Rayne's Return (Hearts of ICARUS Book 3) (7 page)

“Thank you.  That helps.”

“If you’re finished eating, we can take you to the master suite now.”

“Yes, please,” she replied.  All three of them leapt into action.  In just a few moments she found herself in Landor’s arms, wrapped in a thick, fluffy comforter, and moving up the corridor to the master suite at blurring speed. 

“This is beautiful,” she said, when Landor crossed the threshold.  The room was done in shades of blue from dark navy to pale blue, with thick carpeting, an enormous four poster bed with curtains tied back at each corner that matched the deep blue velvet comforter, and so much more that it was impossible to take in everything with a single look. 

“We’re glad you like it,” Landor said as he carried her into the bathroom, which matched the bedroom in various shades of blue. 

Con started the water in the tub, then added something to it that caused the water to foam, and filled the room with a light flowery aroma.  “Honeysuckle,” she said, smiling.  “That’s my favorite fragrance.”

“Is it?” Landor asked, not quite meeting her eyes.  He set her on the counter and unwrapped the comforter.  Then he reached for the hem of her shirt, preparing to pull it up and over her head.  She placed her hands over his, stopping him. 

“I can do this by myself.”

Landor didn’t bother reaching for her emotions, certain that if he did all he’d find was the same calm they always felt from her, just like they couldn’t smell her, except on a few rare occasions.  Instead, he looked into her eyes, not too surprised to find fear and embarrassment.  The embarrassment was easy to understand but, unfortunately, her eyes couldn’t tell him what it was that frightened her.  “We can’t leave you alone for that long,
Kisu
.”

He nearly swore when the fear in her eyes doubled.  “You told me that I was shielded when you left me alone in the bathroom earlier.”

“Yes, and you are shielded,” he assured her.  “You can’t be transported off this ship unless we remove it, I promise.”  Rayne relaxed a little, so he continued.  “But I only left you alone for a couple of minutes.  You’re going to want more time than that, and I’m not sure we’re capable of staying away that long.”

“I don’t understand,” she said.  “Why not?”

Landor didn’t want to point out just how poor her physical condition was, so he said the only other thing he could think of that was also true.  “We’re just not capable of letting you out of our sight for that long.” 

“What does
Kisu
mean?” she asked, buying time to think the situation over.

“It means rain, but more than that, it means the type of rain that falls in summer, soft and cool on the skin.  The kind of rain that makes you want to go outside and stand in it with your face turned up to the sky.”

“I like that,” she whispered, then gathered her courage one more time.  “It’s being naked in front of you that bothers me.  I never thought of myself as being particularly shy before, but I don’t look like me, and that makes it more difficult than I’d like it to be.”

“You’re our
berezi
, Rayne,” Landor said.  “There is no reason for you to be self-conscious with us.”

“Nevertheless, I am.”  If she hadn’t been staring into his eyes when she spoke, she would have missed the brief flash of pain her words caused.  She patted his hand lightly.  “I’m self-conscious about looking at myself right now, so please don’t take it personally.”  Landor looked into her eyes for a long moment, then sighed and looked away.  “What is it?” she asked.  “Tell me, please.”

Landor glanced over at Con and Ari, who were both watching and listening.  They moved closer so that they all stood in front of Rayne, then he took a calming breath, knowing he had to be as honest as she was being. 

“Even though you can’t yet remember what you’ve been through, there is evidence enough to tell us that you’ve traveled through nine levels of hell and back again.  You’ve been so strong for such a long time, and you’ve been through so much.  All of it alone.  Since what happened to you occurred in our future, there’s nothing we can do to change the fact that we weren’t there for you when you needed us.  All we can do is ask that you allow us to help you
now
, while it is within our ability to do so.”

The sincerity in his violet eyes touched Rayne in a way she couldn’t ignore.  Suddenly, the idea of refusing their help when it clearly meant so much to them seemed petty and selfish.  What difference did it make if they saw her naked, anyway?  It couldn’t be much worse than what they’d already seen.  “Of course you can help me,” she said, patting his hand again.

“Thank you,” Landor replied hoarsely, then cleared his throat.  “I think we can compromise, if you’re willing.”

“Compromise how?”

“Con and Ari will leave now.  I’ll help you into the tub without looking at you any more than strictly necessary, and then I’ll leave as well.  You can take your bath in privacy, but we’ll keep the door open just enough so that we can hear you if you need us.”

“All right,” Rayne said, nodding.  It seemed like a good solution for all of them.  “Do you guys mind?” she asked, looking at Con and Ari.

“Not in the slightest,” Con assured her.  “We want what’s best for you, Rayne.  That’s all this is about.”

“Thanks, Con,” she whispered.

“Relax and enjoy your bath,” Ari said.  “We won’t go far.”

“Dim the lights on your way out, would you please, Ari?” Landor asked as they turned to walk away.

“Of course,” he replied.  The lights dimmed until it was almost too dark to see.  Then a small light flared and Rayne looked around Landor to see Con placing candles on the edge of the tub.  He gave her a quick smile, then left the room behind Ari.

When they were alone, Landor reached for the hem of her shirt again and lifted it over her head in one smooth motion.  In spite of their agreement, her first reaction was to raise her full shield so that he couldn’t see her, but she stopped herself just in time.  They didn’t know about her shields.  If she suddenly vanished, he might very well assume she’d been transported away, and she couldn’t do that to him just because she was embarrassed.

She couldn’t help but cross her arms over her breasts, even though she trusted him to keep his word and not look.  He scooped her up and carried her to the enormous tub meant for four, and lowered her into the water, releasing her only when he was sure she was settled securely on one of the built in seats. 

“How’s the temperature?” he asked, reaching for the washcloth and body wash Con and Ari had placed nearby for her.

“It’s a little warmer than I expected but it feels wonderful.”  She looked down, relieved when she saw that the foamy bubbles hid her all the way up to her shoulders, then accepted the items Landor held out for her.

“I can add more cold water,” he offered.

“No, this is fine,” she said, setting the body wash on the edge of the tub.  She reached up with one hand to touch her scalp.  “I don’t suppose I’ll have much use for shampoo any more.” 

“It won’t grow back?” Landor asked.

“Maybe, but I don’t think so,” she said.  She tried to sound as though she didn’t really care, but Landor had no trouble seeing the sadness in her eyes that she otherwise hid so well.

Several responses went through Landor’s mind but he remained silent.  There’d been enough emotional talk for one morning already, and he wanted her to relax and enjoy her bath.  He touched her cheek lightly with the tips of his fingers, then stood up.  “If you call us and we don’t come, clap your hands, or bang the bottle of body wash on the edge of the tub,” he said.  “We’ll hear that for sure.”  Rayne nodded, then watched as he left, leaving the door open just a few inches, as agreed. 

She turned her attention to bathing, surprised at how relieved she felt to know that she wasn’t alone, and yet at the same time, they weren’t watching her.  That knowledge allowed her to lean back and enjoy the luxurious sensation of being immersed in hot, scented water. 

While she soaked, she thought about the Bearen-Hirus.  They were certainly beautiful to look at, and she’d caught herself staring at them more than once.  But good looks had never been all that high on her Rami wish list.  It was much more important to her that they’d been very kind, unfailingly gentle, and completely honorable.  And, for just that one moment, she’d felt a connection with each of them.

Unfortunately, they weren’t physically attracted to her.  She wasn’t sure how she knew that, but she did.  She knew how bad she looked, and if they’d been human men that might have been a factor.  But they weren’t human.  They were Clan Jasani.  She’d never heard of a male-set not reacting sexually to their
berezi
unless she was too young, and her appearance had nothing whatsoever to do with it.  The act of identifying their
berezi
was, in itself, a sexual response for a male-set.  It was supposed to be, anyway. 

In addition, there was something warning her to hold her feelings back.  The harder she tried to understand what that something was, the sadder she felt.  After a few minutes she decided to let it go.  The answer would come to her eventually and when it did, she’d deal with it. 

She stayed in the tub until the water began to feel uncomfortably cool before deciding it was time to get out.  She’d already eyed the steps that led up and out of the tub and come to the inescapable conclusion that it wouldn’t be very smart to try them on her own.  She called Landor as loudly as her whispery voice would allow, relieved when he heard her on the second try because the idea of clapping her hands to summon him made her cringe.

“Finished?” he asked, entering the bathroom with his face turned away from her.

“Yes, I think so,” she replied, watching as he grabbed a towel from a stack on the counter, shook it out, and approached the tub.

“Can you stand up or would you like a little help?”

“I can stand,” she said, then held her breath as she pushed herself up to her feet and climbed the first two steps so that the water reached just to her knees.  There was one moment of wobbliness but it passed after a moment.  Landor was holding the towel up like a curtain, blocking his view of her, which made her smile though she didn’t know why.  She reached for the top edge, and he lowered it, then helped her wrap it around herself before he lifted her up and out of the tub.  He carried her to the counter, set her down on the comforter that was still there, then reached for another towel and began drying her legs and feet while she handled the rest.  When she was dry Landor shook out a clean t-shirt and helped her on with it before removing the last towel. 

“I need to get my things from the
Ugaztun
,” she said, tugging the t-shirt down, secretly relieved that the new shirt smelled like the first one had.  Like him. 

“I’ll mention that when I speak with your parents,” Landor said as he lifted her off the counter and carried her into the bedroom where Ari and Con were waiting. 

“Do you want to rest now?” he asked, stopping beside the bed. 

“Yes, I do,” she said.  “I know I haven’t done anything but I’m really tired for some reason.”

“Your body has been through a lot,” Con said, watching as Landor lowered her to the bed they’d turned down for her.  “It needs rest to get better.”

“While you were bathing Con set up a meeting for me to speak with your parents,” Landor said once she was settled.  “I’ll transport over to the
Ugaztun
now, and Con and Ari will watch over you while you sleep.”

“I appreciate that, but I’m sure you have more important things to do than stand around and watch me sleep all the time,” she said.  She was still afraid to be alone, but they didn’t need to know that.  And besides, she wasn’t as afraid as she’d been the night before.  “No one knows I’m here, so I should be okay alone, right?”

“Probably, but we’re not taking any chances,” Con said. 

“That reminds me,” Landor said, “you have a choice to make.  You can either stay here, in the master suite, or you can have the room directly between mine, and Con’s, and across the hall from Ari’s.  Whichever one you choose, we’ll install an alarm system and weave a shield around it so you’ll be able to sleep without us watching you.”

“I’d prefer the smaller room,” she whispered.

“Good, that’s settled then,” Con said.  “We’ll prepare it for you later, but for now, you’re stuck with us.”

“Thanks, guys.” 

“You’re welcome,” Landor said.  “Is there anything in particular you’d like me to say, or not say to your parents?”

“No,” she said, then covered her mouth with her hand as she yawned.  “I suggest you speak with my Dads, without Mom.  Otherwise they’ll probably get angry with you for upsetting her.  Plus, they’ll be able to break the news to her themselves, in private, which they’ll appreciate.”

“Good advice,” Landor said.  He leaned down to kiss her gently on the forehead.  “Rest,
Kisu
.”  She was surprised by the kiss, and smiled up at him before she could stop herself.  Then she closed her eyes and sighed tiredly.  Moments later her breathing evened out, and they knew she was asleep.  Landor gave each of his brothers a long look, a silent reminder not to leave her alone for a single moment.  Then he turned, and left. 

***

“Do you know why Landor wants to speak with us?” Trey Dracon asked his eldest brother.

“No idea,” Garen replied.  “I know only that it’s important, and extremely private.”

“Sounds like they’ve finally decided to tell Rayne that she’s their
berezi
,” Trey said with a smile.

“About damn time, too,” Garen said.  “I don’t know why they waited this long.”

“I don’t know
how
they waited this long,” Trey said.  Then he frowned.  “On the other hand, if that’s what he’s coming to tell us, why is he coming alone, and why is it
extremely
private?”

Garen’s head tilted to one side, listening.  “We’re about to find out,” he said just before the door opened.  A young man stepped inside with Landor just behind him.  He opened his mouth, but Garen raised a hand to stop him.  “It’s all right, Timothy, we don’t need an announcement.”