Real Vampires Get Lucky (30 page)

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Authors: Gerry Bartlett

Tags: #Horror & Ghost Stories

BOOK: Real Vampires Get Lucky
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"We're not going anywhere until I explain what happened to me the other night. You remember me telling you about that woman trouble I had in New York? The year you went to Harvard and I went to the big city to try my luck in the music business." Nathan jumped when Valdez strolled over and sat near him. I sent my dog a mental message that if he said
one word
, he was going to be Randolph's date to the Winter Solstice Ball. He clamped his mouth shut and came to sit beside me, gazing at me with a false adoration that made me want to twist his ear.

"Ray, I don't think Glory wants to hear about some woman from your past. But, yeah, sure, I remember you tellin' me about New York. You were never the same about women after that." Nathan happened to catch Flo's eye, and she gave him a fang-filled grin. He moaned and closed his eyes.

"That's 'cause I learned a hard lesson. And Glory knows all about that woman. She was Lucky Carver, the deranged fan you saw in my dressing room last night before the concert."

"Yeah, yeah, concert. Big hit. Did you see the review in the paper? They loved you. Already talking about having you headline Austin City Limits next year. That's huge, man. Bob Dylan got that gig last year." Nathan seemed desperate to steer the conversation back to something he understood, like business. He looked down at his BlackBerry, which had miraculously appeared in his hand.

"I guess you guys know it's a big-deal music festival here. Draws over a hundred thousand fans from all over. Held in Zilker Park. Outdoors. October. I'm already clearing Ray's schedule." He checked out Ray's reaction. "Assuming you still want to come back to the area by then. Maybe it's not such a good idea." He cut his eyes toward me. "Come on, Ray. You sure you're not ready to leave now?"

"Nate, this isn't going to work." Ray snatched the BlackBerry and tossed it to the floor. "Face it. I'm a vampire. A blood-sucking,

'never going to eat real food again, see daylight or, oh hell, any of the other things normal people do' vampire." Nathan leaned forward and put his hand on Ray's knee. "Look, Ray, I know a place. Very discreet. We can get you help. No one needs to know." He gave me a hard look like he thought I was the ringleader of this demonic cult. "What the hell did you people give him? I'm calling a doctor. And then I'm calling the police. Let the tabloids print the story. We've ridden out storms before. I don't care what the f-" Nathan screeched when Valdez clamped down on his foot.

"Valdez, cool it." I grabbed his collar and tried to jerk him back.

"All I've got is shoe, no foot at all. I can't just sit here and listen to him accuse you of drugging Ray. And I'm sure as hell
not letting him call the cops."

"Valdez, you know we're not going to let this get that far. Release him." Jerry's word is law to the pup. So Valdez backed off. Now Nathan was shaking like a vibrator on high. Ray squatted down in front of him. "Look at me, bud. This is an alternate reality. Shit happens like talking dogs and people with fangs who drink blood and live forever. Stuff we never knew even existed outside of comic books and movies."

"R-r-ray. I-I-I don't know what's happening. You heard him too? That dog? He didn't move his lips. But he said something. Inside my head." Nathan grabbed Ray's hands. "Remember when we played Dracula for Halloween? We put those fake fangs in our mouths. But they were wax. Tasted like shit. Your mom made us black satin capes and we ran around scaring the girls."

"Good times, buddy." Ray stood and walked over to stand next to me. "But these are bad times. That woman in New York was Lucky Carver, like I said. I dumped her or her father would have had me castrated. He wouldn't allow me to tell her why either. I had to just walk away with a souvenir hole in my cock."

"No way." Nathan stood too, like he didn't know what else to do.

Richard and Jerry exchanged horrified looks, Flo was obviously eager for details and Valdez nodded, like he'd be happy to fill in the rest of the gang after this was over, his word to Ray or not. I just kept quiet. I knew better than to offer sympathy. Ray had made it clear what he thought of me and anything I had to offer.

"Yes. And when she saw me in the hotel the other night, she decided to pay me back for dumping her all those years ago. So, Glory, why don't you tell Nate what Lucky had to do to turn me vampire?" And with that Ray sat again. Well, nothing like dropping the ball firmly in my court. I cleared my throat. Actually I guess Ray really didn't know what Lucky had done to him.

"Okay. Here's what I guess must have happened." I hadn't had the time or the inclination to pump Lucky for details. "Lucky's a vampire, and she had another vampire with her. I figure Etienne helped her get past Ray's security in his hotel suite."

"How?" Nathan paced around the living room, stopping to pick up his BlackBerry. "Those guys are aces. They're especially careful about strange women. No way would they have let her in."

"Vampires have a special ability, Nathan. I call it the whammy. We can sort of mesmerize you, so that you're unable to move or disobey a direct order. Then we can walk right past you and you can't stop us. Afterward, we can make you forget we were ever there. Sort of like amnesia."

"I don't believe you." Nathan frowned. "You swallowed this bull, Ray?"

"Last night in the limo. We all toasted to my success, you remember that?" Ray crossed one leg over his knee and picked up my Bloodthirsty again.

"Sure, to your sellout."

"Never happened." Ray smiled sadly.

"Of course it did." Nathan nodded at Flo, then Richard. "You two can back me up. We all drank."

"Sorry, signor, no one but you drank champagne. Our kind of vampire does not do well with alcohol." Flo smiled at Ray. "I'm afraid Israel Caine is now-how do they say it?-on the wagon, permanently."

"You sure?" Nathan shook his head. "And that happened to the security guards that night?"

"I'm betting they were put under and stood there while Lucky and Etienne walked into Ray's suite." I turned to Ray. "Were you alone in that bed, Ray?"

He sat up and frowned. "No. Lindsey and Max. God. Lucky didn't kill them, did she?"

"Assuming Max is female . . ." I waited for Ray's "Hell, yes." "Well, then, before Lucky and Etienne got down to business, they apparently pushed the girls out of bed and sent them on their way with no memory of the night." I smiled at Ray. The rock-star lifestyle was apparently just as sleazy as the tabloids made it out to be.

Good for him, a little disappointing to this adoring fan.

"According to Lucky's note, killing Ray would have been 'too easy.' I'm not sure whether it was Etienne or Lucky who proceeded to rip open Ray's throat to drain him dry, but that was just step one."

Nathan gasped, Flo moaned and Ray closed his eyes. Naturally Jerry and Richard were stoic. This was standard operating procedure. For Flo too, but this was her idol we were talking about. I had to take a steadying breath myself. Horrific is horrific, and if I stopped and actually pictured the scene, the bloody sheets, etc., well . . .

"Now here's where Ray caught a break, if you can wrap your mind around this new reality as a break. Lucky could have left him for dead. In fact, he
was
dead." I stopped when Nathan sobbed. "Yeah, pretty rough, I admit. I personally would like to see Lucky Carver six feet under. Unfortunately I made the mistake of making sure
that
won't happen. She's got eternity to wreak her particular brand of havoc on the world."

Flo jumped up and ran into the kitchen. She came back with a paper towel and handed it to Nathan. He used it to wipe his eyes.

"You poor man. This is horrible, isn't it?" She squeezed next to him in the chair and put her arm around him. "But, you see, there's a happy ending. Lucky obviously decided Ray should live forever. She is too new to do this herself." Flo looked at me. "I think Etienne made him vampire."

"Yeah. Lucky thought this would be a great punishment for Ray because he loves the sun so much." I swiped at my own suddenly watery eyes. "Now he'll never get to see it again except on TV or in the movies." Nathan turned to stare at Ray. "For real?"

Ray was still processing this. Oh, I'd told him, but the reality would obviously take a while to sink in. His tan, his videos, the very fact that he owned his own island complete with yacht said it all. He was a sun worshiper. Former sun worshiper. Oh, hell. I was going to fall into a full-blown crying jag if I didn't pull it together.

"Ray?" Nathan extricated himself from Flo's grasp. "Is what this woman's saying true? You can't ever go out in the sun again?"

"Guess not." Ray's careless shrug was more like a jerk, as if he was spasming and trying not to break down. Nathan grabbed hold of him and pulled him to his feet. They just stood there, holding on to each other in a display of male affection that made Richard and Jerry look away and Flo and me tear up again. Ray and Nathan suddenly realized they had an audience and in typical macho form, stepped back and hit each other on the shoulder.

"Hey, it'll be okay. We'll figure things out. But I couldn't lie to you. Or keep doing this whammy thing to you. It wasn't fair." Ray rubbed his shoulder like Nathan had really hit him a good one.

Nathan seemed more than ready to change the subject and gestured at Valdez. "What's with the talking dog?"

"I'm a shape-shifter."

"No shit. What other things can you be? Show me."

Valdez glanced at Jerry.
"No can do. I'm under contract to Mr. Blade here. As bodyguard to Gloriana. Until I finish, I can't
shift. But I'm a man just like you are, a little lighter maybe, when I'm not in dog body."
Nathan shook his head. "This is surreal. Way more interesting than those comics we used to read."

"Vampires can shape-shift too. We'll teach Ray how to do that eventually." Flo smiled and stood to smooth out her skirt. "Maybe I'll take on that part of your training. Glory's not too keen on shifting. Makes her nervous."

"Why, Glory?" Now that Nathan had decided to believe us, he was really interested. Easy to see the intelligence that had gotten him into Harvard.

"I freak out. I turned into this really giant creature once. But it was exhausting flying around like that. When it came time to shift back, I didn't think I had the energy. And I'd hate to be stuck as something other than my female form."

"Yeah, that'd be a damn shame." Nate grinned and winked, obviously as much a bad boy in his button-down collar and Gucci suit as Ray was. "But, wait. You said Ray could learn to do that?" Nate turned to his friend, then sighed.

"Sorry, buddy. You're obviously really upset. I get it. No sun. No food. And those fangs." Nate looked at Jerry and Richard.

"Don't mean to insult anybody, but they're really honkin' big things, aren't they?"

"Oh, yeah, that's not insulting the dudes, Nate. See how proud they are of them? I figure the bigger the better. It's a guy thing. Am I right?"

Jerry and Richard just grinned.

Ray frowned. "Aw, man. Mine don't seem very big. Florence? Should I be worried?" Flo rushed to his side. "Of course not, Ray. They're perfect. And they'll get larger as you mature as a vampire." She had her hand on his arm when Richard snagged her around the waist and hauled her back to his side. "Hmm. Like my caveman here. You see his are . . . enormous." She patted his cheek, apparently pleased by his possessiveness. Ray suddenly quit smiling. "Listen, Nate, now you see why I've got to stick around here for a while. Maybe we could rent a house. For a few months. I'm not saying move here permanently, but I've already figured out that I've got to stay near these other vampires until I learn what I need to survive. This isn't the movies. It's way more complicated than rolling out a coffin at dawn." Nathan frowned. "Yeah, yeah, I get that. But, hell, we've got a corporation. Obligations. If I cut the band loose, they'll be hell to get back together again when we're ready for them. And I promised the label execs that we'd make that album in the next two months. We've got contracts, commitments and payrolls to meet. People who depend on us."

"There are good studios in Austin. Bring them all here. Set them up in a hotel or rent a couple of houses. But I need to be in my own place. Separate from the, uh, mortals. Because of my weird hours and stuff." Ray jumped when his cell phone rang. He picked it up from the coffee table. "It's Dad. I'm going to tell him to fly out here. I'm not sure how I'm going to tell him about this, but it's got to be done."

"Jeez, Ray, this will kill him."

Ray just waved his hand as he answered the phone. The conversation was short and basically involved telling his father to catch the next plane to Austin. I was used as a convenient excuse. Jerry frowned when he heard that, but since he'd seen me with Ray, he knew it really was all just an act. Ray had barely hung up the phone when it rang again.

"My mother this time. You know, I think she's got some kind of telepathy or a wire tap. If I talk to Dad, she always calls a few minutes later." Ray answered the phone. This conversation was held in a foreign language. I looked at Nathan with a question in my eyes.

"Hebrew. His mom's strictly Orthodox Jew. So's his step-dad. Ever notice that Ray doesn't do concerts on Saturday nights? That's to respect his mother's beliefs. Ray's too, I guess. Ray's dad is more easygoing. I swear it's a miracle Ray's as balanced as he is considering the way his parents play tug-of-war with him. Rosh Hashanah with Mom, Hanukkah with Dad every year."

"He's a little old to be playing by their rules, isn't he?" We were whispering, but Ray had gone into the hall to talk anyway. Of course I already knew a lot of this from the tabloids and that unauthorized biography. Now Ray came back in.

"Okay, Nathan, been griping about my folks again?"

"Sure. Your no Saturday concert deal has cost both of us a ton of money over the years."

"Well if you had to listen to my mother complain about lapsed Jews, you'd make the same choice, so cool it, buddy. Besides, who flew forty-eight hours from Bangkok to sit down to Christmas dinner at his mother's table?"

"Yeah, yeah, but you've tasted her turkey and dressing." Nathan sat down hard. "Oh, man, the things you'll miss."

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