Raw: The Ultimate Mc Collection (146 page)

I grabbed her hand in mine, gasping for breath at the same time. 

“Jett…” I murmured, half-warning, half-pleading.  What did I want?  I wasn’t here to fall in love with Jett.  I wasn’t here to save her soul; I was just here to protect her body. That perfect, deliciously curvy body that was driving me insane with desire.  Protection.  Nothing else.  I had to stop thinking about kissing her.  I had to stop imagining how soft she would feel if I ran my hands along those curves.  I had to stop hoping that I wouldn’t leave this Earth without knowing what she tasted like.  I had no place wondering how warm and inviting she would feel once I finally sank my cock deep into her sweet pussy.

“Jett…” her name escaped my lips once more, as if my soul was trying to push her away.  Or pull her in closer.  

When our lips touched, it was as if some inevitable thread was pulled, as if destiny finally arrived, in full-force, saying,  ‘This! This is what you’ve been waiting for!’  All the kisses that came before, all the women that I fucked, all the drugs, the long nights behind bars, the drinking, the humiliation and pain, and all the lessons I had learned…had all led up to this one moment with Jett.

Our lips.  Together.  Finally.

The fiery heat of fate rose between us, my hands sinking into the darkness of her hair, her arms snaking around me, pulling me in tighter, closer, my tongue parting her lips.  I tasted the whiskey there, and I wanted more.  I kissed her harder, my tongue searching hers, roughly possessing her mouth as my cock throbbed painfully between us.  

She moaned into my mouth, melting into my arms in a way that was new and familiar all at the same time.  As if she was finally home.  As if we were home!

It was all meant to be, and I knew it.

And it scared the fuck out of me.

I pushed her away, remembering why I was struggling with all of this in the first place.  I was here to protect her, not fuck her.  

“Jett…fuck, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”  Jesus, I needed to come to my senses.  One look at her face, and I wished desperately I had done it five minutes sooner.  “I mean, we need to keep this professional.”

She turned away from me, hiding all the pain behind a mask of anger. 

“Fuck you, Mr. Professional,” she said, grabbing the bottle of whiskey from the table and heading into the bathroom.  The door slammed shut with a loud bang, as I buried my face in my hands.

****

I waited outside her dressing room door.  I needed space, and I figured she probably did too. When she finally opened it half an hour later, she still had the whiskey bottle in her hand, only now it was more than half-empty.

I was expecting her anger. I was expecting to feel like a total asshole once I saw the pain I had caused her in her pretty green eyes.  What I wasn’t expecting was indifference.

“You ready?” I asked.

“Yep, all good,” she said, strolling past me like nothing had happened between us.  As if my cock wasn’t still rock hard and about to erupt in my jeans.  As if our past and present hadn’t finally crashed into each other.  As if my heart hadn’t just stopped and taken a sharp turn into chaos.  

I followed her, my eyes glued to her amazing ass.  I longed to touch her again, to kiss her, to get close enough to smell her, to even find a way to explain and apologize, but she walked so quickly and far ahead of me, I had to trot to keep up.  When we reached the limo, she sat across from me, as far away as she could get.

Great. It was going to be like this.  As soon as we were traveling down the road, I spoke up.

“Jett, listen, I didn’t mean —,” I started.

“Stop, Colt.  I get it.  No explanations necessary,” she interrupted.  “You’re right, we should keep this all business.  I forget sometimes because we grew up together.  I got a little too familiar,” her breath was thick with booze and her words pierced my heart.  “No big deal, let’s just forget about it, okay?”

“Yeah, sure, whatever,” I replied.  “I’m still your friend, Jett.”

“Yeah, of course, of course,” she said, waving her hand, dismissing me, as she looked out the window.  The twinkling, crowded lights of San Francisco flew by as we made our way back to the hotel.

Fine, I thought.  It was probably better this way.

When we got back to the hotel, Jesse was waiting outside for us.  I was happy to see him.  I knew I would sleep better tonight.

“Hey brother…hi, Jett,” he said, nodding to us as we got out of the limo.  I had grown to hate that limo.  I missed my bike, the vibrations, the feeling of being alive when you rode down the street.  Being in the limo almost felt like being in an elevator.  I needed the rush of the open road.  The freedom.  

“Hi, Jesse,” she said, strolling into the hotel with the two of us flanking her.  The sun was setting now, and I looked past the usual crowd waiting for Jett at the hotel up to the gorgeous pink sky, or at least what I could see of it between the skyscrapers all around us. I longed for the open road, I wanted to just throw Jett on the back of my bike and head out to the middle of nowhere, where nobody recognized her, or asked anything of her, somewhere I could get her all alone and see her relax, see some semblance of peace wash over her eyes again.  Where protecting her from some crazed lunatic wasn’t what I needed to be concentrating on.  I’d rather concentrate on much more pleasant tasks. Like satisfying my curiosity of just how soft her skin really was.

With one last look over my shoulder, I turned and entered the hotel.  I scanned the lobby, memorizing each face.  Dozens of people were scattered around, and not one of them looked crazy.  Most crazy people didn’t show it outwardly, I knew that.  It would have made it so easy if Crazy Jack would just jump in our path and announce himself, but I had feeling it wasn’t going to play out that easily.  Which is exactly why I was thankful for Jesse’s presence.  He didn’t talk much, but he was always on task.

“Colt, I’ll be outside the door here all night.  You holler if you need anything.”

I got him a chair, a six pack of beer from the penthouse bar, and a bag of chips from the kitchen, before thanking him and closing the door behind me.

Room service had already been delivered, thanks to Sam, and I smiled as I watched Jett pile heaps of chicken, mashed potatoes and roasted vegetables onto her plate.  

“Dig in, Colt, I can’t eat this all myself,” she said.  It was good to see her eat, to see her hungry, and doing something completely normal.  

“Don’t mind if I do,” I said, doing just that.

“Let’s eat on the balcony.  We can watch the sunset,” she said.  She poured herself a glass of wine from the bar, and we carried our plates outside.  Soft shades of pink melted into deep purple streaks in the sky, the San Francisco skyline jetting up from the earth like the sparkling jagged edge of a knife.

We were up so high up we couldn’t hear the traffic below, and despite the towering buildings surrounding us, it was peaceful.  Jett looked relaxed, even if it was the effects of the booze.  I knew she was freaked out by the snake, fuck, I was too, but she had compensated by drinking more than I had seen her drink on any of the previous nights.  So it was good to see her shovel food in her mouth, and it made me laugh.  

“What are you laughing at?” she asked between bites.

“It’s good to see you eat,” I replied.

“Eat? I eat all the time,” she said. “I’m starving.”

“You don’t know what starving is,” I said, my usual response to anyone that said that.  Ciara’s face flashed in my head, as I remembered so many nights of us both going to bed wishing for anything at all to eat.

“I’m sorry,” I said to Jett. “That was rude.”

“No, no, it wasn’t.  You’re right.  I understand.  I know you and Ciara had it rough.  I didn’t know how rough at the time, but I do now.”

“Yeah…” I said, as I took a bite.  I had a whole different appreciation for food than most people.  I savored each bite, the spices, the texture, it was blissful for me.  “This is amazing.”

“I’m sorry you had it so rough, Colt.  I didn’t know what to do about it at the time, and then you were gone, and then Ciara was gone.  I wish we had been older.  Or, I wish none of that shit ever happened.  I can’t believe they sent you away for so long, instead of seeing why you had done what you’d done,” she said, her eyes softening with kindness.  It was hard to look at.

“You have nothing to apologize for, Jett.  You didn’t know.  There’s no way you could have known.  I kept it a secret for a reason.  I didn’t want them to split us up, no matter how bad it was at home.  I just made a stupid mistake. A big one.”

“Was it awful?  It had to be,” she said.

“Yeah, it was pretty fucking awful.  And it took me a long time to learn first, that I needed to settle down, and second, exactly how to go about doing that.  I had a lot of anger, a lot of rage, and I blamed everyone else around me for all the shit I was going through.”

“It was your parents’ fault,” she said softly.

“Yeah, but it was my fault too. I could have gone to a fucking food bank or something, but instead I chose a different path that day.  I learned a lot, though.  I’m an entirely different person, a better person now.  Don’t get me wrong, if I could go back and change things I sure as fuck would.  But everything turned out alright.  Ciara’s happy; she’s got her family.  I’m alright.  Sorry about ripping your best friends out of your life like that.”

She smiled at me, pausing a moment before she spoke.

“You’re more than alright, Colt,” she said.

“Thanks, Jett,” I said. “I feel the same way about you.”

“Thank you,” she said, biting her bottom lip and looking down shyly.  

“Jett. I’m truly sorry about earlier, it’s not…” I paused. How far should I go? What should I say? Where should I draw the line? Fuck it, I thought. Why should I hold back? “It’s not that I don’t want to kiss you.”

She raised her eyes, her gaze intense and questioning.

“I…I’ve thought about doing a hell of a lot more than kissing you,” I continued. “In fact, the only thing holding me back is the fact that I need to stay focused. Your safety is the most important thing to me, and I gotta be vigilant.  So don’t you go feeling rejected, or some other crazy shit, because if we were in any other situation, you’d already be naked.”

Her laughed echoed up to the pink sky above us.  I winked at her, laughing with her.

“That’s very presumptuous of you, Colt. Just because we kissed, you think I want to sleep with you?” she asked, teasingly.

“That’s not what I said,” I replied. “But are you saying you wouldn’t?  I mean, we all know how selective you are regarding who you sleep with.”

She feigned outrage, hitting me playfully in the arm.

“I don’t even want to know how often you pick up women,” she said.  It was nice to have the mood lightened. I wanted to just have a night of relaxing with her.  I didn’t want to have to think about the past or worry what our future held, or even worry about Crazy Jack trying to barrel through the door at any moment.  

Bringing Jesse out was a good idea.  Now, Jett and I could relax and get to know each other again.  Without cameras or an audience or other people around.

Just us.

After dinner, I lit a fire in the massive fireplace, and we sat on the rug in front of it, sharing the things we remembered about all the years we spent together, and filling each other in about the ones we missed.

“Do you remember Field Day?” she asked, her eyes full of amusement.

“How could I forget? I don’t think I’ve ever been more embarrassed in my life.”

“You were my first kiss, Colt,” she said.

“I don’t think that really counts as a kiss, Jett,” I replied, my eyes lingering on her lips, remembering the very real kiss we had shared earlier.

The fire sparkled in her eyes, and watching her smile and laugh, for once completely at ease, was absolutely mesmerizing.  She was so much more beautiful than she was when she was a kid.  I had spent so many nights stealing glances at her under the moonlight, I had memorized her face.  But not this face.  Her face now was new.  She was new.  She would never be the Jett I used to know, and that was at once uncomfortable and incredibly exciting.

She spent hours telling me about the places she had traveled to, but never got to really see much of.

“There were occasional photo ops in tourist spots, but for the most part we just traveled into a city, went to the hotel, and then the venue, and then we were on to the next, until they turned into an endless cycle of nameless places.  Half the time I don’t even know what city I’m in.”