Reason to Breathe (54 page)

I swallowed the anxiousness and obeyed. Evan
helped me out of the car and wrapped a silky fabric around my
eyes.

“Are you serious?”

“I know you’ll peek before you’re supposed
to.”

“Evan, I have heels on; I’m going to kill
myself.”

“No you won’t.” He swept his arm under my
knees, and I fell back, cradled in his arms. I yelled out in
surprise and wrapped my arms firmly around his neck.

“That was not necessary,” I scolded.

“Don’t want you to kill yourself,” he
remarked, a smile in his voice.

I heard his feet crunching along the gravel
that led to the barn and then the squeak of a door. I recognized
the scents of the garage as he continued up the stairs. He pushed
the door open and effortlessly lowered me onto my feet. I was
afraid to open my eyes after he untied the fabric.

When I did, my mouth dropped open. The entire
room was shimmering in a soft glow, with lines of candles on every
surface. The couch was pushed toward the wall to allow room for a
small table in the center of the floor, adorned with candlesticks
and set for two. I recognized the soft whispery female voice
floating through the speakers.

“Is this from my playlist?” I questioned.

“I told you it set a mood,” Evan smirked,
then examined me intently and asked, “So, how’d I do?”

“It’s beautiful,” I breathed. He stood behind
me with his arms around my waist, bending to kiss the top of my
shoulder.

Evan escorted me to the table and pulled out
a chair for me. Even though I knew it was part of who he was, the
chivalry still felt awkward. I smiled nervously as he sat across
from me, a colorful salad in front of us.

“Is this weird for you?” he asked, observing
my fidgeting.

“No,” I answered reluctantly. “I’m trying to
get over that you thought to do this.”

“Thanks,” he replied sarcastically. “You
didn’t think I had this in me?”

“It’s not that,” I corrected. “It’s
your
birthday, so it doesn’t feel quite right.”

“This is exactly what I wanted to do for my
birthday. So, relax, okay?”

“Okay,” I breathed, searching for the
appetite to eat the berries and greens before me.

“We
are
going to the prom together,
right?” he confirmed. “I know I didn’t officially ask you.
Actually, I think my mother did.”

I laughed. “Yes, Evan, I will go to the prom
with you.”

“Please don’t tell me that you’re going to go
shopping with her,” he begged.

“I could never afford any place she’d take
me.”

“Oh, I’m pretty sure she wants to buy the
dress.” My eyes widened in surprise. He added, “It would just be
too strange having you and my mother alone together. I know she’d
tell you things that would freak me out.”

“Really?” I teased. “Maybe we
should
go shopping together.” Evan shook his head as I laughed at the idea
of bonding with Vivian.

After I got over the initial shock of the
romantic setting and recognized that it was only Evan and I,
everything felt comfortable again. We talked casually and laughed
easily. It was perfect. I’d almost forgotten that we were sitting
in the barn. The flickering light transformed the room, hiding the
games and tables in the shadows. I was soothed by the candles and
the music - lost in the soft light flickering in Evan’s eyes. But,
the anxiety returned when Evan set down a small blue box in front
of me, instead of the dessert I was expecting.

I couldn’t find my voice or even breathe. He
smiled at me from across the table, watching me struggle for
words.

“Don’t say anything,” he insisted. “This is
what
I
wanted to do.”

I stared at him, unable to bring myself to
open the box.

“You have to open it,” he pleaded. I looked
nervously between him and the box. “
Please
open it. You’re
killing me.”

I took a quick breath and slid the top off
the box. I looked up at Evan with wide eyes, still unable to
speak.

“I thought you should have one of your own to
go with the sweater,” he explained. “You like it, right?”

“Yes,” I breathed, too overwhelmed to touch
the sparkling rock inside the box. Evan stood behind me and removed
it from the velvet to place it around my neck. I gently caressed it
with my shaking finger tips as it lay against my skin.

I stood up to face him. “Thank you,” I
whispered. I wrapped my arms around him and extended on my toes to
find his lips. My lips brushed gently against his, lingering for a
moment before slowly pulling away.

Evan had his arms around my waist, holding me
against him. The music settled in around us and we found ourselves
slowly moving to the soothing seductive voice.

“Are we dancing?” I questioned with a
smile.

“I think we are,” Evan agreed with a slight
nod of his head. “Is that bad?”

“No, just something else I’ve never done
before,” I admitted. I laid my head under his chin, allowing him to
sway me.

The delicate strums and smooth melodies were
mesmerizing, adding to the enchantment of the flickering lights and
the warmth of his body. I searched his face as he gazed down at me
with a soft smile. My stomach fluttered and my head felt light, I
was completely consumed by him.

“I love you,” I whispered – the words flowed
effortlessly from my mouth.

Evan pulled me against him and pressed his
lips to mine. The tender kiss soon turned urgent, sending electric
charges throughout my body. His lips moved down my neck and his
hands slid along my back under the sweater. I let out an excited
breath as I ran my hands along his taught frame under his shirt. He
pulled it up over his head. We separated long enough to allow him
to drop it to the floor.

We were moving, still in our passionate
exchange, in the direction of the room above the garage. I slid my
sweater over my head and dropped it behind me. Evan stopped.

“Are you sure?” he questioned with a heavy
breath, studying my face for a sign of doubt.

“Yes,” I said in a whispering sigh, pulling
him toward me again. He eagerly accepted me. I kicked off my shoes
and unbuttoned my pants. Evan caught my hands.

“Really, we don’t have to do this.”

“Evan, I love you. I want to. But if you
don’t…” I started to zip my pants, and his hands caught mine again.
We stood still for a second, staring at each other. Then he slid
down my zipper and eased my pants over my hips. I stepped out of
them and followed him into the room. He held me against his warm
smooth skin before gently laying me on top of the comforter, his
mouth trailing along my shoulders down to my stomach. He stood to
remove his shoes and to slide off his pants.

I wrapped my leg around the back of his thigh
as he eased himself over me. My mouth found his neck, and I traced
my lips along his shoulder. Our frantic breaths revealed our
excitement, as his fingers traced along my stomach, sending a
thousand sparks shooting through my body.

Evan froze when the lights flashed through
the front windows. My eyes widened in alarm, as I held my
breath.

“Oh no,” he exclaimed, jumping up to
investigate. He grabbed his pants and quickly stuffed each leg into
them. I propped myself up on my elbows, watching in shock as he
hopped to put his shoes back on.

“Stay here,” he instructed as he rushed out
the door, closing it behind him.

“Evan, you up there?” I heard a guy’s voice
yell a few minutes later. You have got to be kidding me! The
distinct thump of footsteps climbed the stairs.

“Oh,” the voice exclaimed. “Are we
interrupting something?”

A flood of light shone through the bottom of
the closed door. I panicked. Someone was in the other room. My
clothes were in the other room! I heard more footsteps and voices.
I snuck off the bed and tiptoed to the closet to find something to
throw on.

“No,” Evan replied uneasily. “Um, I was just
cleaning up.”

“Had a good birthday, huh?” the voice asked
with a laugh.

“Jared, what are you doing here?” Evan
finally asked.

“Came here with a few of the guys to surprise
you for your birthday. Happy Birthday.”

“Thanks,” Evan responded. Jared didn’t seem
to notice the tension in his voice.

“Let’s turn on the music and play pool or
something,” Jared suggested emphatically. “Get whatever you want to
drink at the bar.”

“Sounds good,” one of the other voices
agreed. “What’s with all the candles?”

“It’s from earlier,” Evan stated
dismissively.

In the dim light, I made out a pair of
jogging pants and a sweatshirt. I threw them on, folding the
waistband of the oversized pants. The clothes hung off me, but it
was better than being practically naked.

“I should bring these plates to the house,”
Evan told the guys. “I’ll be right back.”

The room on the other side of the door
erupted with the bellows of a punk rock band and the crashing of
pool balls.

I sat on the bed, having no idea what to do.
I knew that there was no way I was going out that door while they
were still in the other room.

“Emma?” Evan whispered. I jumped at the sound
of the voice coming from the floor. I leaned over the edge of the
bed to find Evan peering up through an open trap door in the floor.
He was standing on a fold-down ladder that led to the garage.

“You can come down this way. They won’t
know,” Evan explained.

I carefully made my way down the ladder in my
bare feet, with Evan waiting at the bottom. He replaced the floor
panel before folding the ladder back up. Without saying anything,
he grabbed my hand. I followed him out of the door into the cool
moonlit night.

“I am so sorry,” he stressed while we walked
in the damp grass of the field behind his house. “I had no idea he
was coming.”

“It’s okay.”

“I hid your clothes in the closet before they
came up. I promise to get them back to you.”

“I’m never going to see that sweater again,
am I?”

“Well, maybe after it stops smelling like
you,” he responded with a grin. Evan secured his arms around me.
“We’ll have other moments, I promise. I’m not going anywhere… well,
not without you.”

“I know.”

“Nice outfit,” Sara observed with a smile
when I walked into her bedroom. “You have a story to share, that’s
for sure.”

“How was your date with Tony?” I asked,
trying to delay the inevitable conversation.

“Done,” Sara declared casually, with a slight
shrug. “Is that a diamond around your neck? Em, start talking.”

I brushed over the more intimate scenes, much
to Sara’s disappointment, and when I was done with my account of
the evening, Sara erupted in laughter. I slowly joined in.

“I can’t believe you almost got caught
your first time
!” she exclaimed in-between fits of
laughter.

“Shut up, Sara,” I laughed, throwing a pillow
at her. “It
wasn’t
my first time. It didn’t happen.”

“You have
the worst
luck,” she
bellowed, tears rolling down her cheeks.

38.
Shattered

“You
little tramp,” Carol muttered from behind me while I swept the
kitchen floor. I spun around at the sound of her voice.

“What did you have to do to get that?” she
demanded, reaching for the necklace. I backed away, out of her
clutches. Her eyes widened with shock.

“You can’t honestly think he cares about
you,” she jeered. “He probably had that from the last girl he
screwed.”

The fire ignited within me as I stared in
disgust at this pathetic woman.

“Shut up, Carol,” I shot back firmly,
towering over her.

“What did you just say?” she demanded, with a
ferocity that could have blown the house to pieces. Her hand
connected with the side of my face with a rocking force. The broom
reverberated off the floor.

I turned my head back toward her. The fire
fed every muscle of my tensed body. I raised my fist.

“What, are you going to hit me?” she smirked.
“Go ahead and hit me.”

My mind snapped back. I looked up at my
clenched hand - appalled at what I was about to do. I pushed away
the rage before it swallowed me.

“I have no idea why you’re so twisted, but
I’m not you,” I spat. “You disgust me.”

Carol stared at me with contempt. My insides
twisted, instantly regretting my cutting statement. Fear started
overtaking the anger, and my body began to quiver.

She grabbed for my arm, and I shoved her
off.

“You fucking bitch,” she grunted, coming at
me with a force I wasn’t expecting but should have prepared for.
She pushed my shoulders to slam me against the door, but I slipped
on the broom at my feet. Glass shattered around me, and fire shot
through my arm when my elbow crashed through a panel of the
door.

I screamed in pain, the jagged edges slicing
into me. I cradled my elbow against me. Blood ran between my
fingers, dripping onto the floor. I continued to groan through
clamped teeth with the shards digging into my flesh.

“What the hell is going on?!” George
exclaimed, running up the stairs to the deck. He froze outside the
door at the sight of the broken glass and me on the floor, soaked
in blood. His eyes trailed up to Carol, and he stared at her in
abhorrent shock.

“George,” she gasped, “it was an accident.
She slipped, I swear.”

“Don’t just stand there,” he yelled. “Get her
a towel.” Carol rushed to the bathroom, obeying his command.

George opened the door as much as he could
with my collapsed body still in front of it, paralyzed with shock.
He slipped through and bent down to examine the damage.

“I need to take you to the hospital,” he
concluded. “There’s still glass in the cuts, and you probably need
stitches.”