Rage Within (30 page)

“Let’s make this easy, then,” Jack said, reaching out and taking her hand. “You messed up. You know it. I know it. Everyone knows it, although they keep telling you otherwise. You know why? They believe in you. Yeah, you screwed up. So have they. We all have. But you’ve managed to last the longest.
Everyone looks up to you, Aries. Just because you made one mistake, it doesn’t turn you into a monster. It makes you human.”

He pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her. “Come on, even leaders need a good hug now and then.”

She fell into his embrace, holding him tight. Jack was like the brother she never had. He always managed to make her feel safe. They stayed together for a while, him holding her while the tears rolled down her face.

“It seems like I’m crying all the time these days,” she said after a while. “I bawled on Mason’s shoulder when we were back at my old house. Now you. I can’t control myself.”

“Me neither,” he said. “I guess we’ve all been wrapped up in our own problems. I’ve been feeling rather sorry for myself. I guess I should have paid a little more attention to you.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” she said.

Jack paused. “I need to ask you something and I don’t want you to say no.”

She pulled away from the hug and sat up. “You sound serious.”

“I am.”

“Okay.”

Jack rubbed his forehead and winced, the frown lines digging deeply into his skin. “This is something I’ve been thinking a lot about,” he said. “If something happens, like as in we have to leave the house in a hurry, I’m not coming.”

“What? Why not?”

“It’s my choice, Aries,” he said.

“You’re talking about suicide.”

“Oh, come on, you know it’s not that,” he said with a forced chuckle. “I just don’t want to slow the rest of you
down. And don’t make that face. I may not be able to see you, but I can hear the frown forming on your lips.”

“I’m not frowning.”

“Yes, you are. What kind of friend do you think I am? I’ve only known you since forever. And that’s why I know you’re going to give me your word.”

She sighed. “I can’t lose you, Jack. I can’t.”

“Then let’s hope you won’t. But you still have to make the promise.”

“Fine. But it’s not gonna happen, so there’s no point in this discussion anyway,” she lied.

“Exactly,” Jack said. “Now can you hand me some of the Tylenol on the counter? My head’s about to explode.”

She fiddled with the childproof cap until she finally managed to get a few of the pills into his outstretched hand.

*   *   *

A few hours later Aries, Clementine, Raj, and Joy dressed themselves completely in black. They carried backpacks filled with handmade Molotov cocktails that Raj had cooked up in the bathroom.

“So we stick to the plan,” Aries said. “If things become too hard, we get out. No questions asked. Be careful. We can’t lose anyone, especially not so soon after . . .”

Joy nodded. She pulled up her sleeve, checking the digital watch taken from the hardware store. They were each wearing one, all set to the same time. “Do you think Eve is going to be okay staying with Jack? Larisa and Claude are here, but they don’t really know her well enough if she breaks down again. Do you think it’s enough? Maybe one of us should stay too?”

“No,” Aries said. “Give Eve more credit than that. She’s strong. And besides, she’s got Colin.”

Joy snorted and Aries grinned at her.

“Then let’s get out of here,” Clementine said. “And, Aries, you know that tomorrow we’re doing the exact same thing for Michael.”

Raj groaned. “How on earth did I get into the rescue business? All I did was follow a few of you home and now you’ve got me going all
Mission: Impossible
. I should start charging you for my time.”

Clementine smacked him on the arm.

“Tomorrow we get Michael,” Aries agreed, shaking her heavy backpack and listening to the bottles clink together. “Let’s just hope his rescue doesn’t involve as much firepower.”

NOTHING

Jingle bells. Jingle bells.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas.

Fa la la la la, la, la,

la

La.

Okay, I’m lying. It’s so not beginning to look like the holidays in any way, shape, or form. That warm fuzzy feeling people normally get when they drink too much eggnog? It’s extinct.

This year the city really went downhill with decorations. Gone are the big Christmas trees, the fancy shop windows, and the ice rink in Robson Square. Gone are the hot-chestnut vendors and the people rushing through the night, umbrellas in one hand, last-minute packages in the other. Gone are the multitude of bright lights, miscellaneous chocolate, and candy canes that taste like peppermint.

No staff parties this year. No mistletoe or drunken binges that may or may not end with someone throwing up in the parking lot.

Gone but not forgotten.

Everyone remembers. I can see the tension on their faces. They know what day is coming. But no one wants to say it out loud.

Can it still be Christmas if no one believes? If I gave you a gift, would you treasure it always? Or would you fret because you didn’t get me anything in return? Wouldn’t it be nice if I could gift my curse to you, package it up in a nice bundle, and place a silver ribbon over my life? I would give it to you in a heartbeat.

Of course, you would probably just return it the next day.

I wish I had a tree. If I could, I would sneak off into the mountains and wander until I found the perfect pine. I wouldn’t chop it down; that would be too cruel. I’d just like to sit there and stare at it, enjoying the smell and the beauty that is all around me. I might never want to come back.

Does anyone know what I want this year?

No, don’t bother guessing. You’ll be wrong.

And I wouldn’t want to embarrass you by pointing it out.

CHRISTMAS EVE

MICHAEL

The Longhouse kitchen was empty.

Michael stood in the middle of the room where only a short while ago Ryder had leaned against the counter and cradled his sprained ankle. The spot was empty.

“There’s no sign of a struggle,” Heath said. “And the door’s intact. The crazies would have smashed through it if they came for him.”

“I don’t get it,” Michael said. “Why would he leave? How would he? He couldn’t even walk. He would have had to crawl away.”

“Do you think one of his friends might have found him?” Heath went over to the other set of doors and opened them. They led out into the alley, but there wasn’t anything there except for the stolen white van.

“I guess it’s possible.”

“It’s not like he really liked you,” Heath said. “I got the vibe that there was some bad mojo going on between the two of you. He seemed like kind of a dick.”

Michael nodded. “Yeah, he had issues, but I still don’t see how he could have just gotten up and walked away. I had to
drag him in here, and trust me, he would rather have died than ask for my help.”

“Then let’s search for him,” Heath said. “But we’d better be quick. We don’t want to stick around too long with a stolen van. They’re probably already looking for us.”

They headed back to the reception area, but there was no sign of the other guy. Ryder had simply vanished into thin air. Nothing. Michael was confused. He replayed some of their conversations in his head, but he couldn’t think of anything that Ryder might have said to suggest that he wanted to head off on his own. Yes, Ryder didn’t trust Michael, but at the same time, he’d made it clear he wanted to get back to the safe house and find Larisa and any others who might still be alive. So why would he go off on his own?

It made no sense.

There was blood on the glass by the front door, but Michael couldn’t remember if it had been there earlier. He studied it, ignoring the tingling iciness along the back of his spine. Was it Ryder’s? He kneeled down and ran his finger along the glass. Only a few drops, but it was fresh. Someone could have just nicked themselves on the way out.

“Come on, man,” Heath said. “I’m nervous. I think we need to move on.”

Climbing to his feet, Michael took one last look at the reception area. “Yeah,” he said. “We should go. Clementine is probably worrying herself to death right about now. I can’t wait to see her face when I show up with you.”

Heath smiled. “It’s going to be amazing.”

MASON

He’d never been so tired in his entire life. Never. Not even the one summer he’d worked at the golf course, getting up at four a.m. to plant flowers and cut the grass to save up money for his car. Early wake-up calls were not something he was good at. The first few weeks had been torturous; it seemed like forever before he was able to climb out of bed each morning without feeling a hundred years old. He remembered complaining good-naturedly to Mom about how his back hurt from bending over to plant millions of flower beds with pansies and yellow mums. She’d laughed and told him he was too young to be complaining of old-man problems.

Suck it up, buttercup.

He’d give anything to feel like that again. A little back pain was nothing now. At least he’d had the sun and the way the air smelled when he left the house each morning. He’d liked the feeling of knowing the rest of the world was still asleep. The world was still fresh, untouched by the exhaust fumes and other stagnant smells that would start filling up the atmosphere once everyone had their morning coffees and headed out the door to work.

Mason yawned. The smart thing would be to retreat to his tent and lie down, but he was afraid that if he did, he wouldn’t be able to get back up again. Daniel was nowhere in sight and he didn’t have the strength to look for him either. So he limped over to the corner by the stage and stood there, using all his willpower to keep his eyes open and scan the surrounding area outside the compound for signs of rescue.

They would come for him tonight. He was positive about that. Of course, that didn’t mean much. He couldn’t follow.

Spasms raked his back and he bent over, trying to relieve the pain, but it was pointless. Nothing short of a needle to the spine would fix him. How many bodies had he picked up today? Too many to count. The burns from the cattle prod didn’t help either. Every time he glanced over at the inlet, an overwhelming desire to jump into the water grew more prominent. Of course, the salt water would sting beyond belief, but it would also cool his burning skin.

What he wouldn’t give for a bathtub.

Or a hot tub. Yeah, a hot tub would be fantastic.

Mr. Leon was trying to wear him down, bit by bit. Mason hated to admit it, but it was working. Would he still be able to stay strong after a few weeks of this? Or would he fold, babbling away his secrets in the confinement of that small office room? If he was lucky, his inner demons might explode, hopefully taking down as many Baggers as possible along the way.

How many of them could he kill before they overcame him?

“You don’t look so good.”

Daniel’s voice came from behind him.

“Yeah, had a long day. Spent it riding the roller coaster at Playland. Ate too many hot dogs, so I had to sit down for a while. Good times were had by all.” He turned to look at
Daniel and immediately the sarcasm left his voice. “Holy God, what happened to you?”

If Mason had been hit by a car, then Daniel must have gotten in the way of a herd of wild horses. He limped the last few feet toward the fence, coming into the light, and his face was a mess of bruises and dried blood from a gash in his forehead.

“Leon,” Daniel said. “We had a fantastic debate today. Had a good argument, but his was stronger. Doesn’t matter. Could be worse. At least I’m still standing. At one point he threatened to remove one of my legs.”

“So what did you tell him?”

Daniel managed a small laugh. “Please, Dowell, do yourself a favor and give it up. You managed to get through all that without spouting off your big mouth. I’m stronger than you. I said nothing.”

“Why us?” Mason asked. “I mean, I don’t see them torturing the crap out of the other people here.”

“We’ve got information they want,” Daniel said, nodding in the direction of the casino. “I guess we should be thankful that they keep giving us all this fresh air. Those people inside aren’t as lucky.”

A small thought formed in the back of Mason’s head, turning his stomach to ice. “Do you think they’re using us as bait?”

Daniel frowned. “It’s possible. Never considered that.”

“I saw Clementine today. They know we’re here. I think they might be coming tonight. Do you—”

A loud explosion interrupted his words. The far guard tower burst into flames. People screamed and rushed out of their tents in confusion.

“Hold that thought,” Daniel said. “Something bad is about to go down.”

CLEMENTINE

The fire was brilliant. She’d tossed the bottle over the fence, completely unaware of exactly how loud the explosion would be. She let out a little chirp of excitement when the bottle smashed against the silver box beneath the guard tower, eyes lighting up in amazement when the flames engulfed everything at once.

The explosion was an extra bonus.

“You hit a generator,” Raj said excitedly behind her. “On your first throw. You are amazing.”

“No time to roast marshmallows,” Clementine said. “Come on.” Using a lighter, she fired up another Molotov cocktail and sent it flying out into the night. It hit one of the tents and she hoped no one was inside. Most of the prisoners had evacuated into the middle of the compound, grouping together in confusion, trying to keep safe.

“Time to move,” Aries said. “We’ve been spotted.”

Sure enough, two Baggers were running toward them, guns raised and ready to fire.

They ran. Aries and Clementine headed off toward the water, leaving Raj and Joy to disappear in the other direction,
where the casino was. There were more generators there and Raj had suggested they hit them first. Without light and power, they’d have a better shot at chaos.