Rayne's Return (Hearts of ICARUS Book 3) (28 page)

“In that case, I withdraw my request that you change it,” Landor said.  “And I apologize.”

“There’s no reason to apologize.  You thought I was swearing, which is what I wanted people to think when I came up with the idea in the first place.  I can hardly blame you for that.  I am curious though.”

“Yes, we do swear occasionally,” Ari said, already knowing what she was going to say. 

“Bit of a double standard, don’t you think?”

“I can see how it would appear that way if you don’t know all the facts,” Con said, winking at her.

“Good point,” she replied.  “So what’re the facts?”

“We don’t object to women swearing as a general rule.  Some it suits, some it doesn’t.  It’s the same for men.”

“We don’t think swearing suits you, but we’d never try to tell you how to talk, or try to govern the words you use,” Landor added.  “Like I said, we’re just a bit old fashioned.”

“I like that kind of old fashioned,” she said.  “Anything else about me you’d like to change?”

“I’m looking forward to the day you return to your previous hair length and color,” Ari said.

“And I don’t like those contacts you wear,” Landor added.  “They hide your true self from me.”

“That’s it?” she asked in surprise.  “Truly?”

“There may be things we don’t like now and then,” Con said.  “But that’s true of all people.  I’ve no doubt at all that my bad habit of saying things I don’t mean when I’m angry will irritate you on a fairly regular basis.  So, no, we truly don’t want you to change at all.”

“I love you guys,” she said, smiling happily.  They returned her smile, but said nothing.  She frowned.  “How do you already know that?  It isn’t that tri-whatever it was you talked about earlier, is it?  Did you forget to tell me you can read my mind or something?”

“No we can’t read your mind, and no, it’s not tri-phase,” Landor said, his smile widening to a grin.  “You told us you love us earlier, before you went to sleep.”

“Well, that’s all right then,” she said, then yawned so widely that her jaw made a popping sound.  Landor laid down on his back and pulled her over on top of him.  Con raised the blanket to cover her back, and she snuggled in, closed her eyes, and let sleep take her away, secure in the knowledge that her men would never let anything harm her.  For the first time in a year, she felt truly safe.

Chapter 13

365 Days in the Future

Rayne knelt in the straw beside the once magnificent golden dragon and wiped her face.  She’d cried so many tears since discovering Salene that she was surprised she had any left.  She turned off the hand terminal, then stared down at it, thinking. 

“Can you send the hand terminal back with me, Wolef?”

“No,
Solin
, I’m afraid not.”

“A lot of new jump points have been discovered in the past decade or two, so it might be possible to return and destroy this place in less than eight days.  For my sister’s sake, I must try.  But I can’t afford to waste any of that time trying to remember all of this first.”

“You required less help from me tonight than I expected, so I have some energy left,”
Wolef said thoughtfully. 
“Enough, I think, to send you and that garment you’re wearing, along with a simple memory or two.”

“Would a memory of Salene and what happened to her be too complicated?”

“Yes, I’m afraid so.  I could insure that you remember you traveled back in time one year, though.”

Rayne stood up, then bent to brush the straw from her knees.  She paused with one stiff stalk in her hand, then straightened slowly, spinning it between her fingers. 
“I could use this straw to write a message for myself.”

“On what?”

“It would have to be on this shift, since it’s the only thing you can send me back with.”

“And what will you use as ink?”

“The only fluid I have at my disposal,”
Rayne said, walking around to the front of the dragon whose snout was nearly as high as she was tall. 
“I can use one of your claws to scratch my arm deeply enough to make myself bleed.  What do you think, Wolef?  Will it work?”
  She waited a moment.  “
Wolef
?”

“I apologize,
Solin
,”
he said. 
“I’m just a little overwhelmed by the quality of your courage.”

“It’s just a little blood,”
she said, embarrassed.  “
Do you think it’ll work?
”

“Yes,
Solin
, I do believe it will,”
he replied. 
“I suggest you write your message on the inside of your shift, however, in case the Doftle catch you.”

“You think they’ll catch me?”
Rayne asked, her heart skipping a beat in fear.

“Unfortunately, someone has noticed that the maintenance Doftle on duty tonight is missing.  He doesn’t suspect foul play as yet, and is on his way to check the restrooms and cafeteria.  We have a little time before they begin searching for him in earnest, but I’ve no doubt that when they do they’ll begin with the cells.”

“Then I best hurry,”
she said.  She bent and quickly selected several strands of hay and twisted them together to form a stiff bunch.  She pulled off her shift, turned it inside out, and spread it out on the straw.  Then she chose the smallest claw on one of Wolef’s front feet and, without hesitation, dragged her left arm across the point.

It took much longer to write the messages than she’d expected, and a lot more blood, too. 
“They’ve found the dead Doftle in your cell,
Solin
,”
Wolef announced just as she finished.  Rayne gathered the shift, pain baton, card key and hand terminal together, then froze as the sound of voices reached her.

“Climb in between my forelegs and hide beneath my neck,”
Wolef said urgently.  She immediately did as Wolef said, ducking down into the tight space just as the cell door lock
thunked
, then slid open.  Heavy footsteps approached the dragon, paused, then walked all the way around him.  Rayne kept her head down and her eyes squeezed shut, hardly daring to breathe.  Finally, the footsteps went back toward the door.  She heard the door slide shut, then the
thunk
as the lock engaged, but she continued to wait for Wolef to tell her it was safe.

“They’ve searched all the cells but they suspect you’re still on this level,”
Wolef said after a few moments.  “
They’re going to activate the cell cameras.  It’s time to send you back.”

Rayne pulled the shift on over her head, then stared at the objects she’d stolen from the Doftle she’d killed. 
“What should I do with these?”

“Would you like me to send them to the past?”

“Do you think I’ll need them?”

“Anything is possible,”
Wolef replied.

“Then yes, please,”
she said. 

“Tuck them in between my toes.  The webbing will prevent them from slipping to the floor when they change the straw.”
  Rayne did as he asked, making sure they couldn’t be seen. 
“What memories would you like me to send you back with?”

Rayne had been thinking about that. 
“You said one or two, right?”

“Three if they aren’t complicated.”

“All right then, I’d like to remember that I was sent back in time, that no one can know I’m there, and, if possible, that my memories will soon return.”

“Good choices,”
he said. 
“They are simple enough that I should be able to send all three of them with you.  You do realize that you’ve no choice now but to bring your bears back with you, don’t you?”

“Yes, I do,”
she replied. 
“That’s why I included the voice key to the Controller spy on the
Armadura
with my
reminders.”

“Very good,”
Wolef said.  “
Are you ready?”

“Yes,”
she replied calmly even though she felt scared and nervous.  “
Thank you, Wolef.  For all that you’ve done, for giving me this chance, but mostly for being my friend.  I swear I will come back.”

“I know you will,”
he said. 
“Brace yourself.”

***

The first thing Rayne noticed when she woke up to the sound of Landor and Ari talking was that her bed felt a little warmer, and a lot lumpier, than usual.  Not in a bad way though.  She was more comfortable than she could remember being in a very long time.  The second thing she noticed was that there was a strange thumping sound that she couldn’t identify.  The harder she focused on it, the louder it seemed to get.  By the time she realized it was a heartbeat, she was almost fully awake.  She breathed Landor’s scent deeply into her lungs and smiled before the question of what she was doing sleeping on top of him hit her.  Her eyes flew open and she lifted her head, surprised that she’d forgotten the previous night’s events for even a moment.

“Good morning,” Landor said from above her.  She turned to look up at him and smiled even though she knew her face had to be pink with embarrassment when she realized she was naked, and so was he.  Suddenly she stiffened, then sighed.

“What’s the matter?”

“I just remembered something and even though it’s something you guys need to know, I kind of wish I hadn’t.”

“That bad?” Landor asked. 

“Not really,” Rayne said.  “I mean, it’s not bad in the way that my other memories have been bad.”

“Oh,” Landor said.  He glanced at Ari who was standing beside the bed, tying the belt on his robe.  Ari shrugged, so Landor looked back down at Rayne and told the truth.  “I don’t understand that at all.”

She sighed heavily and pushed herself up.  Landor immediately helped her to move off of him so that she was sitting beside him and Ari handed her one of his clean t-shirts.  She pulled it over her head just before Con entered with a heavily laden tray.  A few minutes later they were all sitting on the bed eating pastry and drinking coffee.  Even though Landor displayed no impatience at all, she knew he was worried so.

“Do you remember when you asked me how we’d be able to find the
Facility
once we got to Buhell?”

“Yes, of course,” Landor replied.  “You didn’t remember.”

“I do now.  I wish I didn’t have to tell you this, but I do.”  She sipped her coffee, then turned the cup in her hands nervously.  “Wolef said that…,” she paused, then cleared her throat before beginning again.  “When we were trying to come up with a way for me to pinpoint the exact location of the
Facility
when I returned, he told me that he could duplicate the calls I sent out, down to my brain waves.”  She took another sip of her coffee and waited, hoping she didn’t have to be more specific.

“I’m sorry, Rayne, but I don’t …,” Landor trailed off as the truth hit him.  “Oh hell,” he said hoarsely.  “You called for us all that time, didn’t you?”  She nodded.  “Even after hearing our stars be-damned conversation on the mesa, you still called for us.  You needed us, and we never came.”  He shook his head.  “I don’t understand why you wouldn’t want to tell us this.  You should be furious with us.  You should want us to know how badly we failed you.”

“Landor, this is Rayne you’re talking to, remember?” Ari said.  “She didn’t want to tell us for
our
sakes.”  Rayne nodded but kept her eyes on the cup in her hands.

“I don’t understand,” Landor said.

“She didn’t want us to know how desperately she tried to reach us because she doesn’t want us to feel badly about it.  She’s protecting us.”

A heavy silence fell as all three men tried to absorb the fact that their
berezi
had been in dire need, and her calls had gone unanswered.  It was unthinkable and yet, it had happened. 

“I can’t tell you how sorry I am that we failed you so badly, Rayne,” Landor said.  “But it’s not your responsibility to protect us.  It’s ours to protect
you
.”

She raised her head at that, her blue green eyes flashing at him.  “Firstly, you didn’t
fail
because you haven’t even lived that year yet,” she pointed out.  “Secondly, we have no idea what you did after I was taken in that other timeline, but knowing you as I do now, I suspect you spent every minute of that year searching for me.  And thirdly, I’d
love
to hear you tell my mother that women aren’t supposed to protect their Rami.  Let me know when you plan to do that, would you?  Because I’d like to sell tickets.  The Jasani Women’s Sanctuary could always use a hefty donation.” 

“We are more than happy to contribute to the Sanctuary whenever you like, but that is a discussion that can wait for another time,” Landor said.  “Right now, I’d like to discuss the matter of you calling for us, and us not responding.”

“Why?” she asked.  “In this timeline, where we are right now, it never happened.”

“Not for us, no, but it
did
happen for you, Rayne, and you were deeply hurt by it.”  Rayne stared down at her coffee again.  “You needed us, and we weren’t there for you, and that’s a part of you now.  It’s engraved on your mind and in your heart, and it always will be.  That’s the reason you hid your emotions from us after you arrived.  Your subconscious remembered, even though your conscious mind did not.”

“Wolef told me I was being unreasonable,” she said softly.  “He said that my calls weren’t very strong, and that it would have taken a miracle for you to have heard me beyond even a short distance, and he was right.”

“No, he wasn’t, and you know that,” Landor chided gently.  “If we’d claimed you when you became an adult, we’d have been soul-linked when you were taken.  No amount of distance would have prevented us from knowing how much you needed us.  We might not have been able to find you, but we would have tried, and you would have
known
we were trying.”