Queen of Jastain (43 page)

“I saw a vision today during the coronation.”

His sight cleared and he focused on her words, forcing down the desire that tried to strangle him.

“The Light shined from every person, and I realized we're all created to rule the world around us, to have dominion over it. We can tame all living things and help them grow into something worthy.” She stood and paced in front of him, her excitement barely contained. “I believe every person has the Gift of Implanting inside of them, like they have the Light.”

He tilted his head, focusing intently on her. Of course The Light would speak to her. The Light had chosen her, and now it was her appointment to guide the people. An appointment he’d expected for himself. A coldness settled over him, and he stiffened his spine and his resolve. His presence in the castle must be short lived, for her sake as well as his. He must return to the Freelands and his fief, where he belonged. She must settle into her role as queen and later find her Prince Consort. The thought of Abigail with another man stabbed daggers into his heart.

“If we can teach our people to Implant, Seppitent can never have power over anyone in this land again, and we'll remain safe from the threat of Darkness.”

“Your Majesty, these words astonish me, but I perceive truth in them. Though I never before realized the possibility, I see the wisdom of it, and I see they could have only come from the Chosen One.”

“I believe this is the purpose of my reign. I've been Chosen to bring this to pass in our world.” She took his hand. “And there is no one better than you to help me accomplish this edict of the Light. Will you help me?”

He removed her hand from his and stood to leave. “As it pleases Your Majesty, and as I have always done, I will certainly help you.”

 She grabbed him and hugged him tightly, refusing to let go. In truth, he didn’t want her to.

She whispered, “Can’t you stay with me tonight?”

He shook his head. “I'm afraid not, Your Majesty.” He fisted his hands into his pants to keep from embracing her, to keep from scooping her up and carrying her to his bed. He couldn’t remain here.

The hope on her face fell with his rejection and formality. It took every last shred of will he possessed, but he said good night and left.

New are the eyes that Light’s ‘morrow breaks

And hope the companion of love’s great mistakes

Keeper of Stone and Wielder of Sword

Grace to the humble whether Lady or Lord

Come forth, the lovers, hearken and quick

To rebuild the Kingdom brick by brick

To the King - love awaits at the door

Until such is the time it opens once more

A smile on his face and arms open wide

To welcome the Queen alone as his bride

Rushing then, in will he bound

And on the head of the Chosen set a new Crown

On the last eve of her twentieth year, the Seed of Light will be fully-grown and the Crown of Light fully known.

Abby sat on her throne, trying not to look uncomfortable. She really wanted to fold her legs under her or drape one leg over the arm of the gilded chair, but according to Galwyn and the Elders, that was frowned upon.

During certain hours, she was expected to make herself available to hear petitions of the people. Most often the matters were simple disputes to be settled but occasionally she had to seek council. Generally, she sought that council from Avant, but he'd been less and less accessible in the two weeks since the coronation.

Although both Avant and Chad had seemed touched that Abby had included Sentieve in the memorial service honoring those who’d fallen in battle, Avant had fled like a refugee afterward, not even speaking to her.

Since being crowned queen, Abby had reestablished the Festival of New Song, celebrating the ability in each person to Implant and have dominion over the world. The people had whole-heartedly embraced her and her ideas.

She’d made plans to educate the population in their Gift, and she’d tasked Avant with establishing the training program. Seppitent would never have access to her home again without the collective knowledge of her people to defend against him. His power lay in isolation and deception, and together, the people could combat his lies with knowledge and truth. Their connection to the Light would be the backbone of the New Kingdom, keeping it strong for many years to come. She dreamt that one day there would be no one in the land who remembered the Darkness, and that the Kingdom would be ruled in perfect peace.

She’d appointed Petra as ambassador to the lands and stewards of Jastain. It was her hope that they would join her in the fight against Seppitent and could be encouraged into the Kingdom. She’d also asked him to teach and train the people in successful farming and animal husbandry. She prayed for him to find someone who loved him as much as she loved Avant. More than anyone she knew, Petra deserved the happiness the Crown of Light brought. To see him filled with love for someone who loved him was the desire of her heart.

Lyndsea and Chad decided to remain in the Freelands. They were engaged to be married. Chad felt he could do more good in this world with his scientific knowledge than finishing his studies back home. He worked on providing running water into every dwelling. Although it still wasn’t clear who his biological father was, it didn’t seem to bother him. Avant thought of him as his own.

Abby missed Helean and had offered her a prime position in the palace, but she wouldn’t leave the manor. Abby understood. No matter where she lived, the Freelands and Domentus Ventium would always seem like home.

Everyone held their proper place. Lives broken by the effects of the darkness were restored. She appointed Annova as her personal advisor on matters of prophecy. Annova promised to come to the Kingdom twice a year for the Festivals. Though the position of high priest was not officially reinstated, Abby considered it the joint task of Avant and Annova. At least, until she and Avant were married. Then the position would be solely his. She counted on him to fulfill the calling of high priest...and husband.

The victory over Seppitent, restoration of the Kingdom, and the realization of her own destiny; all of these things added to the richness of her life, but it wasn’t complete…and she waited.

Days passed, but her hope didn’t wane. Just as she might have anticipated hearing her favorite song, it would eventually play, and she would dance again.

Two days before her twenty-first birthday, he finally came to her. “Your Majesty, if I may, I seek an audience with you.”

Her heart beat wildly against her ribs. Just to see him was a treat, but he had something to ask her? The desire to leap into his arms almost overwhelmed her. “You know you can see me anytime and say anything.”

“You're wrong, Your Majesty. Your position requires more from us than that.” Avant stood rigid.

Was he nervous? Her stomach knotted in anticipation. “Maybe. But I can’t see how those formalities apply to you. You’ll have to help me work through it.” She smiled and wiggled her eyebrows.

He faintly smiled and nodded.

“Always so serious. What do you want to tell me?”

“It is time for me to care for my own lands. I ask leave to return to Domentus Ventium.”

Bands of stress tightened around her chest. “Leave? For how long?”

“Indefinitely.” Those blue eyes were as unreadable as they’d ever been.

Her heart caught in her throat. “Avant, no.
Why?
I need you here.”

“Everything you've asked of me I can accomplish from my home, and you're more than capable.”

“But I…I thought…why are you leaving me?” Her voice cracked. Her eyes prickled and burned as she stared at his rigid form. He had completely closed himself off to her.

“My presence is no longer required, and I need to return to my home. I'm available for you anytime.” He spoke with a cordial formality that nauseated her.

Her heart felt as if it was being ripped in two. “I need you now. You’re my family. You belong here with me.” The words came out as more of a sob than a statement.

“No. I do not belong here. There is no place for me, and I have my own responsibilities.”

A cry escaped her. She couldn't speak the words out loud.
“Why are you doing this? I didn't want this job. It's not my fault, but you're punishing me.”

He stood, a stone statue, and said nothing.

Fighting the tears that wouldn't be pushed back, she held his impenetrable gaze and somehow forced the bitter words from her mouth. “You're free to go.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty. I'll be taking my leave immediately.”

The sound of his footsteps fading down the hall fell like death.

* * * *

Avant left at noon and traveled straight through without stopping, arriving in the Freelands by dawn. A quick departure bode better than a lingering goodbye. His gut knotted. It seemed his only destiny was to hurt the women he loved, which made it imperative that he remove himself.

Abigail didn’t need him any longer. Great and mighty Light, his chest ripped open to leave her. He had no place in the Kingdom when he couldn’t even read his own Gift—if he ever had a Gift. She wanted him to establish the Implanting training program. That was comical. What could he possibly teach about the Implanting?

How could he be worthy of her, when his own Light failed him? She'd blossomed into a great woman—a noble queen—and the New Kingdom of Light was stronger for her leadership. But she'd outgrown him.

Grief impaled his heart, and he stifled a gasp. He dashed away foolish tears.
You are accustomed to living with heartache, Avant.
He had done it for many long years, but this—this rending was more than his will could bear. Leaving her there had been the single hardest thing he'd ever done. The sound of her words sliced through him.
Why are you leaving me?

She'd held to her promise to allow him to lead, a fact which made him love her more. He hung his head. Without her, he'd never again be whole.

He found himself walking the path to the house in the vineyard. “Annova, are you here?” He stepped into the gray stone home and found her in the main room.

She rose to greet him as he entered, a question in her eyes and voice. “Avant, what are you doing here?”

“I've come home. There was no need for me to stay at the palace any longer, and I've my own lands to attend.” He stood stiffly in front of her in an effort to justify his being there.

She searched his face through narrowed eyes. “What do you mean? This is not where you belong. Your own Gift has told you that.”

“My Gift has betrayed me, and I am no longer able to discern it.” He did not meet her gaze.

She lifted his chin to look into his eyes. “How has your Gift betrayed you?”

He jerked from her scrutiny and paced the room. “You know full well I've dreamt on many occasions that I would be the ruler of the Kingdom of Light, but clearly that was…an error.”

“Was it? What exactly do you remember of these dreams?”

“My dreams showed me that I would be king. Many, including you, believed that I would be king, but we were misguided.”

“Avant, my love, your pride has deceived you, not your Gift.” The wretched woman laughed. “You are determined to destroy your own happiness with your implacable will. I told you long ago, this journey would not be what you thought but to trust your Gift. Does the Light now require more than you can give?”

He balked at her askance. “Annova, you know I would do anything the Light asked of me.”

“Then do you not see what the Light requires?” Her mothering tone filled him with shame. “For you to rule would be like breathing, for that comes naturally to you, but to follow…that is a sacrifice which you are, apparently, unwilling to give. Perhaps it is not on the throne where you are to lead, Avant.”

“Then, where?”

“From the altar.”

The power of her words hit him with the brunt force of a mace. Air whooshed from his lungs, and his body froze. Was it possible? The divine symmetry fit perfectly: a married couple to rule and lead. A high priest and a queen.

Annova continued. “For the Light to truly reign again in Jastain, a high priest must lead the people. Is that not the role you have been born to? Is that not the reason for your existence?”

The full revelation weighed upon his shoulders. He sank on the closest thing he could find: a footstool that forced his legs into his chest. His head dropped into his hands. In his arrogance, he'd assumed he would rule the Kingdom of Light, not that he would stand beside the ruler. But his dreams had shown him he would be king, or at least, he thought they had.

“Do you not love Abigail, Avant? You have forced her to endure more than anyone should for one they love.”

He sat, silently absorbing all Annova said. High priest? Like his father?

Guilt swirled with revelation and understanding. His Gift had not deserted him. He’d somehow misread the signs. He’d left Abigail alone, without a spiritual head, without his love and support. Urgency tore through him. Avant jumped from his seat. “I have to go, Annova.”

He bolted out the door to find Spiritus. If only he had Placement Implanting, he could right this horrible wrong within minutes, but his heart leapt with joy as he suspected she may be somewhere close by. If not, he would make his way back to her in the palace.

As fast as Spiritus would fly, Avant headed to the falls. His patience had finally reached an end. There would be no more waiting for his life to begin, no decades of martyrdom. The present and forever after was with Abigail. Now, all he had to do was convince her.

She sat on a rock near the lower pool, crying. He leapt from the stallion and ran to her. Sweeping her up from the ground, he held her close. As long as she was in his arms, in his heart, in his life, he could do anything.