Quiet Country (Satan's Sinners M.C. Book 2) (14 page)

The nurses come in to check on us, making sure we’re both fine. I’m exhausted, having a baby takes a lot out of a person, and Bear sees it, so he tells me to sleep for a little while. I’m so grateful because I'm running on fumes. I’m not sure how long I slept, but when I open my eyes, Bear is holding Kellen, whispering to him. I can't hear what he’s saying but just the sight forms a lump in my throat and tears well up in my eyes. Why did I have to be so fucking stupid and let him miss everything?

All the guys, plus Zoey and Ever, come to see us. The brothers congratulate us and stare at Kellen in wonderment, but don't hold him. Poor guys, they’re big bad ass bikers, but scared to hold a little baby. I find it funny because when you meet them and are around them, they don't seem to be scared of anything. The girls hold Kellen though, and of course, fall in love. I can't wait for Zoey to have her babies!

I need to apologize to everyone and there's no better time than the present. “Guys, I want to tell you all how sorry I am that I really haven't given you a chance. I was holding shit against you all that had nothing to do with you. I hope you can forgive me. You're Bear’s family and now Kellen's too."

"Oh, well fuck, I guess we can forgive you,” Bam Bam replies with a smile.

“We never held anything against you, just treat our brother right,” Hacker chimes in. I nod, tears shining in my eyes. They all come give me hugs, even the girls. When it's Doc's turn, he whispers in my ear, "He loves you Lil Mama. Treat him right, please. The love you guys could have only comes around once in a lifetime and you don't wanna lose that, believe me. Don't keep Kellen away either, he's special to me. First baby I ever delivered and I certainly won't be forgettin' that."

"I won't, I promise,” I say, pulling away to look at him. “I won't ever forget it either and I can't thank you enough for delivering him." He smiles, nods and backs away. After everyone leaves and we’re alone again, I look to Bear. "Will you tell me about your mom?" He comes over to sit next to me on the bed.

"The only reason I wouldn't tell you before is because I didn't know where we were going and this isn't something a lot of people know about. Really, only Ripper knew and I hope you don't have second thoughts after I tell you."

"Bear, I'm not going to. This is a new start for us, so we need to get it all out." He gives me a tight nod starting the most heartbreaking story I've ever heard.

"I told you about my father being killed when I was eleven. My parents were so happy before he died. My momma couldn't deal with the pain of losing him, so she started going out all the time, leaving me at home to fend for myself. I started noticing changes in her, and finding burnt and bent spoons, needles laying around. And guys would start coming around when she was home.

I didn't understand at first, until two years had passed since my father's death. In that two years, my mother became a heroin addict. We lost the house, we lost everything and had to move into a horrible fuckin’ apartment in a shit part of town. She couldn't hold down a job at all and any money she got it would go to her addiction. But the bills still had to get paid and I needed food and clothes, so I found a group of kids to hang with and they taught me how to hustle. Being bigger than most kids my age, no questions were asked about how old I was and I don't think they would've given a shit anyway. So at thirteen, I was paying all the bills, buying groceries, and taking care of myself. When my mother needed to get high to take the pain away, I supplied her with what she needed. I would give her enough to last her a week. That was the deal, no more, no less. On the second anniversary of my father's death, I came home to find her dead. I had gotten new shit and had given her the same amount I normally did that morning, but instead of spacing it out, she did all of it in one blast. Jacey, I killed my mom." Bear’s gazing out the hospital window. I put my hand on his cheek, bringing his eyes to mine.

"Baby, listen to me. You did not kill your mom. She was hurting and couldn't deal, she chose to leave you. You have to let that guilt go."

He tilts his head into my touch, closing his eyes. "Ripper used to tell me that all the time. I never believed him though. I've held onto that for so long. I knew what that shit did to people, what it did to her. Jacey, my mom was so happy before my dad died and when he was taken from us, she gave up and never returned. My mother used to be so beautiful, with her tanned skin, long brown hair, and big, bright brown eyes. She always had a smile on her face. When I found her in that kitchen chair, she had stringy greasy hair, her face was sunk in, pasty with deep black circles all around her eyes, and she had lost so much weight. She had sores all over her face and her arms. Her head was back and her eyes were open, so was her mouth, and I could see the tourniquet tied around her upper arm, the needle sticking out. I'll never forget it, how awful she looked. I remember it like it was fuckin' yesterday."

"Oh, Bear. I'm so sorry. You've been through so much."

"Yeah, well, it was all a long time ago. Just gotta keep movin' on."

"Is that why you call me Lil Mama?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you said she used to have tan skin and long brown hair."

"Huh… I never thought about it that way, but yeah. I guess. You do have some of the same features she had. I guess the name really does fit now that we've got Kellen." He lets out a soft chuckle and shakes his head.

"Bear, you’ve said to me that I wasn't proud to call you my man. That's not true. I was scared. I don't and wouldn’t want anyone else. I didn't know anything you had been through. You're so strong for making it through all that."

"I meant what I said last night, Jacey. Fuck, we did this all wrong, but from this point forward, we’re gonna make it right. We’re gonna start from the beginnin'."

"What the hell does that mean?"

There’s a knock at the door, and in comes my witch of a mother. How the hell did she find me? "It would have been nice to hear from you. I was so worried, I started calling all the hospitals around this God forsaken place until I found you." I guess that answers my question. She sees Bear and narrows her eyes. "Let me see my grandchild.” I hand Kellen over to her and she looks at Bear. "You’re dismissed now. You can leave."

"Bear, meet my mother." I look to him and I see he’s getting pissed, nostrils flaring, face turning red. "Mom, he’s not going anywhere. That is his son."

"Yes he is. Leave now. No grandchild of mine will be raised by biker trash. You will find a good man, someone who can support you and this baby." Yeah, this isn't good. He's gonna flip his shit if I don't handle this, and quickly.

"The fuck?" He sets his cold hard stare on her.

"Bear, don't. I got this.” I hold out my arms. "Give me our baby." She hesitantly does and I pass him over to Bear. "Let's get something straight, Mother," I spit. "I
am
a grown ass woman. I
will
make my own goddamn decisions. I
will
do what is best for my child and that
is
having his father. You
took
me away from mine, I will
not
do that to them. You kept me sheltered my
entire
life, having no friends, studying all the time for something I didn't even really want to be. Bear has been good to me all this time, even after everything I have put him through. I'm
in love
with
him
. I
won't
let you mess this up for me, not anymore. Now, you are the one that is dismissed. Pack your shit and get out of my apartment and go home."

"You ungrateful little bitch," if looks could kill, I'd have been six feet under. "After everything I have done for you."

"Enough." Bear's voice echoes through the room.

He gently lays Kellen in his bed. Walking right up to her, rage clear on his face, he growls, "You will not disrespect my woman ever again. I could give two fucks who you are. I've been chasin' somethin' unattainable for months because of you. You will not fuck with her head any more than you already have. My baby will not be raised by another fuckin' man, and for you to even suggest some shit like that makes you the biggest fuckin' cunt I've ever met. One last thing, I do believe she told you to get the fuck out. If you need help gettin' your shit from her place, it would be an honor to call my brothers to help you. I don't believe you've met the Satan's Sinners, have you?" She shakes her head while walking to the door, fear written all over her face.

Just like that, she opens it and leaves. He turns, looking at me.

"Are you okay?"

I let out a laugh.

"Me? Yeah, I'm fine. You don't know how long I've wanted to tell her to get the fuck out. Are you okay though? I'm sorry she said that shit to you."

"No need to be sorry," he pauses. "Did you mean what you said?"

"Every word,” I respond without hesitation.

"I'm movin' you into my place."

“We can't just move in together. You were just talking about starting over. And we can't move a baby to the clubhouse either."

"Not talkin' ‘bout the clubhouse. You'll be livin' at my place but, I'll still stay with my brothers."

"Well, where is it?"

"Just trust me. I'll have the prospects clean out your place, and go get everything for Kellen."

"That's fine, but tell them not to do my bedroom."

"Why?"

"Bear, I’m being very cooperative here. Just promise me they won’t go in my bedroom. I have my personal things in there. You want the guys to see the kind of bras and panties I wear?"

"Good point, I'll tell 'em. When you get out tomorrow, we'll go clean out your room."

"Okay."

"We’ll do it right this time. We need to start over, see how it goes. You good with that?"

"Yeah. Let's do this shit." He bursts out laughing which causes me to laugh too.

"So, if you don't want to be a doctor, what do you wanna do?"

"I don't know yet. Take time to focus on being a mom, live my life for me and not someone else."

"Sounds good, Lil Mama."

Bear

She was right, her mom is a fucking bitch. No way could I sit there, letting her talk to Jacey like that. I give two fucks who you are, no one will disrespect my woman, the mother of my child, and for her to say another man should raise my son, she must have lost her fucking mind. I could’ve killed her with no remorse.

After I talked to Jacey about moving in with me, I called all the guys to have 'em clear out her apartment, except her bedroom. I was shocked she didn't put up more of a fight about moving in. She had fought me tooth and nail this whole time about fucking everything. Maybe our talk and getting it all out there worked and she's really gonna try, maybe this is our time. I can only hope we get this shit right. I don't wanna be away from her anymore and I won’t be away from my son.

I have another surprise for her and it'll be waiting for us when she’s released. The guys assured me that everything would be ready when we get out. They said they’ll put all her furniture in the barn at the cabin, and I'm sure they’ll get help from Crazy Girl and Ever, because I don't think my brothers know shit about decorating a nursery. I called Crazy Girl to find out where to get some baby clothes. She told me to just go to Walmart because it's right down the road from the hospital, so I left Jacey and Kellen long enough to go shopping to get them the things they need to go home. I always get funny looks from people because of my size and my cut, so you can imagine the looks I got going where all the baby shit is. I found the baby section easy enough, but I needed help because I don't know shit about this stuff. I asked this old lady to help me, she was nice enough. She said I was gonna need an onesie, pants, and a coat because it’s cold outside, diapers, a blanket, and a car seat. I get him a tiny fucking clothes set that's dark blue with light blue words that says
“TOUGH GUY”
on the front, and it has a matching hat and little socks. This woman helped me get everything I needed for him, and in the right sizes. While I'm here, I pick up an extra set of clothes for Jacey and me also.

I'm back at the hospital, waiting for the doctor to come in and release them. When the doctor comes in, she gives us a bright smile. "Hey Jacey. Are you ready to take your little guy home?"

"Yes, I'm ready to get out of here. Thanks for everything Sierra."

"You’re welcome, girl. I'm glad you came to your senses and told him." She looks over to me. The way they're talking, they must know each other.

"Yeah, it took me too long. I should've told him from the beginning, but I was being stubborn."

“I take it you know each other?" I ask, wanting to find out.

Jacey answers, “Yeah, we've known each other for awhile. She was my attending doctor until something happened, and made her switch to being an OB/GYN. She was my doctor throughout the pregnancy and she happens to be Zoey’s doctor too."

"Nice to meet you Doctor...?”

I notice something pass through her eyes and face before she responds. “Oh, Dr. Greene. It’s nice to finally meet you too, Bear."

"How you know my name?"

"Jacey talked a lot about you during her appointments. Don't hold it against her for not telling you. I don't know her whole story, but I do know she hasn't had it easy."

"We're working on it. Thanks for taking care of them." I'm genuinely happy that she was taking care of my baby, even if she wouldn't tell me.

"No problem. Alright, you guys are free to go. All the paperwork has been signed and the nurse took your IV out. If you need anything, just call me and make sure to setup your pediatric appointment."

Dr. Greene leaves and we get Kellen dressed. I try helping, but Jacey laughs at me because something so little doesn't work when you have huge hands. She just takes over and then gets herself ready. We get him strapped in the car seat just as the nurse walks in with a wheelchair. "The fuck’s that for? She can walk fine." Kindly smiling, the nurse says, "It’s just protocol. Every patient gets wheeled out, sir." She sits in the wheelchair and I put the car seat in her lap. I go down to bring the surprise to the front exit. I jump out, lighting up a cigarette, and wait for her. When she comes out, her eyes narrow and she’s frowning. Fuck, what did I do now?

"Bear, what the fuck is that?" she asks, pointing at the Tahoe I bought her.

"It’s a Tahoe, Jacey."

"I can see that, Bear. I mean, what’s it doing here, why are we taking it?"

"You needed a different vehicle for the baby."

“Please tell me you did not buy that for me."

"No, I bought it for him," pointing and tilting my chin to Kellen. "Jacey, we needed somethin' to drive him in."

"First of all, my car is fine, Bear. Secondly, I have money. Remember? I can buy my own goddamn car." The longer she talks, the higher her voice rises. She's getting pissed.

"Your car is not fine for him. Where were you gonna put him, in the fuckin' trunk?"

"Not funny asshole. I would have bought something safe for him to ride in."

"We needed it now, Jacey."

"But you get to have your truck and your bike. You expect me to give up my car to drive this?"

"No, Lil Mama. I don't expect you to give up your car. I expect when you’re out with our son, you'll drive this."

"Well, what about you, huh? What are you going to do when you have him?" She’s clutching the car seat so tight, her knuckles are turning white. By the look on her face, she thinks she's won, but she hasn't though. I one up her.

"I was thinkin' I would drive this too, when I had him. We can share it. Whoever has the baby will drive the Tahoe."

I see her thinking it over, and loosening her grip on the car seat, she gives in. "Okay. That's fair."

"Thank fuck we got that settled. Can we get Kellen home now?"

Smiling, she says, "Yes."

We get him all buckled in and I help her into the back. Jumping in the driver’s seat, I head to her apartment. When we get there, I unload Kellen, carrying him up the stairs and into her living room. "Wow, you weren't lying when you said you’d have them clean the place out."

"Nope, not at all. C'mon, let's get the rest of your shit. The guys left some extra boxes." I set Kellen on the floor in her bedroom then grab some boxes, placing them on her bed. She goes to her closet, while I go over to the dresser and start pulling her bras and panties out, and when she comes out, she yells, "Get out of there!” I look over at Kellen’ who's fast asleep. Giving her a curious look, I ask, "Why?"

"Just because. I'll do it."

"It doesn't make sense for me not to help, and besides, I already know what type of panties and bras you wear." I say as I reach into the back of the drawer.

"Bear, I swear to God…” She doesn't finish what she’s saying, as my hand brushes across something and my eyes go big.

"The fuck is that?" I ask, pulling the object out. It’s a green vibrator. I look at her, her cheeks turned bright red. A giant grin forms on my face, and I dangle it in front of her. "Are you embarrassed?"

"Well, yeah kinda."

"Nothin' to be embarrassed about.” I walk closer to her. "Look at me. It's a good thing my brothers didn't see this."

"Bear, don't."

"Don't what, Lil Mama? I just wanna know if you think about me when you use it.”

"Of course I do," she hesitates, then asks, "Bear, were you with anybody when we were apart?" Hurt crosses her face, tears forming in her eyes.

"You want the truth?"

"Yes,” she huffs.

"C'mon," I pull her with me over to the bed. Sitting down, I pull her onto my lap, wrapping my arms around her waist. "At first, I wasn't. I waited for you for a while. Fuck, I thought you had moved on. You wouldn't answer my calls or texts, and I had no fuckin' idea what was goin' on. The night of Ever's graduation party, I couldn't take it anymore. I asked Crazy Girl what was going on with you and she wouldn't tell me, so I went out to the garage to work on my truck and Morgan came out there. She sucked me off, and after that night, I would get head from the whores." She goes to get up but I pull her closer and tighten my hold on her. "Talk to me."

"I don't like the idea of you being with other women."

"Lil Mama, you asked and I won't lie to you. I was angry, please understand where I was comin' from. If it makes you feel better, I jerked off to you for months and when I was with them, I had to think about you."

"No, Bear! That doesn't make me feel better, and actually, that’s worse,” she says, slapping the shit outta my arms. "Oh, I know where you were coming from alright." The hitting continues.

"You got a dirty fuckin' mind! You know that's not what I was sayin'." I try grabbing her wrists. "Hey, quit hittin' me! It could’ve all been prevented." She stills, looking into my eyes, while hers fill with tears.

"I'm sorry," she says. "It’s all my fault. I shouldn't even be mad."

"It’ll be okay, we’ll get past it. At least I didn't put my cock in anybody else. They never turned me on, Jacey. I'm not attracted to any of 'em."

She bursts out laughing. "Yeah, well from this point on I better be the only one."

"You got it, and if you’re gonna use that again,” I point to her green toy I placed on the bed, “you make sure I'm the one usin' it on you. Got me?"

"Yeah, let's get this shit packed."

"Can I ask you somethin’?" I don't know how she’ll feel about this question, but I gotta know.

"Yeah,” she answers, looking skeptical.

"What was it like, hearin' his heartbeat? Did you know you were gonna have a boy?”

Tears return to her eyes and one rolls down her check as she responds. “His heartbeat was amazing, and I can't believe I let you miss all of that. I'm such a bitch. I didn't find out what he was, but I didn't want to know. I had so many conflicting emotions throughout the whole thing. I was happy about the baby but then again I wasn’t, and I think everything would’ve been different if I would have told you." I give her a nod and stand then, grabbing her up and placing her on her feet. I give her a hard slap on the ass and she fucking moans. Shit, this is gonna be a long six weeks. I just get her back and we gotta wait for her to heal before I can have her again.

After all her clothes, shoes, and shit is packed in boxes and I’ve put them in the Tahoe, I call Demon, telling him to bring my truck over to get the last of her furniture from her bedroom. I get Kellen loaded up and we head to my place. When she realizes where we are going she asks, "Why are we heading to the pond?"

"Well because the pond is on my property."

"What do you mean?"

"My place, the pond is on my property." I glance over at her.

"I’m so confused."

"My dad bought this place when I was a kid for when we wanted to get away from the city for a while but still be close enough for him to go to work. After he died, when we lost everything, it got sold, and when I got older and had become part of the club, I came out to go see it. There was a family livin' there and I offered them a cash deal to let me buy it. They gave me one look, saw the amount I offered, and they took it, no questions asked. I haven't lived there, but I keep up on the maintenance of it. Even though I had no plans of ever fallin' in love or havin' a family, I had it set aside in case I needed it."

"Bear, I don't know what to say. I was all wrong about you."

"Yeah, but you just thought what everybody else thinks. They don't expect us to have lives outside of the club. They think were just ‘bad guys’ that live in our own world. Which is true, but if you get to know us, you’d understand there is more to us than just that."

"I'm starting to realize that."

I go past the road to the pond and turn down the next. Going a little way down, surrounded by trees, is the driveway. I turn in and go up until I park in front of the cabin. "Bear, are you fucking serious? This is yours?"

"Yep."

"It’s beautiful."

"Yeah, I used to love coming here. Let's get you two inside, show you around." I help her out, then get Kellen and head up to unlock the front door..

"This is seriously amazing Bear. I love it! It has an old, rustic feel, but new at the same time."

“I've done some work on it and put in all new appliances. The fireplace works and I've chopped some wood for it that's stored out back. The living room is over here and the kitchen’s that way, with a dining room running directly off it. The bedrooms are this way, there are four total.” We start walking toward them, and I continue, “On the left is the master bedroom and bath, which’ll be yours. Next to it is another bedroom, which I assume will be Kellen’s, and on the right side of the hall are the other two bedrooms, which share a bath.” I lead her back to the dining room to show her the backyard, putting Kellen down before we go out. We step through the sliding glass doors onto a giant wooden deck with bench seat railing wrapping around it. Jacey takes time to look at the patio furniture, her eyes lingering at the grill. She looks up after a moment and notices the dock leading into the water.