“You can and you will do it,” He said.
“If I get arrested, then what?”
“Then you don’t talk.” He told me. “It’s simple. You take the rap and we’ll make sure shit good for you when you come home. You don’t have a record so I doubt they’d give you too much time anyway.”
“Well I don’t want
no
time.”
“Harmony, when your father was alive he took care of everybody. But he’s gone now and we have to take care of ourselves. Now he’s gonna give you twenty five hundred dollars every time you go and come back. That’s a lot of money.”
“And how much you getting?”
“I’m talkin’ about you,” Angela said, “and the fact that you not gonna have a place to live unless you do this. Everybody here has to pitch in and that means you, too. Don’t think just because you’re pregnant I’ll let you pass.”
“I don’t wanna do this.” I said to myself, knowing no one else cared.
“Harmony, ain’t but one pussy can be in charge at a time and it damn sure ain’t yours.”
I had heard that saying before from my mother, and I wondered who stole it from who. In the end it served its purpose because it reminded me that I didn’t have a choice. Bitches were scandalous especially when you had to live with them. I had no money, no place to go and if I moved back to DC, I would have to take the risk of somebody trying to kill me. Not to mention I was over eight months pregnant. My life was in her hands.
“When do I start?”
“Tomorrow.”
Braxton had his brother Monkey drive me to the airport in his black Benz. Monkey was more attentive then his brother and I felt a little more relaxed around him. But I was still being made to do something I didn’t want to do so I felt on guard.
“What happened to your face?” He asked me driving down the highway leading to the airport. Monkey was extra black and tall. Although he was a little darker than my taste, he was still very attractive.
“Your brother hit me,” I paused looking over at him while the baby in my belly kicked wildly. I needed something to drink just thinking about it. Alcohol made me forget it all. “He ain’t tell you?”
“Naw. He be off some dumb shit most of the time. Just do what he asks you and it’ll be fine.”
“Can you tell me who I’m meeting?”
“I can’t tell you shit but to be careful and be where you’re supposed to be. The person will come looking for you.” He paused. “When you get there you have the number you got to call right?” I nodded yes but was worried. “What’s wrong? You gonna be on the plane and off before you know it.”
“If it’s so easy, why they have to come for me? Why couldn’t they get somebody else to do it?”
“You pregnant so people won’t suspect you as much.”
“What about the other people who did it?”
He was silent and I already knew what happened. “How much time they get when they got caught?”
“Don’t worry about all that. Just do what you got to do and play it safe. They went in there acting young and dumb and made a move that not only brought attention to themselves, but made them hot.”
“What they do?”
“I ain’t supposed to be tellin’ you this but for some reason, I fuck with you.”
I smiled. “I’m listening.”
“We had two sisters doing it for us at first. One of them was afraid of airplanes and had to have a drink right before she boarded
every
time. On the day they had our last package, they went overboard and got hemmed up. The girl was actually talking about the weight she was carrying and how most police officers were stupid. They were being extra loud and dumb. Anyway, an off duty officer had them checked and found our product on their bodies and bags. They got late and we cut them off.”
“How do I know an officer won’t check my bag?”
“Because we playing it smarter by putting you by yourself. Just keep your mouth closed, meet the dude you have to in DC and come back home.”
I never did anything like this before and I didn’t know how I should act but it was all or nothing now. I was thinking about what I was facing when my baby started kicking again. I didn’t have love for the baby growing inside of me like everyone thought I should. I felt burdened and couldn’t wait for the day I could pop it out of me, and go on with my life.
“Ow!” I said when the kick got wilder.
“The baby kickin’ your ass?” He asked me.
I laughed and said, “Yeah. All the time.”
Silence.
“You still with the baby father?”
“Naw. We not together no more.”
“You sounded sad when you said that…You still love him or something?”
“No…It’s over for real.”
“So you gonna raise this baby by yourself?”
“Yeah.”
He smiled and said, “You too pretty to be raising a kid by yourself.”
“So If I was ugly it would be fine?”
“Yeah.” He laughed. “And I wouldn’t give a fuck.” I laughed harder. Spending time with him, in the car on the way to the airport was the best fun I had since moving to Texas. “Let’s do this…If you don’t get locked up, I’ma take you out when you get back.”
“If I don’t get locked up?” I said scared.
“I’m just fucking with you.”
I calmed down and said, “Why you wanna take me out? I’m pregnant and don’t have anything going for myself.”
“Because I’m trying to get to know you. That’s why. Give yourself some credit, Harmony. You got more to offer than you realize.”
“You don’t even know me yet.”
“God favors the rejected sinners.” He said looking into my eyes before looking back at the road. “How else can you give a testimony, unless you been through a hard life?”
I’d never heard anyone talk like him and knew I had to be around him, just to get uplifted. “You seem real smart.”
He laughed and said, “Look, I’m no smarter than the average nigga. I just know something special when I see it. And I also know you hate being around Angela and her bad ass kids. You need a break. So what’s up?”
“You gonna pick me up from the airport?”
“I’ma be there.”
“Then I guess we have a date.”
Two Weeks Later
Monkey didn’t have money like his brother Braxton, but he had his own house in the hood with a room for the baby when it was born. He took care of me, and made sure I ate and didn’t mind me having the occasional beer if I wanted to, just as long as I didn’t do it too much. There was a time when I wanted clothes, cars, and money. And to be honest I still did want those things, but staying with Angela made me realize that for now, I needed the basics so I could have this fuckin’ baby in peace. Without worrying about somebody stealing the food out of my mouth.
Although I wasn’t feeling transporting drugs from DC to Texas at first, eventually it was second nature. I did it so effortlessly that they started sending me back more often. The only problem was every time I went to DC, I met up with the same person. This dude name Domingo, who kept trying to holla at me. Just t like Monkey, he didn’t care that I was pregnant. I didn’t know so many dudes were attracted to pregnant females. Domingo would do shit like hold me up on giving me the package, if I didn’t eat with him and shit like that. Eventually I told Monkey and he stopped bothering me all together. He told me I would regret telling Monkey though…And I never knew what that meant.
The only other issue I had with transporting was during a close call when a few cops were determined to help me grab my luggage off the belt. I argued them down at first but it turns out that they didn’t want me lifting the bag because of my pregnancy. They had no idea that they helped me lift 7 kilos of coke in my suitcase. They even walked it to my car and Monkey was horrified when he saw their faces. I had to warn him silently with my eyes to take it easy. He didn’t breathe fully until we pulled off without handcuffs being on our wrists.
A half an hour later, he was still looking in the rearview mirror hoping the cops wouldn’t run down on us and lock us up. Even as nervous as he was all the time, with Monkey in my life shit was finally looking up for me.
I was cooking Monkey his favorite dinner when he called and told me he would be running late. He sounded worried and that kinda put me on edge. I always felt that any day now, something would happen and Monkey would leave me alone but so far he never did.
“What’s wrong, baby?” I asked him.
“I can’t tell you over the phone. I’ll see you in a little while.”
“Is it something I did?”
“Babes, there’s nothing you can do to make me mad at you. It some other shit I’ll rap to you about later.”
I was a little upset because I was looking forward to spending some quality time alone with him. If he was upset, that would ruin the moment. We both knew the baby would be here any day now and that the freedom we had would be over. Even though I was pregnant, our sexual relationship was still good. Me and Monkey fucked every day since I moved in and it was the one thing I looked forward too. He didn’t let my pregnancy stop him from pleasing me and I was starting to fall for him, even though I never fully got over Jace.
When he finally came home he looked like something was heavy on his mind. He normally came home happy but tonight was different.
“What’s wrong?” I asked sitting his plate in front of him. “Everything cool with Braxton?”
“No.” He said looking at me seriously. “He got locked up, Harmony. Now I gotta get in bed with them dudes from DC and I ain’t feeling that shit.”
“What…I mean…I thought you were in charge of the blocks and collecting the money. Why that got to change now that Braxton locked up?”
“Who else gonna run shit if Braxton gone? We don’t trust nobody else like that.” He told me. “Our main circle is small. It’s just me, Braxton you and Angela. I’m next in charge so it has to be me. I already made the call to our connect.” He paused. “Shit is going to be a little different, Harmony. I can’t spend the time with you like I have been.”
“But…For the first time in a long time, I’m happy.”
“And we still will be happy,” He told me pulling me to him. Then he rested his head on my belly. “But I want my little boy to come into this world not having to worry about shit.”
I told him it was a boy and that I’d gone to the doctor. Truthfully I never went to the doctors. I just told him that so he could get off of my back about making sure that the baby was healthy.
“So…What does it mean to be in charge?”
“Well, for starters I got to meet up with our connect regularly. You might have to take trips back to DC more often too after the baby is born.”
“You know I’ma do whatever I can for you.” I told him.
“I know.”
“Is that it?” I asked. “It seems like something else is wrong with you.”
“Naw. Well…I think somebody was following me. At least I thought somebody was following me.”
“When?”
“Tonight.”
“Monkey, you always think somebody following you. You gotta relax, baby.”
“It’s easier said than done.”
“How did Braxton get caught?” I said skipping the subject.
“I don’t know. He was on his way to drop off a package because Angela got sick, when the cops picked him up. The only people who know about the drop was Angela, me and the connect.”
“Why the connect?” I asked. It seemed suspicious that the connect would still be involved after a package was delivered.
“He asked us to make a special delivery for him. And gave us a few more packs to do it, too.”
“You don’t think Angela was involved do you?”
“I’m not sure.” He paused not even touching his food. He loved my cooking. “Look, I gotta go wash up. I’ma eat that when I get out the shower, babes. I’m hungry as shit, too.”
“Okay.” I picked up his plate and put it back in the pot to warm it up again.
I hated that Monkey had to go through any of this shit alone. He was so good to me and sometimes I felt I didn’t deserve him. He made sure I was safe and even went at his brother Braxton on several occasions when he disrespected me. Although I trusted him, I’d been burned so many times that I started stashing money just in case. It was my little nest egg so that when I had this baby, I could get on my feet, buy some new gear and even a car. But first I would have to lose this baby weight. If Monkey still wanted me after it was all said and done, I was gonna try to be monogamous with one dude. Something I’d never done before.
Monkey had washed up and threw on some new jeans, a plain white T-shirt and his chain. Then he sat in the living room and watched the football game. He ate his food but still didn’t look like himself and it bothered me. Normally I didn’t give a fuck about people but with him shit was different.
He was really into the game until we heard a knock at the door. He took a deep breath and walked toward it. For the first time ever, I realized he wasn’t cut out for the drug game. I’d been around men who were ready before and he wasn’t one of them. If I wasn’t in his life, he probably would not have been bothered. He talked about working at the auto body shop working on cars. That’s what he loved. But now, it was all about the drug game, and I preferred it that way.