Queen (119 page)

    people. She took charity, gracelessly, where she could find it, and begged

    or borrowed or stole when there was nothing else. Abner was her only

    consolation, and the only contact she made with anyone was for his welfare.

    He settled into an extraordinary acceptance of their circumstances. He

    stared out at the world with round, open eyes, received gratefully all that

    it offered, and cried only if he was hungry and they had no food, or if he

    was tired and they had no bed for the night. She took jobs if she could

    find them, only to be dismissed because of her short temper. And yet the

    world was kinder to her than she allowed it to be. Folk took pity on her,

    perhaps because ~he was so desolate, or for the boy's sake, and she

    survived. She avoided anywhere that she might be known, such as Huntsville

    or Decatur, and tried to avoid anywhere she had been.

    After a year of wandering, she came to the outskirts of Florence, and was

    forced to make a decision. She could go back to The Forks of Cypress and

    beg some shelter at least, from Jass, or Missy Sally, or she could go on.

    Since going back to an unhappy past was almost worse than her surviving

    present, she chose to go on, but to where she did not know. She followed

    the river and eventually she came to Savannah. She took the ferry north,

    and when the ferryman talked of a job and food, her mouth watered, for she

    had not eaten in two days, and her body craved for shelter, for she had not

    slept in a bed for a week. When she got off the ferry, she walked for a few

    hundred yards on the northern shore, well aware of her empty purse and her

    hopeless position, and then turned back, to throw herself on the mercy of

    the ferryman.

It was the last run for the day. Soon it would be night. As Alec docked, he

looked at Queen.

    "Wait there," he said, nodding to the trees. Queen did as he bade, not

    knowing what he had in mind, but put herself in

    A WIFE AND MOTHER, LOVED 727

his hands because she was beyond making a decision for herself. If he

proved as venal as all men, she would defend herself, and she would

survive somehow, but at that moment, she did not know how, or for what

reason, except Abner.

    Alec tied up the ferry and sent Freeland home. He offered to carry Abner,

    but Queen would not part with the boy. He led her up the muddy path to

    the Cherry mansion, took her in the back way, and introduced her to Dora,

    who was cook and housekeeper to Mr. Cherry.

    Dora was mountainous and magnificent, of brisk manner and immense heart.

    She took one look at the sodden sparrow clutching her boy to her and

    gathered them up and cared for them as if they were her own. She made

    warm milk immediately, then took them into her own bedroom, next to the

    kitchen, and found warm dry clothes for Queen and a fresh, dry blanket

    for Abner. She poured a big basin of hot water for them to wash, and went

    back to the kitchen while Queen changed. She heated up a pot of thick

    stew and talked to Alec, who had made himself comfortable by the fire.

    Both guessed at her circumstances without reaching any conclusions, and

    Alec told her that he had mentioned the job to the woman.

    "Time enough fo' that later," Dora said to Alec, as Queen came nervously

    back into the kitchen. She felt a little silly in the enormous dressing

    gown, and still held Abner close to her, as she was wont to do in a house

    of strangers, however wellintentioned they appeared to be. Dora sat her

    at the table and put a big plate of stew in front of her, and cut some

    slabs of bread. Queen mushed up some meat and vegetables and fed them to

    Abner, making sure he was satisfied before she attended to her own

    hunger. She would not speak, and only answered questions with a grunt or

    a monosyllable, which made Alec a little cross. Thank you was not such

    a hard thing to say. But her devotion to the boy impressed him, and he

    glanced at Dora. She flicked her head at the door, suggesting he leave,

    for she thought Queen might respond better if she was alone with a woman.

    Alec took the hint and made his good-nights. He had to be home to his

    brood, and see what problems the day had brought. Queen did not

    acknowledge his leaving.

    It was clear to Dora that Abner had eaten as much as he needed, and Queen

    very little.

728 ALEX HALEY'S QUEEN

    "The chile's done eatin', she said. "I'll hold him while you finish up."

But Queen would not let Abner go.

"Don't touch him," she said.

Dora was puzzled and concerned.

    "Lord, girl, what you think, I'm gwine steal him from you?"

    Queen shrugged. Too many people had tried to take Abner away from her

    already, but she had no way of explaining that.

    Dora busied herself with pots and pans, and asked about her

    qualifications. Queen responded less curtly, and her answers satisfied

    Dora, who agreed she could have the job for a week, on a trial basis. It

    was long hours and hard work, but Mr. Cherry was a fine, fair man, and

    if Queen proved suitable she would be asked to stay on. There was no

    response, and as Dora turned from the stove, she saw Queen filching some

    bread from the table and stuffing it into her pocket. Again, Dora was

    intrigued, but made no comment about it. She saw that Abner was asleep.

    "Look at that boy, fast asleep in his mammy's arms," she said. "Sweetest

    sight in all the world."

    She sat beside Queen, to try to find some way to communicate with her.

    "Is you still hungry?" she asked, and Queen shook her head. She was

    staring down at her plate, as if her head was too heavy to hold up

    upright.

    "Is you tired?" Dora asked. For a moment there was no reply, but then

    Queen looked at her and tears were streaming down her face. She hadn't

    cried since the death of Davisthere was no point in it-but now in this

    warm kitchen, in the company of a kindly woman, with a job and not hungry

    anymore, a year's worth of tears found their release.

    "I never been so tired in all my life," she said. She held on to Abner

    and wept. She could not go to another human being for comfort, because

    she had been too long alone, so Dora went to her. She put her embracing

    arms around the unhappy woman, and held her to her bosom while she cried.

    As mammies do.

    Dora let Queen cry until she was done, then dried her eyes and told her

    everything was going to be all right now. She

    A WIFE AND MOTHER, LOVED 729

might have taken her up the back stairs to her room, but she wanted Queen

to have some appreciation of the job she had been offered, and led her

through the main hall of the house, and up the sweeping staircase.

    The hall was elegantly appointed, and fine portraits hung on the walls,

    reminding Queen of The Forks of Cypress. She walked up the stairs feeling

    as if she were back where she started, and remembered herself climbing

    stairs similar to this, many years ago, in the company of a woman who

    didn't love her, taking her away from her mammy, who did.

    "Massa won't mind Abner being with me?" she asked Dora, who laughed.

    "Do his heart good to have a chile in the house again," she said. "This

    ol' place has been all echoes and shadows since Massa Cherry's chillun

    done leave home."

    She was anxious to learn what she could of Queen's background, and pried

    gently.

    "Don't s'ppose you ever seen the like," she said, referring to the

    magnificent hall, and the splendid portraits.

Queen's mind was filled with ghosts.

    "Oh, yes," she nodded. "My pappy was a great man. I lived in the big

    house."

    It wasn't much, but Dora thought it was a considerable breakthrough.

    "Where yo' pappy now?" she asked, as they moved across the upper hall to

    the second stairs. "He passed on?"

    She didn't react when she heard a soft, sad voice behind her, but the

    words stung her heart.

    "No," Queen said. "He didn't love me. Because I am black. "

    Her room was small, but comfortable, and blessedly warm. She made Abner

    comfortable under the blankets, his head on a pillow, and Dora told her

    to steep in the dressing gown.

    "First thing tomorrow, we get you some decent clothes," she said,

    thinking nothing of it. This was too much generosity for Queen, who was

    used to begging for it, and stealing it.

"I don't want no charity," she muttered angrily.

    Dora was concerned. She needed help in the house and Queen had the

    qualifications, but under normal circumstances, she would have preferred

    someone with a happier personality.

730 ALEX HALEY'S QUEEN

She had been kind to Queen because she was a kind woman and Queen needed

help, but her first loyalty was to Massa Cherry, for whom she had worked,

slave and free, all her life. She also thought that too much kindness might

not be the best thing for Queen.

    "You listen to me, Missy,' I she said sharply. "If you gwine work here, you

    gotta dress nice and look nice and be nice. You say you was raised proper

    and got good manners-well, you start showing it. Massa Cherry don't want

    some meantempered skivvy running round the house."

Queen turned away, sulking.

    "If'n it'll make you feel better, I's takin' the cost of yo' new clothes

    out of yo' wages."

    She thought she had been stem enough for the moment, so she relaxed a

    little.

    "Coz you don't look so good in my hand-me-downs," she added, with a twinkle

    in her eye and her voice.

    Her warmth of tone and commanding personality reassured Queen, who needed

    someone to tell her what to do.

    "I's sorry," she whispered, and Dora laughed. She helped Queen into the bed

    and tucked her in. As mammies do.

    The crisp, clean sheets felt wonderful to Queen, and she snuggled Abner to

    her, and thought she never wanted to wake up. Dora sat on the edge of the

    bed, and stroked her hair.

    "Don't have to worry no more," she said softly. "You safe now. I I

    Queen could not accept that. She turned her head away, to look at the wall.

"Don't belong nowhere," she murmured.

    Dora could only guess at what had happened to Queen to bring her to such

    desolation, but she was beginning to understand something of the forces

    driving her, and what she needed.

    "Glory be, chile," she said. "Everybody belong somewhere. Jus' takes some

    folk a while to work out where it is."

    Still she stroked Queen's hair, and thought of her own children, married

    now, with families of their own. She thanked God that she had never seen

    any of her girls in a state as wretched as Queen's.

    A WIFE AND MOTHER, LOVED 731

    She began to hum a gentle lullaby, which slowly formed into soft,

    loving words.

    Queen drifted to sleep with Abner in her arms, while Dora sat with

    her, and lulled her with childhood songs.

As mammies do.

    85

    ====> 1~

When Alec got home that evening, it was to the usual domestic chaos. He

employed a girl, Little Bit, as part-time housekeeper, but she was a

foolish, dreaming girl, lazy and difficult, and far too young to be

surrogate mother to Alec's children. For although Minnie, his eldest girl,

was useful around the house, Freeland was too full of youthful energy to

be anything but a nuisance, and Julie was not old enough to help anyone.

George, who lived with them in the shed at the back of the shack, did his

best, but was young himself, and often tired from his long hours on the

farm. No matter how much love Alec tried to show his children, no matter

how many speeches of mutual cooperation he made, no matter how much

authority he gave Little Bit over the household, she was hardly older than

her charges, and there was constant bickering and general unhappiness.

Tonight, the dinner was late.

    "Lord sakes, Little Bit," Alec said tetchily, "they should have et an

    hour ago."

    Little Bit thought she had worked hard, and resented his constant

    griping.

    "I cain't do everything," she complained as she always did. "I bin here

    fo' hours cookin' an' cleanin', an' I's dog tired."

    Although she wasn't too tired to look forward to her date that night with

    her new boyfriend. Rather than argue with her, Alec gave in, for it had

    been a long day.

    "All right, Little Bit," he said. "You go on home. I'll see to

    everything. "

732 ALEX HALEY'S QUEEN

    Little Bit needed no second bidding, and grabbed her hat and coat.

    "Time you had a new wife to slave for yo'," she sniffed as she walked out