Random (21 page)

“Don't be,” Noah says, and slowly begins to smile. “Yeah, definitely do not be sorry.”

Except, I am. Just not about Noah.

We both face out again. Whatever just happened, it's a relief to think about something nice for a change.

“What about Lucas?” Noah asks me a moment later.

I shake my head. “I'm over it.”

“Well, no offense, but thank God.”

“Yeah,” I say.

When another minute goes by without either of us saying anything, Noah abruptly says, “So, I'm gonna go.” He takes a step toward the stairs. “If you want to call me after the thing today . . . I'll be around.”

“Cool. I probably will. But I might also be asleep for like eighteen hours.”

“Right. See ya later, Tori-chan.”

He takes the stairs slowly, heads down the carport, and hangs a left, headed toward his house, hands in his pockets. Unexpectedly, I feel more than hear Andy's words at the gas station vibrating in my head.
You're special. You'll see. Eventually.
And I get it. I wait till Noah's a few yards down the sidewalk.

“Noah.”

He stops, looks back.

“Thanks.”

Noah smiles a bit. “Sure.
Sayonara.
”

He says it with what I believe is perfectly accented Japanese:
Sigh-oh-nada.
I say it back to him, making it as American as I can:
Say-oh-nair-ah.
It makes Noah laugh, and then he's gone.

I go inside. Mom is sitting at the breakfast bar with the newspaper spread out in front of her. A fresh pot of coffee sits on the counter. She must've been up for a while, then, and gone to get a new bag of coffee, and saw Jack's car gone, and
me
gone. . . .

I guess she wasn't asleep all this time after all.

Mom doesn't even bother raising her voice as she says, “Whatever it was, I certainly hope it was worth it.”

“Yeah,” I say. “It was.”

I can tell my voice sounds weird. Different. Because Mom looks up then, frowning.

“Whatever you want to do to me, that's cool,” I say. “I'm sorry I took the car. But, actually, not really. I'd do it again under the circumstances.”

I'm almost surprised to hear myself say it, honestly.

Mom lets the corner of the paper she's been holding flutter to the counter. “What circumstances?” she says. “What have you been up to all night? And why was Jack still up? He won't tell me anything.”

“Maybe later, Mom,” I say. “Sorry.”

She nods, clearly not convinced. “All right,” she says. “You
should get some sleep. We need to be out of here by noon.”

“That's the plan. Mom?”

“Mmm?”

“Do you think I'm guilty?”

Mom sits up straight on the stool. “Tori . . .”

“It's just, you never actually said.”

Mom clears her throat a little. “I . . . ,” she says slowly, “expected better from you.”

Right. I suppose I did too.

“Okay,” I say. “G'night.”

“Good morning, you mean.”

“G'morning.”

Mom gives me a small smile and goes back to her paper. I can hear Dad snoring down the hall.

Sounds good to me.

I go into my room, shut the door, and plug my phone into its charger. Sunlight bleeds through my blinds, casting everything in orange. I pull off my shirt and sit on my bed to yank off my shoes. Holy crap, I've never been so exhausted in my life.

My life.

Still got it. Whatever happens when the trial begins, I'll still have that.

I almost fall asleep sitting up, peeling my socks off. They're drenched in stale sweat.

My bed feels so warm, so ready to let me pass out and forget this night ever happened. Except . . .

I probably shouldn't do it, but if Andy's right about the
password, then what the hell. It'll just be between us.

Leaving my phone plugged in, I dial Andy's—Kevin's—number. Sure enough, neither Andy nor anyone else actually answers. I assume Andy's still got the phone, and that he's probably asleep already himself. Or still driving back to Flagstaff. How many times did he make that drive to be with Kevin? Could he make it out here every week so they could hang out?

“Hey, this is Kevin, leave me a message. Later!”

“Hi, it's . . .”

I stop. I don't want to identify myself. It occurs to me that my number will obviously be on the phone's memory again, but I still don't want to say my name.

“. . . It doesn't matter,” I say. “I just, I wanted to say . . . I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry, Kevin. It's too late now, I know that, and . . . I wish I could go back. So I'm sorry. I really am. No matter what else, I just need you to know that somehow. If that's even possible. I don't know. But I'm sorry.”

I stop again, trying to figure out how on earth to end this call. How to summarize everything that's happened.

I choose the simplest.

“Bye, Kevin.”

This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the author's imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

SIMON PULSE

An imprint of Simon & Schuster Children's Publishing Division

1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020

www.SimonandSchuster.com

First Simon Pulse hardcover edition August 2014

Text copyright © 2014 by Tom Leveen

Jacket designed by Regina Flath

Jacket photograph copyright © 2014 by Yagi Studio/Getty Images

Author photograph by Alecia Brouwer

All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form.

SIMON PULSE and colophon are registered trademarks of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

The Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau can bring authors to your live event. For more information or to book an event contact the Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau at 1-866-248-3049 or visit our website at
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.

Book design by Regina Flath

The text of this book was set in Minion Pro.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Leveen, Tom.

Random / Tom Leveen. — First Simon Pulse hardcover edition.

p. cm.

Summary: The night before going on trial in a sensational felony case that has ruined her life, sixteen-year-old Tori Hershberger receives a random phone call from a stranger contemplating suicide and she begins a race against time to save him.

[1. Suicide—Fiction. 2. Conduct of life—Fiction. 3. Bullying—Fiction.

4. Family life—Fiction. 5. Popularity—Fiction. 6. High schools—Fiction. 7. Schools—Fiction.] I. Title.

PZ7.L57235Ran 2014

[Fic]—dc23

2013021006

ISBN 978-1-4424-9956-0

ISBN 978-1-4424-9958-4 (eBook)