Raw: The Ultimate Mc Collection (29 page)

“Oh, fuck.” I sank to the couch, my eyes glued to the screen.

“Don’t be alarmed, Lacey,” Grace said, sitting down next to me and taking my hand.  “We knew this was going to happen. You’re safe here, I promise.”

I nodded silently.

“Police haven’t released any details on the manner of death of Mayor Patterson. The President of the Council, Ron Green, will take over all mayoral duties for the time being.”  The blonde, perky reporter was holding a microphone that was almost as big as her face, and he eyes were as sharp as a hawks.  “We’ll be updating you as more information comes in. I’m Diana Trudeau, with KATU news, Portland.”

Riot turned off the television and I felt everyone’s eyes on me again.  I felt like I was going to be sick.  I knew this was going to happen, but the reality of it all was just too overwhelming.

“How can you be so sure they won’t find me?” I asked Grace again.  I turned to look at her, and was comforted by the confidence in her eyes.

“Because that’s what we do, Lacey.  And we take our job very seriously,” she replied.

I nodded, wanting so desperately to believe her, but the creeping doubt inched deeper into my soul.

You killed Monty
, that silent voice reminded me.

“I hope you’re right,” I said.  “I’m going to get some sleep now.  I’m so exhausted.”

“Of course,” Grace said gently.  “Let us know if you need anything.”

I stood up, avoiding all the eyes that were turned my way, especially Riot’s.

I knew if I looked at him again, I would either spontaneously kiss him again, or more likely, burst out crying.

And that wasn’t me.

I pushed all the thoughts away, and pushed the pain as deep as it would go inside me, and walked to my room alone.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Riot

Goddamn, it hurt to see her like that.  She looked like she had seen a ghost by the time she finished watching that newscast, and who wouldn’t, with their face plastered all over the TV like that?

She had gone through hell, and it wasn’t over, not by a long shot.  I knew what starting over felt like, but not when you were forced to assume a new identity all alone.

All of us Gods had gone through some sort of hell, otherwise we wouldn’t be here.  We’d be suited up in a corner office or something.  Instead, we were suited up in leather and tattoos, and the constant smell of booze and weed was our cologne.  But the thing that kept us all sane was that, at the very least, we had each other.  It was a brotherhood of misfits, and I was thankful to be a part of it.

But it just made me feel that much worse that we would soon be sending Lacey off into the world by herself.  Sure, Grace had all sorts of support networks in place, but it wasn’t the same as every day companionship.

After the usual partying had died down, hours after Lacey had gone to her room, I drunkenly retreated to my own room, refusing Slade’s constant provoking and prodding as he tried to goad me into fighting him again.  I had no desire to do that tonight, even though it often made me feel better to pummel his smug face into submission.

But not tonight, no.  I laid in bed, my mind swimming from the intoxicating effects of the whiskey I had consumed, but even more so, the lips I had consumed earlier.  The pain in Lacey’s eyes afterwards haunted me for hours as I tossed and turned, unable to get to sleep, the liquor failing miserably in doing its job.

Finally, I got up and rolled a joint.  I walked out to the porch for some fresh air, and lit it.  Right away, the big swoosh of white wings caught my eye and I turned to the left to see Oliver and Olivia sitting there blinking their big yellow eyes at me.

“Hey there.  You two can’t sleep either?”  I laughed at my own joke.  “I guess this is lunch time for you.”

I wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but I loved these two owls.  Many a night they kept me company - either here or at the river while I worked out.  I was glad when Olivia starting showing up with Oliver.  I was beginning to worry about the little bastard, and it was nice to see he had found a mate.

“Shouldn’t you two be out hunting for squirrels or torturing crows or something?”  I asked them.

They blinked at me silently, the slight breeze blowing the edges of their feathers lightly.  Oliver puffed up, his white wings raising slightly behind him as he began his usual nightly song.  It was a deep cooing sound, the who-who-whoing at the end always louder than the beginning.  I loved it and when Olivia joined in with him, I smiled.

“You two should have your own Broadway musical or something.”  I inhaled deeply, the thick smoke doing its job of relaxing me.  I looked out at the trees swaying in the wind above me.  I loved it here - this clubhouse, my brothers.  I had even grown to love Grace and the work I did with her.  But damn, if it wasn’t a hard existence.

Sometimes, I wondered where I would be if I hadn’t killed that guy in the ring.  If I had just stayed on the path I had so methodically laid out for myself when I was younger.  If I would have found a wife, had a family, a dog or two.

I sighed, letting all the frustrations slide away into the night.  I was here now.  No sense in wasting time wondering ‘what if’.  I had to accept my life as it was now, and all the twists and turns along the way that led me here.

They say all that stuff only serves to make you stronger, but seems to me it’s only made me tired and weary and skeptical about life in general.  And if I weren’t any of those things, then maybe I wouldn’t feel like such a dick for letting my thoughts about Lacey progress to anything except wanting to help her.  But I did.  I felt like the biggest asshole in the world.

All these fantasies that I couldn’t shake, of wanting to kiss her again, to touch her, to press her naked skin against me and show her how a real man makes love, with nothing but his woman’s pleasure on his mind…she didn’t need those things from me, I knew that, but damn if I didn’t want to give them to her anyway.

She needed a friend.   Not another fucking asshole to want her for just her body.

Lost in thought, I didn’t hear the door open behind me. Oliver and Olivia didn’t seem to feel the need to warn me, either, so when I felt a soft hand on my shoulder, I jumped ten feet in the air.

“I’m so sorry!” I turned to see Lacey’s eyes, the eyes that had been haunting me all fucking night, staring at me.

“That’s cool, that’s cool,” I said, trying to brush it off and regain some sense of composure.  “I just didn’t hear you.”

“I couldn’t sleep,” she said.

“Me, either.  Here have a seat,” I said, sitting back down on the porch steps.

She sat down slowly, her gaze turning to the owls.

“They’re back,” she said.

“Yeah, I guess they don’t have anything better to do than hang out with a bunch of derelicts.”

“Maybe they like you,” she said.

I scoffed.

“Maybe.  And maybe they’re crazy.”

“I like you.”  She said it so quietly, I almost didn’t hear her.  My heart skipped a beat, and I remembered what I had just been thinking about.

“I like you, too, Lacey,” I looked in her gorgeous eyes, trying not to lose my mind.  “Listen, I owe you a huge apology.”

“For what?” she asked. 

“For kissing you earlier…I shouldn’t have done that.  I know the last thing you need is some asshole all over you like that.  It won’t happen again, I promise.”  That last sentence seemed to stab me right in the gut as the words formed on my lips.

She didn’t reply for a while, her eyes full of confusion and sadness.  As if I couldn’t feel even worse. 

“But,” she finally said, “I kissed you.  I’ve never done that before.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve never kissed anyone before.  Not you know…willingly…like that.  And that’s what I was thinking at the time.  Your hand felt so nice in mine.  And I’d never done that before, either,” she shifted her eyes down shyly. “There’s a lot I haven’t done. I never had a boyfriend, or a normal life.  I’ve never gone on a real date, let alone kissed someone that I wanted to. I missed so much, Riot.  And so that’s why I kissed you.  I wanted to know what it felt like.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” she said, looking at me again, a smile spreading across her face.

“So?  What did you think?”  I asked, suddenly becoming aware of the warmth of her body pressed against mine.  The steps were narrow and we were squeezed between the railings.

“I liked it,” she said. “A lot.”

Her eyes stayed locked with mine.  I nodded silently, and watched as she licked her luscious pink lips, her eyes darting down to my lips and then back up at my eyes.  The universal ‘kiss me’ sign.

Fuck it, I thought, throwing all caution to the wind and reaching down to lift her chin and kiss her again, gently this time, without all the unruly passion of earlier, I brushed my lips against hers, cradling her face in my hands as her mouth opened to mine welcomingly.

She softened under my touch, her lips yielding, kissing me back just as softly, slowly, and gently.   Time stopped around us, the owls flew away, and the trees gently swayed overhead, the moon shining her bright light down on us.  I pulled her into my arms, kissing her deeper but still gently, until she was whimpering in my arms.

My cock throbbed between us, but I knew, without a doubt, this was no time to go there.  I willed myself to ignore it.  I had to go slow, even if I probably shouldn’t be ‘going’ at all.

But fuck, if kissing her wasn’t the most enjoyable thing I had done in years.  I was determined not to let my brain, or my impatient cock, get ahead of me.  

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Lacey

I woke up to the sound of a woodpecker knocking on a tree outside my window.  The misty morning sunlight streamed in the windows and I stretched my arms over my head.  A smile was already spread across my face, and I could still feel Riot’s kisses on my swollen lips.

We had kissed for hours on the steps last night.  It had been absolutely magical.  I had never felt anything like that before, and I had gotten lost in the tenderness of his touch.

How could such a gruff bear of a man be so gentle?  It was an attractive contrast, I had to admit.  He was so tall, so broad, his beard and tattoos and the sheer size of him, just screamed masculinity and intimidation.  And yet, he was nothing like that.  He was kind, gentle, and sexy as hell.  And, apparently, as indicated by the way he kissed me by the creek, he was suppressing a fiery passion that he had somehow managed to control while we were on the porch.

Part of me was wishing he would unleash that fury on me again, and take me to his room, but he hadn’t.  He had been nothing but tender and sweet.  That was just fine, though.

We had plenty of time.  And if I had any say in it, I would find a way to pull that out of him again.  It had felt amazing, knowing someone wanted me like that.  And I wanted a lot more of it.

I showered, dressed and went out into the kitchen.  I was starved, and so thankful when the smell of bacon assaulted my senses.  

Riot, Doc and Ryder were sitting at the kitchen table while Cherry loaded plates with eggs, bacon and biscuits.

“Good morning!” I said to everyone and no one in particular, all at the same time.  Riot caught my eye, nodded and winked at me, and I felt a twinge of excitement shoot through me.

“Hi, there, Lacey darlin’! I hope you’re hungry, there’s enough bacon here to feed an army!” Cherry said.

“I’m starved! Thank you!” I replied gratefully.

“How’d you sleep?” Riot asked, a twinkle of mischievousness in his eye, as if we had a shared secret.

“Well, it took me a little while to actually get to sleep, but once I did, I slept like a baby.”  I smiled warmly at him.  I saw Slade and Doc look at each other suspiciously, but Riot ignored them, so I did, too.

Cherry poured me a cup of coffee, and I sat at the table with the Gods.  As soon as she put the food on the table, they dug in like ravenous bears.  I tried not to laugh, but it was so good to see them eat like real men.  I had never been around men like this, and it was such a refreshing change from Monty and his friends, with their feminine, smooth, businessmen hands and their bird-like diets.

I ate with a newly found gusto myself.  Now that Monty wasn’t monitoring every morsel of food that went in my mouth, I had found I liked the feeling of being stuffed so full of food that my belly protruded a little.  It felt good not to have to think about pleasing Monty.