Raunchy 2 (51 page)

HARMONY
CONCORDMANOR

The basement felt like a tomb. I could hear life go on around me outside, but I didn’t feel a part of it anymore. It had to be about four in the morning and I was surprised the kids weren’t running around in the house or raping me. Most times I’d think about my life and why I wasn’t able to be regular or normal. And when I wasn’t thinking about shit like that I’d think about fucking, drinking and eating. Since my life was not my own, usually I just went to sleep.

I was asleep when Madjesty came down the stairs. Her hair was matted with blood and her eyes looked wild. She looked like she was drained and I became immediately afraid. What would she blame me for now? It seemed that everything bad that happened to her was all my fault, but what about me?

As always she pulled the chair up in front of me and sat down. She snatched the tape off of my mouth which meant she wanted to talk. She only did that when she wanted to talk.

“They…they killed my girl.” Tears rolled down her face although she didn’t make a crying sound. “They killed her right in front of me.” She looked at her bloody hands. Turned them over and over examining them. Then she smelled her finger. One finger.

“I’m sorry, Mad. I really am. Are you okay?”
“I don’t know why stuff keeps happening to me, but I’m not gonna be right after this shit.” She said pointing to the floor. “They should’ve fuckin’ killed me and let me be with her.” She continued. “I’m not gonna be right at all.”
I knew from dealing with her in the past that I had to be careful. Usually anything I said, if I didn’t say it right was flipped around on me. So I was slow about saying anything and I chose my words carefully. It’s amazing, when I wasn’t drunk I could think clearly.
“What I’m gonna do without her? What I’m gonna do without my girl?”
“I don’t know.”
“Mama, please. Tell me what to do. Tell me how to make this right.”
She hadn’t called me mama in weeks. And I couldn’t lie, for some reason it felt good.
“Mad, you gotta be a good person, baby. You gotta stop the violence.” I said softly. “Too much is happening right now and you gotta do right starting with this shit you doing to me. Let me go.
Please
.”
“What you talking about?” She frowned. “This shit with you ain’t got nothing to do with me losing my girl. All you care about is yourself.”
“I care about you too, Madjesty. You’re my daughter.” I said softer.
“Don’t call me that!” She pointed at me. “Don’t call me that ever again.”
“What?”
“Your daughter. I’m not a…I’m not your daughter.”
I didn’t know if she didn’t want me to call her my daughter because of anger, or because she didn’t feel like a girl. I always felt that unlike Jayden, she didn’t take the idea of being a girl too well.
“I’m sorry.” I said. “But I love you.”
“You don’t love me.” She cried. “You don’t love me.”
“I do. Baby, I swear I do.”
She shook her head and tears rolled down her face. “Why did you do me like this? Why did you make me this person?”
“I don’t understand.”
“This person.” She said hitting herself in the head with both fists. “This fucking person! That hates everything and everybody! Huh? Why?”
Silence.
“I’m sorry.” Sorry felt like the right thing to say so I said it again. “I’m sorry, but you gotta let me go. I can help you deal with what’s going on, but not if I’m like this. And not if you kill me.”
She stood up, grabbed a bat and walked toward me. Then she hit me in the head with it as hard as she could.
I can’t remember much after that.
All I know is, I woke up in a different place.

URSULA GIVENS
MY DAUGHTER’S DEADDAY

Ursula led the way in her car on the way to her daughter’s funeral. She almost couldn’t afford Glitter’s going away service and she definitely couldn’t afford to ride in a limo. Madjesty had stolen all of her money and she was dead broke. Because of it, she would have to take her car, which was still painted with the word dyke on it everywhere. She knew people would be pointing and gawking, and questioning her sexuality, which made her hate Madjesty even more.

Not only that, but word had gotten back to her that Madjesty was somehow involved with Glitter’s murder and she wanted blood and revenge. Her son Jerrod and Nook, her weed dealer, rode with her but they knew better than to say a word when she was like this. She seemed to be more entranced with Madjesty then anything else.

“What ya’ll know about this girl?” Ursula asked.
“Not much.” Jerrod said.
“’Cause of her I gotta gotta go to my daughter’s dead day! Fucking

bitch!” She yelled. “I can’t stand dykes. Kissing other girls and shit. What type shit is that?” She paused. “God meant for man and woman to cohabitate. Not man and man. Or woman and woman!”

Nook and Keith remained silent. There was no greater homophobe on planet earth than Ursula Givens. She hated homosexuals so much, that she used every five minutes to talk about them, even if they weren’t the subject. She didn’t realize that people who hated on homosexuality so much, were suspect. Straight people need not speak on others because they’re confident in their own. She didn’t care. She was confused and she held hate in her heart. Madjesty played her and now her daughter was dead. She wanted revenge and that’s all she cared about.

“Well put the word out that I’ma raise some money, for the first person who can prove this bitch killed my baby girl.” She paused. “If that’s not gonna work, any other dirt they can dig up on this bull dagger will do too. And I’ll put five hundred on it if they can bring her to me!”

HARMONY
BLACK HOLE

It was very dark. So dark originally I thought I was still dreaming. When I woke up my head was throbbing and I felt like my right leg was broken. When I tried to move my toes I didn’t think my leg was broken. I knew it was broken.

“Ahhhhhh!” I screamed out in pain. “Hellllllllp! My leg is broken!!! Please!” I couldn’t do anything but cry and beg her to let me out since she didn’t want to let me die. “Okay I was wrong, Madjesty!” I screamed. “I was a horrible mother and I treated you badly! Now please…please let me out of here. You’re going to kill me!”

She didn’t answer but I felt she was listening. I felt her presence. There was not much room to move around and the smell inside this space was putrid. I couldn’t even breathe. Where was I? My question was answered when Mad finally opened the door. I was in the crawl space.

Under the stairs.
In my own house.
“Morning, mama.” Madjesty said. She still looked crazed. Like she

wasn’t the same. This meant trouble for me. She didn’t have a bra on under her shirt and I could see her breasts. She never wore less than two shirts since she started stealing her own clothes. She completely lost it and no longer cared. It was evident. “You were saying something?”

“Madjesty, I think my leg is broken. You gotta let me out.”
“Why I gotta do that?”
“Madjesty, please…you gotta let me out of here. I’m hungry and injured.” I sobbed. “Please let me go.”

“Why?” She smirked. “I would think you’d like it under there, being as though you put me there so many times. Remember when you grabbed me by my hair and threw me inside? Without food or drink?” Then she laughed. “As a matter of fact, you forgot I was even under there. The lady in the wheelchair had to feed me.” Then she paused. “Hey, what happened to the lady in the wheel chair anyway? I was starting to like her.”

“Madjesty, please.” I continued. “I know I was wrong for how I did you. You proved your point but you must let me out of here now. This is too much.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna do you like you did me, mama. I’m gonna do you right.”
She was calling me mama more which meant trouble. She was saying it in a condescending sort of way. Like she really didn’t mean it. She stepped away from the crawl space door but left it open. The front door was about ten or fifteen feet in front of me. If I ran, if I ran quickly, maybe I could save my own life.
When I remembered I couldn’t run because my leg was hurt she returned with a bowl of chowder in one hand and my stomach rumbled. She kept the other hand behind her back and I knew she was hiding something. Also judging by my hunger pains, I figured I must’ve gone two or three days without eating. I was starting to know how different pains felt when I didn’t eat regularly. Basically the way I felt meant it had been two to three days since she hit me over the head with the bat. It was a wonder I was alive. She slid the bowl across to me. I tried to snatch it but she snatched it back.
“I got to put a little salt in it first, mama.”
My mouth was salivating. “I don’t need no salt. Just give it me. Please.”
“Oh yes you do.” She laughed. Then she took whatever she had behind her back and dangled it in front of me. “This was my girl’s. I found it in the trashcan upstairs. She left it there when she used my bathroom.”
“What are you going to do with that?” I frowned.
Without responding, she put the dirty tampon in my food. It was old and smelled foul.
“Here you go, mama.” She laughed. “Now it’s good enough to eat.” She slid the bowl in my direction and I saw the creamy white color turn a little red where the tampon rested.
I cried.
“It’s your fault my girl is not here and you cry?” She said tearing up too. “You deserve everything you’re getting, bitch.”
“Just kill me, Madjesty. I’m sick of this shit.”
“You gonna eat the food or not?” She said reaching for the bowl.
I snatched it from her quickly. I was gonna either eat this or die.
I looked down at the bowl and despite the dried tampon could smell the scent of food. I was hungry. So without a spoon I closed my eyes and sopped up the soup handful after handful. The smile was removed off of her face as I satisfied my hunger.
I smiled.
She frowned.
“Let’s see how much longer you can last after three more days without food.”