Random (15 page)

I don't mention he made them tonight and no one had any. My smile disappears.

“I gotta back Tor up on that one,” Noah says. “I've had them. They are
really
good.”

“What's he do with it?” Andy asks. “I mean, how are his different from every grandmother's on the planet?”

“I'm not entirely sure, but I think there's some kind of alcohol in it. Wine, maybe. I don't know. I don't
care
. I just want a bucket of it. Ah, God. Thanks, Andy. Now I'm craving it.”

“Sorry.”

I hear him yawn. So he's human after all. I let myself yawn in response. Noah only grins.

“Well,” Andy says, “I want to say thank you for playing with me tonight.”

“Playing?” I say. “So this was a joke, then?”

“No. Not a joke. Maybe I'll even get it right this time.”

Probably because I'm so tired, it takes a couple of seconds for the meaning of his words to sink in. “Wait,
this
time? You mean you've tried to . . . do this before?”

Andy chuckles. “Still can't quite make yourself say ‘suicide,' can you?”

I don't bother commenting on the accuracy of his observation.

“That's okay, I understand,” Andy says. “Yeah. Once.”

“Yeah, you once tried to?”

“Yes, ma'am.”

I can't stop myself from asking, “How?”

“Tylenol. You know, it's amazing how easy it is to find ways to kill yourself. You ever think of that?”

As a matter of actual fact, I had, but wasn't for one second going to admit it to Andy.

“I suppose,” I said. “So what happened?”

“It wasn't pretty. A friend of mine found me and took me to the hospital. They make you eat this charcoal stuff, and the next thing you know, it's coming out of every hole in your body, including a couple you didn't even know you had.”

“That's disgusting.”

“I think that was the idea. They treat you like shit, too. The nurses and doctors and stuff. No coddling. They don't want you coming back.”

“But you
are
willing to go back.” It slips out before I can stop to analyze what it might sound like.

“Hell, no. Why do you think I'm driving over a cliff? Get it done right.”

God. Dammit. “So you are still thinking about it.”

Andy takes a deep breath while Noah frowns down at the phone.

“You know something, Tori? It's been a real hoot and a holler talking to you tonight. It really has. You too, Noah old buddy.”

Noah winces. “Um . . .”

“So I want to say thank you for that,” Andy goes on before
Noah can say anything else. “But the fact is, a few hours ago now, I asked you for one reason. One reason not to drive off this cliff. And you never did give me one.”

“Sure I did!”

“No, precious, you didn't.”

Noah sits up and slides to the edge of the bed, like he's ready to run. I understand; I start to wake up too. Fast. “Oh. Okay. Well—”

“Nah, no. It's too late now. Because on the one hand, you've made me realize that, hey, I'm not the only one suffering out there. But on the other hand, Victoria Hershberger . . . you've killed any small piece of hope I might have had left. People are fucked up everywhere, and it's never going to stop, is it? So I want to say thank you for that, too. Thanks for confirming what brought me up here tonight. Now I know for sure I'm doing the right thing.”

“Andy, don't!”

“Why. Not.”

“Because!”

“That's not a reason.”

“Because . . . maybe tomorrow will be better.”

He chuckles again, but this time I can hear the exhaustion in it. “You don't think that, not really.”

“But I
hope
so. I hope, Andy. That's all I got, man, come on.” I turn to Noah and sock his shoulder, gesturing madly to the phone.

“Uh—yeah, yeah,” Noah says, running a hand through his
hair. “You don't know what might happen tomorrow. Come on, hang in there.”

Andy is silent for way too long, but since I don't hear anything else, I resist the urge to say his name, ask if he's all right.

“Okay,” Andy says at last, and I surprise myself by exhaling a held breath. “Tell ya what, Tori. You've got till sunrise. Once that big orange bitch comes up, though, I'm going to light a cigarette, smoke it, and bid thee adieu.”

I say, “Andy . . .”

Noah says, “Hey, man . . .”

“I'm on Route 57, outside Canyon City. It's west off the I-10.”

“Andy, stop—”

“Did you catch that?”

“Yeah, fifty-seven, west off the ten, but look—”

“Whatever happens, Tori,” Andy interrupts, “I really do thank you. No kidding. Okay? Thank you.”

“
Where
on the fifty-seven? Tell me exactly where!”

“Just you, Tori,” Andy says. “No offense, Noah, my good man, but if anyone else shows, I'm down and out. Got it?”

“I—I—I get it, yeah, but wait,” Noah says.

“Bye, Victoria.”

The line goes dead.

Tori Hershberger
I'm kind of tired of school right now.

Like · Comment · Share · January 10

 7 people like this.

Kevin Cooper
me too, tori. sick of home too. pretty sick of fuckin everything.

 You and 1 other person like this.

Marly DeSoto
then stop coming! please!

 4 people like this.

Dakota Lorey
haha nice marly! yah stay home and spare us, team edward.

Albert Jiminez
“dude looks like a lady” :)

 5 people like this.

Lucas Mulcahy
ha ya and he stinks teh place up hahaha

 5 people like this.

Delmar Jackson
bitch. Throw yourself down some stairs already

 3 people like this.

Dakota Lorey
delmar, who?

Steve Weide
Maybe if we put out a petition to keep him off school property they'd have to not let him in!

 4 people like this.

Delmar Jackson
haha I ment cooper not you dakota :) your sexy

 Dakota Lorey likes this.