out the red folder Aubrey once tried to open. Then I stepped out and sat on the closest bench.

Taking a deep breath, I pulled out the photos and promised myself that this would be the last time I looked at them: Me and my daughter walking along the shore of New Jersey’s beach as the sun set. Her smiling as I picked up a seashell and held it against her ear. Me carrying her on my shoulders and pointing to a starry night sky.

Even though I knew doing this would lead to cold sweats and an inevitable nightmare later, I continued flipping through the photos.

Even the ones without me: The ones of her looking sad and lonely at the park, the ones of her looking off into the distance for something—or
someone
, that wasn’t there.

Emma…

My heart clenched at the final frame in the set. It was a shot of her fiddling with her umbrella, crying. She was upset because they were forcing her to go inside, because they didn’t understand that although she liked being at the park in broad sunlight, she preferred to play outside in the rain.

A negative emotional reaction—which may include fear, anger, anxiety, and suffering for which monetary damages may be awarded.

Aubrey

I looked terrible. Absolutely terrible.

Today was the first full costume rehearsal for
Swan Lake
and I didn’t look fit for the part at all. My eyes were swollen and puffy—ruined from randomly crying about Andrew, my lips were dry and cracked, and my skin was so pale that Mr. Petrova walked by and asked, “Are you playing a white swan or are you playing a
white ghost
?”

As much as I tried to force myself to smile through my heartache, I was crying every moment I was alone, eating an exorbitant amount of ice cream and chocolate each night, and I couldn’t sleep for shit.

I still couldn’t believe Andrew kicked me out of his condo so cruelly. One minute he was holding me against his chest and kissing me, and the next he was telling me that he and I had fucked enough—that he didn’t want me anymore, and that he was going to fuck someone else.

What was worse, was that when we returned to work that following Monday, he’d been twice as rude to me. He reassigned me to a case that would take me months to sort, scolded me in front of everyone for being ten seconds late, and then he had the audacity to complain about me smiling as I brought him his daily coffee.

At least I spit in it…

“Are you crying right now?” The make-up assistant tilted my chin up. “Do you know how expensive this stage mascara is?”

“I’m sorry.” I froze my eyeballs to their sockets and held back tears.

“I didn’t see your parents’ names on the guest list for today. Are they coming to the second run through on Saturday?”

“No.”

“I guess they just want to see the full on show with no stops then, huh?” She laughed. “My parents are the same way. I told them about the number of run-throughs we have to do and they said they’ll see it when it’s finished. They’re all about perfection.”

“Unfortunately, I can relate…”

She laughed and blabbered on and on, making me silently count the seconds until she was done.

When she pressed my face with the last puff of powder, she spun me around to face the mirror on the other side of the room.

“Wow…” I whispered. “Seriously, wow…”

I didn’t look like I’d been crying at all. Although my eyelids were covered in dark eye shadow, and she’d dabbed a fake tear trail past my right eye, I looked as if I was the happiest woman on earth.

“Miss Everhart?” Mr. Petrova asked, stepping behind me. “May I borrow you for a second?”

“Yes, sir.” I followed him through the backstage doors and outside to the empty stretching area.

“Have a seat on the bench, Miss Everhart.” He took a cigarette out of his pocket and lit it.

The smoke unfurled in spirals between us and he looked me up and down. For some odd reason, he looked more upset than usual, like he was about to yell at me.

“Mr. Petrova…” I said softly. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No.” He shook his head. “I brought you out here alone because I want you to know that you looked fat during practice yesterday.
Too fat
.”

“What?”

“Even though you danced the part of the black swan beautifully, capturing the right degree of anger and sadness, you failed—
fucking failed
, with the white swan.” He coughed. “You looked like your mind was elsewhere. Like it was killing you to be happy for five minutes, and to top it off, you’ve gotten fat.”

I rolled my eyes and tuned him out, focusing on the cars whirring down the street. I wasn’t disturbed by his insults anymore. Him calling me fat was nothing compared to the things he said to me last week.

“
Miss Everhart
?” His voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

“Yes?”

“I need you to open that later,” he said, patting me on my shoulder. “It’s very important.”

“Open what?”

“Do you not see the envelope I just placed on your lap?” He put out his cigarette. “Do I need to tell your understudy that she needs to get ready to dance?”

“No.” I picked up the envelope, running my fingers along the crease. “You don’t need to do that, sir.”

“Good.” He walked toward the building and held the door open. “Now, make me believe that I picked the right girl to be my swan.”