Razing Kayne (3 page)

Christ, he couldn’t deal with this today. Kayne stood, threw some money on the table,
and stormed out.

He knew he had to let go, to find some way to forgive Oksana and move on before she
completely destroyed his life. Some days he felt so dead inside he was afraid she'd
already succeeded. Other days, like today, every emotion was so raw—anger, betrayal,
and overwhelming grief pulled him under, making him wonder why he bothered to live.

Kayne had no idea how long he'd been standing there staring at the snow-packed escarpment
when Del laid a hand on his shoulder and asked, “Do you want to talk about it, son?”
He heard nothing but compassion in the older officer's voice.

Kayne shook his head. No, he didn't fucking want to talk about it, he just wanted
to forget. Not that that would ever happen in this lifetime. “I need to get to the
office,” he managed to say.

“I'm here if you need someone to listen, and I give you my word it goes no further
than me.”

Kayne gave a brisk nod, unable to say anything else.

TWO

Jess startled awake when something warm and heavy pounced on her chest. Her blurry
eyes popped open to reveal curious azure ones staring back at her through a veil of
chocolate curls. Gracie. With creamy skin and fat rosy cheeks that dimpled when she
smiled Gracie was a beautiful toddler.

The little imp leaned forward, resting her forehead against Jess’s. “
You,
wake?” she whispered.

“No,” Jess whispered back. She wasn’t awake. “Snuggle?” Jess desperately needed a
little more sleep

Gracie looked thoughtful for a moment then nodded. “A’kay.”  She grabbed the covers
and tugged them back far enough to burrow in next to Jess.

Jess cuddled her two-year-old daughter close and let her mind drift willing it into
sleep. But like last night, her mind filled with thoughts of Officer Dobrescu and
the traffic stop instead of finding sleep.

She’d taken the children into the city for an afternoon of shopping, dinner, and a
movie at IMAX. It had been late by the time they’d left Tempe.
After two hours of driving Jess had desperately wanted to be home.
It’s why she’d been speeding.

The blacked out patrol car had been sitting in one of the local State Trooper’s favorite
spots to run radar. Expecting them to still be on their winter schedule where officers
only came out on an on-call basis between the hours of 10 pm and 6 am, she hadn’t
anticipated anyone being there. The moment she’d looked at her speed she knew he’d
be stopping her, so she’d pulled over to wait. Having been a dispatcher, she knew
how dangerous traffic stops were. She’d had her license and registration out, the
interior lights on, and her hands in plain sight by the time he approached the vehicle.

Jess had heard that the new officer was good looking, but she hadn’t expected the
sight of him to make her heart skip a beat.
Or the feel of his warm calloused hand brushing against hers to send goose bumps skittering
across her flesh.
He’d flashed a smile and flirted a little and she’d felt her cheeks heat. Heck just
thinking about how she’d flirted back had them flaming hot. Jess never flirted, especially
with sexy, charming men who were so decidedly out of her league.

“Mama.”
Gracie mumbled, pulling her out of her thoughts.

“What, baby?”

“Maddy make breakfast. Say no
tell
mama,” Gracie said worriedly.

Crap! While her ten-year-old daughter knew how to cook, she wasn’t allowed to do it
without an adult present.

Jess threw off the covers, resigned to be facing the day with lots of strong coffee
and little sleep. She grabbed her warm fuzzy robe and slipped her feet into house
shoes before heading toward the kitchen and the disaster she was sure was in the making
.

***

Twenty minutes later, the door swung open, and two little girls stared up at Kayne
from the foyer of Hallstatt House. He was taken aback by how much the littlest one
looked like his deceased daughter. Good God, how many times did he have to torture
himself like this, seeing his wife’s or children's faces in that of a stranger’s?

He shook the thoughts away. This beautiful little girl had nothing to do with his
past. It was the coloring that had thrown him off. Natalia, his eldest daughter, had
had similar blue eyes, framed by the same type of chocolate curls as the toddler in
front of him.

“Officer Dobrescu, can I help you?”

Kayne looked up to see Jessica watching him, her brow furrowed in confusion. He knew
he'd been staring at the baby like he'd seen a ghost.

The toddler reached out and wrapped her tiny hand around one of his large fingers.
She tugged, leaning all her weight into it. “
In!
” she demanded.

Kayne looked to Jessica for permission.

“Please, come in,” she said a little reluctantly and stepped out of the way.

“Up,
up!
”  The little girl held up her hands expectantly.

“Gracie...” Jessica’s tone was a warning.

“Peease.”
She turned huge blue eyes on him, batting her eyelashes.

Kayne couldn't help the bittersweet smile. She was adorable and knew it. And so fucking
much like
his own
two-year-old had been before she died. It broke his heart just to look at her.

“I don't think your mama wants strangers picking you up.” Kayne dropped down on his
heels to be closer to her level. “It's not safe.” He watched as Gracie pondered his
statement for a moment.

“What you name?” The little darling reached out a hand and laid it on his chest.

“Kayne.”
He instinctively covered her tiny hand with his.

“Gracie.” She pulled his hand to her chest. “Be mine friend?”

Kayne fought to keep from laughing, even as his heart wept. He looked at Jess, who
nodded.

“Yes, Gracie.” His voice thick with emotion, he managed to add, “I can be your friend.”
He stood up, taking her in his arms, being careful not to catch her delicate skin
on any of his duty equipment.

“Maddy and Ash made breakfast.”

He looked down at the little green-eyed blonde tugging on his uniform trousers. She
looked to be about four or five. The age his son Nickolai had been.

Jessica laughed softly. “I think they are trying to invite you to breakfast. Have
you eaten?”

No, he hadn't. He'd been too angry.

Pushing those emotions aside, Kayne focused on the woman before him. Jessica looked
like she'd just crawled out of bed, and damned if that didn't make him want to drag
her right back into it. She was tiny, just as he’d expected. Her hair, a riot of dark
blonde curls that fell almost to her waist, beckoned his fingers to tangle in it while
he kissed those luscious, berry-stained lips. The functional robe she wore was anything
but sexy, but it left his imagination to run wild. What, if anything, was she wearing
beneath? He felt his body begin to respond and realized that was a bad idea.

“I really shouldn't stay. I just came by to give you back your driver's license.”
He pulled it from his pocket and handed it to her, along with the vehicle registration.
“Sorry.”

“I'll probably need that in the near future.”

“Planning on speeding again?”

“Without a doubt.”
She laughed, and there was that dimple again.

Oh, boy!
Time to get the hell out of Dodge.

“Anyway I better get going.” He tried to hand Gracie off to her mother, but the little
imp was having none of that.

“No!
Pease,
pease!
”
Gracie hung on tight
.

Kayne looked down at the little girl clinging to him like a spider monkey, then to
Jessica, at a loss. He hadn’t held a child since the last time he’d held his own.

Jessica took the decision out of his hands. “Isabelle, show Officer Dobrescu to the
kitchen while I get dressed.”

***

Jess flinched inwardly as soon as the invitation left her lips. Inviting Kayne to
breakfast probably wasn't the smartest idea she'd had, but her brain clearly wasn’t
functioning this morning. There for a minute she thought she'd seen lust in his eyes,
but that was ridiculous. She looked like she'd just crawled out of bed. The Hausfrau
look was anything but sexy.
Especially to someone like him.

“Yay!”
Gracie threw her arms around his neck and nosily kissed his cheek.

Kayne followed Isabelle into the kitchen, and Jess quickly introduced him to her ten-year-old
daughter, Madelina, and her seven-year-old son, Ashur, then excused herself to get
dressed.

The moment she was out of sight, she raced to her room. Quickly she threw on jeans
and a T-shirt, ran a brush through her hair, scrubbed her face, and brushed her teeth.
She applied a little mascara but pulled up short when she reached for her lip gloss.
What the hell was she doing? She had no interest in trying to impress the sexy officer.

And was he ever sexy.

Even Kevlar couldn't hide that tall, lean-muscled body. Butterflies had taken flight
in the pit of her stomach the moment the girls opened the door, and they hadn't settled
down since. She could look, she reasoned, there was just no point in wanting to touch.
As if someone like him would want to touch her. He exuded sexuality. And she…well,
didn't.

Jess tossed the lip gloss back on the counter, thoroughly disgusted with
herself
, and headed for the kitchen. When she rounded the corner, she froze mid-stride, surprised
by the scene playing out before her. Instead of taking a seat, Kayne had taken over
the kitchen. He laughed at Ash's tractor joke; said something quietly to him that
made Maddy gasp and turn and threaten both of them with her spatula as she puffed
up in righteous indignation. Boy and man laughed harder and bumped fists.

Jess stood there watching, trying to remember a time when her husband had ever set
foot into her kitchen for anything other than a beer or a snack for himself. He'd
certainly never done anything like this.

Still holding Gracie, Kayne cut two waffles into bite-sized pieces and poured two
sippy-cups full of milk, before planting Gracie in a highchair and Isabelle next to
her. He'd obviously spent time around small children, yet he wasn't wearing a ring.
As if that meant anything.

***

God he'd missed this, Kayne realized as he looked at the children surrounding him.
All so different in appearance and yet each happy, healthy, and loved.
They chatted animatedly
amongst themselves, arguing as they made a list of where they wanted to go today and
questioning if their mother would agree. The library was surprisingly at the top of
everyone's list.

“Do they have children's activities?” Kayne asked.

“A few, but we usually just go to check out books,” Maddy offered.

He'd learned that everyone called her Maddy. Ashur answered to Ash, and in true seven-and-a-half-year-old—one
mustn’t forget that extra half—fashion, claimed to be a computer whiz. Isabelle was
princess and fashion diva rolled into one, and decided she liked it when he called
her 'Sabella, once he explained it was his baby sister's nickname.

Grace didn't care what anyone called her, as long as she was the center of attention.
Having only spent a few minutes with the kids, it was still abundantly clear to Kayne
that each was advanced for their respective age.

When he voiced that observation Maddy said, “Mama has been reading to us since she
got us.”

“
Got
you?”
Kayne’s brow furrowed in confusion.

Maddy shrugged. “We're adopted.”

Which explained the vast differences in their looks.
“All of you?” Kayne couldn't help but study Gracie.

Jessica returned. “Yes, all of
them,
and you're in my kitchen.”

There was a first—he'd never had a woman complain about him working in the kitchen.
In fact, his mom had demanded he know how to cook, and cook well.

“Your kids were in the kitchen.”

“You're not one of my children.” She handed him a plate of food.

“Short-stuff, hang out with me for a while, and you probably won't be able to tell
the difference.” That got the laugh he was hoping for.

Though he felt like he should be helping, Kayne reluctantly accepted the plate and
took the seat next to Gracie's high chair.

Ash leaned across the table and whispered, “We're not allowed in the kitchen, either.”

Gracie leaned over and scooped up a handful of his eggs, then dropped them onto her
plate. She smiled up at him and mumbled “thanks” around a mouthful of waffle. God,
even her personality reminded him of his daughter. How many times had Natalia done
that exact thing?

“Yet you guys made breakfast anyways?” He was desperate to leave thoughts of his own
children behind. This was such a colossal mistake. He had no business here.

Maddy gave a mutinous smile. “Mama cooks breakfast on school days, but weekends we're
stuck with cold cereal or leftovers, unless we can convince her otherwise.”

Ash let out a giggle. “You just happened to step foot on the H.M.S. Bounty.”

Kayne stage whispered to Jessica, “Well Captain Bligh, gonna make them walk the plank?”

“I guess that depends on how well they clean up the kitchen.”

Four hopeful sets of eyes looked at Kayne for a response. Apparently they expected
him to help.

Kayne was looking for a tactful way out of spending any more time with the kids when
he heard his call sign among the relentless chatter coming across the police scanner
sitting atop a kitchen cabinet.
“Eleven-three-eight, copy traffic.”

Saved by the dispatcher.

Jessica gave him a knowing smile as she stood
.
She stretched up on tip-toes to turn down the scanner, giving him a peek of creamy
white skin just above her waistband when her shirt lifted
up. With the scanner turned down, he could respond on his portable radio without feedback.
He learned the call was a disabled semi-tractor-trailer blocking the highway.