Pygmy (17 page)

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Authors: Chuck Palahniuk

BOOK: Pygmy
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Female parentage stoop until face level with face of operative me.

Male parentage offer hand for shake. Well wishes. Best luck.

Recall female parentage purse lips of face, offer gesture to contacts lips against face skin of this agent in expression so demonstrate affection.

However this agent decline. Too many peers present, too many possible witness such weak sentiment. Instead, offer hand for shake hand of female parentage.

Female fashion face of half smile. Accept hand.

Feet of operative me mount steps, climb slope amidst herd similar children compelled tested this day, dense flood such children, each alive since four years of birth. Child of future become physician. Become mechanical engineer. If poor tested, relegated refuse laborer. Compelled for mining salt. Mounting steps, trudge more high, children breathing
whisper, “Igneous, metamorphic, sedimentary…” Weeping children pushed along with crowd. Other children whisper say, “Cumulus, stratus, cirrus…”

Adjacent child quotes relentless avatar, demented prophet Adolf Hitler, whisper say, “‘He alone, who owns the youth, gains the future.’”

Arriving portal of building, stance high atop slope so many steps, eyes of operative me revolve head so look back, attempt regain vision parentage. No such fortunate. No able. From such far distant, all parentage massed together. No parentage distinct. At foot of slope steps, visible merely packed gray crowd. Motley ragged mob.

From below, must this agent also be lost amid similar crowd children.

Quote, “He alone, who owns the youth, gains the future.”

Next now, this agent entering portal swept forward, buoyed by tide of shared generation. Washed through doorway routed with peers toward direction inevitable future, lips of operative me making quiet prayer of, “… radium, radon, rhenium, rhodium …” All swept down throat of hallway until portal heals behind, locked shut from past.

Dispatch
Nineteenth

Begins here nineteenth account of operative me, agent number 67, on arrival retail product distribution facility of city
. Outlet number
. Date
. For official record, no yet legal adopted so become full member host family Cedar. Making all effort resist absorption into American cult of the individual, traditional method entrenched oligarchy so maintain own power: Fracture citizen isolated into different religion, different race, different family. Label as rich culture diversity. Cleave as unique until each citizen stand alone. Until each vote invested no value. Single citizen celebrated as special—in actual, remaining no power.

Only when wedded to state purpose grants the citizen actual power. State mission and plan creates helpless individual as noble identity with grand reason for exist.

Arriving shopping mall, magic quiet door go sideways, disappear inside wall to open path from outside. Reveal inside stand old woman, Doris Lilly, slave woman appareled with red tunic, say, “Welcome to Wal-Mart.” Say, “May I help you find something?”

Mouths of this agent make smile, face design into pleasing eye contact. This agent say, “Much venerate ancient mother … to be commended such courage facing own imminent infirmity and demise…” Say, “Where sold here location 20 Mule Team Borax?” Say, “Available of purchase here cream of tartar?”

For official record, stationed sentry interior door Wal-Mart
desiccated skeleton covered skin split infinite fissures, esteemed aged citizen cast eye on this agent, say, “Well, look at this…” Say, “If it isn’t our little
hero
.”

Feet of operative me stance before lauded skeleton, this agent request assistance, ask location to acquire muriatic acid, additional obtain drain cleaner?

“Goodness,” say top respected decayed cadaver, splay knurled fingers aligned either side knotted face, frame wide-circle eye and mouth so affected expression of surprise. Say, “Don’t tell me you save the lives of innocent children
and
you do windows…”

Visible milling about interior Wal-Mart, operative Tibor, operative Mang. Additional visible top glorious Madam Party Pillows, lady delegate Malawi. Bodacious Madam Fun Bags, lady delegate Nepal.

Concealed interior trouser of operative me, paper American currency soiled fecal stain Trevor Stonefield, currency damp seed of this agent, partial saturated blood of clear-yellow bully.

“Cleaning supplies,” say venerated dead-flesh mummy, “are on aisle fifteen.”

Feet of operative me make small parade skirting labyrinth assembled packages printed many bright colors ink. Packages skinned tight glossy plastic. Plenteous plentitude too many objects ranked along shelf, bright faces begging for consumed before expiration. Best improved. Most strong taste. Dwindling worth mere days before rendered garbage by passing time.

In secret thinking machine of operative me recite quote violent cynic, socialist advocate Johann Most, within skull say, “Whoever looks at America will see: the ship is powered by stupidity, corruption, or prejudice.”

Next then confronted enticing sweater meats, lady delegate Gambia. Caucasoid female boasting dolichocephalic-shape skull, one hand lifted so fingers entwined own brunette hairs, twist and stress hair tresses so demonstrate own superior health through strand tensile strength. Making displayed large eyes within receded zygomas, all indicate greater likelihood repeated numbers live offspring. Lady delegate fashion mouth to make facsimile engorged labium, say, “Hi.” Say, “I didn’t know you went here…”

Skull of operative me merely tilt forward to acknowledge. Stance paralyzed.

Within mind of operative me, in secret this agent say,…
gallium, germanium, gold…

“Most times,” say lady delegate Gambia, “I go to the Wal-Mart on Spring Vista Parkway, only sometimes I go to the Wal-Mart on Valley Drive.” Stressing own hair, engorging facial labium, say, “Today I just decided to try a new Wal-Mart … and
here you are!
” Say, “Isn’t that
weird?

Prowling within scope peripheral vision, operative Tibor observe scene. Encircle for surveillance. Tibor appareled typical American tunic, hem hang to knee level, black fabric printed alphabet English words “Mustache Rides 50 Cents.”

Delegate Gambia say, “Thanks for saving my life the other day.” Trail fingers of hand combing tresses. Trail fingers opposite hand so touching earlobe, dragged along line jawbone, trail down elegant tunnel of windpipe so arrive cleavage of mammary glands. Hand lingering at cleft, delegate say, “Maybe we could go out sometime?”

Additional prowling pig dog host brother, stance behind lady delegate, mocking with pig dog tongue extended, flickering pointed pink tip of own tongue muscle in direction delegate. Next, cupping own hands over own pectoral muscle to
mimic glands, fingers twist and squeeze own invisible mammary glands.

Voice of operative me, issued most diplomatic tone, say, “Revered biggest madam…” Say, “Understood you already prior impregnated.”

Hand stressing hair strand, fingers seize, paralyze. Lady Gambia say, “Huh?”

Head of operative me tilt toward direction distant operative Tibor. Neck muscle of that agent ringed purple hematomas, skin dented teeth bites. Tibor luggage basket contain baking soda, bleaching powder.

Eyes of lady delegate follow until cast on Tibor. Delegate say, “Oh, that.” Say, “I skipped Algebra II yesterday, and went to Planned Parenthood.” Finger of delegate lift from cleavage to fashion small flicker direction of Tibor.

Tibor fingers no flicker in return.

Feet of operative me continue parade so discover aisle fifteen, lye necessary for distill sodium hydroxide needed Operation Havoc. Tinner’s fluid for obtain zinc chloride.

New now, approached by operative Metro for surrender to this agent vast wealth American dollar bills. Approached by operative Sheena, for granting this agent additional mass sum paper money secreted out religious food plates.

From growing distant, voice of lady delegate Gambia chase after this agent. Madam Gambia say, “Anytime you want.” Away more far, more faint, voice say, “Maybe I’ll see you at school?”

Next now, pig dog brother sidle adjacent stride of this agent. Marching in step, host brother say, “You’re the man, Pygmy.” Say, “From now on, you’ll be up to your neck in hot, wet pussy.”

Host brother describe how, this current now, authorities
conducting autopsy atop deceased decapitated corpse Trevor Stonefield. For explain aberrant behavior, butchering skull of clear-yellow hair, extracting brain for minute examine tumor. Hack fractured many pieces slaughtered bully. Mutilate into fragments pathetic corpse seeking possible answer. American ritual for render criminal harmless in death, remove blood, separate divide all vital organ. Total disassemble tainted flesh.

Host brother say, “Little man, you have
got
to learn me how to yank off folks’ heads!”

Feet of operative me continue parade, secret recite,
Hafnium … helium … holmium …

Pig dog say, “I guess my sister is off-limits now that she’s going to be your sister, too.”

Within thinking machine of operative me, in secret this agent recite say,…
iridium, iron, iodine …

Next now, approached by lavish chesticle lady delegate Haiti demonstrate standard mating behavior: waistband trouser lowered so reveal midriff, cleft of buttocks filled central strap pink-colored undergarment thong. Caucasoid female feature typical low degree of projection of alveolar ridge containing pristine teeth. Lady delegate separate glossy lips of face, say, “Hi, Pygmy…”

Feet of operative me continue parade.

Feet of pig dog brother cease, stance adjacent delegate Haiti, say, “Yo, hot mama.” Say, “That’s my new kid brother you’re hitting on.”

For official record, no brother. No yet adopted. No official. Perhaps no never.

Continued along parade, this agent respond over own shoulder, say, “Most honored lady…” Continue parade, say, “Are you no already vessel for reproductive seed of Mang?”

From behind, fading in distant, lady delegate say, “It’s okay. I went to the school nurse…” Receding more faint, say, “I got those morning-after plan B pills…”

Within mind of operative me, in secret this agent keep say,…
tin, titanium, tungsten…

Pig dog brother, lady delegate Haiti, both remain abandoned in trail of operative me.

Small parade arrive aisle fifteen, wall of packages stacked mothballs for extracting napthalene. Vast array bottle milk of magnesia to yield magnesium hydroxide. Infinite selection alum for aluminum sulfate. Ammonia combined water for ammonium hydroxide. Carbolic acid for phenol. Borax for distill sodium borate. Ingredients massed necessary all component of science fair project.

Execution Operation Havoc. Massive debacle.

Next now, voice say, female voice say from behind, “Congratulations, comrade.” Revealed as voice operative Magda, at helm large basket crafted silver wire, roll atop wheels. Magda commence select chrome alum, deposit interior basket, say, “You demonstrate superior mental brilliance.”

Magda continue select vinegar, effective source ingredient acetic acid, place bottle vinegar within wheel basket, say, “You rescue a handful ridiculous, silly American children…” Say, “So soon we may kill millions…”

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