Raising Rain (17 page)

Bebe informed Dinah's owners that she was, indeed, pregnant at the time and that she had followed their wishes. Dinah appeared to be recovering well, but needed to stay the night. She made a note on the chart to inform Janice so she could follow up the next day.

Bebe closed down her computer and drove home, feeling angry with Dinah's owners for putting her in the position of playing God. They were adamant that Dinah hadn't been exposed to males. Bebe wondered if they had been fully aware of the possibility of her pregnancy, but didn't voice their suspicions, in case the doctor refused to perform the procedure.

Bebe shared her frustration with Neil that evening, and he sympathized because he'd been placed in a similar situation in the past. Bebe made a mental note to inform the staff in the morning of her decision to test each female prior to spaying. There were other doctors at the clinic who would oblige owners if the tests came back positive, but she would not be terminating pregnancies anymore.

Sleep eluded Bebe that night. She carried her pillow to the couch and sat in the dark, wrapped in the afghan Neil's mother had crocheted before she died.

There had been four tiny fetuses, perhaps an eighth of an inch long, but kittens, nonetheless. Evidence of life. Babies. She rubbed her eyes and tried to erase the picture from her mind. It shouldn't have been her patient at all.

The truth was that this wasn't the first time this situation had come up. She had faced it several times since she'd been in practice. Perhaps back in the early days she had been so focused on being successful as one of the few women in the field, that she'd pushed aside the question of ethics to prove that she was capable of dealing with any situation. She couldn't afford to be squeamish. She'd had to prove herself. And perhaps she was just a bit in denial of what had been required at that moment in time.

She saw it differently now, after giving birth to two sons and seeing them grow to adulthood. She now had an intimate knowledge of the God from whom she had distanced herself in her college years. Life was life.

Her guilt was ever present like the scratchy white noise of an old recording.

Toni fluttered to their table at Dulcinea's where Mare, Rain, and Bebe waited for her and for Jude to arrive.

“Buon giorno!” Toni dramatically threw kisses and settled into a rattan chair. She reached over to pat Rain's cheek.

“You obviously had fun in Tuscany,” Mare said with a note of sarcasm.

Toni closed her eyes, breathing deeply. She opened her eyes wide. “
Everyone
should spend a month every year in Tuscany. The world would be a much better place.”

“And look at this.” Toni took off her shoe and passed it around the table. “Isn't it adorable? I picked them up in one of the little shops in Cinque Terra.”

“Is it leather? You should really try animal alternative shoes, Toni,” Mare chided.

Toni took the shoe out of her hand. “Yes, Mare, they're leather. I gave up cardboard shoes when my family left the old country.”

“Girls,” Bebe warned.

Rain gestured toward the entrance. “Here come Mom and William.”

They waved them over to the table and began shifting their chairs.

“We'll make room for you, William,” Bebe said, moving the place settings over.

Mare's chair scraped the floor as she scooted it on the tiles. “You have to join us today, William.”

“No, no, ladies. I'm not staying.”

They protested, but he begged off. He said he had an appointment and that Jude would call him when she was ready to leave. He gave Rain a kiss on the cheek and they watched him go while Jude scanned her menu.

“He's such a sweet man, Jude. Tell me again how you met,” Mare asked.

Jude glanced briefly over the top of her menu. “In a book club. When it was his turn to choose the next book, he chose a play—
The Women
. I was impressed initially, but then I realized that he didn't choose it for the subject matter. He chose it because it was only a hundred pages long.”

“Oh, Jude, I think it's great anyway. Arnie would never have chosen that,” Mare said. “I think you're perfect for each other.”

“He's a quivering bundle of neuroses, and I don't resemble him in any way, shape, or form.”

“Mom!” Rain demanded. “Don't talk about William like that.”

Silence reigned at the table as Jude appeared to be uncharacteristically at a loss for words.

“Speaking of book clubs,” Toni added, diverting attention from them, “has anyone read a good book lately?”

“I fall asleep reading veterinary journals,” Bebe said, scanning the menu. “Rain, how was the tilapia last time?”

“It was good, but it was a lot of food. I think I'll try the Asian Pear Salad this time.”

Toni was disappointed when their server was female and that it was Rolf 's day off. She waited until Mare had picked apart every entrée and settled on a grilled portobello mushroom on foccacia without cheese. Toni ordered a hamburger, medium rare, with avocado and bacon, with sweet potato fries.

She held her hand up to Mare, who had opened her mouth to speak. “Don't even say it. I knew you when you ate icing by the spoonful.”

Mare swallowed her comments. She changed the subject by inviting them all to check out her website to see the textile exhibit she'd put together for the trade show. She made a point of telling Toni not to miss her line of organic shoes that were
not
made out of cardboard, by the way.

They all asked about Scott, and Bebe was guarded in her sharing, making sure to sound positive—perhaps, more positive than she felt. Rain said she'd gotten a letter back from him and that he sounded great. Bebe deliberately avoided eye contact with Jude. She had remembered not to wear any shades of purple whatsoever to spare herself unnecessary grief, and realized then just how secure and empowered the color made her feel.

After everyone had ordered and the drinks had arrived, Bebe could see that Jude was fading, and she took it upon herself to initiate their planning. Mare asked if they could wait until after they'd eaten to discuss it, which drew a sour look from Jude.

“I think we should get started.” Bebe looked over at Toni. “You said
we have a place to stay in Monterey, right?”

“Yes, I've never been there, but judging by what I know of Marshall Davis, it should be fabulous.”

Rain said, “I think we should make menus and divide up the shopping. Maybe everyone should take a meal.”

Toni tapped her finger on the glass tabletop. “There are so many wonderful restaurants. Wouldn't it be easier to just dine out?”

“Toni, maybe you can afford to eat out every meal, but some of us aren't so fortunate,” Mare said.

“It was just a suggestion.” Toni sipped her mimosa. “I already have a meal in mind, actually.”

Mare studied her. “I'll bring along some miso, just in case.”

Toni frowned and waggled her head. “And I'll bring along a nice juicy steak, just in case.”

Bebe saw Jude sigh heavily and the energy seemed to drain out of her. Bebe chided them, “This is not productive, girls. We need to move along.”

They each threw her a penitent look.

“Now, assuming that we arrive on Friday afternoon and return on Monday morning, we have eight meals to plan.”

“Well,” Toni said, glancing over at Mare, “if no one objects, I'll pick up the tab for one of the meals. We can dine out or have it delivered—whatever everyone wants to do.”

“That's very generous, Toni,” Bebe said. “Just make sure we have a variety of choices available for whatever restaurant you choose.”

“Of course,” Toni said. “I'm easy.”

Mare rolled her eyes.

The other meals were divided between the four of them and suggestions were given. Jude was conspicuously quiet, and Bebe glanced over at Rain, who caught her eye. Bebe made a mental note to ask what accommodations they should make for Jude's meals.

They moved on to an agenda for the weekend and decided that a trip to Cannery Row was in order for anyone who felt up to it. They would have to get an early start to avoid traffic and to find parking on
the weekend. Afterward, they could take the 17-Mile Drive on the way back to the house.

They continued to plan when their food came, and Bebe was mindful of how subdued Jude was. She tried not to let her concern show, knowing that it would only bring a curt response. As they ate, she noticed that Jude merely picked at her food and put her fork down again. When the server asked if she wanted a to-go box, Jude shook her head and waved the food away. The others also noticed. She wondered if Jude would have the stamina to follow through with any kind of plans that they made as a result of the weekend.

Bebe thought about trying to move the date up, but remembered that everyone had a full schedule. Mare had the textile show, and she, herself, would be gone next month for Scott's graduation and then have ten days with him that she wouldn't sacrifice. Toni was accompanying Lawrence to New York while he visited universities in the state, and she doubted that Toni would give up a shopping trip to the city.

“Why don't I drive?” Mare asked.

Toni pointed her fork at Mare. “There's no way I'm riding crammed in your Prius all the way down to Monterey.”

“Oh, it's not that far,” Mare said indignantly.

Bebe offered her Highlander. “It has plenty of space. We could all meet at Jude's and I'll drive the rest of the way. It's not a hybrid, but it's better than each of us driving separately.”

Mare agreed reluctantly.

They ordered two slices of cheesecake to share between them, along with coffee. After the plates were cleared away and leftovers boxed, they split the bill evenly and included Jude's meal. “Our treat,” they told her, and for once, she didn't argue. Bebe suggested that Rain phone William while they waited for the receipt.

Later that day, Bebe gave William a call to check on Jude, and he said that she slept the afternoon away. The luncheon wore her out.

“William, tell me honestly, do you think she'll be okay for the weekend in December? Is there anything we should know?”

He hesitated. “Call me when it gets closer to that time. The stairs
are getting the best of her, so I'd put her on the ground floor near a bathroom. I suspect she'll reserve all her energy for this event. But I don't think it's a good idea that she attends any more luncheons with the four of you. Too many hormones.”

“The same goes for me, frankly. I don't know how we managed to live together for so long in that house without killing each other.”

“Common bonds. Militant sisterhood?”

“We weren't all that militant. Some of us were just naïve and confused. But you're right about having a common bond. That was Rain.”

November 10, 1971

 

“Did you pick up the ice cream?” Bebe asked Mare as she came in and set two bags of groceries on the kitchen table. Bebe shifted Rain to her left hip and rooted around in the freezer until she found a frozen pizza.

“Rainbow sherbet.” Mare handed the sherbet to Bebe who placed it in the freezer. Mare tweaked Rain's tiny nose as she gazed wide-eyed at Mare over Bebe's shoulder. “Got your nose! What a happy birthday! You have ice cream named after you.”

Bebe turned the oven temperature to a mark they had scratched onto the dial that they estimated was 400 degrees. The numbers on the dial had long since been rubbed off. One mark was for pizza, another was for frozen dinners. The oven would only accommodate one pizza at a time, which was just enough for the four of them.

Rain sucked on a handful of Bebe's hair and yanked on it until Bebe dislodged the brown curls from her clenched fist and set her down on the linoleum floor.

“What about frosting?” she asked.

Mare produced the box from the grocery sack. “I got two, just in case. And candles and matches.”

Bebe read the instructions on the white frosting mix. “Do we have any food coloring?”