Read Bottom Up (3 page)
Authors: Neel Shah
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Subject: Re: Is This Awkward?
From: Madeline Whittaker
Date: Tue, Mar 4 at 10:02 AM
To: Elliot Rowe
Hey Elliot,
Look at you. I like the detective work, getting my email from Becca. It's just shy of creepy (creepy being “I didn't get your number so I got your address off this W9 you threw away, hope that's cool”). No, kidding, happy you wrote. So glad that things are so busy for you at the restaurant.
And sure, always happy to break beans (that sounds gross but you get the idea . . .) with a new friend.
I can't do Thursday but Tuesday works. After work? 6/7ish?
âMadeline
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Subject: Re: Is This Awkward?
From: Elliot Rowe
Date: Tue, Mar 4 at 12:06 PM
To: Madeline Whittaker
Madeline,
“Just shy of creepy” is actually my middle name. Seriously, my birth certificate reads, Elliot “Just Shy of Creepy” Rowe. Filling out my name on standardized test forms was always kind of a bummer.
“New friend,” huh? Ouch. At least do me a favor and wait till after the date before putting me in that category. :)
AND YES, I USE EMOTICONS FREQUENTLY AND AM NOT ASHAMED OF IT. AND CAPS LOCK TOO.
6/7ish, huh? How about 6:18, Broome Street Coffee?
âE“J.S.O.C”R
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Subject: Re: Is This Awkward?
From: Madeline Whittaker
Date: Tue, Mar 4 at 12:20 PM
To: Elliot Rowe
Elliot,
Let's say it then. Broome Street works. Though I might show up at 6:19 just to be a big girl about it. I'll be the one with the rose in my teeth. Dangling from the stem will be a slip of paper and on that slip of paper it'll read: “Wait, I thought you had a girlfriend!”
Just kidding. The rose thing has always sounded so painful!
Serious about that last bit though. :)
Looking forward . . .
Madeline
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Subject: Re: Is This Awkward?
From: Elliot Rowe
Date: Tue, Mar 4 at 12:42 PM
To: Madeline Whittaker
Wait, the girl I was making awkward small talk with?! That was my
ex
-girlfriend. Jeez, you really think I'd be asking you on a date if 1) I had a girlfriend, and 2) you saw me with her?! I'm not an animal!
And now we've gone and violated the cardinal First Date Rule banning talking about exes. Though I suppose there's nothing in the rule book that says you can't mention them
before
you go out.
See you there.
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-------- Forwarded Message --------
Subject: Re: Is This Awkward?
From: Elliot Rowe
Date: Tue, Mar 4 at 12:42 PM
To: Madeline Whittaker
Wait, the girl I was making awkward small talk with?! That was my
ex
-girlfriend. Jeez, do you really think I'd be asking you on a date if . . .
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Subject: Re: Is This Awkward?
From: Madeline Whittaker
Date: Tue, Mar 4 at 12:20 PM
To: Elliot Rowe
Elliot,
Let's say it then. Broome Street works. Though I might show up . . .
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Subject: Re: Is This Awkward?
From: Elliot Rowe
Date: Tue, Mar 4 at 12:06 PM
To: Madeline Whittaker
Madeline,
“Just shy of creepy” is actually my middle name. Seriously . . .
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Subject: [Fwd: Re: Is This Awkward?]
From: Madeline Whittaker
Date: Tue, Mar 4 at 12:45 PM
To: Emily Roberts
Stop the presses! He doesn't have a girlfriend.
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Subject: Re: [Fwd: Re: Is This Awkward?]
From: Emily Roberts
Date: Tue, Mar 4 at 12:47 PM
To: Madeline Whittaker
Oh, this works out VERY nicely because you, i might remind you, don't have a boyfriend. have fun.
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Subject: Re: [Fwd: Re: Is This Awkward?]
From: Madeline Whittaker
Date: Tue, Mar 4 at 1:02 PM
To: Emily Roberts
PS. i am a psycho because i do that thing where whatever greeting/salutation I'm presented with, that's what I reply with. So he left off our names and thus I will too.
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Subject: Re: [Fwd: Re: Is This Awkward?]
From: Emily Roberts
Date: Tue, Mar 4 at 1:13 PM
To: Madeline Whittaker
that's not psychotic, that's called “engaging your mirror.” report back.
xo
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Elliot
Mar 11, 11:52 PM
Madeline
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Mar 12, 12:02 AM
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Elliot
Mar 12, 10:06 AM
Madeline
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Mar 12, 10:48 AM
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Subject: (no subject)
From: David Meyer
Date: Wed, Mar 12 at 10:12 AM
To: Elliot Rowe
How was last night?
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Subject: Re: (no subject)
From: Elliot Rowe
Date: Wed, Mar 12 at 11:19 AM
To: David Meyer
Was fun. Ended up staying out pretty late and getting kind of drunk.
She's super funny and cool. I forgot how nice it is hanging out with girls over the age of 25. They're, like, fully-formed humans.
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Subject: Re: (no subject)
From: David Meyer
Date: Wed, Mar 12 at 1:14 PM
To: Elliot Rowe
You're not allowed to describe girls as “cool” after
Gone Girl
.
You going to see her again?
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Subject: Re: (no subject)
From: Elliot Rowe
Date: Wed, Mar 12 at 2:06 PM
To: David Meyer
Working nights rest of week and then supposed to see that chick I met at the Bowery Hotel on Friday, so we'll see.
Actually, Bowery girl texted me earlier asking if I had a friend for her friend. Do I have a friend for her friend?
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Subject: Re: (no subject)
From: David Meyer
Date: Wed, Mar 12 at 2:10 PM
To: Elliot Rowe
You do!
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Subject: Re: (no subject)
From: Elliot Rowe
Date: Wed, Mar 12 at 3:01 PM
To: David Meyer
Really respect how you said yes to this without even asking for a picture. #hero
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