Raw Deal (Beauty for Ashes: Book One) (48 page)

Carl rose to his feet, “You only had one class today, and it finished at twelve. Where have you been since then?”

“I had two classes, and then I went to some guy’s place to copy his notes.”

“What guy?”

“Sam Foster. He says he knows you.”

Carl frowned. “So you’ve been at his place all day?”

I dragged myself from my thoughts and realized where Carl was going with this. “Carl, stop being so paranoid.” I set my purse and my class notes down on the table. “You don’t have to worry about me cheating on you. I’ve told you those days are over. Try to trust me.”

“Lexi, I will never trust you as long as I live. You better just tell me what you’ve been up to with Sam, because I will definitely find out. Then you’ll be sorry you lied.”

I sank into the sofa chair and put my feet up on the coffee table. “Can we just sort this out once and for all? We’re supposed to be married, but what we have is far from a marriage. We never talk except to argue. I told you to wait for me this morning, but you left, and you always do things like that. You cheat on me; don’t think I don’t know. And you’re always suspicious of me.” I threw my hands up in exasperation. “Tell me what you want to do. Instead of living like this, we can just get a divorce, and we’ll both be happier.”

Carl’s lip curled in a sneer. “You want a divorce?”

“Well, I don’t know how much more I can take!”

Carl looked at me meanly. “Well, you should have thought of the consequences when you were creeping behind my back with Dan. I don’t want no divorce. We’re in this together ‘till death do us part’. I’m sticking to my vows.”

“The vows said about faithfulness too.”

Carl’s lips formed a thin hard line, and I grabbed my class notes and fled the apartment, knowing that if I stayed there would be trouble.

I’d forgotten to take my car keys, so I could only stay on campus. I made my way to the library, fighting back tears. How long would this continue between me and Carl. What was I going to do? Did God have the answers?

I sat at a computer, and for a while, I just stared at it with unseeing eyes, lost in thought. Heaviness like a thick cloud seemed to settle over me, and I felt weighed down.

Eventually, I decided to check my messages. Professor Jackson had sent me an email saying that I could come to his office at any time if I needed help. I was surprised. Maybe he was feeling guilty for the way he’d treated me that morning. It was only six-thirty, so I decided to go see if he would still be there.

I made my way to the social sciences building and rode the elevator to the third floor. I walked down the corridor until I came to Professor Jackson’s office. I knocked on the door.

It swung open, and I looked up into Professor Jackson’s formidably handsome face. To my surprise, he smiled. “Hello Lexi.”

“Hi, I got your email,” I said, walking into his office. “Yes, I definitely need help.”

You’ll have to copy someone’s notes for the classes you missed because I gave out handouts that I didn’t post on the system,” he said shutting the door.

“Done that. I’ve copied the notes, and I’ve got them all here.”

Professor Jackson crossed the room and sat at his desk. He beckoned for me to take the seat opposite him. I sat down and put the notes on the desk between us.

“Good. So, which areas do you need help with?” he asked with a smile that brightened his darkly handsome features.

I thought Professor Jackson was much more pleasant outside of class. He looked relaxed, his dark hair slightly ruffled and his dark eyes soft and approachable. “I guess I need to go through the notes first, but I just don’t know how I’m going to know it all for the exams.”

“Want me to narrow it down for you?” Professor Jackson asked.

“Sure, but are you allowed to do that?”

“It’ll be our little secret.” He winked. “I’ll just tell you the subject areas to focus on.”

I grinned. “Really?” I watched as he wrote on a piece of paper, and then folded it up. I took it when he held it out to me. “Thanks.”

“So what’s wrong?”

“What do you mean?”

“You look pretty stressed out.”

“It’s just because of all the studying I need to do.” I got up to leave before he could probe any further, and he followed me to the door. “Thanks for helping me out anyway,” I said not looking at him. I reached for the door handle, but he got there before me.

“Lexi, whatever it is, sort it out. You need a clear head when facing exams, or you won’t be able to study.”

“Okay.”

“Go home. It’s getting late.”

Home was the last place I wanted to be. “I’m going to the 24-hour library.”

“Okay, I’ll walk you over.” He grabbed his suit jacket and a bunch of keys and then switched off the lights.

***

I attended all my classes for the rest of the week, and I felt better just for going out each day and interacting with people rather than just staying at home moping. Carl was still crazy, but I managed to stay out of his way.

Jen, Emily’s roommate, invited me out Friday night, so I hit the bars of downtown LA with her and a bunch of her friends. I was drinking Rosé and chatting to Jen in Bar Rouge when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned to see Professor Jackson.

“Well, if it isn’t the evil Professor!” I said, loose lipped from too much alcohol. He was wearing a dark shirt and jeans. I exchanged a look with Jen. He looked hot!

Professor Jackson’s lips tilted in a slight smile. “Call me Mark.” He looked at Jen. “Hey.”

Jen giggled. “Hey, Professor Jackson. Fancy seeing you here. I didn’t know you rock with the in-crowd.”

“Well, I try. Please call me Mark.”

“Okay, Mark,” Jen said. We both giggled.

“Actually, Jen, I came over to ask you a favor,” Mark said.

Jen looked up at him. “So long as it ain’t sexual.”

I roared with laughter, and she pursed her lips, one hand on her hip.

Mark grinned. “No, I just wanted to see if you’d release Lexi. I want to dance with her.”

I raised an eyebrow, and Jen looked at me. “Do you want to dance with him?”

“I dunno.”

“I think you should. Get him to tell you the exam questions, then you come tell me.”

I set my drink down and stood up. “I’ll try my best.”

Mark took my hand and led me to the dance floor. “Been studying the areas I told you to?” he asked.

I rolled my eyes. “Hey, it’s Friday night, and we are partying. Don’t tell me you want to talk about work.”

Mark’s dark eyes glinted in the dim lighting. “Okay, what do you want to talk about?”

“Anything but college, work, and marriage.”

Jen came over to tell me that the girls were moving on to another bar. I looked at Mark, and he stepped back. “Don’t worry. You go with your girls.”

“I kinda want to stay,” I said.

Jen looked surprised. “Ooh, you bad girl.”

“What? He’s hot.”

“And he’s our Professor.”

“So?”

“Make sure you get those exam questions,” Jen tossed over her shoulder as she walked away.

Mark pulled me into his arms. “Did you just say I was hot?”

“No way,” I lied, although I knew he’d heard.

We danced and drank until I couldn’t stand anymore. I didn’t know if it was the drink or my heels.

Mark ushered me to a seat when I told him I felt like I was going to collapse. “Guess what time it is,” he said.

“Midnight?”

“No, three a.m.”

“Are you kidding? I had no idea.”

“How are you getting home?”

I eased my feet out of my shoes a little. I didn’t want to go home. “How are you getting home?”

“Taxi. Do you want to share with me?”

“Nah.” I felt in my purse to check if I had my wallet. I was booking myself into a hotel for the night. Maybe even for the next few days. I wasn’t going home to Carl until he learned to treat me better.

“Don’t tell me you’re staying out. You don’t even know where your friends are. They must have gone home by now.”

“I’m booking a hotel room,” I slurred, my tongue thick and heavy.

Mark looked amused. “Why?”

“Because I want to.”

“Okay.”

We left the bar, and Mark took out his cell phone. “I’m calling my cab. I think you should start calling around the hotels.” He punched a few buttons and ordered a taxi.

The night air was slightly chilly, and I rubbed my arms. “I’ll wait with you,” I said when he got off the phone.

“Are you cold?”

“Yes.”

He removed his shirt and draped it over my shoulders.

“What are you doing?”

“Giving you my shirt.”

I looked at his bare chest. “Aren’t you cold?”

“I’m okay.”

“Well, nice view.”

Mark shook his head. “I feel like you’ve been hitting on me all night, Lexi.”

“In your dreams.”

A taxi pulled up, and Mark stepped forward. “Are you sharing a cab with me or not?”

“Oh, all right then,” I conceded. He opened the door, and I slid in.

“What address?” the taxi driver asked.

Mark looked at me.

“What? I said I’m not going home. You give him your address, and I’ll get him to take me to a hotel after we drop you off.”

“Why are you so stubborn?”

“Why are
you
so stubborn?” I replied.

Mark gave an address and pulled me over to sit closer. I gave him back his shirt, which he put on but didn’t button. Before I knew it, I fell asleep on his shoulder.

He woke me up when we got to his place and half carried, half dragged me up to the building. My feet were in agony; I just couldn’t walk on them. He ushered me into the building and into an elevator. When it opened he removed his keys and unlocked his door.

“Where are we?” I asked.

“This is my condo. You can stay here for tonight if you want.”

“Will you be staying here too?” I asked.

Professor Jackson quirked an eyebrow. “Only if you want me to. I could go home. It’s up to you.”

“That sounds like a proposition.”

“Does it?” Professor Jackson narrowed his eyes and gave me a slow smile.

I raked a hand through my hair, wondering what on earth I was doing in his condo. I couldn’t even blame him. I’d been acting loose all night, no wonder he was getting ideas.

I took out my cell phone and texted Carl, saying I was spending the weekend with my mom. Then I texted my mom saying she should pretend I was with her if Carl called. Then I switched my cell phone off.

Professor Jackson was hot. Yes, I was married, but marriage was just a piece of paper. Carl and I had no marriage in the real sense of things. And he was cheating on me, so what was the big deal? Two could play that game.

***

When I woke up, Professor Jackson was gone. He’d left me a note saying he’d gone to college for a meeting and that a prepaid car would pick me up from the condo at twelve.

I placed the note back on the bedside table and changed into the clothes I’d been wearing the day before. Luckily, I had my miracle foundation with me. I carried it everywhere I went in my purse.

I wasn’t waiting for a prepaid car. I needed to leave immediately. I booked myself into a hotel and went straight to bed. I tried to blank out what I had done. Carl would murder me if he found out, but apart from that, I felt really guilty. No matter how much I tried to tell myself it was okay, I just couldn’t shift the overwhelming sense that I’d done something terrible.

I tried to sleep, but I couldn’t. Maybe it was the fact that it was my college professor that made me feel bad. Or maybe it was the fact that he was married. I’d forgotten about that in my drunken state, but now I distinctly remembered seeing a ring on his finger on Monday.

Tears welled up in my eyes, and I felt like screaming. Why did I care? What I had done was no big deal. People did it all the time. Carl certainly did. I wasn’t going to let myself cry.

All of a sudden, I had this urge to speak to Shawna. It was a good thing I didn’t have her number because I’d probably end up telling her how I felt and she’d say I was at that low point where God was now able to reach out to me.

***

I went home on Monday afternoon. Carl arrived home at around six and quizzed me about where I’d been. He didn’t for one moment believe that I’d been at my mom’s place, and I found that I couldn’t be bothered arguing with him. I was just tired of him and of life.

For the rest of the week we barely spoke to each other. I didn’t go to college anymore. I just stayed home and studied.

On Friday night when Carl left the apartment, I decided to go out too. I didn’t feel like seeing Dr. Paula. Talking about my problems wasn’t helping. It made me feel better sometimes, but at the end of the day, the problems were still there. No amount of talking was going to resolve them.