Rainbow High (17 page)

“Not for now,” Debra said matter-of-factly. “Lance Lanier asked me out, but I’m not sure I’m ready yet.” Jason hardly knew Lance, a tal , blond guy on the tennis team, but he seemed nice enough.

“Maybe I’l be ready by the time prom comes up,” Debra added. A smile sneaked onto her face. “Are you going?”

“Yeah, right. Like I don’t have enough to think about?”

The more they talked, the more relaxed he felt. When it came time for her to leave, they both stood awkwardly by the door. Tentatively he reached his arms out. She embraced him in return, her rose perfume bringing back so many memories. He held her tight, and thought how smal and delicate she felt compared to tal , lanky Kyle.

No sooner had Debra said good-bye than Jason’s mom started her weirdness again.

“I miss her,” she said with a sigh. “Such a nice girl. Maybe you and she could work things out.”

“Ma!” Jason shouted. “There’s nothing to work out. I came out to the team. The whole school knows I’m gay. I’m not getting back together with Debra.”

He stormed to his room, cursing in disbelief.

The fol owing morning Jason entered the school through a side door, hoping to avoid being mobbed by another crowd of swarming girls. But even though the hal s were buzzing, only a handful of students came up to him.

Was his coming out no longer breaking news? That was a relief, but also a little disappointing. He’d enjoyed the rush of attention. It was kind of a high.

During algebra, Principal Muel er’s voice crackled out of the loudspeaker. “Mr. Perez?” Jason slunk down in his seat, covering his face. Intuitively he knew what was coming.

“Is Jason Carril o in class?” Muel er growled wearily.

Jason peered between his fingers. Mr. Perez was waving him forward. “Yes, sir. I’l send him down.” While crossing the lobby to the main office, Jason casual y glanced out the window and noticed a truck from the local news channel pul ing out of the driveway.
What’s that about?
he wondered.

As before, Mr. Muel er sat behind his fat desk, twisting a rubber band between his fingers. Coach Cameron sat across from him.

“Jason,” Muel er said sternly, “I thought we had an agreement. I’ve told Coach how disappointed I am with you.
Very
disappointed.” Jason glanced over at Coach, who sat calmly, his face impassive.

“Coach has reassured me the team doesn’t seem too disconcerted by your ...” He struggled for the word. “... your revelation. And I hope that’s the case.”

He tossed his rubber band aside. “In any event, a new matter has come up, about which I’m concerned.
Very
concerned.” He swept a hand across his desk. “I want to make one thing absolutely clear. Under no circumstances wil I al ow this school to become some sort of media carnival.”

What the heck was Muel er talking about? Jason’s face must have registered his confusion because Coach intervened. “Channel Seven wants to do an interview with you about your coming out.”

An unexpected lump appeared in Jason’s throat. A TV interview? He’d spoken to reporters before, but only about sports, never about anything
personal.

He ran a hand through his hair. What would they ask? What would he say?

“Given the nature of the interview,” Coach continued, “they’l need your parents’ permission.” Muel er stood up and traveled around the desk to Jason. “I’ve told the station to come back after school. I’m not going to try tel ing you what to do again. If you decide to do it, I’m counting on you to make us look good.” He patted Jason’s shoulder. “Don’t let me down again, Jason.”

Make
us
look good? Had his coming out become a reflection on the school?

“You okay?” Coach asked as they exited Muel er’s office.

Jason looked up to see Coach peering into his face. “Um, yeah, I just—I hadn’t expected this. What if they ask me stuff I don’t want to talk about?”

“Then just say you don’t want to talk about that. You don’t have to answer every question. Play offense. Determine what you want to say and say it.”

Coach made it sound so simple. Jason stared back at him. “Do you think I should do it?”

“That’s up to you. It’l definitely give you a higher profile. If Tech hasn’t heard anything yet, they definitely wil now. That might be a good thing

... or it might hurt.”

Jason bit into a fingernail. Should he do it?

“Take some time to think about it,” Coach said reassuringly. “Whatever you decide, I’l back you up. Good luck, Carril o.” He clapped Jason on the back. “And don’t be too late for practice.”

Jason watched him leave, not sure what to do. Did he real y want the whole world to know he was gay?

“Can I make a cal ?” he asked the secretary.

“You’re becoming quite the celebrity,” she said, gesturing toward the phone.

Lucky me,
Jason thought. His hand trembled a little as he picked up the receiver.

His mom was in a meeting with one of the attorneys at the firm where she worked as a paralegal, but an assistant cal ed her to the phone.

“What’s the matter?” his mom asked. “Is everything okay?”

He told her about the interview. “I need your permission to do it.”

The line was silent a moment. “Jason, I’m not sure about this. What if it hurts your chances for col ege? What if you lose your scholarship?” Her anxiety only confused him even more. “I’m not sure either, but Coach said it might help.” Jason didn’t mention Coach also saying it might hurt.

The line went quiet again. At last his mom responded. “It’s your decision. I’l give my permission. But I don’t think you should do it.”

“Thanks,” Jason mumbled, and scribbled down her fax number, though he stil wasn’t certain whether to go through with it.

At lunch Debra was sitting with Lance. Jason knew he needed to tel her about the interview. Anyone who’d known Debra and him as a couple and hadn’t heard about his coming out was bound to hear about it now.

“Wha’s up?” Jason said, carrying his tray over. “Can I talk to you?” He felt kind of awkward barging in on her and Lance, but Debra didn’t seem to mind.

“Hi, Jason. Sit down. Do you know Lance?”

Jason extended his hand and the three of them made smal talk as Jason gathered his nerve. What if she didn’t want him to do the interview? In that case, he wouldn’t do it.

When the chitchat hit a lul , he brought it up. To his surprise, Debra took it a lot better than he’d expected. “That’s awesome!”

“Tel me if you don’t want me to do it,” Jason warned her. “You realize a lot of people wil see it?”

“I know. And I think you should do it.”

Lance nodded in agreement.

Jason bit into a thumbnail. Was no one going to stop him from doing this?

There was one other person with whom he needed to talk. As he exited the cafeteria he spotted him.

“Kyle, guess what?” Jason ran up, whispering. “Channel Seven wants to interview me. You think I should do it?”

“On TV?” Kyle gasped. “Wow! You realize how many people wil see it?”

No doubt he was thinking “role model” again.

Jason noticed a couple of guys looking over. Were people starting to gossip about Kyle and him? Why couldn’t they mind their own business?

“I think I’m going to do it,” Jason said. “It’l be after school. Wil you come?”

“I wouldn’t miss it for anything,” Kyle told him.

Al during afternoon classes Jason could hardly sit stil . As last period ended he watched the clock, his books stacked and ready. The instant the bel sounded, he bolted down the hal .

The TV reporter was waiting in the main office. Jason recognized her from the news—a petite African-American woman. She seemed a lot tal er on TV.

“The crew is setting up outside,” she told Jason. “Let’s talk a few minutes first. Have you ever been on TV before?”

“Yeah,” Jason said, trying to keep his voice steady. “I’ve gotten interviewed a couple of times after games.”

“So you know to just relax?”

“I know,” he told her, biting into a nail.

“Okay.” She gave him a skeptical look. For several minutes she asked background questions about school and family. “Al right,” she said.

“Ready?”

“Sure,” his voice piped out.

They walked out to the front steps, where a crowd of students had gathered by the camerawoman. At the forefront, the GSA students cheered. Jason waved sheepishly.

“Just relax,” the reporter told him again. “Breathe and be yourself.”

A moment later tape began rol ing as she spoke toward the camera. “We’re here today at Walt Whitman High School. This week senior athlete Jason Carril o, who plays varsity basketbal , made a shocking announcement to his teammates. He told them he’s gay.” Jason felt his legs tremble beneath him. Did she actual y say
shocking?

“What prompted you to come out?” she asked.

“Um, I was sick of hiding ... and I thought maybe I could help other people who are going through what I’ve gone through.” The reporter nodded sympathetical y. “And what did your parents say when you told them?”

“Wel , my dad ... we’ve never gotten along anyway.”

“So he didn’t take it wel ? What happened?”

Jason hesitated, recal ing what Coach had told him. “I’d rather not talk about it.”

“It must have been difficult,” the reporter fil ed in for him. “And your mom?” Jason wasn’t sure what to say. “She loves me,” he replied vaguely.

“And how have your schoolmates reacted?” the reporter pressed on.

“With me, they’ve been great. But there’s always been a lot of name-cal ing in the hal s. You know—‘that’s so gay,’ stuff like that. A lot of homophobia. I think the GSA is helping make things better.”

The GSA students burst into applause and cheers.

The reporter smiled. “It looks like you have some fans.”

Jason blushed.

“What plans do you have for after graduation?” the reporter asked. “I understand you got a scholarship to Tech. Do they know you’re gay?” Jason took a breath. “Now they do.”

“And what do you think they’l say?”

“Wel , the scholarship is for playing bal . I don’t see why this should change anything. I’m stil the same bal player I was before. I hope they realize that.”

“So wil you be taking a date to your senior prom?”

Jason faltered. Why was everyone so fixated on prom already? “I hadn’t thought about it yet.” The reporter leaned toward him as if she were a confidant. “And do you have a boyfriend?” Jason froze. Where had
that
question come from? She hadn’t said anything about asking that. What could he answer? He wasn’t ready to deal with the whole school yakking about him and Kyle. But if he said he didn’t want to talk about it, everyone would surely take that to mean he
did
have a boyfriend. They’d hound him to death.

Jason scanned the crowd for Kyle, hoping for help. Maybe Kyle was behind him, but Jason couldn’t exactly turn away from the camera to look for him.

The reporter moved the microphone closer, her face eager for Jason’s response.

There was only one answer he felt capable of giving. “Um, no.”

The reporter gave him a cordial smile. “Wel , thank you very much Jason, and good luck!” She said a few more words to close the interview, but Jason had stopped listening. The moment the camera switched off, he turned around and saw Kyle. His eyes were like wel s, deep and wounded. Nelson gestured something from behind him, as if trying to signal Jason.

As Jason approached them, shaking hands with the dispersing crowd, Kyle glared over his shoulder and Nelson said, “Um, I’l wait for you by the flagpole.”

Jason shoved his hands into his pockets. After Nelson left he told Kyle in a low voice, “I looked for you. I didn’t know how to answer when she asked that.”

Kyle’s eyebrows rode up. “You could’ve answered it honestly.”

“Wel ,” Jason protested, “I didn’t know if you wanted the whole school to start talking about us.”

“Like they’re not talking about you already?” Kyle crossed his arms. “Are you embarrassed about me?”

“No! Kyle, don’t make this a bigger deal than it is. I didn’t mean it personal y.”

“Wel ,” Kyle said, “I am taking it personal y, because I
am
a person. And I am your boyfriend, I
think
—although you just negated that in front of the whole world. That’s a pretty big deal to me.”

Jason glanced around. People were staring. “I don’t have time for this,” he muttered. “I’ve got to get to practice.” With that, he turned and strode away, wondering: Why was Kyle acting so goofy again? Didn’t he realize how much pressure the interview had put him under?

At practice the team played total y out of sync. Everyone was stressed because the quarterfinals were set to start the fol owing day. Even Coach yel ed more than usual, or at least it seemed that way.

That evening, as Jason waited for the eleven o’clock news broadcast, he kept tel ing himself he was glad he’d said he didn’t have a boyfriend, because he wasn’t certain he could deal with one right now.

Yet every time the phone rang, he jumped for it, hoping it was Kyle.

“Excuse me!” Nelson ranted at passing cars as he walked home with Kyle. “I’m queer too! Where’s
my
TV debut? And what was that hideous green shirt about? If he’s going to represent gay youth, he needs to get some fashion sense.” Kyle ambled alongside him, shaking his head. “I can’t believe he told the entire world he doesn’t have a boyfriend. Maybe he real y doesn’t think of me as his boyfriend.”

“Kyle!” Nelson snapped his fingers. “That’s like a ten on the stupid-meter. Of course he thinks you’re his boyfriend.”

“Then why did he say that?”

“Honey, not to put a stain on your party dress, but the guy’s human. Humans say stupid things. He probably just didn’t want the whole school blabbing about it. Let it go!”

But Kyle couldn’t let it go. “I can’t believe I’d pass up Princeton for him and—”

“Hold it right there!” Nelson thrust his arms out, blocking Kyle’s path. “You are
not
passing up Princeton.” Kyle pursed his lips, as if thinking. “I haven’t decided yet.”