Raising Rain (14 page)

She and Neil both had the weekend off, and they spent Saturday cleaning together, which took hardly any time since the two of them didn't make much of a mess. The long, hot afternoon lay before them, and Bebe suggested that they go to Lowe's for some mums and marigolds to replace their spent flower bowls. Neil was always up for a trip to Lowe's, and they spent the late afternoon working in the yard after the heat of the day began to cool. They fired up the grill and ate their steaks outside on the deck with soft jazz playing in the background of their conversation and in stretches of pleasant silence.

Their time alone together was good. She still thought of the boys often and prayed for them frequently, but she felt at peace. Life was back to the way it was before they had a family, and she allowed herself a tentative feeling of satisfaction.

Rain returned from faxing contracts to the corporate office, and Craig, one of the new attorneys, stopped by her desk. She wondered if he would ask for her help with another contract negotiation. He made twice as much as she did, and she would love to just say no, even though she couldn't. He glanced nervously over his shoulder, cleared his throat, and tapped his fingers on the top of her cubicle divider. She waited.

“I have two tickets to see Journey at the Sleep Train Amphitheater this Saturday night, and I wondered if you wanted to go,” he blurted. “They're decent seats—at least they're not lawn seats.” When she didn't respond right away, he continued, “They do a great live concert. I think they're with Heart and Cheap Trick.”

Rain couldn't answer immediately. Her first thought was how he even knew she was available, and her second was why he waited so late in the week to ask her. Had his first choice changed her mind?

But the thing that really threw her was the fact that her first date with Hayden had been a Journey concert, too.

“I've seen Journey in concert.” She had to fill the dead space with words and no fresh ones came. Wasn't he younger than she? She glanced over at Lisa's cubicle. “This Saturday?”

“Yeah. I mean, if you've got something going on, I completely understand.” He squirmed a bit. “I know it's kind of late.”

“
This
Saturday.” She hadn't been on a date with someone other than Hayden for seven years. And she loved Journey. She took a breath, overriding her initial flight response. “Sure. What time?”

He smiled, looking relieved, and she noticed that he had a dimple in his chin.

“The doors open at 6:30. I should probably pick you up about 5:30 so we have plenty of time.” He tapped the top of her cubicle once more. “See you Saturday.” He pushed off and looked back at her as he headed toward the elevators.

Rain saw Lisa peek over her cubicle and dive back until Craig had passed. Then she popped her head up and grinned at Rain. Rain narrowed
her eyes. So that's how he knew she was available.

Rain dug some change from her desk drawer and went to the vending machines. Lisa followed and leaned against the Coke machine while Rain fed it with quarters. “So what's up?” Lisa asked, looking happily guilty.

“As if you don't know already.” She popped the top of her Diet Coke and took a drink, feeling flushed. “I'm going to see Journey on Saturday with . . . him.” She pointed her Coke can in the direction Craig had gone and headed back to her desk. Lisa followed.

“No, I did not already know. I just happened to overhear that a certain someone was interested and I tossed him a bone. It was all perfectly legal.” She sighed. “I wish Lyle would take me to a concert.”

In spite of herself, Rain felt a bit of excitement about hearing Journey live again. “Maybe I should dig out my leg warmers and cut my hair in a mullet,” Rain joked, and then quickly sobered. “What if Hayden's there? He loves Journey. He's probably already got tickets.” She sat down heavily at her desk, her shoulders sagging.

“So what?” Lisa said, cocking her head with her hand on her hip. “You're not in high school anymore. He'll see you didn't wait around for him,” she said, going back to her desk.

Rain swiveled her chair around to face her computer, jiggled her mouse, and the screen pulled up the last site she'd been on—the sperm donor site.

A wave of embarrassment broke over Rain. Had that site been displayed the whole time Craig was asking her out? What must he think?

B
ebe was putting in a load of laundry one evening when the phone rang. She almost let the answering machine pick up, but finally grabbed it on the fourth ring.

“Mom! Hey, it's Scott.”

Bebe felt a thrill go through her, and as she greeted him, she frantically motioned to Neil who was on the couch. She pointed at the bedroom. “It's Scotty!” she said. Neil jogged into the back room and picked up the phone.

“Hi, son, how are you?” she heard him say from the extension.

“I'm good. I only have a couple of minutes. My unit earned a phone call today because we did so well on drills. I didn't get to call when we first got here because one of the guys ruined it for us all.”

Briefly, and with the guarded words of one alert, he told them he was doing okay and couldn't wait for graduation. He had made some buddies and said he appreciated receiving letters. They chatted for only a minute or two and they heard a voice speak in the background.

“I have to go. I love you guys and I miss you.”

They said their good-byes and he hung up. Neil came out from the bedroom and they looked at each other in wonder that they had at last spoken to Scotty and he sounded fine. They were grateful that they had both been home and that Bebe had answered the phone. Bebe said she would put another letter in the mail the next day.

She called Dylan to tell him that Scotty had called. He said classes were going well for him, but the job at the bookstore didn't turn out and his car's brakes were getting mushy. He said he would be home a week from Friday for Labor Day.

Before she went to bed, Bebe called Rain and arranged to meet for coffee the next morning. She thought she detected a certain lilt to her voice when she agreed.

Rain picked up her coffee and snagged two cushy chairs, placing her purse in one to save for Bebe. Rain and Hayden used to frequent this Starbucks together, and she always scanned the faces of the other patrons when she came in. Of course, he might not even live in the area now—it could be completely out of his way. She thought again how odd it was that he'd left all their furniture and taken only his clothes.

Lately, she'd begun to wonder if he had commitment issues. All she had wanted to do was to move them to the next level, and certainly a baby would add a deeper dimension to a couple's relationship.

Bebe came in wearing scrubs with patterns of playful kittens on them. Bebe's cheerful smile always managed to lift Rain's spirits, no matter what was going on in her life. The smile made Bebe's eyes sparkle and called attention to her freckles, which were still plentiful, even at her age. You couldn't really call Bebe beautiful by today's standards. She wore hardly any makeup now and did little with her hair other than occasionally putting it in a French braid, but she still looked youthful and vibrant—more than Rain was feeling at the moment. Bebe paid for her coffee and grabbed the chair that Rain had saved for her.

“Hey, how's it going?” she asked Rain. “What's up?”

“Well, I have a date. At least, something like a date. I'm not really sure. A ‘not-date.'”

Bebe forced a smile. “Oh, a ‘not-date.' Who with?”

“Craig, one of the attorneys in the office. We're going to see Journey in concert tomorrow night.”

Bebe made another effort to brighten her face, but the effect fell short. “That sounds like fun. How do you feel about it? I imagine the first date with someone new might be a little strange.”

Rain shrugged. “It's flattering to be asked, but I don't really know him very well. It's only a concert. It's just that . . .”

Bebe waited. “Just what?”

“It's just that Hayden and I met singing ‘Don't Stop Believing' at a karaoke night and our first date was a Journey concert. So I'm not crazy about the possibility of running into him there.” She shook her head. “Thousands of people will be at the concert. What are the odds that I would even run into him?”

“Oh, I see.” Bebe carefully popped the lid from her coffee and sipped lightly. “How did it go when he came by for his things?”

“It was fine. He came alone. He looked like he was on his way somewhere, though. He's officially moved out now.”

Rain kept her eyes lowered and tried to look casual, but she felt Bebe's eyes on her.

“How's your mom?”

“She's still working half-days when she's not recovering from her treatments. I don't know how much longer she'll be able to keep it up. It will be hard for her to let it go when the time comes. She thinks the firm needs her. She says she brings ‘balance to the force.'”

“That doesn't surprise me.”

Rain studied her. “She must have been a real pain when she was young. I don't know how the three of you put up with her for so long.”

Bebe chuckled. “All the dorms were full that first year, and the lease was in her name. After that, we just kind of settled into a routine.” She grew thoughtful. “The truth is that we were clay in her hands. She had
so much more experience with life than we did. I was a farm girl just off the vineyard. Mare was fresh out of Catholic school, and Toni still spoke Polish to her grandmother. Although Toni definitely gave Jude a run for her money. Jude was so charismatic and together.” She gave a rueful smile. “We were primed, what can I say?”

“She must have been more fun back then.”

“Did you know she was in Haight-Ashbury during the Summer of Love? She met the bass player with Jefferson Airplane—at least, that's who he told her he was. She was young. But she's told you this stuff already, hasn't she?”

“She told me more than any adolescent girl should know about her mother.” A question formed, and she asked it even though she wasn't sure she was prepared to hear the answer. “Do you know who my dad was?”

Bebe took a long sip of her coffee and frowned like she was thinking. Then, she shook her head. “No. There were a couple of guys Jude hung out with, but nobody special. Hasn't she ever talked to you about it?”

“Mom never talks about it. She said she didn't need a man.”

Rain remembered her own words to Bebe that she didn't need Hayden to have a baby. Would her own child resent her years from now?

“You have to realize that times were different then. A lot of people embraced the idea of ‘free love.' There were no curfews or dorm mothers monitoring coeds by then, and we were off campus in our own little world. So much changed so fast, that no one knew where the boundaries were. It was heady stuff.”

Rain sat back and crossed her arms. “Are you saying that my mother was typical?”

“No, Jude worked very hard not to be. Back then, women were just beginning to realize that they had choices. Jude arrived fully loaded with the opinion that women should have control of their own bodies and take charge of their own sexuality. And guys were only too eager to agree.” Bebe pinched the rim of her coffee cup. “Some of us found that that type of freedom wasn't all it was cracked up to be.”